Gave my notice this week

[KuruPrionz]

1 hour ago, Tom Williams said:

One gig pending in October.  Practice this evening reinforced my comfort with the decision to leave.

 

BTW, I did not intend to knock cover bands.  They're just not my bag, is all.

Not really mine either but I made good use of being in a few. 

That said, I do not intend to ever play Sweet Home Alabama again unless I can follow it with Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon.

[OB Dave]

This is reminiscent of the "Leaving the Band" thread from a couple years ago. I had a standing gig that I quit in October of 2019. Averaged 5+ times per month for years and the pay was good. It was fun until it wasn't and eventually I left, then Covid came and gigs dried up anyway. I still sub in occasionally for my replacement. Subbing in every now and then is fun but to be honest I thought I was going to miss playing regularly more than I actually do.

 

So, I'm fine with it. Played in bands for 30+ years and I think the itch has been scratched. At least for now. If my my opinion changes and the right opportunity comes along, I'm open to seeing where that leads. But I'm good for now. 

[Threadslayer]

3 hours ago, OB Dave said:

 I thought I was going to miss playing regularly more than I actually do.

So, I'm fine with it. Played in bands for 30+ years and I think the itch has been scratched. 

[stoken6]

3 hours ago, OB Dave said:

Played in bands for 30+ years and I think the itch has been scratched

Interesting. I'm probably racking up 35 years in bands, but I'm not ready to give it up. As mentioned earlier in this thread, I don't feel the need to "be in a band", but I'm enjoying the freedom of pickup/sub gigs. I still get a thrill from the "great to have you on board, here are the 30 songs for Saturday" process.

 

Cheers, Mike.

[Morrissey]

On 9/13/2022 at 11:08 AM, KuruPrionz said:

They are not there for you, they are there for the party. Truth.

 

@ProfD already quoted this and I'll do it again.  Truth.

[Steve Beach]

Don’t feel bad Tom.  I’ve just done the same thing with my band after eight years. It is a natural thing. It all just wears you down. I’ve started playing with some different people, freelancing, and I’m having FUN again! That’s what it’s all about. I’m tinkering with my gear, making changes, playing new songs, interacting. Re-evaluated and life is good. Hope it works out for you too! 👍

[Tom Williams]

Update: there's no winning sometimes.  Our singer (2) has reportedly started dinging me on FB, since I am so "suddenly" quitting.  (remember kids: I gave them four months' notice.)

Even though the singer and I have locked horns occasionally during practice, I have never referred to her in any sense other than to offer the highest praise. 

 

On the upside, she spared me the embarrassment of reading her facebook-based nastiness directly by by first (1) unfriending me and my wife. 

 

She also (3) texted today that "Since Tom's quitting, I am canceling the [mid-October] gig."   After getting feedback from the rest of the band, she decided not to unilaterally cancel the October gig.  

 

I guess the wisdom of leaving this band has been reaffirmed. 

[wineandkeyz]

19 minutes ago, Tom Williams said:

I guess the wisdom of leaving this band has been reaffirmed. 

Indeed.

[Delaware Dave]

On 8/27/2022 at 8:49 AM, Delaware Dave said:

I've been playing with the same group of guys for 20 years.  We've won a number of local band contests.  Same guys that do the Southern rock Woodstock up and down the east coast.  The sound level is deafening and as a result i'm going deaf in in my right ear.  I gave my notice about a month ago and said i would finish out the remainder of the gigs. The BL is in denial thinking that it will pass.  I have a gig tonight with them but told them i wasnt doing it.  He laughed at me and said "you'll be there".  I said Ok.  My wife and i are leaving for the day in about 15 minutes and wont be returning until late so no gig for me tonight. I thought after 20 years i'd have mixed emotions but actually have a sense of relief.  Tom, do what's best for you....

 

Well, I did my last show Saturday with the deafeningly loud band. The band leader gave me a song and dance about how he and the other guitar player would dial it back; I told him it went deeper than just volume (although it’s a big item).  Lack of set lists, band disorganization, inefficient practices, not adding the new songs to the list after we practice them, it just goes on and on.  It’s a shame because the band talent level is phenomenal, but too many negatives overriding the positives. Each guitar player blames the other guitar player for the loudness even though both have their 100 watt marshall tube heads (into 4x12 cabinets) dimed. It’s almost comical listening to both blaming each other.  During the show in between songs a woman came up to me with her fingers in her ears telling me that the vocals need to be turned up.  I asked her which instruments were causing the vocals to be drowned out, she said ‘the guitar’.  I asked her which guitar and she said both guitars.  No surprises there.  The 2nd to last song the bass player’s Mesa bass amp (700 watt head into two 4x12 cabinets) blew a fuse, he was also dimed at the time.  He also had no spare fuses so we had to wire his bass guitar directly to the main board. Fitting ending to a long relationship……  and so another chapter passes.

 

This morning I got a text from the BL reminding me we have two shows coming up in the next two weeks…..  It wasn’t a group text, it was sent directly to me.  He probably couldn’t hear me telling him I quit over his dimed guitar amp.

[stoken6]

17 minutes ago, Delaware Dave said:

I asked her which instruments were causing the vocals to be drowned out, she said ‘the guitar’.

Common. Not universal, but common.

 

I gig with a one-guitar band, the guitar is loud, but luckily on the other side of the stage. Last night, he was unavailable, so we had two guitar subs - inevitably one on my side of the stage. Too loud for me without earplugs...

 

Cheers, Mike.

[Delaware Dave]

14 minutes ago, stoken6 said:

Common. Not universal, but common.

 

I gig with a one-guitar band, the guitar is loud, but luckily on the other side of the stage. Last night, he was unavailable, so we had two guitar subs - inevitably one on my side of the stage. Too loud for me without earplugs...

 

Cheers, Mike.

 

The remaining band I play in we have one lead and one rhythm guitar.  My monitor is set to 2 or 3.  We could actually talk to each other on the stage.  This band I have to bring a 2nd monitor.  I set the one behind me just loud enough so that I can hear it.  I set the 2nd monitor in front of me dimed.  In effect it is like me going through the mains except that I bring my own main speaker rather than running through FOH.  Can't put my keys through the FOH because too many instruments going through the FOH reduces available volume to the vocals 🤣.  The 'genius' level is almost comical.... 

 

 

 

 

 

[stoken6]

1 hour ago, Delaware Dave said:

Can't put my keys through the FOH because too many instruments going through the FOH reduces available volume to the vocals

Huh?

 

Does. Not. Compute.

 

Cheers, Mike.

[harmonizer]

I play in a 7-piece covers band and am 61, and as I get older I am more concerned about the physical grind of packing gear, load-in, load-out and returning gear. My top motivation for playing in this band now is that my son (now in his 20s) also plays in the band.

 

I am less concerned about whether any of my playing has diminished, partly because my keyboard playing is mostly about good judgement and not technical skills, and from a pop/rock perspective my sax playing is close to as good as it ever has been.

[El Lobo]

4 hours ago, harmonizer said:

I am less concerned about whether any of my playing has diminished, partly because my keyboard playing is mostly about good judgement and not technical skills, and from a pop/rock perspective my sax playing is close to as good as it ever has been.

I am eggzackly the same.

[zxcvbnm098]

On 9/27/2022 at 10:33 AM, El Lobo said:

my keyboard playing is mostly about good judgement and not technical skills

 

My god that's a great line. I think that's what I bring to a band, and I know that's essentially what I'm always looking for in other players....

[Jose EB5AGV]

Talking about audio levels.... Today, during our weekly band rehearsal, the drummer has told me "low your level because I can't hear other people". Well, as a keyboardist, I am usually deafened by the drums, deleted by the guitar and today, when I was able to hear myself just a bit on the mix, he says that... 😠

 

Well, it was just a rehearsal, I have dialed down a bit (just a bit 😬). But I will play my cards when in public. It has no sense to have a person playing keys which are just impossible to hear!. And I know, told by people attending a couple concerts, that it is no my imagination: my sound was too low on first one and, on second, I had to use my local volume control to get out of the mud when needed.

 

I guess this happens lots of times when keys are just background, as my playing is mostly now... But as a novice, I had not suffered it by myself. Now I know how it feels 🤨

 

Jose

[KuruPrionz]

On 9/16/2022 at 8:10 PM, Tom Williams said:

Update: there's no winning sometimes.  Our singer (2) has reportedly started dinging me on FB, since I am so "suddenly" quitting.  (remember kids: I gave them four months' notice.)

Even though the singer and I have locked horns occasionally during practice, I have never referred to her in any sense other than to offer the highest praise. 

 

On the upside, she spared me the embarrassment of reading her facebook-based nastiness directly by by first (1) unfriending me and my wife. 

 

She also (3) texted today that "Since Tom's quitting, I am canceling the [mid-October] gig."   After getting feedback from the rest of the band, she decided not to unilaterally cancel the October gig.  

 

I guess the wisdom of leaving this band has been reaffirmed. 

That's too bad, not classy behavior. 

Kinda seals the deal though, good riddance. 

[KuruPrionz]

6 hours ago, EB5AGV said:

Talking about audio levels.... Today, during our weekly band rehearsal, the drummer has told me "low your level because I can't hear other people". Well, as a keyboardist, I am usually deafened by the drums, deleted by the guitar and today, when I was able to hear myself just a bit on the mix, he says that... 😠

 

Well, it was just a rehearsal, I have dialed down a bit (just a bit 😬). But I will play my cards when in public. It has no sense to have a person playing keys which are just impossible to hear!. And I know, told by people attending a couple concerts, that it is no my imagination: my sound was too low on first one and, on second, I had to use my local volume control to get out of the mud when needed.

 

I guess this happens lots of times when keys are just background, as my playing is mostly now... But as a novice, I had not suffered it by myself. Now I know how it feels 🤨

 

Jose

The last band I was in, the band leader came up to me on stage and quietly said "The other band members can't hear you, maybe you can turn up a bit?"

I was the lead guitarist. The bass, drums and acoustic guitar were thundering - I'm done with that crap. I didn't say anything, turned up a tiny bit and got through the gig. 

I resigned from that band almost a year ago, I don't miss my ears ringing. If the PA is doing the work there is no reason for the instruments to be so loud. 

In this case, the drummer has the latest and greatest super loud rock drums and even playing them softly is thunder-thumping. No more drummers, I want to find a percussionist that keeps their volume down. Cajon is good for that, just for one thing. 

[stoken6]

9 hours ago, KuruPrionz said:

No more drummers, I want to find a percussionist that keeps their volume down. 

The greatest drummer I worked with was like that. Every stroke was like a caress, or a line of paint with a brush. But also tremendous groove and sense of time.

 

He went for lessons recently and was told to hit'em harder!

 

Cheers, Mike.

[KuruPrionz]

2 hours ago, stoken6 said:

The greatest drummer I worked with was like that. Every stroke was like a caress, or a line of paint with a brush. But also tremendous groove and sense of time.

 

He went for lessons recently and was told to hit'em harder!

 

Cheers, Mike.

I've played with drummers that understood that loud is only one small part of playing music. 

A great drummer/percussionist can lay down a groove on a cardboard box, it comes from the soul. 

The trick is getting talent to be in a project, the talent is out there. 

[HammondDave]

On 9/16/2022 at 8:10 PM, Tom Williams said:

On 9/16/2022 at 8:31 PM, wineandkeyz said:

Indeed.

Update: there's no winning sometimes.  Our singer (2) has reportedly started dinging me on FB, since I am so "suddenly" quitting.  (remember kids: I gave them four months' notice.)

Even though the singer and I have locked horns occasionally during practice, I have never referred to her in any sense other than to offer the highest praise. 

 

On the upside, she spared me the embarrassment of reading her facebook-based nastiness directly by by first (1) unfriending me and my wife. 

 

She also (3) texted today that "Since Tom's quitting, I am canceling the [mid-October] gig."   After getting feedback from the rest of the band, she decided not to unilaterally cancel the October gig.  

 

I guess the wisdom of leaving this band has been reaffirmed. 
 

 

 

 

 

[Reezekeys]

Ask Amy!

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2022/09/30/ask-amy-band-retire-gig/

 

Apologies if anyone can't access this, the Washington Post is a paper I subscribe to; most will let non-subscribers read a few articles for free. I got a chuckle out of Adam Felber's response (quoted by Amy in her answer).

[xKnuckles]

11 hours ago, Reezekeys said:

Ask Amy!

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2022/09/30/ask-amy-band-retire-gig/

 

Apologies if anyone can't access this, the Washington Post is a paper I subscribe to; most will let non-subscribers read a few articles for free. I got a chuckle out of Adam Felber's response (quoted by Amy in her answer).

Hilarious!!!

[McHale]

While putting together my current band I was going through emails looking for old set lists and I saw the final exchange before I quit my last longtime band.  It was a doozy.  

I was the only one in the band with a fulltime job and the bass player who booked the shows assumed I could just leave work whenever the band needed me to it if he begged hard enough.  He booked a show to start an hour after I get off work, I lived more than an hour away from the gig, and there was rush hour traffic to contend with on a Friday night.  We had an agreement as a band that we would not book shows during specific times of day.  Regardless, he did it all the time.  When he proposed this last gig I offered him 3 options: 1. Say we'll start as soon as I get there and I'll get there as soon as I can 2. play without me 3. cancel the gig.  He confirmed the gig and he and the rest of the band members badgered me to take the day off for days.  When I explained that I couldn't leave early the guitar player responded with "Dooooooood...  it's like you don't even want to be in the band anymore.  What's up with that?!"  That was the final straw and I quit on the spot.  After they couldn't find a replacement after a full year they asked me to come back, promised things were different now, and guaranteed we wouldn't be taking crappy low paying gigs anymore (we'd been together like 15 years and played every major venue in the area, opening for top shelf signed bands or being the main act).  So I went back and our first practice we ran through the entire show.  It was just like I'd never left.  At the 2nd practice I was informed they booked a show for a Thursday afternoon and we'd be making about 40 bucks a piece... and I had to drive 2 hours to get there.  I packed up my gear and walked out without saying a word.  It really was just like I'd never left.  The guitar player (who started the band) left soon after for essentially the same reasons.

As a fun side note, I had to bring my own PA to shows whether or not they provided sound because the bass player needed multiple monitors around the stage so he could "rock pose" wherever he stood.  Keyboard player guy that sings doesn't need a monitor.  

 

[Tom Williams]

Epilogue:

 

We played our final gig this past Friday. 

 

The singer / front lady had shared with the bassist that his playing (which is abysmal) was the primary reason I was leaving the band -- which it was.  But she made sure to tell him I had said that, just before our final gig, despite the fact that everyone else in the band -- herself included -- had privately acknowledged the bassist's incompetence.  (The bassist, to his credit, took the slap with grace.)

 

During the 3-hour gig, singerlady didn't acknowledge my existence to the audience until the final song, not even on the three songs where I sang lead.  She did however laud the guitarist several times -- including on Reelin' in the Years, No TIme, and a few other guitar-oriented songs on which I play(ed) the primary guitar part on keys.  She made it an evening of petty nastiness.

 

End result: three good reasons to quit -- a band-wide uncreative attitude towards covers, a bassist who not only made constant errors, but was somehow unaware that he was making them, and a 45-going-on-15 year old diva.

 

Thanks for sharing & encouragement, all.

[Delaware Dave]

Did my final gig with a group of guys I've been playing with for 20 years.  The guitar player's rig has been down in my basement for 20 years as we use to practice at my house.  As time went on he bought new equipment and his old equipment became a permanent fixture in my basement.  This past Saturday he came by to pick it up, said our goodbyes and moved on (still a good friend of mine). Sunday morning he text me at 11:15 and asks if I could do a gig at 2PM.  😲  Glad to be moving along .....

 

@TomWilliams, when I did my final gig there was no acknowledgment whatsoever of me leaving.  20 years playing with these guys and they acted like it was just another gig.  So I quietly packed up my rig, loaded it into my car and drove off while the rest of them had huddled up to chit chat.   

[stoken6]

11 hours ago, Tom Williams said:

singerlady didn't acknowledge my existence to the audience until the final song, not even on the three songs where I sang lead.  She did however laud the guitarist several times -- including on Reelin' in the Years, No TIme, and a few other guitar-oriented songs on which I play(ed) the primary guitar part on keys.

This is the equivalent of the camera following the guitar player during a keyboard solo/feature. 

 

Cheers, Mike.

[Threadslayer]

1 hour ago, stoken6 said:

This is the equivalent of the camera following the guitar player during a keyboard solo/feature. 

 

Cheers, Mike.

Apparently, videographers see the world differently than keyboardists. I had this brought home to me the other day at work. The marketing guys showed up in my lab and asked me to fiddle with something on the bench for a promo vid. At one point the camera guy said "don't move" so I froze. Then he complained "you're just standing there like a wooden Indian."

[Theo Verelst]

You can't afford to be classy with certain people, isn't it? You could be Jimmi F*ing Hendrix and some band members will still regard only how much power over people they can get with their band membership.

 

It's hard if you're not James Joyce to make certain things clear that people are into. If your band members are not very smart and don't live up to your decorum, no method is going to look good

 

Y

[OB Dave]

Apropos of all the talk about excessive volume.... 

 

I got my hearing checked on Tuesday. I have noticed that since quitting playing music regularly my tinnitus seems to have gotten better.  Test consisted of three phases - listening for tones in each ear independently at half-octave intervals from 250 Hz to 8 kHz; listening to speech and repeating back what was heard; and a Hearing In Noise Test (HINT) where the speech comprehension test is accompanied with an increasing level of cocktail-party background noise. 

 

I actually did pretty well. I have some hearing loss at 4 kHz. My left ear is still within normal range, right ear is slightly below normal. Speech comprehension was scored at 100%