Michael Wright Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Recently at an open stage where I have only been bringing my C2, guest guitar player yells "piano solo!" Quote "I cried when I wrote this song Sue me if I play too long" Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff7b9 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 During a blues gig, a fill in bass player comes in a half step off... it was some Albert King song, and a long time ago We all tell him the key it is in, but he keeps playing in the wrong key trying to tell us to switch (to his wrong key). We gave him the cut out signal, and I played LH bass on the tune. So we ask him, what in the fuck were you doing on that song? He says "the original version is in A" (or whatever, I forget) To which we reply, well that's cute and all, but we play the Albert King Version in Bb, which was on the CD and what we told you, you are sitting in with us and you therefore.. HAVE TO PLAY IN THE SAME KEY AS THE REST OF THE BAND. He insisted we should all have changed keys because he apparently couldn't move his fingers up/down one fret and play the song..... I personally requested to fire the guy, which I did, and enjoyed. Quote Toys: Hammond SK1, Yamaha Motif ES6, Voce V5+, Virus ti 61, Mason & Hamlin upright, Everett upright, Hammond M3, Korg CX3 analog, Motion Sound Pro145, QSC K10, H&K Rotosphere.. etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dgas Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 OK maybe not the craziest but memorable nonetheless. Long ago we played a gig at a bar in the Vermont back country; I couldn't believe my good fortune to have found parking right next to the entry door. Easy load-in/load out. Shortly after unloading the gear, the doorman/bouncer kindly suggested that I move the van as it would likly become a puke magnet by patrons stumbling out the door later in the evening. I did move the vehicle & sure enough, later that evening a car in the same spot hopefully had a good wash the next day. A well informed doorman, I'd say. Bit of a dive joint but hey, even these can be interesting gigs in a twisted sort of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Wright Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Played a country bar in London Ont years ago. I went outside on the Mon morning after doing day one......the Sunday matinee. The go to guy was washing the sidewalk of blood. I was quite surprised when he said it was a one ambulance night. Apparently the measure of a band was how many ambulances came to the bar. On Saturday night we had three so I guess we were okay. Scary Quote "I cried when I wrote this song Sue me if I play too long" Walter Becker Donald Fagan 1977 Deacon Blues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phred Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 The puke car story reminded me of a story - not as good but funny none the less. It was after a gig and I had just loaded up my car, and got in to go home. I have an suv with tinted windows. I am sitting in the driver's seat, with the engine idling , and before I go I check my email on my phone. While I doing that I see a super drunk patron wander over to my car and begin to piss on it!! He couldn't see me, and probably thought that the car was empty (too drunk to notice that the car was running). It appeared that he was pissing on my back tire. Anyway, in one quick motion, I learn on the horn and pull away quickly. Piss flies everywhere and the guy startles backwards. Quote I'm just saying', everyone that confuses correlation with causation eventually ends up dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HammondDave Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 "My girlfriend and I would like you to spend the night with us...". After decades of playing I actually heard those words... I say quit while you're ahead.... Quote '55 and '59 B3's; Leslies 147, 122, 21H; MODX 7+; NUMA Piano X 88; Motif XS7; Mellotrons M300 and M400’s; Wurlitzer 206; Gibson G101; Vox Continental; Mojo 61; Launchkey 88 Mk III; Korg Module; B3X; Model D6; Moog Model D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Paxton Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 "My girlfriend and I would like you to spend the night with us...". After decades of playing I actually heard those words... From a man or a woman? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HammondDave Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Actually she was a woman... They both proved to be.... Quote '55 and '59 B3's; Leslies 147, 122, 21H; MODX 7+; NUMA Piano X 88; Motif XS7; Mellotrons M300 and M400’s; Wurlitzer 206; Gibson G101; Vox Continental; Mojo 61; Launchkey 88 Mk III; Korg Module; B3X; Model D6; Moog Model D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Has anybody noticed how after the gig, people tend to congregate at the door when you try to lug your gear outside ? Absolutely +1 on this one. It doesn't matter how many items of heavy equipment you come through with and you ask: "Please excuse us while we load the gear out" etc, by the time you come back with the next bit, the exit is blocked again. Quote Studio: Yamaha P515 | Yamaha Tyros 5 | Yamaha HX1 | Moog Sub 37 Road: Yamaha YC88 | Nord Electro 5D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Paxton Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Has anybody noticed how after the gig, people tend to congregate at the door when you try to lug your gear outside ? Absolutely +1 on this one. It doesn't matter how many items of heavy equipment you come through with and you ask: "Please excuse us while we load the gear out" etc, by the time you come back with the next bit, the exit is blocked again. This just happened to me earlier tonight. And who do you suppose was blocking the door? Two drummers. Yes, really. On my third trip through I finally said, "You know there's a special place in hell for people who stand in doorways," and they got the hint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Nightime Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Has anybody noticed how after the gig, people tend to congregate at the door when you try to lug your gear outside ? Absolutely +1 on this one. It doesn't matter how many items of heavy equipment you come through with and you ask: "Please excuse us while we load the gear out" etc, by the time you come back with the next bit, the exit is blocked again. And when you ask them to move, they'll slide over maybe 1/2 inch, and look at you like you're an ass just asking them to move. My favorite is where you say "Excuse Me" in an increasingly louder voice, until one of their buddies grab them and move them, and they look at you like they hadn't heard a thing. And I've got one of those voices that can be heard a block away. Quote "In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome. So God helped him and created woman. Now everybody's got the blues." Willie Dixon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffLearman Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Just sit down at the piano, & start to play, & it incites a certain # of people to start spewing their own agressive weirdness, at you. Someone told me once that a lot of them are "jealous".....Well, I'm not sure what's worse: that guy, or the large woman of a certain age and shrill voice who sidles up bright-eyed asking "Can you play SHOW TUNES?" Then there's the endless stupid comments & questions that people make if you even TELL them you're a musician--so I generally don't. I just play the piano, and leave it up to them to realize that I'm not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff7b9 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 "I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..." said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc211/MagePictures/Weapons/629DXL1.jpg Quote Toys: Hammond SK1, Yamaha Motif ES6, Voce V5+, Virus ti 61, Mason & Hamlin upright, Everett upright, Hammond M3, Korg CX3 analog, Motion Sound Pro145, QSC K10, H&K Rotosphere.. etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blong5150 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I was in a music store playing some synth a LONG time ago. This guy walks up to me and says (In my best Randy Jackson voice)... "Yo yo man... I ain't never heard nuttin' like dat before. You should be professional and stuff... You know, I'm a musician too." I replied "Really, what do you play?" He says... "Yo man... I play the turntable". I still don't know how I kept a straight face! Quote Roland Jupiter 80, Roland FA-08, Yamaha MOXF6, Nektar Impact LX61, Macbook Air Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Beaumont Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I had a guy walk up and say he was a manager for several big names and he would like to promote us. I recognized him as a cook in the local Waffle House! Quote Boards: Kurzweil SP-6, Roland FA-08, VR-09, DeepMind 12 Modules: Korg Radias, Roland D-05, Bk7-m & Sonic Cell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonysounds Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 "I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..." said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc211/MagePictures/Weapons/629DXL1.jpg It's at that point that I turn my camera phone on and start recording proceedings... "Now, what was that you were saying?" Quote Hitting "Play" does NOT constitute live performance. -Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonysounds Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I was in a music store playing some synth a LONG time ago. This guy walks up to me and says (In my best Randy Jackson voice)... "Yo yo man... I ain't never heard nuttin' like dat before. You should be professional and stuff... You know, I'm a musician too." I replied "Really, what do you play?" He says... "Yo man... I play the turntable". Correct response: Yo, Dawg, listen. (shake head ruefully side to side and give that laugh that can only indicate pity) No. Its just a big NO for me. Quote Hitting "Play" does NOT constitute live performance. -Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Weiser Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Funniest thing I ever heard said to a musician after a set (it was the band opening for us)... "Man I liked what you guys were trying to do up there." Best thing I've ever seen uttered on stage (a friend's band)... Female singer introducing a song: "This next number, Mustang Sally, is by The Commitments...." Then interrupted by the male singer who angrily whispers a tirade into her ear, followed by a correction: "Oh actually this song was written by Wilson Pickettfool". [i know the song wasn't written by Pickett but the story still rocks my world.] Quote https://www.theboywhowantedtorock.com http://www.weisersound.com https://www.facebook.com/weisersound Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousInvent Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Extremely intoxicated old guy at a bar - When I saw you were old guys, like me, I figured youd be pretty goodor that youve been sucking for a long time. Quote Anonymous Inventions http://www.anonymousinventions.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff7b9 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 "I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..." said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc211/MagePictures/Weapons/629DXL1.jpg It's at that point that I turn my camera phone on and start recording proceedings... "Now, what was that you were saying?" ....ok Quote Toys: Hammond SK1, Yamaha Motif ES6, Voce V5+, Virus ti 61, Mason & Hamlin upright, Everett upright, Hammond M3, Korg CX3 analog, Motion Sound Pro145, QSC K10, H&K Rotosphere.. etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousInvent Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I was in a band that opened for Jerry Lee Lewis at Roof Garden Ballroom in Iowa circa 1970. Mr. Lewis had played a a lot of country tunes and the manager went to the stage and asked him to play more rock & roll because that's what the crowd wanted to hear. Mr. Lewis leaned into the mike and said "Anyone who doesn't like country music can just have a damned heart attack." and proceeded to play another country tune. Quote Anonymous Inventions http://www.anonymousinventions.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonysounds Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 "I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..." said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc211/MagePictures/Weapons/629DXL1.jpg It's at that point that I turn my camera phone on and start recording proceedings... "Now, what was that you were saying?" ....ok You don't know me, but trust me, I AM that guy. If there were any question that he would actually USE that gun, I wouldn't be playing there, and he likely wouldn't have put it on the table. Nobody plays their trump card on the first hand. Quote Hitting "Play" does NOT constitute live performance. -Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Then there's the endless stupid comments & questions that people make if you even TELL them you're a musician--so I generally don't. I just play the piano, and leave it up to them to realize that I'm not. Quote A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Muscara Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Featured in the "Keyboard Community" section of the latest Key News from Keyboard Mag "Whats the craziest thing someone ever said to you at a gig? (Some posts NSFW.)" Quote "I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck "The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morrislives Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 OK, here's my submission... Many years ago, I was playing a Bar Mitzvah at a beautiful, swanky hotel resort overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Southern California. Beautiful sunset, vibes were great, and plenty of beautiful women all about. We were the "cocktail music" portion before we switched over to the full-band classic rock/pop sets later on, so it was just me on keys with a KILLER saxophonist (who's actually very well-known now but shall remain nameless). The tune we were playing was a fairly difficult Miles Davis tune which I was trying to sight read. After the song is over, this cigar-chomping, 5-foot Ernest Borgnine look-alike walks up to the saxophonist and says (within earshot of the microphone), "You're GREAT!! I've never heard anyone as good as you!" He then turns to me, takes his cigar out of his mouth, points it right in my face and blurts out LOUDLY, "And YOU...you SUCK!" Needless to say, my mojo was totally destroyed that evening and I'm still traumatized after all these years. Quote Yamaha S90XS, Moog Voyager Select, Roland JD-800 (MIDI'd to JD-990 Super JD), Korg CX-3, Yamaha YC-45D, QSC K12. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clpete Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I was playing my first gig with a band on Saturday. The stone sober drummer comes up to me after the 1st set and says I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed playing with you. Youre great. I wanted to tell you because it may be the last time we play together.With that he headed to the bar and started drinking heavily and didnt stop. He got fired after the 4th set. Maybe hes just not a quitter. Quote We play for free. We get paid to set up and tear down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle ggurl Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Crazy stuff, guys! I don't really have stories that compare, but there was the gig where some guy, a friend of one of the band members, was introduced to me. He had a brown paper bag with booze he smuggled into the bar ... So that's a red flag ... He takes my hand and acts like he's gonna kiss it (which I wasn't into) but LICKS it instead. Gross! I let loose with some angry words and caustic sarcasm that I'm sure mostly went over his head (figuratively and literally; and I'm pretty short, so ...). Then there were a few drunken marriage proposals (mostly while playing in the same band, same bar, different nights -- don't miss those days). But the oddest reactions had to be a couple times when women would come up to me after the band's set and say something like, "you're the keyboard player? Omigod, you are SUCH a BITCH!" Looking at me like she wants to start a fight, the woman quickly adds, "what I mean is, you are SO GOOD!!" Um, OK. Thank you? Had that happen twice, two different cities (and presumably different women). But those are past bands. These days, things seem relatively urbane and polite. I much prefer it this way, lol. Quote Original Latin Jazz CD Baby "I am not certain how original my contribution to music is as I am obviously an amateur." Patti Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksoper Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 "I know we were supposed to pay you more, but here you go..." said the owner of Melodies Bar in LA.... right after he put his GUN on the table http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc211/MagePictures/Weapons/629DXL1.jpg Been there. Well, not that bar exactly, but a similar situation. I was playing a South Jersey lounge and the owner had just gotten out of jail. Our last night was his coming home party. Bandleader went to get paid and got shorted and pointed at. Quote 9 Moog things, 3 Roland things, 2 Hammond things and a computer with stuff on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slivermoon Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 Playing a festival gig outdoors with an R&B Funk group. After the first few tunes our two female singers took the stage. Some guy hollers out "Git them panties off!" It went downhill from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stillplaying Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 19th Hole Carnoustie (Hotel bar) - last Saturday night after the gig. Our young (19 and 21) cool tall skinny charismatic front men (vocals/guitars) were signing young girls bodies with marker pens. Not breasts - arms, shoulders, just above the bra strap - nothing that rock and roll or smutty. We'd just played Beautiful by One Direction and a crowd of them mobbed the lads at the end. Our drummer (my height - not tall, my build -not skinny, my age - not young) shouts over to me - "do you remember when the drummers used to get all the girls back in the 80s? It's all changed and now they all want the singer." What? When? Quote I'm the piano player "off of" Borrowed Books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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