JeffLearman Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Originally posted by StillFightingIt: (after a big saxophone solo, song finishes and the bar goes quite, drunk guy yells) "With fingers like that all the ladies here will want to take you home!" Proper response: "Hey, the fingers are the EASY part!" (Let the ladies in the audience figure out where your real talents lie.) About the money or the girl -- well, I'm going home to my wife anyway, so I'd take the money! On the other hand, I sure don't remember every $1000 I've earned. I do remember every girl, but then 2 is kind of an easy number ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Landrum Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 The best story I can provide is when I got flashed while singing karaoke. Sorry. Quote Darren Landrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Landrum Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Originally posted by LesMizzell: I was playing with a pretty slamming 8 piece funk group. We got booked for the Jr/Sr for a private school in Orangeburg, SC (School isn't there anymore). We showed up, set up the gear, and did our sound check. We hit the stage right on time - and before we played our first note the headmaster of the school comes up, points at our drummer and ask "What's that black guy doing up there?" "Playing the funkiest drums you're gonna hear this year. Why?" "Sorry, this is a private all-white school. We don't allow any blacks." "You hired us. You had the press kit. These kids don't care, they just want to dance. What's the problem?" "Sorry, you're not playing." "That's just wrong. You're going to ruin this Jr/Sr because *you've* got a problem? Look at the kids out there. They're ready to get down! Besides, we've got a contract with your signature on it that says you're paying $2500. You're not going to stiff us. We've got legal grounds here if you want to push this. Just let us do the gig. Won't be any problems." "I'll pay. Just get the hell out of my school". ... and he hands us an envelope with our cash in it as we start packing. The students almost rioted. What an idiot. That one is just about making me sick. "Just about" only because I've seen it before myself. Quote Darren Landrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cnegrad Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Unbelievable in this day and age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Mizzell Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Originally posted by StillFightingIt: I can't believe he'd not let you play. How long ago was that? O man, showing my age, uhhh, 1970's. Yea, somewhere in there.... Quote Les Mizzell ---------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverDragonSoun Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 I can add an interesting story. Many years ago at a party where our band played, I slept with a girl I met after the show. The next morning we're getting up and she sees me playing my keyboard, she says I thought you were the guitarist, and says no offense to you butthat's who I wanted to sleep with, to which I repied, that's ok I wanted to sleep with your friend instead of you, so I guess that makes us even. She then went to find her friend so she could leave, only to find her friend in bed with our guitarist. Keep in mind I was only 18, dumb, young and full of cum. Quote Begin the day with a friendly voice A companion, unobtrusive - Rush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted September 7, 2006 Author Share Posted September 7, 2006 Originally posted by The Real MC: Originally posted by stepay: I was prepared this time...no bra. Never had an audience member do that before. You gotta be kidding. You haven't been gigging long enough if you haven't been flashed. That happened at a lot of gigs I played, my first flash was when I was 19, scarred me for life Definitely NOT kidding. I gigged a lot as a 20-something on the blues circuit in the SF Bay Area -- never a flasher. I've been back at it since February 2005 2-5 gigs a month since then (with a month off here and there) and this was the first time I've been flashed. Maybe it's because we mainly play blues. I am 40 now after all and our crowds aren't usually youngish except for a couple of college bars we play in. This was a first for me. I've been asked to go home with women, saw a hooker pull her pants down to show a guy and then they left together, but I've never before been flashed. Quote Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 At a gig I did a few weeks ago, during soundcheck - soundman: Are the keyboards really necessary to the band's sound? Quote A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Mizzell Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 You haven't been gigging long enough if you haven't been flashed.I'll go one better.... Yet another band I was in took a gig in Jacksonville, NC. I was still underage at the time. We knew nothing about the club except they were putting us up in a nice hotel, covering all expenses and paying pretty good money too. We made the drive to Jacksonville in plenty of time to get to the club early, set up the gear and even rehearse a few numbers before going to the hotel to get a shower and rest. Drove back to the club, walked in through the stage entrance - and it was TOPLESS!!! - with Go Go dancers on either side of the stage!! Our poor (?) sound guy had to spend the entire night looking between some girls legs to see the stage. For the first hour, I probably hit more wrong notes than the entire previous year. Then it started getting like, "OK, breasts - so what?". I hardly even noticed the second night we were there. We talked to a couple of the girls backstage during a break. The club was very strict! They all had to be married, they couldn't associate with the patrons, and were watched like a hawk whenever they were at work. Patrons were strictly forbidden to even *think* about touching them, and the bouncers that worked the rowdy military crowd were more capable of turning even the toughest guy that got out of line into hamburger. All the girls had full health benefits, including dental, and were making anywhere between $1500 and $2000 PER WEEK. Sheesh, I wish! One of the girls we talked to was finishing up medical school and said that even after she graduated that she was going to wait a few years before going into practice as she could make more at the club than working in the hospital. To be honest, this one weekend really shaped my opinion about nudity. It just doesn't seem to be a big thing. OK, nude ... so what??? Most females I know are sexier with something on. Guess I'm just an old-fashioned guy, huh? Quote Les Mizzell ---------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Coury Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Roughly 3 months ago I was playing with a cover band in a small bar, which employed a very friendly waitstaff. It wasn't unusual for some of the ladies to flash customers for tips. Luckily, one night as we were packing up our gear, the boyfriend of the hottest waitress in the place said "come here, honey, show 'em what I bought ya' for Christmas" .... and she walked in front of the stage and showed us the results of an incredible successful implant job. She even counted to 30 to make sure we had an eyeful. And when the singer mentioned he was in the restroom during her "presentation", she happily put on another performance! Quote "Oh yeah, I've got two hands here." (Viv Savage) "Mr. Blu... Mr. Blutarsky: Zero POINT zero." (Dean Vernon Wormer) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sean7788 Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 To the whole band: "Y'all can sign my boobs" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Ed, I just wanted you all to see how generious I can be when I want to..... Quote Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted September 7, 2006 Author Share Posted September 7, 2006 Seems like for me if the law of averages catches up to me, I should be seeing lots more bare breasts soon. My motto there is once you've seen one, you want to see more. Quote Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Originally posted by stepay: Seems like for me if the law of averages catches up to me, I should be seeing lots more bare breasts soon. My motto there is once you've seen one, you want to see more. I've never seen just one. Quote Botch In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is bacteria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Landrum Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=519 Quote Darren Landrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightyTonewheel Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 I play B3 at a weekly jam at a well-known blues bar. The jam host creates a list of jammers and chooses names off a list for each three-song set. Somehow, a short, scrawny woman on an exceptionally horrifying coke trip wound up on the list as a singer, then eventually on stage with us. It slowly became obvious to the band and the bar-goers that this was not going to go well. I suppose my bandmates were hoping this could be some sort of Janis Joplin kind of thing, but no. We launched into a twelve bar shuffle, and she launched into screeching, twisting, and incoherent howling. We stopped after twelve bars, she continued. She crawled on the organ, then the bar, and took off with the wireless mic. The drummer yelled over to me: "Hey, Green Onions in G, and hurry." Quote http://www.myspace.com/mightytonewheel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 The drummer yelled over to me: "Hey, Green Onions in G, and hurry." Quote Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moog_Man Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Why do you need TWO keyboards? and Can I play your fender rhodes? when hell freezes over buddy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate stubb Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Originally posted by MightyTonewheel: The drummer yelled over to me: "Hey, Green Onions in G, and hurry." Trust a drummer to call a classic organ tune in the wrong key. Quote Moe --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real MC Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Maybe his cowbell was tuned to a G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 Originally posted by mate_stubb: Originally posted by MightyTonewheel: The drummer yelled over to me: "Hey, Green Onions in G, and hurry." Trust a drummer to call a classic organ tune in the wrong key. Ha! Quote Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz+ Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 dbl post Quote Find 660 of my jazz piano arrangements of standards for educational purposes and tutorials at www.Patreon.com/HarryLikas Harry was the Technical Editor of Mark Levine's "The Jazz Theory Book" and helped develop "The Jazz Piano Book." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 At the aforementioned party we were hired to play blues rock for $1500, in the middle of the first set, a woman walks up to the stage and violently makes the "cut" signal (slashing across her neck). We thought something was wrong (like an emergency) so we quit mid-song. She yells, "No more blues!" Our drummer says, "That's what we were hired to play ma'am." Then back to it. That's a good-paying gig for my band -- we usually make $300-$600 (and at one place that we've been at since the beginning, $250), but we decided we'd never again play for this group (it's an annual party they have). I walked out of there with a decent amount of money, and most of the people did appreciate the music, but they don't pay me enough to have some rich socialite b*tch yell at me to play something different. The guy making announcements couldn't get his microphone to work and then yelled at me about it -- it was a venue-supplied microphone and sound system -- it wasn't our stuff; and then he accused us of smoking dope! -- as in "why can't you guys fix this mocrophone -- what, are you so fried from smoking pot?! This was definitely a group of people who thought of us as lowly service people to walk on (not that service people are lowly -- just that they think they are). They all definitely made us feel like second-class citizens. Oh, and the bitchy socialite? She was dancing to the music the rest of the night just a few songs later. Oh, regarding the pot smoking comment, our bass player is a lawyer and wouldn't do that, I've never smoked pot in my life, our drummer is as clean as they come and doesn't even drink alcohol, and our lead guitarist is a college professor (not that college professors don't smoke dope, but that's not what we're all about). Ironically (and very funny to me) is that one of the buddies of this guy was caught smoking pot by university police (was a campus alumni gig) that night. Never again playing for that group. Quote Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Originally posted by stepay: Never again playing for that group. That's sad, but it's happened to me a few times over the years. Back when I lived in Albuquerque we were hired to play a country-western dance for a rodeo. They had a nice dinner set up in the hotel for the participants, and because of scheduling we had to set up while they were having their dinner. No problem, we loaded in as quietly as we could, hooked everything up, then everyone quickly played ONE note on their instruments/mics to make sure everything was hooked up properly. Well, the one guy was just LOOKING for something to bitch about, he came running up and yelled, "We're EATING!!! Why are you playing now!!!??!?!?" The gentleman running the dinner took him aside and explained that because of the scheduling we had to set up during the dinner, but he kept grousing loud enough for everyone to hear (and causing much more of a disturbance than we did. Well, he had one of those "Hello, my name is: Mr. Butt-Head" nametags on. After we set up and retired to the lobby until the dance was to start, I walked up to the front desk and said, "Hello, we've got a long drive back tomorrow morning, could I please get a wakeup call at 3:30?" "Why certainly, may I see your room key?" I reached in my pocket, and said, "Oh, my wife has the key, hang on just a minute" and started to walk towards the hall. "Never mind sir, what's your name?" "Mr. Butthead. Thank you very much!" The guys in the band did an admirable job of suppressing the snickers... Quote Botch In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is bacteria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 Botch, Man that's hilarious. Sounds like this guy deserved it. Quote Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon May Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Originally posted by RABid: "You know I always loved you." ...During a break she walked up on the stage, reached across the Hammond to grab me by the collar and pull me close, and then said those frightening words before planting a big kiss on the lips... Robert You have a Hammond?! Actually, that is a cool story. I had an "Awwww" moment ! Quote "I'm well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leberwurst Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 wow guys...definitely the best thread in this whole forum ;-)! once I was playing nothing but jazz tunes at a summer party (for two hours or so) when a girl walked up to me and asked me if I could please play "for elise" ... Quote The Dromb Bopper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyote Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Yeah, that's usually an awkward situation. lol Originally posted by RABid: "You know I always loved you." Spoken by the girl next door from my childhood. I was playing a bar out of state and she happened to be there with a group of her friends. During a break she walked up on the stage, reached across the Hammond to grab me by the collar and pull me close, and then said those frightening words before planting a big kiss on the lips. The band thought it was funny. The girl I had taken to the job was not amused. Robert Quote I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist. This ain't no track meet; this is football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonglow Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Originally posted by coyote: Yeah, that's usually an awkward situation. lol Originally posted by RABid: "You know I always loved you." Spoken by the girl next door from my childhood. I was playing a bar out of state and she happened to be there with a group of her friends. During a break she walked up on the stage, reached across the Hammond to grab me by the collar and pull me close, and then said those frightening words before planting a big kiss on the lips. The band thought it was funny. The girl I had taken to the job was not amused. Robert .....and why do things like this never seem to occur when you DON'T have your girl with you at the job? Quote "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyote Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Because women are incredibly competitive. Originally posted by Moonglow: .....and why do things like this never seem to occur when you DON'T have your girl with you at the job? And also because your own confidence is high when a pretty lady accompanies you, and the others are drawn to it. Nothing gets you women like having one! Quote I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist. This ain't no track meet; this is football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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