analogika Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Q: What's the difference between a bassoon, played in "forte", and a bassoon, played in "piano"? A: Bassoon, forte: "PFÄÄÄÄÄÄP!!!" Bassoon, piano: "pfrpffPFÄÄÄÄÄÄP!!!"" 1 Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipeb3 Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Q: How do you keep a drummer busy all day? A: Click here 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Williams Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 This one came to me right after taking a pain pill. A church organist goes into a bar. "I'd like a large bourdon, please." Quote -Tom Williams {First Name} {at} AirNetworking {dot} com PC4-7, PX-5S, AX-Edge, PC361 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anderton Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 Q: How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to screwn in a lightbulb? [text below is white, highlight to see the answer] A: None. They declare "dark" as the standard. 1 Quote Craig Anderton Educational site: http://www.craiganderton.org Music: http://www.youtube.com/thecraiganderton Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/craig_anderton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 2 hours ago, Anderton said: Q: How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to screwn in a lightbulb? [text below is white, highlight to see the answer] A: None. They declare "dark" as the standard. Joke's on you: my forum display is on "dark" as the standard, so the punchline showed up just fine… 1 Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three - one to change the bulb, and two to write a song about the old bulb. dB 1 Quote ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jwave Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 Q: How many keyboard players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ten. One to do it, and nine to complain that the harsh electronic glare of the LED is no substitute for the warm analog glow of the original. 3 Quote Kurzweil PC4, Expressive E Osmose, UNO Synth Pro, Hammond B-3X on iPad, Rhodes Mark II Stage 73, ART 710-A MK4s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artomas Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 Q: How many K-pop producers does it take to change a light bulb? A: What? I just changed it yesterday! Why are there 20 people here? A: 1 to change the light bulb, and 19 to write a song about the new one's baggy baggy baggy baggy baggy baggy jeans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenWaB3 Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 1 hour ago, Jwave said: Q: How many keyboard players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ten. One to do it, and nine to complain that the harsh electronic glare of the LED is no substitute for the warm analog glow of the original. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None - the keyboard player can do it with his left hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESFlash Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 What do you call a girl on the arm of sax player? --------------------------- a tattoo Why are drummer jokes so simple? ---------------------------------- so bass players will understand them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KuruPrionz Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 How do you get a keyboard player off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza. 2 Quote It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bill5 Posted August 31, 2023 Author Share Posted August 31, 2023 I would personally replace "keyboard player" with "jazz musician" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KuruPrionz Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 5 minutes ago, bill5 said: I would personally replace "keyboard player" with "jazz musician" I just figured the keyboard corner needed a keyboard player joke. No mercy, life is cruel and harsh... 🤣 1 Quote It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 23 hours ago, bill5 said: I would personally replace "keyboard player" with "jazz musician" Q: What did the rock musician say to the jazz musician? A: "Take me to the airport!" 1 Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 Q: How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One to hold up the bulb and have the world revolve around them. Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESFlash Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 how many chick singers does it take to sing Crazy??????? ............. all of em what do song writers use for birthcontrol ?????? ...... their personality 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESFlash Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 One more ... Stage hand to Sound Petson.... asking: "Why do soundguys always go:'testing teting, one two, one two, one two' ??????????? .......... cause on three you lift!!!!! And one more:::::: What's the difference btwn a sound man and a toilet seat ...... ????? ..... a toilet seat only has to take sh....t from one a.....hole at a time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthaholic Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 On 2/8/2023 at 2:57 PM, MathOfInsects said: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the keyboard player can do it better with his left hand. How many rock guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? Five - one to do it and four to stand around thinking "I can do that". Quote The fact there's a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers People only say "It's a free country" when they're doing something shitty-Demetri Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthaholic Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 On 2/8/2023 at 8:35 PM, BenWaB3 said: Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four - One to change the bulb and the other three to stand there and say, "I can do that". Oops, someone beat me to it. Quote The fact there's a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers People only say "It's a free country" when they're doing something shitty-Demetri Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George88 Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 What did the banjo player say after his honeymoon? ”I think I could have had sex with her!” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunspot Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 What do you call a drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless. 1 Quote The Players: OB-X8, Numa Compact 2X, Kawai K5000S, cheap Korean guitars/basses, Roland TD-1KV e-drums. Eurorack/Banana modular, Synth/FX DIY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenWaB3 Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 3 hours ago, Synthaholic said: How many rock guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? Five - one to do it and four to stand around thinking "I can do that". Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five - one to change the bulb and the other four to talk about how Dave Weckl would have done it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 Slightly OT because of al the lightbulb jokes: Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but the bulb really has to want to change. dB 3 Quote ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bill5 Posted September 2, 2023 Author Share Posted September 2, 2023 I'd report you for that if you weren't an admin. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksoper Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 Q: How many people does it take to produce a Nashville recording? A: I don't know, what do you think? 1 1 Quote 9 Moog things, 3 Roland things, 2 Hammond things and a computer with stuff on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coker Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 What’s the definition of a minor second? Two french horns playing in unison. 1 Quote CA93, MODX8, YC88, K8.2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightbg Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 A baby bunny and a baby snake are tunneling underground and meet face to face. “What are you?”, they both ask. The snake goes first. “You have long white ears, a pink nose and a fuzzy tail - you must be a bunny”. The bunny replies “You have squinty eyes, scaly skin, and a forked tongue - you must be a business agent”. Quote 1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP "It needs a Hammond" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 13 hours ago, Coker said: What’s the definition of a minor second? Two french horns playing in unison. I heard this attributed to Ligeti, but I doubt it: What's worse than the sound of one recorder playing? Two recorders, unisono. Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksoper Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 Q: What has three legs and a d*ck? A: A drum throne. 2 Quote 9 Moog things, 3 Roland things, 2 Hammond things and a computer with stuff on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenWaB3 Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 Q: What's the definition of relative minor? A: The guitar player's girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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