Is there a word (phobia) for a fear of recording yourself?

[Krakit]

I have the hardest time getting off the dime to record myself. It seems that whenever I roll tape (or shred bits) my performance tanks. I can play on stage just fine but the anxiety I get from playing where it can be forever captured warts and all makes me flub.

 

There a word for that?

[mate stubb]

Veritasophobia?

[Docbop]

Red Light Fever

 

I have it for taking lessons.    I can have everything down then get in my lesson and it all disappears from my head and my fingers are like rubber. 

 

[Mills Dude]

Recording yourself is like standing in front of a mirror naked under fluorescent light.  I don't think there's many who would listen back to themselves and think they don't suck.  But its a great way to improve any of aspect of your playing or singing. You just gotta get over that initial "oh god" feeling and keep doing it.  For a while, I always recorded my practice sessions, either on audio or just midi.  Sure I sucked, but I got better.  Occasionally you hear something that sounds good, almost pro level, and it helps to keep you on track.

[ProfD]

Red light fever is it. Getting down to one word we'll call the fear of recording microphonbia.😁😎

[PianoMan51]

Going to come at this from a different angle. 
 

Thinking like a ‘recording engineer’ and thinking like a ‘musical artist’ are two extremely different ways of thinking. And (in my own personal experience) really hard to switch from one to the other. 
 

Even if you have no phobias about recording yourself, you still have to make that shift, and it’s a bear. 

[Bill H.]

2 hours ago, Mills Dude said:

Recording yourself is like standing in front of a mirror naked under fluorescent light.  I don't think there's many who would listen back to themselves and think they don't suck.  But its a great way to improve any of aspect of your playing or singing. You just gotta get over that initial "oh god" feeling and keep doing it.  For a while, I always recorded my practice sessions, either on audio or just midi.  Sure I sucked, but I got better.  Occasionally you hear something that sounds good, almost pro level, and it helps to keep you on track.

There's times when I've been reluctant to record myself because I'm never as good as I think I am. It's just safer mentally to not do it. Of course that gets me nowhere, so these days if I'm rehearsing a part I'll try to record myself most of the time. I don't listen to them all  but if practically everything is getting recorded it lessens the pressure, and makes it easier to go in there and find out what I'm doing right - or wrong. 

[David Emm]

I think its called self-sabotage. That goes triple when you're in your home studio, laying down tracks. Hell, I had to turn the auto feature off in Logic that kept recording new takes. THAT's a tool you could use in this case. It began to annoy my chosen work habit in auto mode, but I turn it on from time to time when I'm SO CLOSE, I know I can ring the bell with a few tries.

 

You're already in the park; don't worry so much! Even if it requires five takes, that fifth one will be your keeper. If you can pull it off live, its mostly a formality to record it. Woodshedding applies to engineers and coders as much as musicians, after a certain point. Practice makes for as near perfection as matters. Keep at it until it becomes reflexive. When was the last time you had to THINK about how to peel a banana?    

[GRollins]

It's performance anxiety. The difference between recording and performing live is that with a recording you know that your mistakes will live on in perpetuity...and that's a scary thought. At least at a gig (assuming there's no one in the audience recording you), your mistakes float away on the breeze, never to return.

 

Grey

[Krakit]

1 hour ago, GRollins said:

It's performance anxiety. The difference between recording and performing live is that with a recording you know that your mistakes will live on in perpetuity...and that's a scary thought. At least at a gig (assuming there's no one in the audience recording you), your mistakes float away on the breeze, never to return.

 

Grey

I feel it the same way. It's like I always think I look better in the mirror than I do in photographs. 

[jazzpiano88]

One of the reasons a lot of musicians never listen to their recordings.

[KuruPrionz]

6 hours ago, PianoMan51 said:

Going to come at this from a different angle. 
 

Thinking like a ‘recording engineer’ and thinking like a ‘musical artist’ are two extremely different ways of thinking. And (in my own personal experience) really hard to switch from one to the other. 
 

Even if you have no phobias about recording yourself, you still have to make that shift, and it’s a bear. 

I call that "The Artist vs The Engineer" and I've gradually come to grips with it. You get much faster at setting things up if you keep doing it. 

You learn which mic you like and where to put it, how to set the gain, etc. That stuff is repeatable and pretty soon you can do it by rote. 

 

That makes it easier to let The Artist have a turn. Red Light Fever will go away if you confront it head on and just keep recording. After a while you just won't give one crap about the fact that the recorder is running, especially if it's YOUR recorder and you can simply not play your boogers for anybody else. 

 

I'd recommend digital over using tape for getting over the anxiety. All it will cost is time but it's time well spent. Eventually you'll be able to lay down respectable tracks quickly. 

Bear in mind that you never hear the boogers anymore on playback, it was pretty common to catch errors back in the 60's. 

[Michael Wright]

hearingmyownvoiceophobia. 

[miden]

Yep, Talent

[o0Ampy0o]

7 hours ago, Krakit said:

I have the hardest time getting off the dime to record myself. It seems that whenever I roll tape (or shred bits) my performance tanks. I can play on stage just fine but the anxiety I get from playing where it can be forever captured warts and all makes me flub.

 

There a word for that?

Problem: Fear of recording self

Solution: Have someone record you

Solution: Record everything every time you play

Solution: Record practicing your part over and over and when you can play it perfectly every time if you mess it up because you are recording it maybe you should just be a live act and not ever record?

 

[Delaware Dave]

Iactuallysuck syndrome?

[Lou Gehrig Charles]

I hear all the plasticy squeaks and creaks my keyboard makes when I record myself; noises I tune out while I am playing.  Easy solution there: I need a better keyboard!

 

[Stokely]

Two different variations on this for me, singing and playing.

For singing, it just takes time to get used to.  Nobody likes hearing their vocal at first!  Now it's no biggie and unless I'm butchering a part I don't have a problem.  I do like to wait until the house is empty though!

Playing, I think it's just that is so "mechanical" to wait for the click and I feel I have to get things so exactly right.  The reality is that I can (and do) fix things up once the midi is recorded so if I can get it close I should be good.   I should probably do more with the "takes" feature in logic so that I can keep the flow moving and record a few times without having to stop/get ready and go.  

[Jose EB5AGV]

I have a different view... I hate when I am playing and find myself in a flowing state, when fingers fly without you really knowing what they are doing, producing beautiful sound... and I am not recording!. This happens mainly with my acoustic piano, because when I play my Kawai VPC1, as it is connected to a PC, I have it recording on Cubase (retrospective recording is a gem) or using a MIDI capture software, which automatically records everything, dividing it on different files if there is more than 5 seconds without playing.

 

So, the solution for your problem, as has already been said, could be to always record your playing. After a while, it won't matter you at all.

[allan_evett]

I eventually got used to it, due especially to a lot of demos and local album recordings in my late teens/early 20's. It was a big plus to have people in the studio - to critique, make suggestions and also offer positive reinforcement. And thankfully that carried over into later recording work, when the stakes became higher - with some paid album gigs and a handful of commercials.

 

Getting comfortable with recording at home has been another story; that's when the 'Not good enough' loop acts up in the head space. I recall a virtual  recording effort in 2020, when I was part of a Patreon group that Matt Rollings was teaching, via Zoom.  We were each given part assignments to contribute audio files to a simple vocal/guitar track written by one of the members. So I worked up a basic Wurli part and sent it in. The next group meeting was enlightening.  My part was described as sounding 'cautious', which hadn't really been the case in past studio recordings. I didn't want to overplay, but ended up doing quite the opposite. The group's consensus was that they wanted to hear more 'personality' to the part. Matt's comment kicked something loose for me, which has been of great benefit: "Just play, man!" 

 

The massive recording phobia I do have is being on video. So much harder to relax and cut loose, but I'd love to learn to do it.  That 'Not good enough' loop is brutal, and sadly appears to be a struggle many of us experience.

[CEB]

Recording was tough when I was young.   Stupid thoughts would hit my brain and I would psych myself out.  Things like : 'These guys are on the clock, I have to get this right the first time'.  or 'Tape is expensive'.  or just random other stupid shit.    I would really simplify my play when being recorded.  This was generally good because I had a tendency to overplay live.  The simpler play was cleaner and often supported the song better.   What was great was being given two takes.  First take play simple and correct and a second shot where I could unwind a little.  

 

The more you do it the less you will try to sabotage yourself with stupid mental shit.

 

Recording myself at home I never had issues with.  Probably due to Dad being a performer and me playing live forever.  I sort of grew up around it.  I had this old tube reel to reel recorder from the 50s or 60s.  My sister and I recorded stuff for fun since we were little kids.

 

The one thing that killed me was my first guitar teacher made me sing a song every week.  I'm not a singer and he was a great vocalist. His R&B band was signed with Columbia in the 60s/ early 70s.  He had a theory that every musician needed to sing because it reinforced the ability to relate pitch to performance.  It was his "ear training."   I hated it.  I was so self-conscious  but he was a great teacher.

[harmonizer]

There are some parallels to auditioning. If you don't audition often, it feels different, and you can tense up, or just simply not follow the same mental process you usually use to perform well. If recording yourself seems like a special occasion, the same thing could happen.

 

The wonderful thing is that if you are recording yourself at a space you control like home (something where you are not paying an hourly fee to use the space), you can take multiple takes. So really it should be less stressful than playing live. If you crash, press Stop, Rewind, and begin again.

 

I had to record a keys part for a 4 minute song that I am making an "isolated" cover video of. The keys part would not be hard for most of you on this forum, who actually know how to play keys. I am a mere keyboard owner. It took me about 20 takes to get it clean. I had no shame about Stop, Rewind, retry.

[tonybanksfan]

Pretty common to make mistakes and screw up when recording, I believe we are in the majority.
Its just our human nature to add pressure to pull off a flawless performance and only repetition can make it easier.

My most common fault is that the longer I play without hitting a bum note, the more pressure there is to keep it perfect, so it almost always comes down to finishing the song off even if I’ve already played the hardest parts. I don’t think I’ve ever recorded myself, listened to it a couple times and decided everything was just how I wanted it. 
Reminds me of a Geddy Lee interview when they were having a tough time recording the Hemispheres album.

They tried endlessly to get La Village Strangiato from start to finish but gave up, in the end they recorded it in three segments. Cool song by the way, one of my old bands played it great.

[KuruPrionz]

Almost everything I record lately is built from tracks and I play (or configure) everything.

I've learned to get a tone and record 3 or 4 tracks on the spot. I might take a break at that point and come back to listen later. 

It's pretty rare that I make the same mistake in the same spot on all of those takes. Since the tones are the same, I just slice out the boo-boo and drop in a better replacement. 

I did that just a couple days ago for a bass part. I played it 4 times but only needed 2 of those takes to get a good result. The edits are inaudible.

Recording at home by yourself can reduce the pressure to "get it right" and in the end you make fewer mistakes because you are not tense. 

[Krakit]

I'm going to explain why I started this thread because I did a very bad job of it from the start. 

 

Every day I fire up my rig and play for at least an hour, completely improvising and sometimes what comes out is my best work. 

It's like some sort of meditation and my playing transcends what I am usually capable of, in technique and composition. 

 

I try to record myself "gleaming the cube" but invariably if I am recording myself I never reach that pinnacle. It's as if the muses are driven off by the mere action of trying to preserve what I am potentially going to do. Reality is that some subconscious part of my mind kills the mood or something. 

 

If I don't record I will often find myself climbing to the very heights of inspiration and my abilities. 

 

It's frustrating and it feels like a mental failing. I want to capture lightning in a bottle and I feel cursed to never achieving this end. 

 

Since the beginning of October I have made a conscious effort to hit record before playing in hopes that by making it a habit I will eventually "get that photo of big foot" and break the curse. But no, still not happening. In these many weeks I have hit my boards during a TV commercial or just "because" and reached that pure creative nirvana but forgot to hit record first. 

 

There is no recapturing the spontaneous bursts after the fact even though I often try. It's just gone. 

 

I've managed to take an audience on such rides on stage but no one was ever recording it and it seems I can't record it either. 

 

Whatever happens to me when I know the red light is on I want to overcome it so that I can get my very best improvisations preserved when  I'm flying close to the sun. 

 

It's like that line from Billy Joel's Rosalinda's Eyes

 

"Hardly anyone has seen how good I am
But Rosalinda says she knows"

 

 

[ProfD]

10 minutes ago, Krakit said:

Whatever happens to me when I know the red light is on I want to overcome it so that I can get my very best improvisations preserved when  I'm flying close to the sun. 

Make sure the red light is nowhere within your line of sight. 

 

Your setup needs to be in such a way that you're secretly recording yourself.

 

Do not be overly critical upon listening to playback of your successfully recorded high flying improvisations. 

 

IOW, playing in the moment feels and sounds great and there is nothing to critique.  Recordings capture everything.😎

[Krakit]

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

Do not be overly critical upon listening to playback of your successfully recorded high flying improvisations.

 

 

 I never listen to the recordings and just record over them each time because I know that there isn't anything worth listening to afterwards. 

 

It's like when I know I'm there I light up and it's unmistakable. I never get that experience when I'm being recorded. 

[Polychrest]

When that metaphorical red light turns on, most of us are afflicted by a kind of musician’s claustrophobia.  We feel constrained, constricted, over-exposed, under-oxegenated.  Our typical response?  Plough through the thing and get out of that uncomfortable space as soon as possible.

 

How to get over that self-imposed pressure?  As the snarky New Yorker said when asked “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” by a lost tourist:  “Practice, practice, practice.”  Unless you’re being paid for your work, you’ve got all the time in the world—unlimited takes—to work on getting comfortable when recording yourself.  Be patient.  Keep at it.  Sooner or later, that disabling self-consciousness will dissipate and the magic will happen for you.  

 

Back in the golden olden analogue days when the record business was awash in money, there wasn’t as much time pressure on established musicians as there is now to lay down the perfect tracks they and their producers wanted.  With almost unlimited access to the studio, hours could turn into days in search of that perfect take.  Making the studio as comfortable a creative environment as possible for old pros as well as novices was an essential prophylactic against red light fever.  Make sure your recording space is comfortable for you:  private, well-equipped, distraction-free.

 

Of course, in the olden days, a gifted engineer with a razor and tape could speed things up considerably by splicing together a perfect composite from a variety of semi-flawed takes.  For us, MIDI manipulation and DAW-comping makes editing our clams a lot easier.  Don’t let playing the perfect take become the enemy of laying down several good ones.  Record lots of takes.  Sometimes it’s in a pile of them where you’ll find the building blocks for that perfect track.

[David Emm]

>> I'm going to explain why I started this thread because I did a very bad job of it from the start.

 

Oh no ye didn't.  

 

>> Every day I fire up my rig and play for at least an hour, completely improvising and sometimes what comes out is my best work.
It's like some sort of meditation and my playing transcends what I am usually capable of, in technique and composition.

 

With you so far. I'm having that experience with the GX-80. Am I "melding" with it well or do I just have Vangelis dust on the brain? TBD. Lesson #2 seems to be "Now play that classic harmonica or bell EP and DON'T sound like Vangelis." Its almost an Oblique Strategies challenge: Play this genre-defining instrument and DON'T think of its #1 legendary player.

 

>> I try to record myself "gleaming the cube" but invariably if I am recording myself I never reach that pinnacle. It's as if the muses are driven off by the mere action of trying to preserve what I am potentially going to do. Reality is that some subconscious part of my mind kills the mood or something.

 

Again, you're further along than you realize; you've been at this long enough to be ASKING this stuff. Big Bird song: "Its so hard to tell what's what or who's who when we're apart." Response: "But you're 8 feet tall and yellow, isn't that a decent start?" I also recommend that you focus on the undeniable benefits of sitting at home in the comfort of your own shorts and simply tweedling. That's how I came to able to briefly fake it live and win a few crowds over.

 

>> If I don't record I will often find myself climbing to the very heights of inspiration and my abilities.

 

Its not unwise to hit Record and THEN play for an hour. I've captured a few of those elusive gremlins that way. The great clown Red Skelton usually barfed a little before every performance, but then he'd stride out and hit the mark. Simply getting on with it can be diverting and sometimes lead where you're trying to go.  
 
>> It's frustrating and it feels like a mental failing.

 

"Mental failings" are a vital part of every musician's kit. Its not a failing, its a process.

 

>> I want to capture lightning in a bottle and I feel cursed to never achieving this end.

 

Just as well. If you did, you'd worry about someone stealing the bottle and then worry about where to find another one in case you got lucky twice.     

 

>> I've managed to take an audience on such rides on stage but no one was ever recording it and it seems I can't record it either.
Whatever happens to me when I know the red light is on I want to overcome it so that I can get my very best improvisations preserved when I'm flying close to the sun.  

 

Its helpful to take some of it philosophically. Being a full-frontal musician requires about 5 different components. I learned that I possessed only 2.5 of them. I have a friend whose keyboard skills make me come across like a chimp, but he moans about having no compositional spark outside of a group. I feel fortunate to be in the compose-in-your-shorts category. Its more comfortable and I can collect softsynths like Gollum.   

 

I recommend hitting record, playing casually for 30 minutes or so and seeing if that gives you a possible bridge to what you're seeking. We could also draw lots, take turns slapping you in the back of the head and saying "Get on with it, monkey boy!" It worked for me. Don't ask.

[KuruPrionz]

STOP recording OVER your recordings!!!!! 

That's your worst mistake at the moment. Keep recording, buy a big hard drive and fill it. 

You don't have to listen to it, yet. Just don't erase it. 

 

Consider sending some tracks to friends that you trust, people who will tell you the truth, the good, the bad and the ugly. 

 

I've been shy about my singing and a friend who is a GREAT singer came to my last performance. After I was done he came up to me and sincerely told me he though I sounded really good. He wouldn't say that if he didn't mean it, he's been straight up and honest with me and I was in a band with him for 6 years. I'm a good read, you bullshit me and I KNOW it. What I thought about my own performance does not matter in context, it's entirely too subjective. 

 

It's a universal truth that what you think about your music isn't what people hear. It's also true that there are lots of performers who can out-play, out-sing and out-perform pretty much everyone. I went to a karaoke a couple years ago and a young man got up and absolutely NAILED Bohemian Rhapsody. Scary! Luckily, I hadn't signed up yet so I waited a bit for others to go up there and be pretty OK before I had my turn. I would have hated to try and follow that!!!