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OT: Keyboardist's Dream


J. Dan

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OK, this is sort of NC-17: Not by language, but by content.

 

I just had a very unusual but awesome night. Not sure why.

 

I'm on break, and a very attractive young gal procedes to tell me how she just LOVE's the keyboards. They totally turn her on. Every time she sees us, she gets worked up. So I figured I'd call her bluff and say "oh, yeah? What do you do when you get home?" She says "I masterbate!". I didn't know what to say. I admit, I'm a geek, and happily married. "Well, we have to go on now".

 

OK, so that same set, I'm up front singing lead. I got my legs kind of shoulder stance, knees bent, looking up at the balcony folks singing. First thin I think is that some drunk fell onto the stage and ran into me. I look down, and this hot gal kind of dressed like a librarian (grey knit sweater and glasses - looked like the gals in strip clubs that dress up all conservative), had grabbed my crotch with both hands and ran her fingers down the inside of my thighs and down my legs.... Whoa. I look over at my drummer's fiance, and she's just laughing her @ss off - probably partially due to the look on my face, the other part because it was just so aggressive and ridiculous.

 

At one other point when I was singing, a group of about 5 gals all groped me.

 

I'm not trying to brag or anything, this never happens - I'm the keyboard player. They usually do this to the guitar player. I don't know what the deal was, but it was a great night to be a keyboard player!

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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...... I don't know what the deal was, but it was a great night to be a keyboard player!

 

I'm wondering if your great night was caused by a transmission of some of the collective energy of the KC dinner in Anaheim, which as going on at the same time. Perhaps we'll hear of additional unusual phenomena that occurred last night...

 

'Someday, we'll look back on these days and laugh; likely a maniacal laugh from our padded cells, but a laugh nonetheless' - Mr. Boffo.

 

We need a barfing cat emoticon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Could be. I got my nipple tweaked by a hot 24-year-old in a naughty Catholic schoolgirl outfit, unsolicited flirtation from an even younger girl, and a phone number from another woman closer to my own age (but still quite attractive). None of which are unheard of individually, but all together it made for an interesting night.

 

The powers of the KC dinner are strong...

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Back in th 70's I was asked a lot if I knew who Vitas Gerilitas was? I of course did, he was one of the top men's tennis players, women always told me I looked just like him and that he was a very attractive man. I look like him. I've always gotten attention whether playing or singing even with a wife or girlfriend around. As long as I can still play the keys and sing I'm fine with it. I give people a real show most of the time, I play the keys from in front of them, like Emo does. Over the years its much easier and at times I've had to jump hard over them to play a difficult or two board passage. Don't do that much any more, and yeah, women seem to go after the guitar player more, not all the time. Women seem real impressed that I don't hide my male pattern baldness, they get it, I'm always told it's very sexy. Enjoy the fondeling, you had a great night.

cheers.

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Funny thread!

 

I'm a married and faithful dude. I remember a gig from about 6 or 7 years ago that my band will bring up from time to time. It was a surprise birthday party gig at a nice outdoor location on the river. There was this one drop-dead gorgeous girl who had a similar obsession like Dan mentioned in his first thread. A few times in the night she hopped up behind me on the stage and was kind of dirty dancing all around me. It was a little bit funny, a little bit enjoyable, a little bit awkward.

 

I have other stories from the past that I'll refrain from sharing now, but it is neat when keyboard players get some attention away fro the singers and guitar players. :D

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I bet the keyboardists got ALL the chicks in the 80's.

:D

 

Nah, most of them were probably gay.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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What's funny, is I sing leads on some songs, and if there are no keys - like the hairband stuff, poison and what-not - I come up front with the mic. Usually that would be when I would get the attention.

 

So when the one gal started the sentence "it really turns me on when you...." I expected her to finish it with "..sing _____". My shock was "....play keyboards" What?!?!?

 

Don't know which patch turned her on, maybe I should have asked.

 

Actually, it was probably the lighting. We bucked up for 4 moving heads and a fog machine to go with the rest of the house lights that night. I was positioned with a moving head on either side of me - probably made me look cool for a change!

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

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I bet the keyboardists got ALL the chicks in the 80's.

:D

 

Nah, most of them were probably gay.

 

Could very well be. I've known two different groups of gay chicks whose idea of a fun night out was coming on to guys in clubs - either on stage or on the dance floor - getting the poor slobs all worked up and then blowing them off (but not in a good way).

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

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A long time ago I was sitting at a table between sets, talking to this girl and her friend. She starts grabbing at me under the table. I knew right then that I was going to get lucky that night. It doesn't happen much for us keyboardists, but it does happen now and then. Amazingly, I had more girls trying to pick up on me AFTER I got married, go figure.

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Amazingly, I had more girls trying to pick up on me AFTER I got married, go figure.

 

Funny. For me, I never seemed to generate more interest from ladies than in the one-year period between when I got engaged and when I got married. It's almost like women look at engaged guys as an added challenge. I passed. They failed. But oh, the temptation....

 

Noah

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