Name a popular song you just can't understand why it's so loved

[drawback]

Every obnoxious hit song has been forgiven when Wierd Al redoes them.

Otherwise, why would he do them?

 

I'd like him to redo that new Feist song/iPod jingle 1234

 

 

[Ed Coury]

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"- horribly repetitive, long and odd topic for a hit song

"Wonderful Tonight"

That horrid Rod Stewart seduction number-oh, yeah "Tonight's the Night" positively creepy, he was what, 40-something writing a song about deflowering some young thing. Eccch.*

"Colour My World" (didn't they use the pretentious British spelling?)

"Stairway to Heaven"

"Patches"- so bad it's almost good

"Seasons In the Sun"- thought my kids were gonna jump out of the moving car when it came on the satellite radio and the wife and I started singing along and laughing**

"Playground In My Mind"

"MacArthur Park"- one thought: WTF is this song about?

"Bad Bad Leroy Brown"- it was cute when he played it live on the Smothers Brothers' show (IIRC), but it quickly lost it's appeal with overplaying,

 

 

Also from that era: The Night Chicago Died.

[lerber3]

As you read this, punch yourself in the balls...

 

You ask me if I love you

And I choke on my reply

I'd rather hurt you honestly

Than mislead you with a lie

And who am I to judge you

On what you say or do?

I'm only just beginning to see the real you

 

And sometimes when we touch

The honesty's too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die

Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

 

Romance and all its strategy

Leaves me battling with my pride

But through the insecurity

Some tenderness survives

I'm just another writer

Still trapped within my truth

A hesitant prize fighter

Still trapped within my youth

 

And sometimes when we touch

The honesty's too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die

Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

 

At times I'd like to break you

And drive you to your knees

At times I'd like to break through

And hold you endlessly

 

At times I understand you

And I know how hard you've tried

I've watched while love commands you

And I've watched love pass you by

 

At times I think we're drifters

Still searching for a friend

A brother or a sister

But then the passion flares again

 

And sometimes when we touch

The honesty's too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you til I die

Til we both break down and cry

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

 

[drawback]

Dan Hill should have written for Hallmark cards.

 

How about my favorite forced rhyme:

 

"I laughed at all of your jokes,

My love you didn't need to coax"

[Chris Link]

 

 

Also from that era: The Night Chicago Died.

 

And don't forget the gibberish lyrics from that quintessential 70's band, America:

 

"Horse With No Name"- obviously refused to give his name in order to not be associated with this song.

 

"Muskrat Love"- unfortunately, the lyrics here are all too clear. It's about rodent sex. And it was covered by Captain and Tenille. Need I say more?

[StartRun]

..."Imagine"; hated playing it. Still hate hearing it.

 

"Lucky Man"; not what ELP was about, but they're stuck with it.

 

"Start Me Up"; Rolling Stones...

[drawback]

"Candle In The Wind"

[SK]

+, - 1 on Horse With No Name.

 

The 'cringe o'meter' broke when Frank Sinatra, Jr. did it.

[Bosendorphen]

For me it's "American Pie." Geez, if you're gonna have a song go on for so long, at least have some *development* to the structure. And playing a chorus slow for some variation don't cut it. Hate it.

 

I'm clueless as to why U2 is so popular too. Mediocre.

[mate stubb]

OK, I'll play.

 

Anything by Bobby Goldsboro - "Honey", etc.

Terry Jacks - "Seasons in the Sun"

Anything by BTO - "Takin' Care of #$%^%& Business"

Tony Orlando - "Tie A Yellow Ribbon"

Barry Manilow - "Mandy"

 

C'mon guys - you aren't trying hard enough!

[Mr. Nightime]

I'll have to put in a vote for "Train Keeps a Rollin" By Aerosmith. I love their music, but what were they thinking?

 

that song is about as close as they come to something that makes me want to punch myself in the balls.

 

Sad part - the bass player in my new side project wants to do that song. Ain't No Way In HELL!

 

[Griffinator]

The obvious:

 

Disco, in general. Too many top 40's to list, completely mystifying why anyone liked them.

[Andre Lower]

Ma-don-na. Living proof that hosts of people are deaf.

[Bill H.]

That horrid Rod Stewart seduction number-oh, yeah "Tonight's the Night" positively creepy, he was what, 40-something writing a song about deflowering some young thing. Eccch.*

 

*OK, he was 31. So sue me.

 

This song actually works very well as a dance number. I've been doing it for years and I can still go to it with confidence. You can open up the piano part considerably BTW with key changes (there's already two) and chord subs.

 

It would not be on my worst list at all, but everyone's taste is different.

[kanker.]

That horrid Rod Stewart seduction number-oh, yeah "Tonight's the Night" positively creepy, he was what, 40-something writing a song about deflowering some young thing. Eccch.*

 

*OK, he was 31. So sue me.

 

This song actually works very well as a dance number. I've been doing it for years and I can still go to it with confidence. You can open up the piano part considerably BTW with key changes (there's already two) and chord subs.

 

It would not be on my worst list at all, but everyone's taste is different.

I love playing that tune when I'm working a restaurant gig around Prom time, see the kids come in all gussied up, knowing exactly what's on the mind of every single dude regarding his date, and none of them get the joke...

[Bill H.]

I played it Tuesday night for a formal Christmas party of mostly 40-60 somethings. The fanciest thing I'll do this year. The floor was packed. On a song that I actually enjoy singing and playing. That combination doesn't happen all that much.

[The Real MC]

While we're on songs we hate, take a look at singers we hate (safe for work)

[meccajay]

While we're on songs we hate, take a look at singers we hate (safe for work)

 

Now I can understand Beck, Neil Diamond, Meatloaf, and even

Dylan and Aaron Neville to a degree, but Johnny Cash??!

 

You blaspheme ! ! ! !

[Griffinator]

I love playing that tune when I'm working a restaurant gig around Prom time, see the kids come in all gussied up, knowing exactly what's on the mind of every single dude regarding his date, and none of them get the joke...

 

Inside jokes from the stage are the best. Only downside is the challenge of not laughing while you're playing it.

[Dan South]

"I Will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor - why do our women love to sing song this to us?

 

"Have You Ever Been Mellow" - and other crap by Olivia Newton John

 

"Little Jeannie" - and other crap by Elton John

 

"Come on Eileen" - Dexy's Midnight Runners (catchy title, though)

 

"Our House (In The Middle of My Street)" - a bunch of wankers

 

"Our House (Is A Very Very Very Fine House)" - a different bunch of wankers

 

"Bohemian Rhapsody" - random howls trying oh so hard to be theatrical

 

"Weeeeeee Are The Champ-yuns My FRAY-end" - no, you're not!

 

"You're Havin' My Baby" - let's hope the kid doesn't write songs

 

"Sad Eyes (Turn Your Head Away)" - too bad you can't turn your ears away

 

"I Believe In Miracles (You Sex Thang)" - wow, there's a lot of crap in the world of pop

 

"Ooh Ohh Afternoon Delight" and "Do That To Me One More Time" - I don't want to hear about the sex lives of people who would write lame songs like these

 

"Can't Get Enough Of Your Love" - this song might put me in the mood if I had never, ever seen what Barry White looked like

 

"Clouds In My Coffee (You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Song Is About You)" - Given that she mentions him directly in the lyrics, I guess the song really IS about him

 

"Kokomo (Bermuda Bahama)" - Beach Boys stooping low for cash

 

"I Write The Songs" - the absolute worst of Barry Manilow, and that's saying a lot. (Note: proof that the grammys are utter crap)

 

"Born To Run" and "Living On A Prayer" - more toxic waste from the Garden State

 

 

 

[Chris Link]

Someone mentioned "Imagine". Here's a funny piece deconstructing the lyric from a few years back:

 

Imagining "Imagine"

On the anniversary of John Lennon's death, it's worth taking a look at the gibberish in his beloved anthem.

by Joel Engel

12/08/2003 12:00:00 AM

 

 

TODAY MARKS the 23rd anniversary of John Lennon's murder by a deranged fan, an act that at once revivified the ex-Beatle's career and established his 1971 song "Imagine" as the official utopian anthem. For millions of people around the world, the song's three minutes of bumper-sticker slogans describe the best of all possible worlds.

 

But before the faithful gather in memoriam to light candles and sing "Imagine" together, as they always do on the anniversary, a few of them might want to stop and consider that the lyrics are hardly a recipe for universal bliss. Chaos may be closer to the truth.

 

Put aside for a moment the inconvenient fact that John once admitted he'd written "All You Need Is Love" as irony. Or that, as a Beatle, his most spirited vocals may have been on the group's cover of "Money (That's What I Want)," which begins: The best things in life are free / But you can keep them for the birds and bees. Or that, on his solo debut album, recorded a year before "Imagine," he sang: I told you before, stay away from my door / Don't give me that brother, brother, brother, brother . . . Let's just take the words of "Imagine" at face value.

 

Imagine there's no heaven . . . No hell below us . . . Imagine all the people living for today. Okay, let's imagine that; let's imagine six billion people who believe that flesh and blood is all there is; that once you shuffle off this mortal coil, poof, you're history; that Hitler and Mother Teresa, for example, both met the same ultimate fate. Common sense suggests that such a world would produce a lot more Hitlers and a lot fewer Teresas, for the same reason that you get a lot more speeders / murderers / rapists / embezzlers when you eliminate laws, police, and punishment. Skeptics and atheists can say what they like about religion, but it's hard to deny that the fear of an afterlife where one will be judged has likely kept hundreds of millions from committing acts of aggression, if not outright horror. Nothing clears the conscience quite like a belief in eternal nothingness.

 

Imagine there's no countries . . . Nothing to kill or die for / No religion too / Imagine all the people / living life in peace. Hmmm. A single, borderless entity. No passports or customs inspectors rifling through your luggage. So far, so good. But wait a second. By what laws, rules, cultures, customs, and mores would we all be living? America's? Saudi Arabia's? Iceland's? Cuba's? Obviously, organizing billions of people from different traditions around a common mindset would require some serious coercion that progressives (many of whom will be out in force tonight with lighted candles) keep reminding us is not our prerogative--not even in countries with brutal dictators. And if there's nothing to kill or die for, then there's really nothing to live for, either--not equality, not liberty, not justice. It bears remembering that those young Englishmen who declared, in the 1930s, that they wouldn't fight for king and country did nothing for the cause of peace; quite the opposite. Lennon's own Oxford Pledge may warm the hearts of pacifists, but it's true music to a tyrant's ears.

 

Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can / No need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man / Imagine all the people, sharing all the world. . . . Let's begin implementing the third stanza's message by splitting up the royalties to this copyrighted song. Mrs. Lennon, I imagine, will be only too happy to share with the rest of us the proceeds from the semiannual checks she receives for its licensing. In fact, why don't we all participate in every revenue stream created by John's invaluable catalogue? No, even that's not good enough. John wants us all to own everything, so we're each entitled to an equal share of not only his catalogue but also every album, tape, and CD ever made--by every artist. True, in such an egalitarian world, there soon won't be any record stores from which to take home recorded merchandise, since the owners will have nothing left to sell and are anyway no longer the owners (we all are). Nor will there be anything to play or record the music on (assuming any artist still wants to record), since there'd be no one to build the equipment. Why should anyone volunteer to work in a factory making hard goods when everyone else is living in the poshest houses and eating at the finest restaurants for free? Of course, housing and food are going to be problems, too, unless someone volunteers to mine the quarries, hammer nails, plant corn, and catch salmon for the rest of us. In John's imagined world, su casa es mi casa . So is su radicchio .

 

And the world will live as one. One what? Violent mess, apparently.

 

Imagine that.

 

Joel Engel is an author and journalist in Southern California.

 

© Copyright 2003, News Corporation, Weekly Standard, All Rights Reserved.

[drawback]

"I Write The Songs" - the absolute worst of Barry Manilow, and that's saying a lot. (Note: proof that the grammys are utter crap)

 

 

... which Barry Manilow did not write, further adding to it's manilowcrapishness.

[drawback]

Speaking of Grammys. I swore I'd stop watching when "Don't Worry, Be Happy" received song of the year. I decided to give it another chance, only to be hit in the balls with "All I Want To Do Is Have Some Fun."

 

Now almost every top40 hit sounds like a high school cheer aimed at grabbing a piece of the "short little span of attention."

 

Yikes.

[Dubba]

How bout artists changing styles to try to stay on top?! Take KISS and their song "I was made for loving you" as an example. Blech!!

 

[drawback]

How bout artists changing styles to try to stay on top?! Take KISS and their song "I was made for loving you" as an example. Blech!!

 

My current peeve for that is Gwen Stefani. But everyone's done it. The Stones, Rod Stewart and especially the BeeGees went disco. Everyone unplugged for awhile. Dylan went electric. Look at Santana: get a popstar to sing a tune over the same old guitar lick. If you can't do pop anymore, it's time to go "jazz" or the "great american songbook." There goes Rod Stewart again...

 

This strand could go on and on.

[Steve Nathan]

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"- horribly repetitive, long and odd topic for a hit song

 

I've hated this song since the day I first heard it, but one day I heard a new take on it by Pete and Wayne, the infamous Key west saloon duo who perform self composed parodies every night on Duval Street. Now any time I hear Mr. Lightfoot, I can't help but roll on the floor

The title of their version....

 

"The Rectum of Ella Fitzgerald"

 

 

[kanker.]

"Ooh Ohh Afternoon Delight"

What I dig about this tune though is that it really is pretty tongue in cheek. As the ladies sang it - 'Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite/ And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting'

 

Skyrocket's in flight my friend.

[StartRun]

...and the "artists" who performed "Afternoon Delight" were rewarded in the mid-'70's with their own TV show; "The Starland

Vocal Band" variety show was a summer replacement that actually ran for a few weeks.

 

Not hardly the next Dean Martin or Carol Burnett, not even on

a par with "The Captain and Tenille Show", but they did parlay a

dumb song into a TV show...

[drawback]

...and the "artists" who performed "Afternoon Delight" were rewarded in the mid-'70's with their own TV show; "The Starland

Vocal Band" variety show was a summer replacement that actually ran for a few weeks.

 

Not hardly the next Dean Martin or Carol Burnett, not even on

a par with "The Captain and Tenille Show", but they did parlay a

dumb song into a TV show...

 

As did Kenny Rogers & The First Edition after "Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)"... they had a show on Canadian TV for a couple of seasons from that.

 

Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

Peace out.

[The Real MC]

Take KISS and their song "I was made for loving you" as an example. Blech!!

 

Take any KISS, blech!

 

I can't believe I used to like them when I was in high school.