Songs that suck

[Tedster]

Dave said...

 

>>>Which version? The original B.J. Thomas one, or the Blue Suede version with the Hooga Chaka bit?

 

dB

 

I still can't believe that some idiot released the "Hooga Chaka" version of "Hooked". I gotta believe that it was meant as a joke. Stupid ass joke that everyone missed.

 

Another song that kinda does that for me is UB40's attempt at "reggae Elvis" "I Can't Help Falling etc.". That grinds my gears.

 

Milli Vanilli Ice should oughta be castrated for "Ice Ice". Recently I downloaded a song off of, uh, you know...and played it for all my kids' friends. They immediately started singing "Ice Ice"...and I said...NOPE...WRONG!...this is the REAL song. Let 'em hear "Under Pressure".

[Bucktunes]

I can't believe nobody's slammed this one yet-"Kung Fu Fighting"

Besides being about the most pointless piece of crap I've ever heard on the radio, it had some laughably stupid lyrics;"Everybody was kung fu fighting.(HUAAH!) Those dudes were fast as lightning.(HAH!) In fact it was a little bit frightening.(HUAAH!) But they did it with expert timing(HAH!)" And to think some people actually got rich off of this!

 

Originally posted by GusTraX:

 

2) Any Door's song featuring a LONG solo of Ray Manzarek... ughhh

 

One of their tunes I just can't listen to is "Light My Fire". The organ solo in that tune could actually be used by police to flush stand-off criminals out of the house!

 

Another one that I think is just laughably stupid is Dead Or Alive's "You Spin Me Round And Round". The pseudo-operetic howling at the end of the choruses is so far out of context it's hilarious.

 

"I Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon. Those guys put out some good tunes, but this wasn't one of them.

 

Anything by Madonna. I could probably enjoy the production on some of her more recent stuff if I could just filter out her annoying voice. I think Britney Spears was actually cloned from Madonna's genes. No wonder Madonna's such a fan of Britney's. Same crap- different generation.

 

I could go on and on, but I'm already feeling a little nauseous!

 

Peace all,

Steve

[x factor music]

3 words...or is it 4?

 

Gimme Three Stayups

[synthfoolsynthfool.com]

Elton John- "I don't want to go around with you like that"

 

Or whatever the song is called- horrible and embarrassing for a guy who's turned out such classics.

[Mark Zeger]

"Convoy"...enough said (for the Gen-X'ers: it's a song based on the CB radio fad of the '70's. CB radio is to cell phone what 8-track is to CD)

 

And now, let the flames commence:

"The Star Spangled Banner"

One of only a few things better about Canada: their national anthem is a much better song than ours. At least "O Canada" has a range that can be sung by most Canadians, even with 3-4 Molsons before a hockey game. Singing the "Star Spangled Banner" live at a sporting event is almost a cruel joke played on singers. Last fall, Sheryl Crow destroyed it at the World Series, Billy Joel just barely made it through (though the N'Sync version was very good...was it live, or was it Memorex). Then again, I saw on VH-1 tape of a Marvin Gaye "smooth-groove" rendition, I think it was for the '84 NBA All-Start Game. That was a national anthem!

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

Originally posted by synthfool@synthfool.com:

Elton John- "I don't want to go around with you like that"

 

Or whatever the song is called- horrible and embarrassing for a guy who's turned out such classics.

 

Yeah, man...almost all of the latter-period Elton is such a shame. In addition to your excellent suggestion, tunes like "I'm Still Standing", "Sad Songs" and the like would normally merit death by firing squad if they weren't offset by songs like "Funeral for a Friend" and "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road".

 

Speaking of classic artists that lost their spark later in their careers, the dichotomy between early- and mid-period Stevie Wonder and the dreck that he's done over the last 20 years or so is one of the saddest examples of listener letdown I can think of at the moment.

 

- Jeff

[KidCharlemagne]

Ditto on the national anthem. it's a scandalously bad song and bad poem as our national anthem. trouble is, god bless america is not an option because it's not PC; same for america the beautiful ("God shed his grace on thee" doesn't fit today's secularity). we're stuck with bombs bursting in air, rocket's red glare, and singers laid bare.

 

y'know, i just bought the doors greatest hits, just so i could learn those famous solos and damn if i still can't stand their music. what you call buyers' remorse. but i'll learn a few hooks i guess.

 

finally, i always wondered about that hook Yo, Yo, Yo, of bob marley. was it the spleef that made him copy it? is his the original? how did the banana splits come up with it? and wouldn't you like to have the time spent in front of that saturday a.m. crap back again? i for one wish i had been practicing piano, or guitar or playing ball, or anything other than memorizing the likes of that stuff. oh well,

[DrMarkAndersenexcite.com]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

Which version? The original B.J. Thomas one, or the Blue Suede version with the Hooga Chaka bit?

 

dB

 

The Blue Suede version is the object of my wrath. Like our

planet, the B.J. Thomas version is "mostly harmless." (Gratuitous

Hitchhikers' Guide ref there, my apologies.)

 

cheers,

Mark A.

[Steve LeBlanc]

Who do you like that's "modern" or with this decade (the 90's count of course)?

 

Well I'll just name a few (but there really aren't that many anyway http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif)...

 

In the 90s...

 

David Bowie - "Earthling" and "Outside"

RadioHead - "Ok Computer" (I know this is a album we're "suppose to like" but it really is undeniable).

Tori Amos - "Boys for Pele" (I find it hard to imagine a Piano player not digging this album)

Prince - "Emancipation"

Deep Purple - "Purpendicular" (I know these guys are 'old' but this album just rocks)

Zakk Wylde - "Pride & Glory"

 

and there might be a few others.

 

This message has been edited by Steve LeBlanc on 05-09-2001 at 12:23 PM

[SFOracle]

okay, okay, my brain is working better now. Let's add to the list of stuff that makes me barf anything from Brian Adams (I grew up in Vancouver - hated the guy). Anything from Phil Collins after about 1984 (oh how the mighty have fallen - I used to love Genesis).

 

Celine Dione - should have gone down with the ship.

 

Workin for the weekend - Loverboy (now where are my pink leather pants).

 

Sun glasses at night - Corey Hart.

 

 

Pop stuff I love?

 

Even though I've been in California for 6 years now, I can't get enough of The Tragically Hip (especially the stuff from their earlier CDs like New Orleans is Sinkin, Boots or Hearts, Wheat Kings etc.)

 

I also like Blue Rodeo - another Canadian band that writes great ballads If you are not familiar with Blue Rodeo - check out some of their ballads from Casino (After the Rain, Montreal), Lost Together (Lost Together, Rain Down on Me) and 5 Days in July (Five days in May, 'Til I Gain Control).

 

I also loved Kansas, Rush, Toto and Journey (if I could look past Steve Perry). Other (pop) stuff I like would have to include Matchbox 20, REM, U2 and the Doobie Bros. As a keyboard player, I love Micheal MacDonald's fat chord voicings and compositions.

 

don.

[SFOracle]

okay, okay, my brain is working better now. Let's add to the list of stuff that makes me barf anything from Brian Adams (I grew up in Vancouver - hated the guy). Anything from Phil Collins after about 1984 (oh how the mighty have fallen - I used to love Genesis).

 

Celine Dione - should have gone down with the ship.

 

Workin for the weekend - Loverboy (now where are my pink leather pants).

 

Sun glasses at night - Corey Hart.

 

 

Pop stuff I love?

 

Even though I've been in California for 6 years now, I can't get enough of The Tragically Hip (especially the stuff from their earlier CDs like New Orleans is Sinkin, Boots or Hearts, Wheat Kings etc.)

 

I also like Blue Rodeo - another Canadian band that writes great ballads If you are not familiar with Blue Rodeo - check out some of their ballads from Casino (After the Rain, Montreal), Lost Together (Lost Together, Rain Down on Me) and 5 Days in July (Five days in May, 'Til I Gain Control).

 

I also loved Kansas, Rush, Toto and Journey (if I could look past Steve Perry). Other (pop) stuff I like would have to include Matchbox 20, REM, U2 and the Doobie Bros. As a keyboard player, I love Micheal MacDonald's fat chord voicings and compositions.

 

don.

[mpalacios]

Ah, yes. The Splits. Fleegle (red dog), Bingo (monkey), Drooper(yellow dog), and Baby Snorks (elephant).

 

Am I a nerd for knowing that, or what?

 

Wow! That was such a crucial time in the development of my young psyche. But the question is.... have you ever heard the Banana Splits Theme song as played by the Dickies (local LA punk band of days gone by).

 

Had to step up for this one!

 

mp

[Rob Wallace]

You've mentioned the Ice Ice baby debacle but there is a more modern equivalent of a total blasphemy upon this musical earth and that is the Samantha Mumba abomination that destroyed Ashes To Ashes. If ever there was an example of mutilating a classic song then this is it. I can't believe Bowie gave them permission to use it but I guess he must have. When I first heard it I thought "Cool they're re -releasing this brilliant song" and then she started ranting all over it aaargghhhhh!!!

 

Also, along the same lines, I remember an incident when I used to work in a shop and we had Bob Marley on playing 'I shot the sherrif'. There was a guy in the queue and when he reached the counter he said "Huh, this isn't a patch on the original" I just gave him a really dirty look and took his money.

 

In the UK we are up to our eyeballs in boy bands and girl bands at the moment which I hate. I never listen to the radio anymore as it is all total crap. There isn't an original bone in the pop industry anymore. Everyone plays it safe and copies everybody else. It has got to the stage now where they even made a tv series that documented the manufacture of a new band showing how they were auditioned and nurtured into what is now the pop phenomenon Hear Say who you should have heard of by now. They perform the songs that didn't make it onto the S Club 7 album. Oooh bitchy !

 

My list of hates are:

 

Boy bands

Girl bands

Any song co written with Missy Elliot or whatever her name is with those bloody annoying drum rhythms

Britney

Pop divas Whitney, Celine and especially Mariah Carey

Any song that totally rips off samples from another song and then they chant bollox over the top of it (eg. Puff Daddy). Anyone with Logic Audio and a mic could knock those songs up in 5 minutes.

 

Ooops, I'm getting into my stride now, the needle's in the red. I'd better stop and have a lie down.

 

Ahhhh, that's better. Someone put the football on.

 

Bassment

[Felix_dup1]

I have a problem with songs that rely heavily on keyboards, but yet there is no keyboardist in the band.

 

I'm no expert, but I remember tons of Police stuff that was very synth/keyboard based - who was the keyboardist? Was it the same guy in the studio as it was on tour, and did they have keyboards on stage? I also remember reading the feature of U2's tour (either popmart or zooropa) where they had this huge keyboard rig - under the stage! What's the point in hiding it all?

 

I also have a problem with alternative rock songs that rely on electronic grooves and keyboard sounds, but downplay the role of these elements of their music, as if keyboards would make them somehow less musically legitimate. Then, once the group experiences commercial success with an electronically-based song, they quickly make it a point to say that their next release will be harder (read: guitars) and less commercial (read: keyboards). ugh!

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

Originally posted by mpalacios:

But the question is.... have you ever heard the Banana Splits Theme song as played by the Dickies (local LA punk band of days gone by).

 

Had to step up for this one!

 

mp

 

mpalacios!!! What's up, buddy? How's my favorite musician/engineer/longshoreman/elementary school teacher? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

I first saw the Dickies in about 1983 at The Music Machine in Santa Monica along with a very new band that no one had heard of called The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The funny thing is that I ended up recording the Dickies in the studio of CSUDH in about 1990 as a tape op/second engineer. And yes, I've heard the theme song...awesome stuff.

 

Wow...I'm going to listen to "Stukas Over Disneyland" this weekend! "Where'd his eye go...I don't know..."

 

- Jeff

[Nika]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

The other one, I don't even know who does it. It starts with a 1-4-5 minor arpeggio pattern played on a bell-y synth program, then this girl sings one or two lines with this one little melody, and spends the rest of the song going " na na na na na na na na...na na" over the same melody married to My First Drum Machine Program - you know - Techno Disco...mm-tss, mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss. It's one redeeming feature is a Eurythmics type break in the middle, but then she starts right in again with " na na na na na na na na...na na"

 

Is this either Paula Cole's "I don't Want to Wait" or Natalie Merchant's "Kind & Generous". They're really about the same song I think. Na na na na na na na na

[Nika]

Originally posted by SolipsismX:

DIE ZOOT RIOT!! What's a zoot??

 

 

OK, only since you ask. It's actually called Zoot Suit riot, and a zoot suit is a common swing dancing outfit worn by men. For a picture and better explanations I found this picture for you:

 

http://www.elpachuco.com/images/remotemenu1_off.jpg

[Nika]

OK, so my first thought is "The Name Game" by Shirley Ellis Chase.

 

Nika Nika bo Bika

Banana Fanna fo Fika...........

[SolipsismX]

>>>OK, only since you ask. It's actually called Zoot Suit riot, and a zoot suit is a common swing dancing outfit worn by men. For a picture and better explanations I found this picture for you<<<

 

LOL, thanks... I went out and bought one right after I saw that pic and now I can totally relate to that song. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif

[Nika]

Allright, Allright. How about this one. I didn't double check my last link to make sure it actually worked.

 

http://www.elpachuco.com/

[neil]

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING RAP OR HIP HOP.

And if anyone else tells me, oh, you just don't understand it, I'll scream!

 

This NOISE is a insult to the natural talent and rhythm that many African Americans have.

 

Eminem should be killed too.

[Steve44]

well, how do I follow a remarkably intelligent post like that...

 

I absolutely cannot stand the Vengaboys. They have those two stupid songs "I want you in my room" (I don't want to type "boom" four times..) and that "The Venga bus is coming" song. Last summer they played that piece of crap over and over and I really wanted to do a triton-sequenced version of it with the lyric "The Stupid bus is coming, if you're stupid please get on it." I hate that song so much. The other one is just mostly annoying, and I've started to hate it since I broke up with a girl who went crazy for it.. Ack!

[Nika]

Did anyone mention "Who Let the Dogs Out" yet?

[Jose Cobelas]

Just a few:

 

1. Houston, Whitney. I will always love youuuuuuuuuuu...Annoying.

2. Dion, Celine. The Titanic thing. Seems like most posters agree on this one.

3. Lennon, John. Imagine. Sorry, I cannot stand the guy. I bought the Double Fantasy album when it was released, and ended liking the Yoko Ono side more than John´s. Imagine.

4. Los del Rio. Macarena. For a Spaniard, planetary level embarrassment.

5. The Police. Any song where Sting sung his trademark eeeayyoooo nonsense.

 

And last, but not least:

 

THE SINGALONG CROWD. "Singing" through your favourite artist show. Makes me think of mass murder.

 

JoseC.

[KidCharlemagne]

Originally posted by jcobelas@navegalia.com:

And last, but not least:

 

THE SINGALONG CROWD. "Singing" through your favourite artist show. Makes me think of mass murder.

 

JoseC.

I guess i don't know what you mean exactly, but i think we need more rather than less singalongs and the like. in general we have an overabundance of streaming junk claiming to be music and far too little musicmaking by all types of people, but especially from those who aren't trained as musicians, and have no musical outlets. i get so tired of (and so disheartened by) people claiming total musical incapacity and believing them because i know they've never ever gotten the chance or the encouragement to express their musicality.

 

if you visit truly musical cultures, (ireland, italy come to mind, and surely many other places in europe) everyone is singing all the time. singalongs are great cultural traditions. across generations, classes, etc., they know words, tunes, and love to join in. in america, we seem to have no musical heritage or tradition shared and treasured by enough to notice that it's there.

 

 

(and whitney makes my skin crawl, my eyes hurt, and my ears cry.)

 

This message has been edited by KidCharlemagne on 05-14-2001 at 12:00 PM

[Jose Cobelas]

Originally posted by KidCharlemagne:

if you visit truly musical cultures, (ireland, italy come to mind, and surely many other places in europe) everyone is singing all the time. singalongs are great cultural traditions. across generations, classes, etc., they know words, tunes, and love to join in. in america, we seem to have no musical heritage or tradition shared and treasured by enough to notice that it's there.

 

This message has been edited by KidCharlemagne on 05-14-2001 at 12:00 PM [/b]

 

Yep. Same here (Spain). It is usually nice. But when you go so see a show by, say, B. Springsteen, pay for your (expensive) ticket, and all you can hear is the sound of the crowd around you singing/shouting throughout EVERY SONG, you start thinking that you died and went to some kind of weird karaoke hell...

 

JoseC.

[KidCharlemagne]

Actually, i've never been to spain, but i kinda like the music.

 

i also take your point about over-exuberant fans. actually, it's no surprise. cause, y'know,. . . . they SAY the ladies are insane there, and they know how to use it.

[lastresort001aol.com]

I think one of the worst has to be that Eiffel (followed by some numbers) song Blue (da bo dee da ba da). That song makes me nauseous and the video is just as cheesy. But people seemd to like. What is wrong with the public today?

[dansouth]

Hmmmmm.......

 

Well, I just don't get into this "suck" mentality. There's no litmus test for a bad piece of music. I would much rather people approach this subject honestly and say "I don't care for Song X," instead of "Song X sucks!" The latter tries to put the blame on the song, when as we all should know, that suckiness is usually a matter of our own taste, not some intrinsic attribute of the recording.

 

Yeah, I hate a lot of the stuff that's been listed here. "Seasons in the Sun" compells me to do violence to the owner of the stereo. But that's my choice, my preference. I know otherwise sane people who STILL think that "Seasons in the Sun" was a good song. I just don't let them go near the knife drawer.

 

I used to be a total anti-Country snob. Country music was pathetic, in my view. I hated everything about it and every country song I ever heard. Then I joined a wedding band that played about twenty country songs. Over time, I gained an appreciation for country music. It takes a talent to write a country song, and a WHOLE lot of talent to sing one convincingly. The lyrics always make sense and tell a story, often a clever or humorous one. The engineers and studios in Nashville are amoung the best in the world. My prior hatred of all things country was pure musical bigotry, but at least I was able to realize this. Now I try not to judge a song or a genre or an artist until I get to know their work. Lots of recordings still annoy me. But rather than bash it as something inferior, I'd rather just switch the station and keep my opinions to myself.

 

I think we're always permitted a few indiscretions, so a good rule of thumb would be that any song that reminds you of a bad relationship or a painful breakup "SUCKS" by definition. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif

[ksoper]

Originally posted by SFOracle:

Let's add to the list of stuff that makes me barf anything from Brian Adams (I grew up in Vancouver - hated the guy). Anything from Phil Collins after about 1984 (oh how the mighty have fallen - I used to love Genesis).

 

This makes sense. Phil Collins moved to Vancouver around then. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif