Jeff Klopmeyer

Almost seven years later and I still damn near die laughing from zeronyne's Emerson tab graphic.

Thanks Linwood! I have to say... working with other musicians of the caliber of Phil, Bunny and Ken makes all the difference in the world. The process has been so easy and natural compared to other musical projects I've done, it scares me in a way. I guess that's how it's supposed to be when you're with talented people who are also your good friends.

I am mostly hesitant to post my music anywhere around the Keyboard Corner, despite being pals with so many of you. Why is that, you ask? Well, could be that though I plays keys, my primary instrument is called the guitar. However, I just got a rough mix in from my friend/mixer/co-producer Phil O'Keefe, and this particular song features Ken Lee (aka KenElevenShadows here on KC) using his Electro 2 to do some very sweet organ stabs and fills. Since there are keys on this one, albeit not exactly the featured instrument, I feel better about throwing it out to you. Here's "Lines On Your Eyes" from my upcoming album. If you weren't already aware, I'm doing this one under my stage name of Zak Claxton. And, if you want more details, I'm playing guitar, bass, and lead/bck vocals here. As mentioned, Ken is on the Nord. Another MP forum guy, Bunny Knutson, is my drummer on this track. Phil O'Keefe adds additional guitars and backing vocals. The mix isn't final, but it's close enough to give you the idea for the tune. I'll let you KC people know when we have the album done, perhaps in two months or so. In the meantime, you're always welcome to listen to rough mixes at zakclaxton.com/music.html .

Holy crap, Ravi. I think you need a little more good gear. Welcome. - Jeff

Yes, this has to be on the top ten list of classic threads here. I still think the original guy must have been a prankster. I mean... c'mon. - Jeff

I wonder how his gig went! - Jeff

Dude, stop, I'm going to rupture something over here. Seriously. No more. This is dangerously funny. - Jeff

A-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh man, I'm dying over here. I freakin LOVE this, and yes, the bird talon takes the cake. - Jeff

Shaddup, you...you...Trojan. - Jeff

Did you read ANY of the responses the last time you posted this request? I'm sick of being nice about it. There is no such thing as keyboard tab. It's called sheet music. And even without the sheet music, which you can find in about ten seconds on a web search, it's not a hard song to play. Just play the damn song. Sheesh. - Jeff

This is sucha subjective topic...you'll get every answer from "it is the best thing ever" to "it is the spawn of Satan". My answer? The QS is a good, all-around, bread-and-butter synth. It's a good, flexible controller. It's expandable with new samples. The internal sounds are extremely varied in terms of quality. The pianos, e. pianos and synth pads are great. The drums are fine (for a ROMpler). The basses, guitars and especially horns and strings leave a lot to be desired. I'd buy another one if I was in the market for a keyboard. - Jeff

This keeps me entertained for hours: Kiss This Guy : A huge database archive of misheard lyrics. One of my favorites is the dude that thought the Stones' "Beast of Burden" went like this: "I wouldn't pee if your feets were burnin'" Check it out...you'll love it. - Jeff

Hey Paul...glad to hear the cows are less mad there in Switzerland. Personally, I think all cows should try and be happy...anger is a self-defeating emotion. So I'm hanging my shingle as "Bovine Therapist to the Stars" and curing this whole mad cow thing once and for all, mostly by prescribing Prozac. Moooooooo! http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif - Jeff

I'll bet you'd be good with a slice of ham on rye with a little dijon mustard. Sorry, feeling silly this morning. - Jeff

Dave Bryce looks like Robert DeNiro?????? Holy shit, I must have been friends with a Bryce impersonator for all these years. The Dave Bryce I know looks pretty much like a human version of the Tazmanian Devil cartoon character. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif Okay, with a little DeNiro thrown in for good measure. Back on topic (or sort of): one of my bands had three Mikes out of four guys. It was a real problem. I just invented silly nicknames for all of them and never ended up calling any of them by their real name at all. - Jeff

My name is Jeff and I'm an audioholic... As you can likely tell by my screen name, I am indeed a TASCAM guy. Specifically, I am the head cheese of TASCAM marketing. Any time you see a TASCAM ad, or check out the TASCAM web site, or read our brochures, or see the outside of our product packages, you have me and my small team to thank or blame as the case may warrant. In any case, I am a marketing weasel and I'm proud of it. So there. Before TASCAM, I was a marketing weasel for another audio/music company, and it was there that I met our illustrious forum moderator, Dave Bryce. Music: started on piano at 3 1/2. Started on violin at six. Guitar at seven. Cello at ten. Bass at 12. Got my first synth (Juno 60) at age 15. Although like another poster, my gear acquisition has slowed waaaaaaaay down since my son was born a couple of years ago, I still have a little studio in my home that works well for composing and getting ideas down. I have a couple of MDMs, a US-428 for interfacing audio and MIDI with my Mac, and I've been gravitating toward Cubase 5 for most of my tracking and editing. I have a QS8 with the Classical Piano QCard, an SC-55 (yes, the old Sound Canvas), an Alpha Juno-1 (why? I don't know), and have started messing with virtual synths (the Native Instruments B4 is killing me). I have a 1980 Les Paul, an '84 American Strat, a Carvin, a Charvel, a couple of acoustics and a no-name bass. I have a Marshall PCM800 amp with a 4" x 10" cabinet. Blah blah blah...a bunch of mics, verbs, multieffects and stuff. Anyway, it works. I am 33 going on 60; my favorite color is dusky gray-blue; I am 5'11" and 160 lbs; I have a bachelors degree in music, emphasizing audio recording and music synthesis; I live near a beach; I own three cats (or perhaps they own me); I design web sites for fun when I'm not playing with music; I participate on at least five different audio and music-based forums and newsgroups; I have been with the same woman for almost 12 years. I guess that's all. How ya like me now? - Jeff

Okay, I'm feeling brave today, so I'm going to throw my little tune into the ring here. http://www.mp3.com/JeffKlopmeyer PLEASE read my disclaimer before you listen: 1. The guy who did vocals on this track is a lyricist/engineer/producer who is a great guy and a good friend. Note that I did not add the word "singer" to this description. He's got some issues with pitch and tonality, as you'll soon see. 2. What I did: wrote all the music (except the vocal melody), arranged the piece, co-engineered, co-produced, and played all instruments (ac. guitar, el. guitar, bass, piano) and did drum sequencing. Lyrics, vocals and most of the engeering/production work is my friend Mike. 3. The tune is about four years old and it's already starting to sound dated. I would change the arrangement if I were to re-record it today. 4. I do NOT like the drum sounds for the most part...the cheesy splash cymbal is probably the worst, followed closely by the too-up-front snare that is completely lacking in dynamics. This song screams for real drums, or at least a real performance of triggered drums. And the electric guitar tone is pretty thin...I think we had to DI through a Boss SE-70, though I greatly prefer miking my cabinet to get "my" sound. Okay, done making excuses. Check it out if you want. - Jeff