Songs that suck

[Dave Bryce]

Another pilfered thread - this one from the Guitar forum.

 

Pretty self-explanatory - what songs, when you hear them, make you want to take a chain-saw to the offending piece of technology that is playing them at the time?

 

Or worse, are there songs that you've had to play in public that have made you...shall we say...ill?

 

Let's just get "Feelings" out of the way immediately, shall we?

 

dB

[Steve LeBlanc]

"I Have Friends in Lonely Places"

[DrMarkAndersenexcite.com]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

Another pilfered thread - this one from the Guitar forum.

 

Pretty self-explanatory - what songs, when you hear them, make you want to take a chain-saw to the offending piece of technology that is playing them at the time?

 

Or worse, are there songs that you've had to play in public that have made you...shall we say...ill?

 

Let's just get "Feelings" out of the way immediately, shall we?

 

dB

 

I'm really dating myself here, but "Hooked on a feeling" makes me hurl.

 

cheers,

Mark A.

[joegerardi]

Dave:

Aside from "Feelings", shouldn't we unilaterally discard "You Light Up My Life", also?

http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

Pretty much anything currently getting airplay is off my listen list. I've commented elsewhere on what I think of the angst-ridden, poor-poor me attitude of current music.

 

With me, it's not so much individual songs, as it is groups. I find that I either love them or hate them as a whole. For example, I hate The Doors, I hate David Bowie, I hate The Stones. It's funny, because I don't like anything by these artists.

[KidCharlemagne]

Sometimes i hate a band's personality, but like some songs, (Allman Brso., Doors (rippin' keys)) and sometimes i don't care for the music all that much, but i like the keyboard contribution e.g, Skynrd, Supertramp,

but i ALWAYS hate a song performed by Bette, Cher, Whitney, some other unmentionables (like that hair guy, and that erstwhile teenage star now touring broadway).

[SFOracle]

Anything by some packaged diva who didn't write the song, had nothing to do with the arrangement, plays no instrument other than her own voice, who had to be taught how to dance, but who coincidentally has a hot body (usually minimally concealed). It's just performance, nothing creative in it at all. A good composition out lives any performance.

 

Same thing for the boy bands. Same formula, different gender.

 

Don.

[Dave Bryce]

Originally posted by DrMarkAndersen@excite.com:

I'm really dating myself here, but "Hooked on a feeling" makes me hurl..

 

Which version? The original B.J. Thomas one, or the Blue Suede version with the Hooga Chaka bit?

 

dB

[Rod S]

Where to start? I'm terrible with song names, so I'll be generic.

 

Any boy band stuff. present and past.

 

Any STYX songs were he tries to pull that 'high' voice (whatever's it's called). ie beginning of 'come sail away'

 

Any brittney Spears. What the hell do they do with her voice anyways? I rather have my teeth pulled off one at a time than listen to her voice.

 

Most of the recent madonna stuff. Specially the re recording of American Pie.

 

Any Enrique Iglesias stuff (my exwife loved him arghhhh)

 

Meat Loaf's "I'd do anything for love, but I wouldn't do that".

 

Olivia Newton John's "Physical"

 

Ok my brain is going to shut down if I keep thinking about this.

[Dan Worley]

Nominated to the TOP TEN SUCK LIST:

 

"We Are The World"

"Do You Know The Way To San Jose"

"We've Only Just Begun"

___________________________________

 

I could go on and on.

 

What was the name of the song that had these lyrics? I think it was done by someone called Tommy Jack, or something like that?

 

We had joy we had fun

we had seasons in the sun

but the stars we could reach

were just starfish on the beach

 

I absolutely hated that song.

 

Burt Bacharach's stuff makes me pretty green in the face.

 

Regards,

 

Dan Worley

[Eric Worthington]

Name of the song:

"Seasons in the Sun," Rod McKuen, made big by Terry Jacks.

 

There's already another thread, BTW, that has spent some time discussing the merits (and lack thereof) of "MacArthur Park."

[Dave Bryce]

"Seasons in the Sun" is also one of my all-time most hated songs, along with the other one sort of like it that came out during that same period called "Last Song" by someone named Edward Bear. Ugggghhhh.... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/puke/barf.gif

 

dB

[Michael Jones]

OH BOYS & GIRLS....

 

You are forgetting the worst vocalist of all time. This guy sucks big time! Who am I referring to? William Shatner of course, and that lousy ass rendition of classics(?) he performed (VERY LOOSE TRANSLATION!) on those terrible Priceline.com commercials. Talking about making me hurl!.......

 

Some people are so bad that the mention of their songs doesn't do justice to their rep. These people or groups (that suck) are as follows:

 

Barry Manilow

BeeGees

Loretta Lynn

Johnny Cash

Britney Spears

Christina Aguielara (whatever!)

Janet Jackson

ALL RAP!!!!

Dingaling that did MacArthur Park

Anything by Rod Stewart

Michael Jackson

ABBA

The Bay City Rollers

All Simon & Garfunkel (best thing that ever happened was the split!)

Back Street Boys

All Boy Bands

Any Pop Divas

All Girl Bands

The idiot that does the "how do you like me now" crap!

Janis Joplin

 

Just a few of my dislikes!

 

Any one remember the Seals & Crofts instrumental "Flying Clouds"?

 

Also liked "Humming Bird"

 

Remember the Music!

 

Michael

 

This message has been edited by midirat on 05-08-2001 at 05:32 PM

[Dave Bryce]

There are two current songs getting a ton of airplay that I despise as well.

 

One is that Shaggy version of "Angel of the Morning", where he kind of makes up the lyrics as he goes...Jesus, guys, if you're gonna get paid for being a musician, and you want to to cover a song, is it asking too much for you to please take the time to learn the bleeding lyrics? I think this annoying movement started with Puff Daddy's version of "Every Breath You Take".

 

The other one, I don't even know who does it. It starts with a 1-4-5 minor arpeggio pattern played on a bell-y synth program, then this girl sings one or two lines with this one little melody, and spends the rest of the song going " na na na na na na na na...na na" over the same melody married to My First Drum Machine Program - you know - Techno Disco...mm-tss, mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss. It's one redeeming feature is a Eurythmics type break in the middle, but then she starts right in again with " na na na na na na na na...na na"

 

I don't know who it is, but I hate it to bits.

 

dB

[Dave Bryce]

Originally posted by midirat:

You are forgetting the worst vocalist of all time. This guy sucks big time! Who am I referring to? William Shatner of course, and that lousy ass rendition of classics(?) he performed (VERY LOOSE TRANSLATION!) on those terrible Priceline.com commercials. Talking about making me hurl!.......

 

Actually, his worst transgression was a recording he did many years ago of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" on a record with other celebs doing covers. Nimoy is on the same album doing "If I had a Hammer", if I remember correctly.

 

It's hysterical if you're stoned...

 

dB

[Dan Worley]

Someone mentioned the Bay City Rollers. Oh man, I'd rather chew aluminum foil.

 

Do any of you remember those big furry creatures on Saturday Morning T.V. called the Banana Splits (or Splitz)? Seriously, did that really happen, or was I on acid at the time and just thought that it happened?

 

Regards,

 

Dan Worley

[Gus Lozada]

I can say about myself that I can listen to any kind of music for about 30 minutes... after that If I really don't like it, I just leave.

 

The following did not pass the 30 minutes test:

 

1) Laura Brannigan's (whatever is written) "GLORIA"

2) Any Door's song featuring a LONG solo of Ray Manzarek... ughhh

3) Anything from Ricky Martin or Enrique Iglesias(dang...)

 

The world just needed to know it...

GusTraX@yahoo.com

[Dave Bryce]

Originally posted by dan@earthen.com:

Do any of you remember those big furry creatures on Saturday Morning T.V. called the Banana Splits (or Splitz)? Seriously, did that really happen, or was I on acid at the time and just thought that it happened?

Trivia Buff dB at your service... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/happy/copper.gif

 

Ah, yes. The Splits. Fleegle (red dog), Bingo (monkey), Drooper(yellow dog), and Baby Snorks (elephant).

 

Am I a nerd for knowing that, or what?

 

I actually have a big question about the Banana Splits that no one has ever been able to answer for me. Their theme song and the Bob Marley song "Buffalo Soldier" have the exact (and I mean EXACT) same hook, except the Splits theme went La la la, while the Bob Marley song went Ho yo yo. Which came first?

 

I figure Bob was smokin' a fatty on Saturday morning while the TV was on in the background...

 

dB

[Rod S]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

I think this annoying movement started with Puff Daddy's version of "Every Breath You Take".

dB

 

I almost choked someone when they said that it was cool that someone had 'improved' on the Police song.

 

Similarly, the other song that used to drive me up the wall was "Ice Ice baby". Beyond being a shitty song, it copied the riff from a song I really like "Under pressure" by Queen, and till this day when people here the bass line they still associate that with V.I. I've literally almost thrown people out of the car when I have that song on the cd player (I'm a big queen fan) and someone says, 'yuck, you still listen to vanilla ice?'

 

Rod

[Dave Bryce]

Similarly, the other song that used to drive me up the wall was "Ice Ice baby". Beyond being a shitty song, it copied the riff from a song I really like "Under pressure" by Queen, and till this day when people here the bass line they still associate that with V.I.

 

It's actually much worse than that, Rod.

 

Because the Vanilla Ice clip included an extra note (he added the last note of the riff on to the front of the riff), that wanker had the unmitigated temerity to claim that he WROTE that riff.

 

Jeez... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/angry/frusty.gif

 

Record companies should die for signing and promoting acts like that. Sorry, but it's truly how I feel.

 

dB

[Faruk]

Some times I wonder is there anything latly that is worth listening?

 

For me for sure there are Bon Jovi, and that dreadfull chorus in Macarena, boy did I hated that summer. Of course, there are also all kinds of Puffy like masacers of some good songs.

 

Well, I`ve been thinking. Older and authorative musicians are partly responsible for bad things in music. Let`s just take Lou Reed for an example: He said that song is good if it only has one chord in it`s harmony, If it has two chordes then it`s ugly, and if it has three chords or more you should not probably play outside asylum. That was pretty iresponsibble from the musician of his stature, `cos guys, just look what we got because of it: OASIS!

[Faruk]

Some times I wonder is there anything latly that is worth listening?

 

For me for sure there are Bon Jovi, and that dreadfull chorus in Macarena, boy did I hated that summer. Of course, there are also all kinds of Puffy like masacers of some good songs.

 

Well, I`ve been thinking. Older and authorative musicians are partly responsible for bad things in music. Let`s just take Lou Reed for an example: He said that song is good if it only has one chord in it`s harmony, If it has two chordes then it`s ugly, and if it has three chords or more you should not probably play outside asylum. That was pretty iresponsibble from the musician of his stature, `cos guys, just look what we got because of it: OASIS!

[Dan Worley]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

Ah, yes. The Splits. Fleegle (red dog), Bingo (monkey), Drooper(yellow dog), and Baby Snorks (elephant).

 

Whoa!!! Get out of my flashback.

 

Gee, thanks, Dave. I don't know whether my regard for you went up or down. I mean, it's amazing that you know this stuff, but... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/eek.gif

 

Regards,

 

Dan Worley

[joegerardi]

A lot of you younger guys should be VERY happy that you were not alive during the disco era. It was good for one thing though- if you were too drunk, just put on some disco, and voilá: Instant ralph!

[Steve LeBlanc]

Which Disco is the question. I think there was a lot of great 70s funk that bordered on Disco...unfortunatly this great music often gets lumped in with "The BEE GEES" and "KC and the Sunshine Band."

 

For instance, I thought groups like "Earth Wind & Fire", "Average White Band", "Kool & the Gang", early "Prince" were fantastic.

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

Celine Dion, Celine Dion, CELINE DION!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

 

How could a thread on sucky music go this many posts without a Celine hater? Sheesh! Pick a song, any sing, but lead the suckfest with "My Heart Will Go On (Titanic Theme)".

 

Other worst of the worst:

 

- "Bad" by Michael Jackson. And it is. Bad. Horrible, even.

- "Babe" by Styx. The worst example of Dennis De Young's insanely gay voice.

- "The Logical Song" by Supertramp. Though I enjoyed roller skating to this in 1978, my stomach now turns the second that Wurly line comes on the classic rock station. I have to dive for my radio dial before I puke.

 

There's plenty more, but I'm feeling a little ill just recalling those three. I'll stop now.

 

- Jeff

[SolipsismX]

okay, aside from the obvious and safe songs that people hate, (like rap rock and boy bands), here are the bands and songs I can't stand and I bet a lot of people will disagree.

Okay, bands I hate nowadays... Anything retro. Now before anybody says all music has been done and it's all retro, I want to say blatant retro with NO twists except for updated recording technology and maybe some modern lyrics. This would be the new swing movement or anything like that. DIE ZOOT RIOT!! What's a zoot??

Ska: (which is essentially punk an reggae). I can't STAND sublime and the coolest story was me in a car saying "man this band sucks, I wish the lead singer would die" and my friend says "He DID die." Haha, then I said, "man, billy corgan sucks, I wish he'd die." I'm still waiting for that one...

i can't stand blues, jazz or any of that kind of music integrated into pop as a compelete genre or premise of a band. This means YOU blues travellers and dave matthews bands. I HATE "CRASH"!!!

I don't like a lot of classic rock. Let me just say the only bands from the 60/70s I DO like are bowie, queen, black sabbath and pink floyd (and a few songs from soe other bands). jimi hendrix makes me want to kill myself. I know a lot of people like him here, but how can you just improvise layed back guitar for an hour? The same thing goes for the doors and their layed back improvised organ solos. God, talk about boring.

I don't like a lot early new wave 80's. come eileen drives me crazy. although sadly, my guilty pleasures are cheesy 80's ballads (PHIL COLLINS RULES!!!)

I also can't stand industrial music. NIN is my fave band, but I don't consider them to be industrial. I'm talking about the music with a hard house beat with guitars being turned all the way up the whole song with no dynamics.

I also don't like any techno that hasn't been on rephlex or atsrelwerks (this is only coincidence, and I'll give others a chance).

i also hate generic overplayed classcal pieces. Probably because they're the most overplayed songs in history. I'm talking about songs like ludwig's 5th or william tell etc. You know, the classical songs you heard at age 3 and haven't stopped hearing.

Okay I'm done

[Steve LeBlanc]

SolipsismX,

 

WOW, I can't tell if I agree or disagree. You obviously haven't listened to much Hendrix, he did often play laid back solos BUT if the solo lasted longer than 2 minutes it was anything but! It was normally beyond aggressive. I think I agree with most of the other stuff you said with two MAJOR exceptions.

 

1. Phil Collins Pop Ballads are amongst the worst dreck ever recorded...I actually have puked several times when his music was playing (of course I was pretty buzzed http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif). Phil is amongst the greatest drummers of all time though, BRAND X just blows me away.

 

2. NIN has to be the most overated artist of all time...I'm always amazed when people call him genius.

 

I'm right with ya on the other stuff though: Ska, New Swing Pop Crap (c'mon these kids obviously don't know nuthin bout Benny Goodman), Blues Traveler, Dave Mathews Band (but the drummer is pretty cool).

 

This message has been edited by Steve LeBlanc on 05-08-2001 at 09:06 PM

[SolipsismX]

you know I've actually heard every jimi album (besides the weird live or b -sides kida albums). The reason I hate him so much is because i had this stoner friend who played old 60 music over and over again. Jimi, dylan and the doors were his fvaorites and I went on several road trips with him. taste aside, I think it's werid how you call his stuff aggressive though. Maybe I AM forgetting something, but his music is just so layed back to me. When I think of aggressive solos, i think of tony iomi (did i spell that right) and stuff like that. Even machine gun didnt sound very aggressive. It was aggressive compared to his other stuff, but it still felt mellow and the kind of stuf you'd get high to or whatever.

As for 80's ballads, I DID say they're a guilty pleasure. I KNOW they're terrible, I just can't help it.

NIN being overated? Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but have you ever heard a whole NIN album? I mean the reason everybody likes NIN is cause they change their sound a lot. Not only by album, but by every song on every album. The songs themselves change a lot too. Not always in the actual format, but almost always with timbre and a new twist. Listen to TDS or the fragile. They vary more than any other album I've ever heard. if you've only heard pretty hate machine or broken, you should try the other two. Although I still like pretty hate machine and broken because they may seem simple now, they were pretty advanced for their time (wow, the pop genre known as industrial now has a band WITH pop hooks? i can actually listen to this now)

Who do you like that's "modern" or with this decade (the 90's count of course)?

[marino]

Dave, you kind of opened a can of worms here! Like Faruk, if I think of contemporary pop music, I find that I would rather not listen to about 90% of it. Most pop stuff, if you can hear under production gloss, its stripped down state, so to speak, is music for lobotomized people. And the rhythms... loops, loops, loops. Music for dancing? Doesn't make me feel like moving, usually. It's not casual that I can't remember the hook of most current pop songs; I think my brain developed a sort of "safety filter" in order for me not to go too insane.

 

So I'll go very far in time for an example. It was around '72, I was 13 and in my (short) Beatles period. An unreleased single from the Beatles came out! I rushed to the record shop, and came back home with "All Together Now". Man, that was the worst song I had heard in my life! It was so silly that I gave the 45 to my sister and didn't look back. The worst part is, I remember it note for note to this day...!

[Rod S]

Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

It's actually much worse than that, Rod.

 

Because the Vanilla Ice clip included an extra note (he added the last note of the riff on to the front of the riff), that wanker had the unmitigated temerity to claim that he WROTE that riff.

 

Jeez... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/angry/frusty.gif

 

Record companies should die for signing and promoting acts like that. Sorry, but it's truly how I feel.

 

dB

 

 

Yeah, now I remember. For some masoquistic (if that's the right word) reason I watched part of the vanilla ice "behind the music" and I remember him talking about it.." yo I didn't copy that riff.. their's goes like 'dum dum dum duru dum dum..' mine goes dum-dum dum dum duru dum dum..."

 

I agree about the record companies.

 

Growing up in Brazil, once in a while there would be a 'hit' in the radio which is nothing more than an exact copy of a hit here, but with different lyrics. Didn't happen that often, but it was also interesting how they advertised it as their own song.

 

Rod