Chet Atkins makes my day.

[SteveNathan]

Long time KCers know I’ve gotten some fierce sh*t here for occasionally expressing my dislike for some seemingly revered Jazz musicians.  So I smiled when a friend told me that Chet Atkins once referred to a musician as “he plays like he’s double parked” 😆

👍

[CEB]

Dad thought Chet was the gold standard.   Dad would comment on other players and say ‘they work too hard when playing,  they need to relax like When Chet does it. ‘
 

[D. Gauss]

My cousin spent a lot of time with Chet. Did arrangements for him, etc..  Classic, oft-told Chet story:

 

A music gearhead fan comes up to Chet while he's sitting and doing some warm-up playing, staring at Chet's big beautiful Gretsch geetar.

 

Gearhead dude: "Man Mr. Atkins, that guitar sure sounds amazing!"

 

Chet smiles, casually takes the guitar off and puts it into the guitar stand: "Oh yeah? How's it sound now?"

[Docbop]

1 hour ago, D. Gauss said:

My cousin spent a lot of time with Chet. Did arrangements for him, etc..  Classic, oft-told Chet story:

 

A music gearhead fan comes up to Chet while he's sitting and doing some warm-up playing, staring at Chet's big beautiful Gretsch geetar.

 

Gearhead dude: "Man Mr. Atkins, that guitar sure sounds amazing!"

 

Chet smiles, casually takes the guitar off and puts it into the guitar stand: "Oh yeah? How's it sound now?"

 

I've heard similar story credited to Barney Kessel and others, but doesn't matter who they say said it, it is true it's always true it's the player not the gear. 

[jazzpiano88]

That's a damn good insult.  Equally biting is Walter Becker's  "He's not so much a guitar player as a guitar owner".  

Then again, Walter did wander into some Jazz. 

[stoken6]

8 hours ago, jazzpiano88 said:

That's a damn good insult.  Equally biting is Walter Becker's  "He's not so much a guitar player as a guitar owner".  

Then again, Walter did wander into some Jazz. 

I saw Noel McCalla (Manfred Mann's Earth Band) in a local pub in my youth. His guitar player told me that the guy behind the kit "was more of a drum owner than a drummer". 

 

Cheers, Mike

[D. Gauss]

On stage setbreak insult from a since deceased, A-List NYC drummer about the bass player on the gig (who also owned a hair salon):

 

"As far as his bass playing goes, John's a really good hair stylist."

[KuruPrionz]

I've heard and played with many musicians who simply fail to understand / implement dynamics or silence into their music. I call that "flatlining". 

It's possibly the most important aspect of being a musician, knowing when to play softly, thunderously or simply play nothing. 

[ProfD]

11 hours ago, stoken6 said:

...the guy behind the kit "was more of a drum owner than a drummer". 

Surely, every gigging musician has encountered those types of musicians for any instrument. 

 

I remember a drummer showing up to a rehearsal.  He brought in cases containing a beautiful drumkit. 

 

The drumkit looked brand new and like it had never been played.  That was red flag #1. 

 

The drummer was wearing fingerless gloves.  Red flag #2.

 

Immediately, I whispered to the guitarist who had brought him in not to get his own hopes up to high about the drummer's playing ability. 

 

Sure enough, after what seemed like an hour for the guy to set up, I called a tune with a basic groove. 

 

Any real drummer should be able to crush it. Dude couldn't.  Red flag #3.

 

Counted off the tune and I just looked at the guitarist who had called him.  Partly to keep myself from laughing hysterically. 

 

That drummer should have been double-parked with the engine running. 

 

If a drumkit had already been set-up in the rehearsal space, he would have  been dismissed 45 seconds after count off.🤣😎

[wineandkeyz]

Paraphrasing a dig someone told our bass player (in jest) a few years ago, "You can't play worth a damn, but at least your tone sucks."

[jazzpiano88]

I got the “Plays like he’s double parked” as kind of specific insult that I had to think about.    He plays out front and is both oblivious and uncaring as to what the rest of the band is doing.   

[jazzpiano88]

8 hours ago, ProfD said:

That drummer should have been double-parked with the engine running.

Once played with a jazz drummer that was described as ‘washing the dishes’ (both visually and sonically). 

[Threadslayer]

20 hours ago, wineandkeyz said:

"You can't play worth a damn, but at least your tone sucks."

I had a contractor working on the house once tell me that, "We do lousy work, but we're slow."

Same sort of humor.