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You here have never really personally had the honor, privilege and pleasure of meeting my wife ALICIA, who sadly passed this past Tues. (Dec. 11)...


But, as this is her favorite time of year, she'd hate that this news would dampen anyone's holiday spirit in any way. So, in honor, do your very best to have the best Christmas possible and love those close to you limitless, as she has always done.


All of us in her family, and some who aren't, hope to do as well as we can this Christmas and beyond.


I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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Whitefang, brother, I am deeply sorry. I promise to do as you ask, for her sake, and yours, just promise us you'll do the same.


Wishing you peace, my friend.

"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King





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Whitefang, I noticed your absence from the forum and thought about you and your wife. You were there every step of the way helping her with her medical issues as the best husband you could possibly be. You know you have my deepest condolences and best wishes. I lost my uncle, who was very close to me at this time of year back in '69 to the war in Viet Nam. I think of him every Christmas. Remembering him every year has become a part of my silent holiday, which has kept his spirit alive in my heart. I hope you will always have fond memories each and every year, of all the love you and your wife have shared together...
Take care, Larryz
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Enjoy the sweet memories of the heart. my friend. She is an angel looking down at you always.


Facing our mortality is tough and personal.


One day, we will all meet at the Cocktail Bar in the Sky.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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While we may seem at odds at times please understand this:

The diffs between ppl are far less in fact than they often seem in our minds.

We draw lines between ppl in 2 ways---lines that separate or lines that connect.

I deeply empathize w/how you must feel but recognize that's pale comfort at best.

"Words flow out like rain...into pools of sorrow..."

"Drifting on a sea of heartbreak...sailing for yer love"

"Crash on the levee, Mama, water's gonna overflow / go down in the flood, gonna be yer own fault

sugar for sugar / salt for salt

Oh yer gonna miss yer best friend / gonna have to find a new friend somehow"

Words are sometimes just words.


I think that, no matter how well-intended, philosophic platitudes, even from our closest friends & companions, don't make up the loss from those within our true Magic Circle....so I won't even try to sell you on anything except this:

Music has always been my strength, as it may be for all of us unified here.


To echo what DanZ wrote above, those who are alive in our hearts are as close as ever while they remain there.


No matter how alone you may feel, do not be in haste to join those you may miss.

That will happen inevitably, anyway.

I suspect you were a strong support for her.

Stay strong b/c no matter how much you may feel disheartened there may be others in your life who need you do be here for them.

Be here for them & be here for yerself.




If that don't help, I hope this might....



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Condolences, Whiefang.


My maternal Grandmother passed away on Christmas back in the 1980s, while we were en route to visit her and other family for the holiday. To this day, Christmas remains a very low time for my Mom. With time, I hope you and yours can handle your loss better.



Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ


My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx



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I thank all of you. And d? Alicia wasn't really all that much of a Beatles fan, but she did like "Across The Universe", and "In My Life" when she heard it as "the song" at my cousin's wedding. I only wish she were here to translate that London symphony/Hendrix clip for me.... ;)


Danny, my Mother passed a few days before Thanksgiving, '99, so I know how your Mother might feel. As for Christmas, lie I stated, it was Alicia's favorite time of year, and like also stated, she'd HATE for her passing to dampen our holiday spirit, and out of all of our deep love and respect for her, won't allow it to. anyway...



I hope the following will help any understand what it means( or meant) to me. And I know that any of you that have a strong love for a spouse, mate, companion or whichever, will already understand....



When I first met Alicia, I was in such a dark place and foolishly thought I hid it well. But she saw it immediately and snatched me out of there so fast and held my heart so tight it was impossible for me to ever be able to, or even THINK about going back. So really, she saved my life. And even though she let go of life, her grip on my heart is still strong, and any grief I might feel is diluted by the fact she was in my life at all and the good fortune I had in her being in my life. And the good memories I and all the surviving "army" of nieces, nephews, sisters, cousins and down to mild acquaintances have will keep us all warm for years. She lost a younger sister to an aneurysm 28 years ago the thought of her being back together with her kind of softens the pain. Now, for some time now, people have used the phrase "soulmate" to describe a loved one. I always though the word was hackneyed and contrived. And in this case woefully inadequate. I'd have to say that Alicia was NEVER my "soulmate".


She was my SOUL.


I thank any and all who expressed condolences, and hope I don't have to return the favor for a LONG long time.




I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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She was indeed DBM, and still is. And don't think her lack of physical presence has stopped me from STILL talking to her, saying "good morning" or "good night, sweetheart".


Hell. I STILL say things to my Mother and Grandmother, who I like to think are having a wonderful time( wherever they may be, depending on what you believe) with Alicia now with them.


;) In a way, I'm surprised my EARS haven't burst into flame! :laugh:


I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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Yep, all that and more...


As she would hate that her passing dampens anyone's Christmas spirit, She would prefer that the sadness last as long as a day or so, then for us to get back to pressing on and often holding her(and any other lost loved ones) warmly in our hearts.


Now, I of course(along with hr sisters) will probably be sad about it for many years to come, but I'll do my best to not let it rule my day to day existence.


I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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