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The Laws of Moe


stoken6

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(With apologies to Moe)

 

1. Thou shalt never leave keyboard amplification in the hands of a sound contractor

2. If thou usest the transpose button, thou will forget to to turn it off for a concert-pitch tune

3. A keyboard player is never the one to be too loud

4. X-stand fails will get you eventually

5. Your purpose in life is to show guitar players how to play that #11 chord

 

Carry on...

 

Cheers, Mike.

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Thou will be too holy to show off for the women

 

Thou will NOT have forgiveness for the unholy guitar players that show off for the women

 

Thou will worship no other instrument but keyboards

 

Thou will honor the prophets, Emerson, Wakeman & Lord

 

Thou SHALL steal music riffs, techniques and ideas

 

I don't know if these are laws of Moe or not. My apologies to Moe also.

FunMachine.

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Here's what I thought they were ...

 

1. Thou shalt refrain from playing a piano part on unweighted keys, nor synth/organ on weighted keys.

 

2. Thou shalt refrain from use of the vile transpose button, lest thou be smitten with forgetting to reset it.

 

3. Thou shalt strive to take tasteful solos that never runneth on.

 

4. Thou shalt help the lesser guitarist musicians understand the difference between a C6 and an Am7. And tell the bass player what note to play.

 

5. Thou shalt not tolerate unprofessional musicians that harsh your vibe, nor clueless venue owners.

 

6. Thou shalt not trust any equipment (keys, amps, mixers) other than your own. All liquids shall be kept at a safe distance.

 

7. Thou shalt have plenty of wattage in reserve, but refrain from using it.

 

8. Thou shalt never, ever play through a KC series amp, lest your sounds become permanently unclean.

Want to make your band better?  Check out "A Guide To Starting (Or Improving!) Your Own Local Band"

 

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The prophets Wakeman, Lord and especially Emerson spent a LOT of time showing off for the women. What do you think the organ wrestling/knife stabbing thing was about? Or the open chest costumes? Or the sequined capes? Or the windmill sweeps? Did you really think that was for the pimply faced, pubescent, aspiring, mostly male keyboardists in the audience? And, by the way, I used to resemble that remark.
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Here's what I thought they were ...

 

1. Thou shalt refrain from playing a piano part on unweighted keys, nor synth/organ on weighted keys.

 

2. Thou shalt refrain from use of the vile transpose button, lest thou be smitten with forgetting to reset it.

 

3. Thou shalt strive to take tasteful solos that never runneth on.

 

4. Thou shalt help the lesser guitarist musicians understand the difference between a C6 and an Am7. And tell the bass player what note to play.

 

5. Thou shalt not tolerate unprofessional musicians that harsh your vibe, nor clueless venue owners.

 

6. Thou shalt not trust any equipment (keys, amps, mixers) other than your own. All liquids shall be kept at a safe distance.

 

7. Thou shalt have plenty of wattage in reserve, but refrain from using it.

 

8. Thou shalt never, ever play through a KC series amp, lest your sounds become permanently unclean.

 

^ This

 

:)

 

9. Thou shalt wrap your cables for transport with care.

 

10. Thou shalt not discriminate against mini keys.

 

:whistle:;)

 

 

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9. Thou shalt wrap your cables for transport with care.

 

10. Thou shalt not discriminate against mini keys.

 

:whistle:;)

 

 

And:

 

11. Thou shalt not allow any members of the audience upon the stage without permission.

When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray.
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And if thy left hand reacheth for the root note of a chord: cut it off lest the blood of the bass player should be driven to an unnatural pounding in his veins..

 

And if thy right foot reacheth for the damper pedal too often: cut it off lest it cause offence to the ears of the discerning member of the audience.

 

And if thee ever feeleth tempted to resteth thyself on a stool during a rock gig: ..... ( ...... :pop: .......maybe not.....)...... Standeth up immediately and get thee down and boogieth....

 

"Turn your fingers into a dust rag and keep them keys clean!" ;) Bluzeyone
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12. Thou shalt seek out the pocket.

 

12a. Upon finding the pocket, thou shalt strive to remain there.

 

13. Thou shalt tell oneself, (when a young maiden gazes adoringly after a particularly stimulating musical interlude), yes, I still have it.

 

Some music I've recorded and played over the years with a few different bands

Tommy Rude Soundcloud

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The vileness of Roland KCs must somehow make its way into the canon.

 

It was Moe not Tony who originally composed the Rule of the chainsaw.

"It doesn't have to be difficult to be cool" - Mitch Towne

 

"A great musician can bring tears to your eyes!!!

So can a auto Mechanic." - Stokes Hunt

 

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Thou shall keep the trebuchet handy at all times, lest thou encounter a CP-70 DX7.

 

Fixed.

Thanks. I now recall Moe loaned his trebuchet to Kanker for the CP-70.

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

- George Bernard Shaw

 

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14. When thou art moving gear, guard thy hands with roadie gloves.

Do not turn from this instruction lest thy fingers be carelessly smashed.

'Someday, we'll look back on these days and laugh; likely a maniacal laugh from our padded cells, but a laugh nonetheless' - Mr. Boffo.

 

We need a barfing cat emoticon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I CONFESS: Twice I tried to use the transpose button in a show and both times I forgot to reset the key to concert FOR THE NEXT SONG. I'm sorry; I was young and foolish. I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!! WAH!!

J.S. Bach Well Tempered Klavier

The collected works of Scott Joplin

Ray Charles Genius plus Soul

Charlie Parker Omnibook

Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life

Weather Report Mr. Gone

 

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I had always thought the main law was to serve Kronos with all thy heart. And to love thy neighbors by having them get one as well.

:roll::roll::roll:

My goodness Theo, ..... that was completely hilarious! :D

 

 

"Turn your fingers into a dust rag and keep them keys clean!" ;) Bluzeyone
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15. Thou shalt only gig on stages that give you sufficient elbow room.

 

16. Thou shalt not hide thy light at the back corner of the stage or playing area for you are the light (and sound) of the world, so let thy light and sound shine!

 

:)

 

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