analogika Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Just found this on another forum and desperately need to share it with someone who can't physically hit me: In celebration of a new trade alliance, the ancient Chinese Emperor hosted a grand feast for a Mayan caravan that had arrived at the Forbidden City. The Emperor's personal master chef prepared an exquisite dinner, with the highlight of the evening being a special dish: General Tso's Lion. After the meal, the curious leader of the Mayan caravan approached the chef and asked, "Why would you sacrifice such a majestic beast for a simple group of traders like us?" The chef smiled and replied, "Because you're Mayan... I wok the lion." 1 3 1 Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate stubb Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Ouch Quote Moe --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.F.N. Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Hmm, missing a reference here or something, this flew right over my head.. 🤪 Quote "You live every day. You only die once." Where is Major Tom? - - - - - PC3, HX3 w. B4D, 61SLMkII, SL73, Prologue 16, KingKORG, Opsix, MPC Key 37, DM12D, Argon8m, EX5R, Toraiz AS-1, IK Uno, Toraiz SP-16, Erica LXR-02, QY-700, SQ64, Beatstep Pro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Motif Max Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 I believe this is the reference. 1 Quote Yamaha: Motif XF8, MODX7, YS200, CVP-305, CLP-130, YPG-235, PSR-295, PSS-470 | Roland: Fantom 7, JV-1000 Kurzweil: PC3-76| Hammond: SK Pro 73 | Korg: Triton LE 76, N1R, X5DR | Emu: Proteus/1 | Casio: CT-370 | Novation: Launchkey 37 MK3 | Technics: WSA1R Former: Emu Proformance Plus & Mo'Phatt, Korg Krome 61, Roland Fantom XR & JV-1010, Yamaha MX61, Behringer CAT, Kurzweil PC4 (88) Assorted electric & acoustic guitars and electric basses | Roland TD-17 KVX | Alesis SamplePad Pro | Assorted organs, accordions, other instruments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MathOfInsects Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Sometimes "sorry" is just not enough. 1 5 Quote Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material. www.joshweinstein.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old No7 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 49 minutes ago, J.F.N. said: Hmm, missing a reference here or something, this flew right over my head... Yup, I got it the 2nd time when I read it with a funky accent... 38 minutes ago, MathOfInsects said: Sometimes "sorry" is just not enough. Yup, that's true too... Old No7 Quote Yamaha MODX6 * Hammond SK Pro 73 * Roland Fantom-08 * Crumar Mojo Pedals * Mackie Thump 12As * Tascam DP-24SD * JBL 305 MkIIs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.F.N. Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 18 minutes ago, Old No7 said: Yup, I got it the 2nd time when I read it with a funky accent... Still don't see the joke... feels like the linguistic association play is way too out of context to be funny... 🤪 1 Quote "You live every day. You only die once." Where is Major Tom? - - - - - PC3, HX3 w. B4D, 61SLMkII, SL73, Prologue 16, KingKORG, Opsix, MPC Key 37, DM12D, Argon8m, EX5R, Toraiz AS-1, IK Uno, Toraiz SP-16, Erica LXR-02, QY-700, SQ64, Beatstep Pro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Emm Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 It reminds me of an old Monty Python exchange: "(One slice of rat tart without so much rat in it later...)" "APPALLING!" The fine author Spider Robinson said the definition of a good pun is seeing people hold their noses and run from the room. 😜 Quote "Well, the 60s were fun, but now I'm payin' for it." ~ Stan Lee, "Ant-Man and the Wasp" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHarrell Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 I have sold my possessions and assigned a power of attorney on account of the cancer I spontaneously developed reading this joke. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindaru Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Why do hurricanes have eyes? So they can see where they are going. 🥁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightbg Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 Lifetime ban, no appeal.(Anilogika, not Lindaru) 1 2 Quote 1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP "It needs a Hammond" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Williams Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 @Analogica, that is gonna cost you. And you can't put it on your credit card either -- You will have to pay in Cash. 2 3 Quote -Tom Williams {First Name} {at} AirNetworking {dot} com PC4-7, PX-5S, AX-Edge, PC361 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.F.N. Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 The man comes around... Quote "You live every day. You only die once." Where is Major Tom? - - - - - PC3, HX3 w. B4D, 61SLMkII, SL73, Prologue 16, KingKORG, Opsix, MPC Key 37, DM12D, Argon8m, EX5R, Toraiz AS-1, IK Uno, Toraiz SP-16, Erica LXR-02, QY-700, SQ64, Beatstep Pro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted September 13 Author Share Posted September 13 13 hours ago, MathOfInsects said: Sometimes "sorry" is just not enough. Like I said: I shared it here because, to my knowledge, none of you are in the position to physically hurt me for it. 😄 3 Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamPro Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 Do you know what happens to people who tell bad jokes? They get drawn and quoted. And those who feel a bit drawn commonly suffer from Disney spells. Sort of like becoming crestfallen after dropping your toothpaste. Like a balding Satan, there will be hell toupee. Feel free to skip the theater performance of this pun; it is little more than a play on words. In search of better jokes, I went to a Spoonerism Conference, where the rumors of food shortages turned out to be just a lack of pies. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thethirdapple Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 11 hours ago, lightbg said: Lifetime ban, no appeal.(Anilogika, not Lindaru) Ouch, right cause physical pain heals and only leaves a small scar, ONLINE punishment is FOREVER 🫡 STOP ONLINE BULLIES make it real means girls unite PEACE _ _ _ Quote When musical machines communicate, we had better listen… http://youtube.com/@ecoutezpourentendre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old No7 Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 16 hours ago, analogika said: Just found this on another forum and desperately need to share it with someone who can't physically hit me: I know for sure there are much better jokes than THAT in Germany!!! During the days/nights I spent in Bad Waldsee with a friend -- and many beers, yah! -- most of the jokes told were the same ones I'd heard before, only Tom & Joe was changed to Hans & Stefan. Even when I didn't catch every word (as Mein Deutsch ist nicht sehr gut), I could always tell when the punchline was delivered! And most you couldn't post on this forum anyhow... Due to the foul language ("Schimpfwörter")... 😄 Old No7 Quote Yamaha MODX6 * Hammond SK Pro 73 * Roland Fantom-08 * Crumar Mojo Pedals * Mackie Thump 12As * Tascam DP-24SD * JBL 305 MkIIs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoB3 Posted September 13 Share Posted September 13 Raises the Q... Is there an off-topic/dad-joke section here? If there is already then cool (can't wait to ignore it). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogika Posted September 14 Author Share Posted September 14 7 hours ago, JoJoB3 said: Raises the Q... Is there an off-topic/dad-joke section here? If there is already then cool (can't wait to ignore it). this was, er, music-related. kind of. Quote "The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk) The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonglow Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 15 hours ago, analogika said: …none of you are in the position to physically hurt me for it. 😄 Looks like it’s time to give Moose and Rocco a call. 2 Quote "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveCoscia Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 That's pretty bad. Quote Steve Coscia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrokeys Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 Some of you people deserve this...What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones.. People in Abu Dhabi do. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Emm Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 I raise my miserable hand as one who deserves it. Of course, my senility has reached a point where I enjoy a pun so bad it makes hairs fall from my nose like pine needles from a dried-out Xmas tree. You could call it masochism, but I gave up all pretense of apologizing for it once I realized I was a fan of "Rick & Morty." Dear Gawd, there's just no excusing that. In Spider Robinson's outstanding "Callahan's Crosstime Saloon" series, there is a story device known as Punday Night. The patrons hurl real stinkers back and forth until the group concedes defeat when someone breaks the curve. The winner gets his/her bar tab paid. 2 Quote "Well, the 60s were fun, but now I'm payin' for it." ~ Stan Lee, "Ant-Man and the Wasp" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voxpops Posted September 20 Share Posted September 20 A man came in the other day and asked: "Have you heard of the band Nine-Hundred-and-Ninety-Nine Megabytes?" "No." "I'm not surprised. They're always short of a gig." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindaru Posted September 20 Share Posted September 20 If Idaho were to legalize marijuana, they could open up a bar and restaurant with the title, "Spuds, Suds and Buds". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonizer Posted Monday at 11:58 PM Share Posted Monday at 11:58 PM One has to respect that the punch line included two completely separate bad puns. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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