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OT: What was the worst / silliest / strangest COMPLAINT that you've ever gotten?


latchmo

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Many years ago, I was told after an audition that I didn't get the gig because I played too many high notes. :confused:

 

Maybe I was trying to cut through the band, or maybe I was just playing too many damn high notes! :D

 

In any case, it was a good experience and ever since that day there is a little voice in the back of my head that tells me "don't play too many damn high notes"! ;)

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My guitarist has whined many times of the ugliness of my ear plugs.

 

Oh the woe :( .

Casio WK 3200: $250.00

Behringer Ultratone FX900: $180.00

Roadrunner bag: $40.00

Intrument cable: $25.00

Radioshack Stand: $10.00

Rocking out of the cheapest equipment you can find: priceless.

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Jamaican guy tore into me after the first tune. Didn't like my bubblin' skank. So I played the second tune with the volume off. He read me the riot act again. I ruined the groove. Sometimes you just know there's no way to make 'em happy.
--wmp
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OK, it was not me, but I'll share it for the sheer fun of it: On this band I played a couple of years ago we made a point out of being completely sincere about each other's performance on rehearsals. It was sort of a collective ego thing or something. For instance, right after our first take on a new song, each of us would chime in with remarks such as "it's a little too slow", "we did not nail the groove yet", "the bass is too low", etc.

 

Then one day we had this new bass player who had only joined up a couple of weeks before, and we all felt that bringing him into the "collective analysis" thing would be a good way to make him feel part of the band quicker. So it was that after the first time we played a new song (can't remember which one it was) we all chimed in with some remark. He didn't say a word. I pushed him like "c'mon, shoot it, I know you're thinking something, there's no point in keeping your perception to yourself", etc. He looked like he had something to say, but would not do it. We pushed him a little more and he shrugged "...ya sure, can I actually say whatever I am thinking right now"? We all screamed "of course" and the guy said "well, to be completely honest, I couldn't help noticing that Edu's (the guitar player) new haircut is lousy...I mean, it looks freakin' ugly :eek: !

 

We laughed so hard that I simply could not sing in key for the rest of the night. I'll never forget the naked, surprised look of our guitar player's face: "Now, is it really ugly?! I thought it was cool..."

 

Right then we learned that our bass player looks quiet, but can bring any house down with this kind of insane slashing remarks.

"I'm ready to sing to the world. If you back me up". (Lennon to his bandmates, in an inspired definition of what it's all about).
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Club owner said to me that my music was "too beautiful" for his place. :freak:

 

After a concert with my electric jazz group, someone from the audience said something to the extent of, "Very cool, but I prefer live music to sequenced music". Not one note was sequenced!

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COMPLAINT: Mother of the Bride :eek:

 

If you've ever played in a wedding band, you know that often, the biggest PITA is the mother of the bride.

 

So we got to the gig, set everything up, did an extensive sound check. Everything was perfect. We even had time to go grab a bite to eat.

 

When we got back and changed into our stage costumes it was only then that we discovered the mother of the bride decided that she wanted the band in another room completely. :mad:

 

There was nothing we could do except tear down, move the equipment, and set it all back up.

 

It was a long night. :rolleyes:

 

-------------

 

COMPLAINT: The stage doubled as a bathtub. :eek:

 

Almost the same thing happened when I was playing at a conference in NYC in May of 1993. We set up in a large room in the Hilton & Towers/Sheraton.

 

Right before the party was to start, I noticed the drips coming from the ceiling onto the stage. It didn't take long before they turned into a steady stream.

 

Luckily, an adjacent room was available, so we could move the party across the hall.

 

The cool thing was that some of the guests (company staff and conference volunteers) had started to arrive. We announced that we needed quick help to move all our equipment from here to there - the other room. We must've had fifty people grab something and move the stage and all the equipment to the neighboring room. With their help, we were moved and setup again in less than fifteen minutes... OK, maybe a little longer. But...

 

The hotel management offered free alcohol. Everybody drank too much. And because we started late, we continued for an hour overtime. Afterwards, many of us crowded into a little bar down the street. Eventually the bar owner wanted to close up. I think it was somewhere between 4 and 5 in the morning. I remember that many people had papers to present the next day at 8:00. They didn't even try to get some sleep at they continued to party back at the hotel.

 

I love it when a good plan with good people comes together. :)

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo
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I finally quit a job about three weeks ago that was rubbing me wrong for months. This restaurant has a nice stage and dance floor but the owner chose to put his grand piano in the middle of the room and put tables and chairs on the stage. The room has bad acoustics with nothing to absorb the sound. I was constantly getting requests to "turn down the piano" even though it's not amplified, the piano lid was closed, and I was playing as soft as I could. This is all going on despite the fact that the normal room noise is loud, multiple electric air fresheners in the room were always beeping for a battery change, the tv was on with the volume up in the bar area close by, the stereo in the kitchen is loud and the dining room gets blasted by it whenever a waiter passes in or out, the house phone rings all the time (client cell phones too)... I could go on and on. This same place has bands on Monday nights that are deafening (they play on the dance floor in front of the stage), and here I was playing solo piano on Friday nights and getting volume complaints. I finally got mad when once again I had a request to turn down and told the owner "no": he could move the people who complained away from the piano, do some acoustic treatment to the room, or put the piano back on stage where it belonged. That actually stopped the complaints for several weeks but nothing really changed and I got tired of the place and found a better gig. Last I heard the owner was trying to find some kind of padding to stuff into the underside of the piano.
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I've posted the first one below before, but it kind of applies here.

 

1) My band at one time had a rhythym guitarist\lead singer (who has since left the band) who shared singing duties with our drummer. So, we're on a break and this very hot woman comes up to our rhythym guitarist and says, "Your drummer sings much better than you do. At least you play guitar so you're not a total waste." [The compliment here being that at least he plays guitar.] We laughed our asses off about that one.

 

2) "You guys ROCK!!! Awesome guitar, awesome keyboards, awesome bass, and the drummer's there." I looked back at our drummer and he said, "Yeah, I heard that."

Steve (Stevie Ray)

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

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This happened back in the mid-80's, but I can still remember it because it seemed like such an odd remark.

 

We had a newly formed Country band and were taking just about any gig to get our name out. This one place was a small, VFW type bar, vinyl and chrome stools, a few tables, and a small crowd, mostly stag, blue collar guys watching tv. In the middle of the first set, the barmaid comes up to the stage and asks us to turn down, adding apologetically, "People don't really come here to listen to the music!"

 

What do you say to that?

:confused:

acctjm

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Many years ago, our jazz quartet was hired by the fiancee's mother to play very upscale party to announce an engagement. We were in tuxes, staff was in tails, we even had to pass inspection before we were allowed into the main room where we were performing. At inspection, we were informed in no uncertain terms that this was a high class group of people and no inappropriate behaviour or loud, inappropriate music would be tolerated.

 

After a couple of hours of really low key standards, the two fathers had gotten increasingly drunk and were hanging out with the band so their wives wouldn't yell at them.

 

The father of the girl (from Michigan) offered us $20 each to play "Hail To The Victors" the Michigan fight song - which we did (money talks.) Upon hearing this, the father of the boy (from Ohio) paid us to play "The Yellow and the Blue" the Ohio State fight song.

 

This went on, back and forth, for some time with the two fathers singing along and urging us (with tips) to get louder and louder.

 

Finally, the mother who hired us came rushing over and announced that "the party was over because the band had ruined her daughter's engagement party."

 

Afterwards, she told us that we weren't getting paid but we had made so much in tips it didn't really matter to us. Her husband caught up to us later in the parking lot and pretended to yell at us while he slipped our gig money into my tux pocket so his wife couldn't see us getting paid.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. W. C. Fields
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I almost forgot about this. I did a gig once as a three piece plus vocals - Keys, bass and drums.

 

The bar was hopping, and the night was going well. Near the end of the set, someone from the dense crowd yelled "Turn up the guitar!!". We all looked around at each other and sort of laughed. I couldn't tell who said it. After the next tune- same thing "You guys need more GUITAR!". I try to look out into the audience (past the bright lights). I see the guy - it is the old guitar player that the singer kicked out! Nice.

 

After I quit the band they invited this yahoo back into the fold.

I'm just saying', everyone that confuses correlation with causation eventually ends up dead.
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Played a piano ragtime duet at a function - only on this occasion we played it at breakneck speed and still managed to get it note perfect.

 

Two very snooty ladies were overheard afterwards:

 

"Of course they were miming - nobody could play that fast"

 

Sooooo satisfiying!!!!!

I found the lost chord
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Originally posted by Sven Golly:

Originally posted by GregC:

'you play too much like Keith Emerson"

Maybe if you stopped sticking knives into the house organ, you wouldn't get that complaint. ;):wave:
what really did it was when I did spinning grand piano in the air trick while playing

 

some wise guy yelled out ' sequencer '

 

You just can't please everyone

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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I started playing pretty early and wasn't old enough to legally be in many of the establishments the band was booked. I managed to behave myself pretty good despite all the smokin' and boozin' going on around me.

 

One night during a break I'm sitting at the table with the rest of the band, and this guy walks up and announces, "You guys are GREAT!! Beer all around! What does everybody want?".

 

He starts with the guy to my left and goes around the table, coming to me last.

 

"And you?"

 

"Uhh, I don't drink beer. Just a ginger ale please."

 

He gets the WEIRD look on his face and then shouts at me:

 

"PERVERT!!!!"

 

...and walks off without getting anything for anybody.

 

Rest of the band didn't speak to me the remainder of the evening.

 

 

...actually, I may have told that story here before. Don't remember! Sorry for the repeat if I had.

Les Mizzell

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"I hate it when you play without using both hands on the keys." - Said to me by a guitarist as I was using pitch bend in a synth solo.

 

"Stop making those UFO thingy sounds." - Said to me by the female vocolist in the same band. She was taling about glide and modulation. We were playing The Cars, Re-Flex, Talking Heads, The Fixx, etc... Even though we were playing lots of new wave and synth pop I think they wanted me to cover the parts with booogie-woogie piano. :rolleyes:

 

Robert

This post edited for speling.
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I found it funny when cats would ask, "does that keyboard have any synthesizer sounds in it?"

 

They were looking for sound effects. :rolleyes::cool:

PD

 

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."--E. Ahbez "Nature Boy"

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I may have posted these before:

 

Playing for a corp. conference cocktail hour/dinner/dance. We start off with an acoustic set of two acoustic guitars. The PITA lady booked us says we are too loud. Wait till the band cranks up I thought. Later we are all playing (5pc) and the guitar player and I are 4-5 feet from each other talking and laughing while playing. That is playing soft.

 

Another time I played a wedding with a Jump Blues/Swing band. The bride and groom were swing dancers and loved our stuff. We didn't play the traditional wedding sets. No wine and cheese set, no boogie oogie oogie, brickhouse, or line dance crap. This guy comes up to the band stand and says "who would hire a band like you?" We laughed about that for weeks.

Jimmy

 

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Groucho

NEW BAND CHECK THEM OUT

www.steveowensandsummertime.com

www.jimmyweaver.com

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Regarding wedding bands, no offense to those of you who do that, and in fact more power to you -- you've got more restraint than I do, but I could NEVER be in a wedding band -- akin to being in hell. I've been to enough weddings to know that if the people have enough money to hire a decent wedding band that they usually have some sort of snooty attitude to go along with it, and the band members are treated like dirt.

 

Just went to a wedding in September (my wife's cousin) at the top of the AON building in Chicago (80 stories!). The band was playing all the typical wedding band songs, but they were doing it quite well, and the piano player was playing an actual grand piano, so it was cool. He did a nice job and was pleased to see that I was watching him play. It was loud and he was working, so I just gave him a thumbs up. He seemed to appreciate that. Anyway, later on a break I saw a woman (not even the mother of the bride) giving him hell about something related to what they were doing. I never understand the nerve of some people who treat others like crap just because they are paying them (and in the case of this woman, she wasn't paying a dime). Anyway, I'd rather walk out with $100 playing to a bar filled with appreciative patrons than make $700 or more playing in a wedding band where they treat me like a servant.

Steve (Stevie Ray)

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

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Originally posted by stepay:

I'd rather walk out with $100 playing to a bar filled with appreciative patrons than make $700 or more playing in a wedding band where they treat me like a servant.

Stepay, please tell me of a band that will pay me $700 for a wedding gig. I'll be on the next mule to Ohio. :freak:;)

 

But I know what you mean. And the best gig is one where you are a guest at the party, yet you also play in the band - AND get paid to do so. These days that's pretty much what it's come down to for me as a weekend warrier. It's a balancing act between my day job, wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage. :rolleyes:

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo
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Originally posted by stepay:

I could NEVER be in a wedding band -- akin to being in hell.

Actually, I spent 2 solid years playing in a wedding band when I was in college. It was great.

 

The money was good, the crowd was happy to see us and they tried to dance to everything. We got home at a decent hour, didn't smell like ashtrays, and many times brought a date (although I can't remember how that happened) and ate/drank at the gig free of charge.

 

My experience was not one of being a slave.....I think it was kind of cool to hear a request from the family and be able to meet it easily -- to their amazement. Everybody's happy :-)

"Oh yeah, I've got two hands here." (Viv Savage)

"Mr. Blu... Mr. Blutarsky: Zero POINT zero." (Dean Vernon Wormer)

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Ed,

 

Cool. Glad it worked out for you. It obviously has to for many as there are lots of wedding bands out there. I've seen enough people get yelled at though, and I just don't take kindly to that. Maybe what I've seen is the vast minority.

Steve (Stevie Ray)

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

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The oddest complaint I've heard in a while was uttered last week: "the guitar player isn't loud enough."

 

Of course we smiled and did nothing about it ;-)

"Oh yeah, I've got two hands here." (Viv Savage)

"Mr. Blu... Mr. Blutarsky: Zero POINT zero." (Dean Vernon Wormer)

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Originally posted by Is There Gas in the Car?:

Originally posted by stepay:

I'd rather walk out with $100 playing to a bar filled with appreciative patrons than make $700 or more playing in a wedding band where they treat me like a servant.

Stepay, please tell me of a band that will pay me $700 for a wedding gig. I'll be on the next mule to Ohio. :freak:;)

 

But I know what you mean. And the best gig is one where you are a guest at the party, yet you also play in the band - AND get paid to do so. These days that's pretty much what it's come down to for me as a weekend warrier. It's a balancing act between my day job, wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage. :rolleyes:

Tom,

 

Not sure how many of those gigs are in Ohio, but I know that at my wife's cousin's wedding in September they paid $10,000 for a 13-member band (11 musicians and 2 sound guys). Let's see, $10,000 divided by 13 = $769 per person.

 

My current (soon to be former) band played one "high society" gig where I walked out with $300, but one of the guys accused us of being druggies (because aren't ALL musicians that!), and one woman came running up to the stage making the slash sign across her throat and then when we stopped playing (we thought there might be an emergency or something) she yells, "No more BLUES!". She of course did not book us. We were hired by the guy running the show who wanted a blues band. Of course later she was dancing to our music, but still, what a piece of work. I wrote a song about her later called "Blues B!tch". Hilariously enough, the guy who accused us of being druggies (which none of us are) had one of his buddies get into trouble by campus police for smoking dope. Anyway, that experience coupled with how I've seen the way nicely dressed people treat musicians, and I say no thanks.

Steve (Stevie Ray)

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

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