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Worst Song Ever

Garrafon

By Garrafon
in The Keyboard Corner

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Mr. Nightime

Mr. Nightime

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Bridog6996:

Originally posted by learjeff:

Of course, can't forget FREEBIRD! (The new Proud Mary, the difference being the folks asking are even more obnoxious about it.)

"Play Freebird!" or "Play some Skynyrd!" in my experience are just things that someone in the audience will shout out, and they don't want or expect you to play it. It's usually just someone that's drunk or trying to be funny.
Did you ever hear "Freeway to Stairbird" By Rev. Billy C. Wirtz from "Pianist Envy? He combines Freebird and Stairway to Heaven.

"I'm in a Redneck Little Dive

I'll be lucky to get out alive.

Cause it's Saturday Night

In the middle of deer season."

 

Hilarious

"In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome.

So God helped him and created woman.

 

Now everybody's got the blues."

 

Willie Dixon

 

 

 

 

 

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Darren Landrum

Darren Landrum

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HA! I've seen the Reverend twice, and always take the opportunity to see his show when I hear about them. Not only is he a fantastic pianist, but he really knows how to hold the audience in the palm of his hand. He has a lot of personality, and it comes through.

 

As for my personal least favorite songs... Well, it all comes down to taste, doesn't it? I happen to like a lot of REO Speedwagon stuff (though not all of it, by any means). I also have a sick fascination with "My Humps" despite the intelligent half of my brain telling me otherwise. Maybe it's the video, which is best enjoyed with the sound turned off.

 

If I had to name any song that epitomizes banality in all its forms... Sorry, I just can't do it. There are too many of them.

Darren Landrum
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Mr. Nightime

Mr. Nightime

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Posted
Come to think about it, the rest of the band that I was playing with that night went out on tour with the Rev as the Polyester Prophets.

"In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome.

So God helped him and created woman.

 

Now everybody's got the blues."

 

Willie Dixon

 

 

 

 

 

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JeffLearman

JeffLearman

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Posted
Lyrics that try to be profound but miss badly
The winner in that category would be "Stairway to Heaven", which NPR's Terry Gross aptly called the most pretensious rock song ever. She was interviewing a guy who'd just released an album of lounge-lizard-style campy covers, including this one. The guy said that when he asked Page for permission and explained what he was doing, Page enthusiastically said "Maybe that'll finally kill it!"

 

No such luck, unfortunately...

 

But Born to Run kicks ass, even if it is guilty of trying to be profound. I mean, any song with "Wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims and / Strap your hands 'cross my engines" has gotta be a winner!

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JeffLearman

JeffLearman

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Is There Gas in the Car?:

Originally posted by learjeff:

I always liked the alternate version, "Let's Get Digital" -- the melody only uses two notes. One fewer than the original, sounds almost the same. Lots funnier, though. "Let me hear your baudot talk ..." (Sorry, nerd joke.)

You know Jeff. I'll admit. Of all my nerd friends, you're my favorite. :thu:
Back at ya, bud!
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Garrafon

Garrafon

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Here is part II of the CNN article that spawned this thread:

 

The worst song of all time, part II

CNN.com users pick their (least) favorites

By Todd Leopold

CNN

 

 

Wednesday, April 26, 2006; Posted: 1:28 p.m. EDT (17:28 GMT)

 

The Archies' "Sugar, Sugar" -- tops in 1969 -- earned lots of support for worst song.

 

(CNN) -- Rosemary Clooney hated "Come On-a My House," one of her biggest hits. John Lennon loathed the Beatles' "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da." Parisians rioted at the first performance of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring."

 

Play a piece of music, and it's likely someone won't like it.

 

That's true in spades of CNN.com users, who answered in droves our question about the worst song of all time. We received more than 5,800 entries, representing every decade of the rock 'n' roll era (1955-present).

 

Nominations were recorded for "Transfusion," Nervous Norvus' novelty of 1956; "The Ballad of the Green Berets," Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler's chart-topper from 1966; "The Night Chicago Died," Paper Lace's tale of "the East Side of Chicago" from 1974 (a golden year for unfavorite songs); "Morning Train," Sheena Easton's hit from 1981; "The Macarena," Los Del Rio's ubiquitous dance song of 1996; and "Hollaback Girl," the recent hit by Gwen Stefani.

 

Those songs are, and have been, easily mocked, and several of the leading vote-getters -- as you shall see -- are works that are legendary for their presence on worst-song lists, if nothing else.

 

What is perhaps more surprising are the oft-praised classics that also earned votes. The Tokens' 1961 "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," the Shangri-Las' 1964 "Leader of the Pack," the Beatles' 1968 "Hey Jude," Prince's 1986 "Kiss" -- all earned thumbs-down from at least one CNN.com e-mailer.

 

Stabbing Q-Tips

What could generate such antipathy?

 

Perhaps the best answers are in the metaphors users suggested for exposure -- or overexposure -- to their least favorite tunes.

 

"Makes me want to stab Q-Tips into my ears," wrote one correspondent. Another quoted a line about excrement from the film "Off Limits." "Renders me suicidal," offered a third.

 

And then there was the ever-popular "like [finger]nails on a blackboard," a simile that may be an anachronism in these days of dry-erase whiteboards and PowerPoint presentations. (If you want tips on writing a bad song, read this.)

 

At least one correspondent also wished to make a distinction between a bad song and a bad record, a distinction also made by the Grammy awards. (The former is a songwriter's award.)

 

"The worst record ever made is Whitney Houston's assault on 'I Will Always Love You,' " writes William W. "The song itself, written by Dolly Parton, is a lovely expression of quiet resignation in the face of romantic loss, a quality captured perfectly by Parton's original recording. Houston's version, on the other hand, is hideous, due to its barely disguised agenda: 'Whitney Uber Alles.' ... La Whitney's performance has nothing to do with tenderness and respect, and everything to do with the naked will to power."

 

Duly noted.

 

Even with the number of e-mailers, the winning song earned less than 5 percent of the vote, despite some users sending in multiple nominations. That can only be testimony to the wide range of public taste ... or, perhaps, the number of allegedly bad songs out there.

 

The top five

OK, we'll cut to the chase. Here are the top five (see gallery as well), with peak Billboard chart positions and comments from their outraged, frustrated and weary supporters:

 

FACT BOX

"The Night Chicago Died" and "Billy, Don't Be a Hero" were written by the same songwriters -- Peter Callander and Mitch Murray. 5. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks (No. 1 for three weeks, 1974): "A melody you couldn't play for your dog combined with inane lyrics" (Chris K.); "An all-time piece of dreck" (Darrell); "Having to listen to it is a season in hell" (Bonnie D.).

 

4. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene (No. 3, 1982): "I want to punch out my radio when it comes on the air" (Larry W.); "Even the mush department at Hallmark would puke" (Eric and Linda); "I'm thinking that in her case, 'Me' probably wasn't such a fun place to go to" (Brenda K.).

 

3. "You Light Up My Life," Debby Boone (No. 1 for 10 weeks, 1977): "How can anything so insipidly slow light up anything?" (Bob B.); "[it] sounded like it was thrown together on a rainy afternoon by a lovestruck adolescent" (Jan R.); "The musical equivalent of being keel-hauled" (Michael R.).

 

2. "Muskrat Love," The Captain and Tennille (No. 4, 1976): "A song about aquatic rodents doin' the wild thing? Eeeeeew!" (Garland E.); "The name says it all" (Stacy D.); "I would pay good money to have its lyrics, tune, and even the fact of its existence erased from my memory" (Dave C.).

 

And the No. 1 worst song as voted on by CNN.com users:

 

1. "(You're) Having My Baby," Paul Anka (No. 1 for three weeks, 1974): It wasn't even close; Anka's hit beat out "Muskrat" by more than 50 votes, a veritable landslide under the circumstances. As our correspondents raved: "How can a person not be annoyed by lyrics like, 'You're a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to ya'?" (Shauna M.); " 'What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me' -- If that isn't the most egocentric solipsistic revolting line of all time" (Stu S. and Andi S.); "I don't know a woman alive who doesn't cringe when it comes on the radio. I'm sure it's banned in most countries around the world" (Gord P.).

 

Gord, it's not, but perhaps someone will start a movement.

 

(What else did you say? Read some responses.)

 

FACT BOX

"MacArthur Park," written by Jimmy Webb, was originally offered to The Association.

Source: Songfacts.com Other songs with sizable constituencies -- at least 1 percent of the vote -- included Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods' "Billy, Don't Be a Hero," Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died," Starship's "We Built This City," Richard Harris' "MacArthur Park," Morris Albert's "Feelings," the Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight," the Archies' "Sugar, Sugar," Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart," Maria Muldaur's "Midnight at the Oasis," America's "A Horse with No Name," the Ohio Express' "Yummy Yummy Yummy," Los Del Rio's "The Macarena" and Don McLean's "American Pie."

 

(If neither "Honey" nor "We Built This City," two songs that inspired this story, hit the top five, perhaps it was because readers were already satiated with them.)

 

In reading these e-mails, one's heart has to go out to people in at least two occupations: retail clerks, who are subjected to loops of gloopy music all day long; and disc jockeys, who must play it. A number of correspondents in either job, as well as some hospital workers and restaurant servers, sounded like they should qualify for combat pay.

 

Not everyone was happy with a "worst song" poll, however. Some took umbrage at the very idea, noting that the definition of "worst" changes from generation to generation.

 

"Perhaps the author would do better by delving into the history of music -- and focus on the facets of music that are truly delightful. From Glenn Miller, to Barbra Streisand, to Tony Bennett, and the Buffalo Bills -- this music will live forever. What is cranked out today, for the most part, will be long forgotten in the very near future," wrote Mylon S. (For those who don't remember the Buffalo Bills, he's not talking about the football team -- they're best known as the barbershop quartet in the film "The Music Man.")

 

Besides, pointed out the good-humored Manolo B., even the most craven, commercial tune somehow, some way, strikes a chord.

 

"Compile as many songs as you wish: the truth of the matter is that even the most hated of the hated songs will touch at least one little fiber of your beating heart," he wrote, "and make you yearn."

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Botch.

Botch.

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After reading what they said about Paul Anka's "masterpiece", I was tempted to start a thread about "Anka vs. Wonder", because I think Stevie's lyrics on "Isn't She Lovely" are just as excruciatingly bad as Anka's. I'll probably get flamed here, but that's OK (and I'm a big Stevie fan, at least the earlier stuff).

 

PS. wmp: I haven't really paid attention to the lyrics of "Constant Craving", but that song is one of my all-time favorites; it raises the hair on my arms every time I hear it. To each his own, I guess ;)

Botch

"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will

www.puddlestone.net

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ITGITC

ITGITC

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Posted

Isnt she lovely

Isnt she wonderfull

Isnt she precious

Less than one minute old

I never thought through love wed be

Making one as lovely as she

But isnt she lovely made from love

 

Isnt she pretty

Truly the angels best

Boy, Im so happy

We have been heaven blessed

I cant believe what God has done

Through us hes given life to one

But isnt she lovely made from love

 

Isnt she lovely

Life and love are the same

Life is aisha

The meaning of her name

Londie, it could have not been done

Without you who conceived the one

Thats so very lovely made from love

 

 

-------------------------

Having My Baby

featuring Odia Coates

 

[Paul:]

Havin' my baby

What a lovely way of sayin'

How much you love me

Havin' my baby

What a lovely way of sayin'

What you're thinkin' of me

I can see it, face is glowin'

I can see in your eyes

I'm happy you know it

 

[both:]

That you're havin' my baby

 

[Paul:]

You're the woman I love

And I love what it's doin' to ya

 

[both:]

Havin' my baby

 

[Paul:]

You're a woman in love

And I love what's goin' through ya

 

[Paul:]

The need inside you

I see it showin'

Whoa, the seed inside ya

Baby, do you feel it growin'

Are you happy you know it

That you're

 

[both:]

Havin' my baby

 

[Odia:]

I'm a woman in love

And I love what it's doin' to me

 

[both:]

Havin' my baby

 

[Odia:]

I'm a woman in love

And I love what's goin' through me

 

[Paul:]

Didn't have to keep it

Wouldn't put ya through it

You could have swept it from you life

But you wouldn't do it

No, you wouldn't do it

 

[both:]

And you're havin' my baby

 

[Odia:]

I'm a woman in love

And I love what it's doin' to me

 

[both:]

Havin' my baby

 

[Odia:]

I'm a woman in love

And I love what's goin' through me

 

[Paul:]

Havin' my baby (havin' my baby)

What a lovely way of sayin'

How much you love me

 

[Paul:]

Havin' my baby

(havin' my baby)

 

[Odia:]

I'm a woman in love

And I love what's goin' through me

---------------------------------

 

You be the judge. :rolleyes::)

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo
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Duffage

Duffage

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Has this been mentioned yet?

 

How Do You Do?

( Mouth and MacNeal )

 

Once I said I wanted you, I don't remember why

I often wondered if it's true that you could make me cry

I only know it's long ago you said, "I love you" too

But I had one solution and that was to start anew

 

How do you do? uh huh

I though why not na, na, na, na?

Just me and you and then we can na, na, na, na

Just like before and you will say na, na, na, na

Please give me more and you will think na, na, na, na

Hey, that's what I'm livin' for

 

How do you do? uh huh

I though why not na, na, na, na?

Just me and you and then we can na, na, na, na

Just like before and you will say na, na, na, na

Please give me more and you will think na, na, na, na

Hey, that's what I'm livin' for

 

Once I said I wanted you and I remember why

I often wonder if it's true you still can make me cry

And now it's not so long ago you said, "I love you" too

And I've got one solution, that we're gonna start anew

 

How do you do? uh huh

I though why not na, na, na, na

Just me and you and then we can na, na, na, na

Just like before and you will say na, na, na, na

Please give me more and you will think na, na, na, na

Hey, that's what I'm livin' for

 

How do you do? uh huh

I though why not na, na, na, na?

Just me and you and then we can na, na, na, na

Just like before and you will say na, na, na, na

Please give me more and you will think na, na, na, na

Hey, that's what I'm livin' for

 

How do you do? uh huh

La la la la la la la la

La la la la

La la la la la la la la

La la la la

La la la la la la la la

La la la la

La la la la la la la la

Hey that's what I'm livin' for

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Byrdman

Byrdman

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Posted
Originally posted by learjeff:

Lyrics that try to be profound but miss badly
The winner in that category would be "Stairway to Heaven",
I was once told about a show on Australian radio where each week a different act got to play one song, and the song was "Stairway to Heaven". Somehow I can't quite grasp the concept of Ralph Harris doing Stairway to Heaven.

 

Of course, the correct answer to the "worst songs of all times" really ought to be (tied for first place) any and all songs written for the Eurovision Song Contest.

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gangsu

gangsu

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Markyboard:

Originally posted by Is There Gas in the Car?:

Thank YOU, Markyboard. The pleasure is mine. :)

Based on my lyric line...I didn't need to read THAT reply . :o:D
maybe he was lonely ;)

 

Hi Tom :wave:

"........! Try to make It..REAL! compared to what? ! ! ! " - BOPBEEPER
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ITGITC

ITGITC

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Markyboard:

I'm sure he saw that (cough) coming. :eek:

Actually, I was just trying to be a nice guy. :rolleyes:

 

Remind me not to be nice to you again, Markyboard. You too, gangsu. :mad:

 

(Geeez, you try to be cordial and THIS is what ya get.) :(

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo
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Markyboard

Markyboard

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Posted
Hey relax Tom. If you saw my other post I'm using my prednisone intake as my get out of jail free card for anything I say. We're just messing with you and it would probably make more sense if you saw the rest of the lyrics. Of course I have no idea what Sue's excuse is. :evil::freak::P:D
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ITGITC

ITGITC

Posted
Posted

quote:
Originally posted by Markyboard:

Hey relax Tom. If you saw my other post I'm using my prednisone intake as my get out of jail free card for anything I say. We're just messing with you and it would probably make more sense if you saw the rest of the lyrics. Of course I have no idea what Sue's excuse is. :wave:

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo
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gangsu

gangsu

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Is There Gas in the Car?:

gangsu just likes to post with a glass of wine in her hand. That's all. ;)

Nope, it's a 500 ml Lezajsk I've got in my hand. One of the most renowned beers in Poland since 1525. Part of my ongoing historical research. :thu:

 

Markyboard, if you'd just posted the tune, all this confusion could've been avoided.

 

 

Tom. :D You need to see a doctor, you look like H.

 

In fact..

 

Why don't you be the doctor.

 

 

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/gangsu/richard-chamberlain-2sm.jpg

 

Isn't he nice?

"........! Try to make It..REAL! compared to what? ! ! ! " - BOPBEEPER
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