Shars Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Chris you need to get permission for the use of the news clips to. Please can you sort this as we could end up in trouble if we use them without permission www.myspace.com/yacababy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I would try to focus the lyric on hope, strength and encourangement, which I believe many survivors need. I think the lyric "agony" is: 1. Direct http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif 2. somewhat maudlin http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/icons/icon13.gif I'm 50/50 on it, but can't offer an improvement at the moment. Buy my CD on CD Baby! Bill Hartzell - the website MySpace?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Another suggestion for half a verse (I know I'm a few syllables short on some lines) The past seems washed away The future is unknown The present feels so hard to face hack away at that Buy my CD on CD Baby! Bill Hartzell - the website MySpace?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wraub Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 "Anguish" instead of "agony", maybe? I know the syllables aren't right, but... Or "Misery"? Peace, wraub I'm a lot more like I am now than I was when I got here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PBBPaul Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 The past seems washed away The future is unknown The present feels so hard to face Don't recognize this place as my own Our new and improved website Today's sample tune: Lonesome One Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylver Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I was thinking(that's always trouble) ... maybe somehow we could work in some sense of sympathy/empathy. You know like: Your tears are ours too In the faces of our children We see the precious love lost Our hearts ache with yours In the places you walk our feet follow We feel the pain of such a cost Please feel free to borrow, quote, paraphrase or disregard any part of the above. I really don't know what to put here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Tedster '05: I heard your news clips...have you pasted them as an intro? Haven't heard that. I think that it's appropriate (speaking for myself) that the clips make it specific to this particular disaster. yeah.. i put it on the music thread a while ago.. bottom of page on this web page . I wouldn't know the first thing about getting permission. http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PBBPaul Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Chris_C: I wouldn't know the first thing about getting permission.You can start here. It mentions using the feedback form to contact them. I don't have the time to dig too much but this is where I'd start. Our new and improved website Today's sample tune: Lonesome One Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Thanks Paul!! http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 Wow, there's some great discussion going on. As far as the final lyric goes, we probably need it finalised by end of today (i.e. midnight or so in Tedster time). Ted, are you happy to take on the role of getting lyric finalised utilising the great input from everyone here? We all know you won't get precious and are happy to take on new ideas. Do you think you can pull that off plus provide a chord chart today? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Rough Chord chart is on the timeline thread. Yeah, lyrically, I need all the help I can get, but I will sort of act as editor as well. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 That's brilliant Ted, thanks so much!! The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Here. Fear is not the face You should wake up with every day Hunger's not the way that we'll survive Such a senseless waste So many friends have gone away And agony awaits those left behind CHORUS Though we are half a world away We feel your anguish every day And your call for help will never go unheeded How can the smiles of yesterday Be replaced by the pain we see today How can you carry on when all your hope's depleted VERSE Who will feed the child The child who has no one left to care Who will hold them close And ease their sorrow And who will comfort those Grieving for those no longer there And help them know a better day (tomorrow?) CHORUS 2 The tears that you cry are tears we share The pain that you feel we too will bear You can count on us to help you In your time of needing And if you feel you're on your own Know that with us you're not alone A message of hope is one that's always worth repeating SOLO REPEAT SECOND CHORUS REPEAT FIRST VERSE Out. I used some of the ideas I've seen, modified to fit the meter and what not. I'm open to using more perhaps, but I'm exhausted. I've done a demo, but I'm too fried to post it tonight. Sadly, when I did the tracks for the first demo, I really didn't have a structure, and I need to re-cut it...but, I feel I'm making progress. I'm exhausted. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Thank you, Ted!!! YOU RAWK!!! I'm working on this tonight until the power goes out. Ted's probably aware that a big rain storm is hitting the Bay Area right about... now. https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 Tedster, there's a reason you're exhausted: It's because you've written one helluva song in a short time. I HONESTLY can't pick a single thing that i would change in the lyrics that wouldn't just be pedantic crap. You've nailed it mate And yes i think the word tomorrow should be in there. Tedster, I salute you!!! The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 I feel like I've just had rough sex or something...hahahahahah....(collapses on the floor). "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Yes indeed, lyrics nailed. Jobs a gud 'un! get some rest tedster, be fresh for when you wake up and we've changed it all and you havetostartagain! I loved this; CHORUS Though we are half a world away We feel your anguish every day And your call for help will never go unheeded How can the smiles of yesterday Be replaced by the pain we see today How can you carry on when all your hope's depleted just right! http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 Originally posted by Tedster '05: I feel like I've just had rough sex or something...hahahahahah....(collapses on the floor).Well I don't fell like I've been shagged so I wonder who has been? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wraub Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Nice job, Ted! Home run! Peace, wraub I'm a lot more like I am now than I was when I got here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylver Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Tedster, great job bud! It was cool that you worked in ideas from so many people. Go have a beer and hit the showers. I really don't know what to put here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Originally posted by Sylver: Tedster, great job bud! It was cool that you worked in ideas from so many people. Including you...a lot from you. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylver Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Awwwww, shucks! I really don't know what to put here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Originally posted by Tedster '05: Originally posted by Sylver: Tedster, great job bud! It was cool that you worked in ideas from so many people. Including you...a lot from you.That's really cool of you, Ted. And you got it done so quickly! That's pretty damn impressive, buddy. Good thing, too, 'cause the lyrics I was coming up with were SUCKING! https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 Not as bad as mine were The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shars Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Its now 10.09 in the UK and I just woke up after feeling really knackered last night! This is late for me! Ted what can I say! You have caught the essence of what I was feeling inside and the lyrics are spot on and exactly how it should be said. Thank you. www.myspace.com/yacababy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 to all you guys, especially you Tedster. Looking forward to hearing it! Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hariseldon Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Excellent!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 TEDSTER: As you know, I really like the lyrics. There's only one thing that's bugging me, and that's that the song ends on a downer lyric, when I really feel it should end on a positive note. We're trying to bring about some positivity out of the darkness here with this whole effort, right? Here's my suggestion: At the very end of the song, instead of repeating the line: And agony awaits those left behind And agony awaits those left behind can you sing something uplifting, like: And agony awaits those left behind But we can make a difference if we try ? We need to leave people (and ourselves) with an empowered feeling instead of hopelessness. Do you agree? Fear is not the face You should wake up with every day Hunger's not the way that we'll survive Such a senseless waste So many friends have gone away And agony awaits those left behind But we can make a difference if we try https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted December 31, 2004 Author Share Posted December 31, 2004 or even if you want to rhyme with 'away': let's make small steps forward each day or but now some sunshine for your day or ???? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 I like keeping the line "And agony awaits those left behind" line intact, because there will be repercussions of this disaster to deal with for years to come in SW Asia and East Africa. I just wanted to change the very last line of the song (which currently repeats the "agony" line second time) to something uplifting. https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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