Dr Nursers Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Ok - Tedster is going to submit some lyrics, and then we need to finalise what we want sooner rather than later: my suggestion would be today, midnight forum time? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billster Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Here's some e-mail I bounced with Ted this afternoon: --- billster@ix.netcom.com wrote: Hey Ted, lyric idea I'm kicking around: I too am away from recording gear at the moment - no real melodic concept yet Chorus: I have seen the faces I have seen the places The people and things taken away We can feed the children We can build a house again We can make tomorrow, but we must start today Verse 1 - all about people Verse 2 - all about places Verse 3 - ??? Verse 1 My child's face means the world to me I can't imagine him gone I relish the comfort of family Like the peace and silence of dawn Pre-Chorus bridge I look at the world through my TV And see people everywhere are just like me --------Tedster wrote back: You're coming along with a similar line of attack. Do you have a melody? My opening line was something along the line of "Fear is not the face that we should wake up with" or something...I have it written down at home. But, a similar concept...from the point of view of a parent seeing their young children safe asleep, and thinking of another parent looking in grief on their children who are no more. Buy my CD on CD Baby! Bill Hartzell - the website MySpace?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 That's all sounding pretty great! Ted, love that line: fear is not the face that we should wake up with What do others think? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 yeah i like tedsters line, i also like the last two lines of billsters chorus, maybe the first lines are melodramatic, (its not just about children), iv'e heard people use this kind of line as emotional blackmail, like cliff richard, "children singing christian rhymes". its hard to say thigs without offending, and we should all trust that here, nobody means ofence, and we should damn well just say what we are thinking:D best best way to get things done with minimun of fuss agreed? http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shars Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 I think its great...it pulls in the right places and with a great harmonie under it, it can shout alot louder. Good work so far guys but remember, this is about the sea coming in and killing not famine so long as its nothing like Band Aide, thats ok. www.myspace.com/yacababy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Anyone got title ideas? One possibility would be using the word fear in it maybe?: Love over fear No more fear Or we could be much more concrete and call it something along the lines of 'The Tsunami Song' etc. Thoughts? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 one thing that might be good is to use the fact that nobody expected it, ie there WAS no fear. it took everyone by surprise! something more like "comfortable".. get the thesaurus out. http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoes Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Excuse me but I'm pulling this because it seems counter productive to the effort here. Hopefully I can find another way to contribute. I still think guitars are like shoes, but louder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shars Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Wjat can one say but Beautiful. www.myspace.com/yacababy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 that is definatey a beautiful poem guitarshoes. you wrote that inspired by this tragegy? while we're in the initial stages of lyric writing i think we should post here some keywords, things that we think might be mentioned in the lyrics. its something i've done with my bands in the past as a kind of brainstorming outlet. i'll start. wave homes lives and livelyhood. our humanity, our people (need us?) reach out? na.. too cheesy. but you know what i'm getting at http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Guitars are like shoes. But louder.: Excuse me but I'm pulling this because it seems counter productive to the effort here. Hopefully I can find another way to contribute.Why would it be counter-productive??? There were some fine lines you wrote there - how about you re-post them? The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I've been working on lyrics and playing around with melodies and chord changes since last night. I'm not too impressed with what I have so far, but I'm still very curious to hear what Ted has going. I like everything I've seen posted here today. Billster has some great stuff and Chris is working hard to get us going, too. Hey, GuitarShoes, please re-post what you had there earlier. That was really good. Even if we don't use everything everyone posts, we still might need to use a line or phrase or two to complete our song. I might post some of what I have later, if I can get it into a usable state. Right now, it's just kind of blah. https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Yes, GuitarShoes--please re-post. Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoes Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I had to finish this and should not have posted it knowing I intended to have it completed tonight. As I've offered in explanation, I'll finish and record this as described. Please feel free to use what is of interest or use to you. This song was written from inspirations drawn from the events of December 26, 2004 when a Tsunami in the Indian Ocean swept away the lives of countless innocent people who inhabited this area of the world. The planned music is Celtic / maritime natured in keeping with the occurrence and could / should be cross pollinated with east Indian rhythms and instrumentation to draw a proper regional feel. It was written more as a prayer than as a song and as such doesn't lend itself easily to heavy instrumentation but this is open to interpretation and experimentation. Any direct reference to the cause, disaster, aftermath or situation in specific were left out intentionally that it remain an open moment of reflection and not a direct reflection that relives the event. I am but a seed that my parents did sew What wonders await me I can't even know My journey's uncharted on this craft I ride The earth she's unknowing of the dreams that I bide Your sky is my window to stars by the night The morning brings beauty of the splendor I might Keep close to my heart all that you bring to me If only your secrets all I'd have to see Chorus Mountains so snowcapped with glistening streams Run deep to your oceans the cycles remain I am but so small that your eyes cannot see You turn only forward not feeling my pain My time here was cherished though it's meaning's unknown Cut short on my quest to have turned every stone Though my offerings were made you washed over my soul Carry me to your skies where we both become whole chorus Mountains so snowcapped with glistening streams Run deep to your oceans the cycles remain I am but so small that your eyes cannot see You turn yet again to rekindle my flame Peter Kelly 12/28/04 I still think guitars are like shoes, but louder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 What Peter (GuitarShoes) said! Personally, I really dig his whole concept! Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 I'm wondering if we could pull off two songs?? Bunny - definitely post your lyrics too The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 OK here's something to kick around. Tsunami Demo - William Hartzell I changed the lyrics some from my original post, with a big tip to GuitarShoes for some inspiration. I think the chords for the "Pre" section here could also serve as a verse section if someone more crafty than me could write some verses. I see the lyric as kind of saying two views: 1> from the victims, that they must live one day at a time 2> from those of fortunate to try and help, that there's no time to waste. We must start today. Tempo is 135 Chords are one bar each CHORDS Pre: D9/A; A add 11; C9/G; G add 11; D9/A; A add 11; Bb maj; A maj Chorus: D;A;C;G;A;D;E;A LYRICS: Pre: I am just a part Of the world that we have So much of what we know Can change any day Chorus: We can make it back We can be strong We can make tomorrow But we must start today Buy my CD on CD Baby! Bill Hartzell - the website MySpace?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip OKeefe Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Tedster, a couple of lines for a verse, if I may be so bold as to make some suggestions? (The) Earth below gave way and sent the waves crashing their way Dreams of yesterday gone with the tide Politics aside the devestation's region-wide and I for one can not sit idly by just a few lines off the cuff. Feel free to use or not as you folks see fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip OKeefe Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 BTW, I really like your current verse as is. I'm just tossing out some ideas for additional verses. Oh, and the chorus... do we want to make some sort of plea for worldwide compassion and caring? Do we want to encourage people to get involved in this unprecedented tragedy by trying to do something - anything - to help mitigate it and prevent further loss of life? That's kind of the direction I'm leaning... but I see there's an "anti-Band-Aid cheese factor" element here (which I can understand) and I don't want it to be too cheesy. But I think a message of hope for the survivors about help being on the way, and encouragement to the world to all pitch in to help would both be good "goals" of the song. I really see this as being one of those "popular uprising of the human spirit in common people" type of events... out of tragedy comes people from all walks of life, pulling together to help their fellow humans. The governments are doing something, and I commend that, but it's going to take far more than a few dozen million here, and a few dozen million there to even come anywhere near dealing with the huge scope of this disaster. Which means it comes down to us - all of us, worldwide. I'd like to somehow express that - without being cheesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Phil, couldn't agree more - and the brutal reality is that even if it gets a little cheesy, it's only us musicians that usually wince. If everyone was as cheese-sensitive as us then "My Heart Will Go On' would never have made the top 200 let alone number 1 The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast My Music: Stainless Fields Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Okay, I have Ted's lyrics transcribed. Can I suggest that the first word of the second line of the chorus be changed from "hunger" to "anger"? And to add to Phil's verse: (The) Earth below gave way and sent the waves crashing their way Dreams of yesterday gone with the tide So much has been lost At such a tragic cost But a better hope remains inside Buy my CD on CD Baby! Bill Hartzell - the website MySpace?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Hey, everybody "may be so bold". This is a collaboration... I'm just flattered that folks seem to be digging what I very hastily put up. Bill, dangit, I still haven't even had a chance to catch the stuff you've posted...working for a living is such a waste of time. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoes Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 You need to avoid the word Tide because anyone who lives on the coast will tell you that it's essentially the heartbeat of their existence. It marks time and brings growth to maintain life. This was no tide. I still think guitars are like shoes, but louder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I think Phil was using the term "tide" metaphorically...not to insinuate that it was a "tide" that did this damage. People use "tide" all the time in that sense..."the tide is turning"..."I can't wash me skivs 'cause I'm out of Tide"..."my tongue is all tide" HAHAHAHAoops... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PBBPaul Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 It's been a long and I'm Tide! Our new and improved website Today's sample tune: Lonesome One Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Zackly! Tide an' wone out. Hey...I feel a blues song coming on... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Could we change just two words of yours ted? Hunger and Agony What everyone else think? actually, does someone have a final first lyric draft (if that makes any sense) to go with just now? http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Hunger...well, I s'pose. Agony? I don't think so. Personally, I think that one is very appropriate. Not only in terms of physical agony in the sense of those who are injured without medical help, but in the psychological agony the survivors are experiencing now, burying their dead, no food (hence the hunger) or clean water...no shelter, and that doesn't even begin to count the discomfort of having lost everything else. Hunger and agony...disease...anguish... We really can't forget that although the death toll is staggering, the dead are beyond suffering now, and it's the living that we need to worry about. Certainly of course the dead must be buried...but, the main concerns are food, clean water, shelter, and medical attention for the survivors. I heard on NPR this morning that thousands in Iran are still reeling over last year's earthquakes. Matter of fact, they said that one of the main problems with a major disaster is that the problems persist for years, long after the news (and hence the general public) lose interest. I can't imagine long-term repercussions of this. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Tedster '05: Hunger...well, I s'pose. Agony? I don't think so. Personally, I think that one is very appropriate. Not only in terms of physical agony in the sense of those who are injured without medical help, but in the psychological agony the survivors are experiencing now, burying their dead, no food (hence the hunger) or clean water...no shelter, and that doesn't even begin to count the discomfort of having lost everything else. Hunger and agony...disease...anguish... .coool! just a thought, because i was thinking 'hunger' might sound like a famine appeal.. but it is true that people are hungry.. and the word agony - it just screamed out at me the more i listen to the tune,stuck out the most. but perhaps thats a good thing eh. did you hear my addition to your work ted? the other thing about the news samples is that is makes it very specific to this disaster, which we may or may not want to avoid.. something for discussion anyways! http://www.faceoffriendship.org/fof_banner_468.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Originally posted by Chris_C: did you hear my addition to your work ted? the other thing about the news samples is that is makes it very specific to this disaster, which we may or may not want to avoid.. something for discussion anyways!I heard your news clips...have you pasted them as an intro? Haven't heard that. I think that it's appropriate (speaking for myself) that the clips make it specific to this particular disaster. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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