If I were president... (from a guitarist's standpoint).

[Eric Iverson]

Before I go further, this is NOT about politics.. it's just for fun!

If I were president, I'd:

1. Give free guitar lessons to kids in school who were interested, and have school instruments for them to borrow - like they do with band instruments.

2. Make it illegal for youtube music videos to have commercials interrupting the music of whole albums - at the beginning and end is OK, but it's almost blasphemous to interrupt the flow of a musical masterpiece with a BS maximum commercial. It's INDECENT!

I could think of a few more, I'm sure, but I defer to you guys!

[Caevan O’Shite]

Promote incentives for schools to include, keep, and promote music and art programs; create curriculum that bridges music theory, appreciation, and performance with math and social-studies.

[Dannyalcatraz]

...I'm game!

 

I'd use the Jimi Hendrix & Marvin Gaye versions of the National Anthem whenever I could.

 

I'd have a R&R backup band present to do pre-arranged musical flares based on my gestures, a la James Brown. Including a blast of noise when I wanted to cut someone off.

 

I'd create a new musical analog to Poet Laureate. I don't know who I'd choose a the first one just yet, but Eric Johnson, Cyril Neville, Dick Dale, Lyle Lovette, Willie Nelson, Bonnie Raitt, Aretha Franklin, and Doctor John would be on the short list.

[Larryz]

I would declare a National Holiday for all guitar pickers! All government buildings would be shut down on Django's birthday and every guitar player gets a free American Standard Les Paul or Stratocaster! And they can play as loud as they want to on that day!

[Dannyalcatraz]

All of my political appointments would be immortalized on plectrums. The "Presidential Picks" collection would be a hot collectible.

[desertbluesman]

If I were president, I would have enough money for a Pro Tools system and a room to put it in. Also a high dollar amp and several decent guitars that I would build from Warmouth woods/parts. I would hire a band to be my rhythm section and instead of a presidential library I would buy a tour bus. Since I became president by being a self serving politico, selling my soul for campaign finance, screw the country, and the US citizens, I am in it all for myself.

 

(All of the above is my sicko attempt at humor, please do not take a word of it seriously)

 

Now you can see why I ain't president, I happen to want to do right by my fellow Americans, and that can't happen in this political climate.

[Winston Psmith]

Alright, I'll dip my toes in . . . here's my 7-point Program.

 

1) All joking aside, more money for Music Education. I don't care if some kid wants to learn the Bassoon instead of the Guitar, get an instrument in their hands. If they want to learn the Accordian, we'll just try to forgive them.

 

2) Bring back Community String Orchestras. If you've ever seen those photos from the 1890's & early 1900's, with Banjolins, Guitar-Harps, and other mutant instruments, that's what I'm talking about. Who cares if no one remembers how to tune or play the bloody things, I want to hear a hundred of them trying to hit the same chord!

 

3) Have OSHA determine volume limits at your local Guitar Warehouse. "Sorry, no more than four wankers at at time, and keep those Volume pots at 3!"

 

4) Deport Simon Cowell . . .

 

5) Illegal imports would be seized, re-branded & stripped of their fake logos, and re-distributed to schools, VA hospitals and community groups. Why destroy a bunch of useable instruments, so long as the counterfeiters don't get to profit off them? Every "Givson" that winds up in a wood chipper could go to someone who can't afford a Guitar otherwise.

 

6) Start a Music & Arts Recruitment program. Since there isn't a lot of emphasis on Arts Education right now, except in affluent communities, we need Artists and Musicians to reach out, to go to schools, hospitals, retirement homes, even animal shelters. Just bear in mind that a 20-minute, feedback-laden version of Wild Thing is probably not appropriate for every venue . . .

 

7) Finally, I'd put great American musicians on our money, so people would never forget them. "Hey, you got change for a Miles?" "No man, I've only got a Jimi, and two Copelands." I'd put John Cage on the penny, Milton Babbitt on the nickel, Harry Partch on the dime, and Phillip Glass on the quarter, just so people would have to ask, "Who are these guys?" The Residents would get the re-issued $2 bill, because, well, just because. (Yes, there really is, or was, a $2 bill.) We'd probably have to come up with a new denomination for Sun Ra . . . the $777-dollar bill, maybe?

 

That's all, folks . . .

[Larryz]

^ number 4 cracks me up LOL!

[SEHpicker]

Alright, I'll dip my toes in . . . here's my 7-point Program.

 

1) All joking aside, more money for Music Education. I don't care if some kid wants to learn the Bassoon instead of the Guitar, get an instrument in their hands. If they want to learn the Accordian, we'll just try to forgive them.

 

2) Bring back Community String Orchestras. If you've ever seen those photos from the 1890's & early 1900's, with Banjolins, Guitar-Harps, and other mutant instruments, that's what I'm talking about. Who cares if no one remembers how to tune or play the bloody things, I want to hear a hundred of them trying to hit the same chord!

 

3) Have OSHA determine volume limits at your local Guitar Warehouse. "Sorry, no more than four wankers at at time, and keep those Volume pots at 3!"

 

4) Deport Simon Cowell . . .

 

5) Illegal imports would be seized, re-branded & stripped of their fake logos, and re-distributed to schools, VA hospitals and community groups. Why destroy a bunch of useable instruments, so long as the counterfeiters don't get to profit off them? Every "Givson" that winds up in a wood chipper could go to someone who can't afford a Guitar otherwise.

 

6) Start a Music & Arts Recruitment program. Since there isn't a lot of emphasis on Arts Education right now, except in affluent communities, we need Artists and Musicians to reach out, to go to schools, hospitals, retirement homes, even animal shelters. Just bear in mind that a 20-minute, feedback-laden version of Wild Thing is probably not appropriate for every venue . . .

 

7) Finally, I'd put great American musicians on our money, so people would never forget them. "Hey, you got change for a Miles?" "No man, I've only got a Jimi, and two Copelands." I'd put John Cage on the penny, Milton Babbitt on the nickel, Harry Partch on the dime, and Phillip Glass on the quarter, just so people would have to ask, "Who are these guys?" The Residents would get the re-issued $2 bill, because, well, just because. (Yes, there really is, or was, a $2 bill.) We'd probably have to come up with a new denomination for Sun Ra . . . the $777-dollar bill, maybe?

 

That's all, folks . . .

 

Are you running on the Gibson or Fender ticket?

Oh No!! Not 3rd party!!!!

[JuJu Kwan]

I'll be an Economist(unemployed one)one week from today, so I'll approach from an economic point of view. I would make the cost of shipping from the U.S.A. to China the same as shipping from China to the U.S.A.. This helps both the U.S.A. manufacturer and the Chinese consumer.

[Dannyalcatraz]

Alright, I'll dip my toes in . . . here's my 7-point Program.

 

1) All joking aside, more money for Music Education. I don't care if some kid wants to learn the Bassoon instead of the Guitar, get an instrument in their hands. If they want to learn the Accordian, we'll just try to forgive them.

 

2) Bring back Community String Orchestras. If you've ever seen those photos from the 1890's & early 1900's, with Banjolins, Guitar-Harps, and other mutant instruments, that's what I'm talking about. Who cares if no one remembers how to tune or play the bloody things, I want to hear a hundred of them trying to hit the same chord!

 

3) Have OSHA determine volume limits at your local Guitar Warehouse. "Sorry, no more than four wankers at at time, and keep those Volume pots at 3!"

 

4) Deport Simon Cowell . . .

 

5) Illegal imports would be seized, re-branded & stripped of their fake logos, and re-distributed to schools, VA hospitals and community groups. Why destroy a bunch of useable instruments, so long as the counterfeiters don't get to profit off them? Every "Givson" that winds up in a wood chipper could go to someone who can't afford a Guitar otherwise.

 

6) Start a Music & Arts Recruitment program. Since there isn't a lot of emphasis on Arts Education right now, except in affluent communities, we need Artists and Musicians to reach out, to go to schools, hospitals, retirement homes, even animal shelters. Just bear in mind that a 20-minute, feedback-laden version of Wild Thing is probably not appropriate for every venue . . .

 

7) Finally, I'd put great American musicians on our money, so people would never forget them. "Hey, you got change for a Miles?" "No man, I've only got a Jimi, and two Copelands." I'd put John Cage on the penny, Milton Babbitt on the nickel, Harry Partch on the dime, and Phillip Glass on the quarter, just so people would have to ask, "Who are these guys?" The Residents would get the re-issued $2 bill, because, well, just because. (Yes, there really is, or was, a $2 bill.) We'd probably have to come up with a new denomination for Sun Ra . . . the $777-dollar bill, maybe?

 

That's all, folks . . .

 

Are you running on the Gibson or Fender ticket?

Oh No!! Not 3rd party!!!!

 

Yep- Reverend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To capture the Evangelical vote...

[Winston Psmith]

Are you running on the Gibson or Fender ticket?

Oh No!! Not 3rd party!!!!

 

I'd probably have to run on the Gibson ticket, since almost all of the planks in my party platform are Mahogany . . .

[Dannyalcatraz]

[Dannyalcatraz]

I guess it would be risky to run on a Godin platform, even ones made in Canada with American parts...

[Eric Iverson]

Would you have prove your "political correctness", say by not playing electric sitars or Fender electric 12-strings?

Also - a possible campaign slogan - "Loud and Proud (But not Lewd and Crude)"

Although there seems to be an AUDIENCE for lewd and crude, nowadays.....

[whitefang]

JuJu, extend that to Korea and any other Asian and southeast Asian country that American based guitar makers outsource to and you've got my consideration!

 

I go with Winston on the money appropriations for music education. When I was back in elementary school, we used to have "music class"(the only class in grade school in which we changed both teachers and classrooms) although all I seemed to have learned was "FACE" and "Every Good Boy Does Fine", I DID learn the difference between quarter note, half note, full note, etc. and the meaning of time signatures, which although I can't read notation, whenever someone in some basement band I was in shouted something like, "Play 3/4 time!" I knew what he meant.

 

I would have a horticulturist shape the rose garden into the form of a Martin D-28.

 

As it's been done with "President's Day", I'd combine the birthdays of CHARLIE CHRISTIAN, LES PAUL, JIMI HENDRIX and CHET ATKINS into ONE holiday and call it "Picker's Day". Name suggestions are welcome, and long weekends are a distinct possibility.

 

High School marching bands would have a guitar section in which all the guitarists march down the street in parades plugged into Pignoses.

 

Music classes in schools would be compelled to include music appreciation so that students will learn to NOT reject any genre of music out of hand.

Whitefang

[JuJu Kwan]

Whitefang, I would include Korea and others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

china

[Winston Psmith]

I go with Winston on the money appropriations for music education. When I was back in elementary school, we used to have "music class"(the only class in grade school in which we changed both teachers and classrooms) although all I seemed to have learned was "FACE" and "Every Good Boy Does Fine", I DID learn the difference between quarter note, half note, full note, etc. and the meaning of time signatures, which although I can't read notation, whenever someone in some basement band I was in shouted something like, "Play 3/4 time!" I knew what he meant.

 

Music classes in schools would be compelled to include music appreciation so that students will learn to NOT reject any genre of music out of hand.

Whitefang

 

'Fang, I had a "Music Appreciation" teacher. She was the Art teacher, somehow drafted into this assignment. She tried, nobly, to 'play' the Autoharp, the only instrument she could manage. Her sense of rhythm, and thus her pick strokes across the strings, were akin to someone trying to swat away a stinging insect, without having to touch the thing. Painful to watch, even more painful to listen to.

 

I'm with you on Music Appreciation, but for "BOB"'s sake, get someone who can really play music to teach it!!!!!!

[whitefang]

Well WINSTON, Mrs. Snyder the music class teacher at Goodell elementary, did play the piano at any of our scant grade school "assemblies". I also recall she was the teacher who arranged to have a few members of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra come in for one assembly to explain their instruments and the role of the conductor. As I already loved "Peter and The Wolf", I remember being intrigued.

Whitefang

[Dannyalcatraz]

In most of the schools I attended, music appreciation- if we had it- was R&R...Recorders and Rhythm Sticks. Ahhhh..."Cherry Blossoms".

 

OTOH, my Mom was a music teacher (voice & piano), so there was no question as to whether or not music and at least one instrument would be part of my cultural education.

[Eric Iverson]

In my grade school, we had a music teacher who played parts of classical symphonies for us, and we had to identify which piece it was. One time they took us to a symphony concert.

Both my mom and dad were great music lovers, and I grew up hearing Beethoven and Glenn Miller - not that they wanted to CONVERT me - they just enjoyed hearing it themselves!

I played trumpet in school bands, where at least I learned to read music. We were expected to play the notes on the page, and the concept of improvised solos was never even MENTIONED. Then I took up the guitar at 15, when it was all about "jamming", and if you wanted to learn a song, you had someone show you or learned it yourself off the record. So it was like two completely different worlds!

I really can't complain about the music education I got in public school. No, it wasn't geared to us going on to Juilliard or Berklee and becoming PROFESSIONALS!

[whitefang]

Yeah, no "music class" in my school district back then ever went about the task of teaching anyone HOW to play any instrument. They more or less tried to help with understanding the PROPERTIES of music. But by the time I reached high school cost cutting measures eliminated such classes, and the closest thing we had was CHORUS CLASS, in which we spent the days being placed (after Mr. Merritt one by one determined who was a tenor, alto, baritone or whatever) in our specific vocal ranges and sang wierd old tunes like "Drill Ye Tarriers, Drill".

Whitefang

[Delta]

I guess it would be risky to run on a Godin platform, even ones made in Canada with American parts...

 

That would be the Ted Cruz ticket.

[Delta]

If I were Prez I'd increase NASA's budget for the sole purpose of finding the greatest guitarists in the Universe.