so I'm leaving the band

[scottasin]

after 4 years, two lineup changes, and the recording/release of the debut album, I truly feel like its the best time for everyone involved for me to leave the band. This weekend we're releasing our album (recorded well over a year ago) with three shows on the Colorado Front Range, and after those I believe I won't be playing with Genetics anymore.

 

I actually posted on here all those years ago regarding being called to audition for a band, something I'd never done before. My initial reaction was (if I recall correctly, I probably oughtta find that thread, bring myself full circle) 'its not really my style of music, but damn are they good and damn do I need to be in a band'. Well, I tried for the past 4 years, but the style has been weighing on me more and more. Its just so far from what I truly enjoy playing, and its only going to continue to get farther from that... It just felt that musically the other three always wanted pretty much the opposite of what I wanted. I was always the odd man out regarding what we wanted to do with our songs and whatnot... We just see things from a different perspective, yaknow? The parts I'd have liked to see extended they wanted to shorten, the parts I wasn't a fan of (or even hated playing sometimes) were the ones they wanted to extend. I'm also the youngest in the band, and the other guys had grown up playing together, while I sorta jumped in much later. For a very long time I just haven't felt that I'm the right fit for the band. I very truly believe that if I'd stuck around for longer I'd end up holding them back from what they're truly capable of because of my lack of enthusiasm for the music.

 

I'd been deliberating for a while regarding how and when to leave the band, and it had been eating me up... I saw absolutely no way of doing so without pulling the rug right out from under the other guys... They're absolutely 100% committed to the band. My opportunity finally came, and it really seems like the perfect time for me. In my head, it really seems to work out poetically. We're gonna have a second guitar player sit in with us for our album release shows (something that was never really put past me, for the record, I discovered it when our manager put our posters up online). When he came up to practice with us, it was clear to me that he was a PERFECT fit for the band, everything they've always wanted but I've never been able to deliver... The idea got in my head that A) they're gonna want him to be in the band, and the B) there's a replacement for me. We practiced with him again, and the other guys were just geeking out about it and saying that, yes, we have to have him in the band. Well, it seemed to me that they'd be able to tell I was obviously holding something back about him being in the band... Not wanting them to think I was resentful or jealous of this other guitar player, I had to level with them. It makes sense to me, I played with them all of this time up to the release of the album I'm on, and with that release begins the next era of the band. Having both me and the new guy play for the shows seems right, it seems like a smooth transition.

 

I'm very excited to move forward in my life and be able to do things on my own terms and not be tied to what 3 other people want to do. This is really the first time in my life I'll actually be independent... I was living at my parents house as a college dropout when I got swept up in this, and as such haven't truly 'set out on my own' yet. I'm excited to be driving my own bus instead of a passenger on someone elses. Things are, of course, awkward as hell... the guys haven't said more than 10 words to me since I told them my plans. The lease on the band house isn't up until the end of August, I might try to stick it out living here (its cheap, and an awesome house in an awesome location) or I might try to find someone to come in and sub lease, as I very badly feel like I need my own place to truly move forward mentally and start working on my own things. Regardless of what my housing situation is, I just want to work as much as possible this summer, hopefully save some money to visit friends or something. Musically, I've been working on my singing a lot lately, I've been getting back into writing and lyrics, and I want to just see if I can't come up with a decent little solo piano/vocal show to take to some local places for fun. I am not at all giving up on music, I'm just back to step 1.

 

sorry if none of that makes sense, I kinda just brainfarted it all out.

 

EDIT: here's that thread. https://forums.musicplayer.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/2359673/1 Seems like I remembered it pretty well. The timing issues definitely got ironed out, our drummer worked his ass off, but other than that, most of the concerns I had then are still around today. Glad I looked back on that.

[dsetto]

good for you. That's a tough thing. The way I look at it is, in addition to driving your own bus; you may also at some point find/seek another shared bus, that's on a road towards your destination.

[timwat]

You will look back on this season of life with a great deal of satisfaction...when it's in the rear view mirror.

 

One of the common encouragements out here in the SF Bay Area (the domain of early stage companies, startups and entrepreneurs) is, "Fail often, fail forward."

 

You may not consider your tenure a failure - and it doesn't sound like one to me - but however you ponder and digest your time with this band, learn from it.

 

What kind of positive changes did you learn? What kind of a better person did it reveal to you? What can you do now you couldn't before?

 

Seasons of big change are the best tutors.

[HammondDave]

Your story makes sense. An artist should follow his passion wherever it leads. You must keep your artistic integrity, or else you will never be happy.

[NewImprov]

It sounds like you are taking a very mature and considered approach to leaving the band, and doing so in a way that doesn't alienate your bandmates as friends and possible future collaborators. Good for you!

 

 

[scottasin]

You will look back on this season of life with a great deal of satisfaction...when it's in the rear view mirror.

 

One of the common encouragements out here in the SF Bay Area (the domain of early stage companies, startups and entrepreneurs) is, "Fail often, fail forward."

 

You may not consider your tenure a failure - and it doesn't sound like one to me - but however you ponder and digest your time with this band, learn from it.

 

What kind of positive changes did you learn? What kind of a better person did it reveal to you? What can you do now you couldn't before?

 

Seasons of big change are the best tutors.

this is a great post, and thats exactly the way I'm trying to see it. The band has been a wonderful experience and I'm very glad that I played with them while I did and did all the awesome stuff we did (I opened up for P-Funk for Chrissakes), but I'm also excited to take those experiences and bring them with me to the rest of my life. I was a pretty lazy unmotivated teenager when I joined the band, and I'm very glad to not be at this point. I'm a LOT more mentally healthy than I was 4 years ago, thats for sure.

[Bobadohshe]

Well said by Timwat. I can't believe it's been 4 years, I remember that thread very well.

[Bobadohshe]

I said this in that first thread, and hopefully this is what has been borne out by your time with them:

 

But on the other hand, you're young, and I think we all have to go through a period of kicking around with bands like this and getting some performance chops under our belt. At least I did. You will be forced to explore your sonic palette, and hopefully contribute to the compositional process a little bit too. Hopefully you'll grow to the level they're at (if you're not already) but then you'll keep growing THROUGH it and eventually shed this band. What is critical is what someone mentioned earlier - don't make this 'BAND' the end all and be all of your musical life. It's so important that you keep growing as a player, listening to other music and striving to grow and studying the greats.

[Danny Linguini]

This kind of thing is always a tough decision. I'm actually wrestling with it now myself, thinking of killing the duo and going solo. It usually involves a little self doubt, and a lot of questioning of what's the right move. Eventually you just have to decide, as you have done, whether sticking with it is the best thing for you and the rest of the band. No matter what, you've had four years of working your chops with what sounds like some talented guys, which is never a bad thing; plus you now have a strong sense of what you don't want to do going forward. The other guys will most likely eventually see that this change is good for them, too. But the bottom line is, you have to do what's right for you. It's all good, and everything else will work itself out, as long as you have the will to make it happen. Best of luck to you!

[Joe Muscara]

I don't have anything to add, except good luck!

 

Life is full of phases and changes. Enjoy them all.

[Michael Wright]

http://images1.tickld.com/live/878525.jpg

Ya gotta do your own thing.

[rickzjamm]

Never easy leaving a comfort zone, even when it becomes increasingly uncomfortable. Timwat is a wise sage indeed... challenges in life usually turn into golden opportunities.

[scottasin]

Well, got through the album release and final three shows and everything went pretty much as well as possible. I'm very pleased. Although we didn't make any official announcements at the shows or online yet I was able to be open about it with our close friends and biggest fans at the shows, and it felt really good to be able to tell a select few people in person what was going on before they found out through facebook. The shows themselves went amazingly, we had 600 through the door the first night (in Denver), 400 through the door in Boulder, and a somewhat disappointing less than 100 in Fort Collins, but we also had the most direct competition that night. The first two were some of the worst sound nights I'd had with the band, but it couldn't really phase me at that point. The last night the sound was phenomenal though, and I was able to really play like I wanted to.

 

One of the coolest parts of the run though was having one of our good friends and a much older more experienced established musician sitting in with us for them, Chuck Morris from the band Lotus. He's played with us a bunch of times and its been really cool to go from a huge fan of his when I was in highschool to a friend. Getting to talk to him about leaving the band and hearing his perspective on it was great and a conversation I'll probably never forget. It was great to hear from someone who's been touring for the past 14 years and basically done it all (including sell out Red Rocks).

 

Things are great with the band too. I basically gave them their space for most of last week after an understandably somewhat hostile response to initially hearing about it, and they really did come to terms with it well. The morning after the last show I had a great conversation with a couple of the guys and was able to truly let them know my full perspective and hear theirs as well.

 

All in all, I'm happy and excited for the future. Its gonna be a challenge starting over from pretty much square one again, but thats what I signed up for.

[Michael Wright]

Its gonna be a challenge starting over from pretty much square one again, but thats what I signed up for.

Well you have lots more experience now, not square one at all.

[MAJUSCULE]

Missed answering this the first time around. Gotta say, I was really surprised when I saw the title, but reading your post, it makes a lot of sense. Seems like the right decision to take. Projects, or our involvement in them, do run a natural course of life and you have to know when to check yourself out.

 

I'm happy to hear the guys have come around. If you're right about this new guitarist, they'll probably end up thanking you. I'm also excited to see what your new solo direction will sound like! Make sure you post samples when they happen!

 

Keep on truckin', pal. Music is a wild ride!

[scottasin]

Thanks for the encouragement guys! Really do appreciate it.

 

I forgot to post the album! It was recorded in 2013, its OLD playing, but it still ended up sounding pretty decent in my opinion. Not incredible mixing or production when I put it head to head with other music, but on its own it sounds solid...

 

https://geneticscolorado.bandcamp.com/

[Michael Wright]

Yeah, well ,....I thiiiiink .......I have a feeling, that I just kinda quite my band too.

[J. Dan]

You know, it's pretty amazing being on this forum long enough to follow entire chapters of peoples' lives. I remember when you joined the band, posted early demos, pondered the decision to move to CO, and saw as you grew as an artist. Brings a tear to my eye. Lol. Seriously, though....this place I believe is much more personal and tight knit than most online communities, and I consider it a privilege to be included in your endeavors to the extent we are.

[Michael Wright]

You know, it's pretty amazing being on this forum long enough to follow entire chapters of peoples' lives. I remember when you joined the band, posted early demos, pondered the decision to move to CO, and saw as you grew as an artist. Brings a tear to my eye. Lol. Seriously, though....this place I believe is much more personal and tight knit than most online communities, and I consider it a privilege to be included in your endeavors to the extent we are.

I remember scott starting out and asking advice here. Kudos to him!

[MotiDave]

You know, it's pretty amazing being on this forum long enough to follow entire chapters of peoples' lives. I remember when you joined the band, posted early demos, pondered the decision to move to CO, and saw as you grew as an artist. Brings a tear to my eye. Lol. Seriously, though....this place I believe is much more personal and tight knit than most online communities, and I consider it a privilege to be included in your endeavors to the extent we are.

[Adan]

I remember advising Scott to give college another go rather than run off with a band. I tell you, these kids of ours . . .

 

When you're in a band like this, a real committed band member giving it your all, there's going to be a tendency to stay with it longer than you should, long after the signs are there that it's not working. I have no doubt you'll look back on this in 6 months and feel very good about your decision. And if I were you I'd get out of that house asap. The psychological weight of staying there must be a huge burden.

[Danny Linguini]

Yeah, well ,....I thiiiiink .......I have a feeling, that I just kinda quite my band too.

 

I thiiiiiiink I ditched my duo partner, too. Things were definitely getting stale, he's been very resistant to learning anything new, and our last gig was like a compilation tape of everything that annoys the shit out of me. And, even though I'm about flawless (he says in true feigned seriousness), I would not be shocked to learn that went the other way around, too.

 

I've got my first solo gig on Monday (so yeah, I guess I definitely ditched him). On one hand, I'm apprehensive that my voice will hold out for three hours without someone else to share vocal duties with, and that I can fill the whole set with stuff that sounds good; but on the other hand, I feel so free now that I can do anything I want. I've been spending the last three weeks going through my charts weeding out the stuff that either sounds like crap or is too much work to do alone (amazing the stuff I thought I could do but actually can't, and vice-versa), and the wife says it sounds good, so I'm fairly confident it will be passable. Also using the drum machine AND the TC-Helicon together for the first time just to add to the stress level. Add that to the first-time jitters on top of the usual pre-performance butterflies, and I'm finding myself in growing need of narcotics.

 

Sorry to hijack. Had to vent.

[allan_evett]

You know, it's pretty amazing being on this forum long enough to follow entire chapters of peoples' lives. I remember when you joined the band, posted early demos, pondered the decision to move to CO, and saw as you grew as an artist. Brings a tear to my eye. Lol. Seriously, though....this place I believe is much more personal and tight knit than most online communities, and I consider it a privilege to be included in your endeavors to the extent we are.

 

Well stated, Dan. I remember Scott's original post, and the resulting discussion, quite well. And now, another chapter. I think you'll continue to do well out west, Scott. You live in a great place that has a vibrant scene. And you've grown a lot, musically. Wish we could've gotten the chance to hang when I lived out there.... But I do get back that way a few times a year, so you never know

 

Leaving projects happens to all of us, and for a variety of reasons. Out of a dozen or so cover bands, and a small handful of original projects, there are perhaps four I'd have chosen to stay with long term - if they'd gone the distance. And over the past year I've made the choice to leave two acts; one being a rather established, decently paying gig. But when a band's collective habits become batshit crazy, it's high time to cut ties.

[Brettymike]

Yeah, well ,....I thiiiiink .......I have a feeling, that I just kinda quite my band too.

 

I thiiiiiiink I ditched my duo partner, too. Things were definitely getting stale, he's been very resistant to learning anything new, and our last gig was like a compilation tape of everything that annoys the shit out of me. And, even though I'm about flawless (he says in true feigned seriousness), I would not be shocked to learn that went the other way around, too.

 

I've got my first solo gig on Monday (so yeah, I guess I definitely ditched him). On one hand, I'm apprehensive that my voice will hold out for three hours without someone else to share vocal duties with, and that I can fill the whole set with stuff that sounds good; but on the other hand, I feel so free now that I can do anything I want. I've been spending the last three weeks going through my charts weeding out the stuff that either sounds like crap or is too much work to do alone (amazing the stuff I thought I could do but actually can't, and vice-versa), and the wife says it sounds good, so I'm fairly confident it will be passable. Also using the drum machine AND the TC-Helicon together for the first time just to add to the stress level. Add that to the first-time jitters on top of the usual pre-performance butterflies, and I'm finding myself in growing need of narcotics.

 

Sorry to hijack. Had to vent.

 

 

Can we have a listen to see how it's sounding Mr Bear?

Brett

[Danny Linguini]

Can we have a listen to see how it's sounding Mr Bear?

Brett

 

Ha! Well I do appreciate the interest! Unfortunately I don't have anything up anywhere that's sharable. Although I think my wife recorded a bit of Unchain My Heart today that might end up on FB if history is any indicator. If I can link it (and after I confirm it doesn't suck), I'll throw it up here somewhere.

 

Speaking of which, today was the first solo gig, and it couldn't have gone much better. Sound was good, people seemed to enjoy the mostly easy-listening song selection, and I got a lot of compliments. It was outside, which I usually don't do, but there was a light cloud cover most of the afternoon with temps in the 70's, and it was almost perfect. The DBR10's really sounded great. And most of all, after three hours, my voice felt fine, like I could have gone for three more. I surprised myself because that was my biggest concern.

 

Oh yeah, and they want me back again. Can't ask for better than that. Time to seriously beef up the repertoire (a lot of the duo stuff either doesn't work well solo or I just don't like it), 'cos I'm thinking I won't mind doing this a few times a month at a couple of my favorite haunts.

[Brettymike]

^^^ *Thumbs Up* Mr Bear , sounds like the stars are aligning for you and --> "they want me back again" > proof

Brett

[MotiDave]

Can we have a listen to see how it's sounding Mr Bear?

Brett

 

Ha! Well I do appreciate the interest! Unfortunately I don't have anything up anywhere that's sharable. Although I think my wife recorded a bit of Unchain My Heart today that might end up on FB if history is any indicator. If I can link it (and after I confirm it doesn't suck), I'll throw it up here somewhere.

 

Speaking of which, today was the first solo gig, and it couldn't have gone much better. Sound was good, people seemed to enjoy the mostly easy-listening song selection, and I got a lot of compliments. It was outside, which I usually don't do, but there was a light cloud cover most of the afternoon with temps in the 70's, and it was almost perfect. The DBR10's really sounded great. And most of all, after three hours, my voice felt fine, like I could have gone for three more. I surprised myself because that was my biggest concern.

 

Oh yeah, and they want me back again. Can't ask for better than that. Time to seriously beef up the repertoire (a lot of the duo stuff either doesn't work well solo or I just don't like it), 'cos I'm thinking I won't mind doing this a few times a month at a couple of my favorite haunts.

Thats an awesome report, Bearman! love to read the joy and newfound excitement in your report ... its about doin' your thing and loving it. if you weren't loving it with anchorweight-partner ... cut the chain and fly free. life is too short.

 

congrats!

[Brettymike]

^^^ +1000

Brett

[Danny Linguini]

Thats an awesome report, Bearman! love to read the joy and newfound excitement in your report ... its about doin' your thing and loving it. if you weren't loving it with anchorweight-partner ... cut the chain and fly free. life is too short.

 

congrats!

^^^ +1000

Brett

 

Love you guys. Can't tell you how much the support means. And yeah, I'm lovin' it. I can't wait for the next gig, and it's been quite awhile since I've felt that way.

[Brettymike]

...and your audience will love it too , go Mr Bear!

Brett