BluesKeys

I just got my VR 09 Saturday. Of all the great in it I am most dissatisfied with the Overdrive. It seems to go from 0-crap in less than a quarter turn. Is there a fix for that? This thread has gotten so long I can't find anything without spending days.

There is a VR-09 in my future. I just sold my Korg Triton LE last Saturday and can't wait to get my hands on one.

Still use my RP-X on my second rig. And Dave was nice enough to help me dial the pianos into a better sound through my JBL EONs. We spent about 30 min on the phone and if I recall he was no longer their rep.

There is a band that played close by that I wanted to see. They are call Mingo Fishtrap, out of Austin.

Can you play Freebird?

Lonnie, I have always wanted to play sax and in my next life instead of schlepping keys and stands and amps I WILL be a horn player.

Thanks mogut... That is me on Power of love, My brother on Heaven and my wife Heather on the rest. Looking for a bunch of work for this band.

I have now gotten my new band site up on myspace The Back N Time Band is ready to hit the streets http://www.myspace.com/backntimebandnc Please sign up and be our friends and let me know what you think good and bad.

Aidan, glad your OK a step like that could have really hurt your back. As for Tom he is what we call down south a true blue friend, or as I say a man I would buy a beer for anytime.

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Men never learn. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think

This is a tune I wrote and the CD has JUST been Released. I Wanna Show You (2nd tune down) www.myspace.com/2theninez The horns were written by our esteemed DaveE I play EP/Piano/Strings and sing on this cut.

Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Ole and Sven went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish, and Sven says, "The way I figger it, Ole, each of them fish cost us $400. Well. At dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." "How long you want 'em, Ole?" "Long time. I'm building a house, ya know." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low railings." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Mama, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No, it's because you're NINETEEN." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Say, I went and bought Lena a piano for her birthday and then about a week later I traded it in for a clarinet, because you know, with a clarinet, you can't sing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the freeway, he calls up Lena and he says, "Oh, Lena, I'm calling you from the freeway on my new car phone." And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is driving the wrong way on the freeway." And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. And there he is, he's hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him -- certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. It's the Lord, Ole. Have faith. Let go of that bush and I will save you." Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For Sale." But you don't own a boat, Ole. All you got is your old John Deere tractor and your combine. "Yup, and they're boat for sale." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hello? Funeral home?" "Yes?" "It's Ole. My wife Lena died." "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. We'll send someone right away to pick up the body. Where do you live?" "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." "Can you spell that for me?" "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that would help." ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY! You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Cut it out!" And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. They're only jokes!" And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy sitting on your knee!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ole and Lena had been married seven years. Lena was getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. She thought he was cheating on her. Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. Is there someone else?" Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. If I ever change my mind I'll let you know." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren't ready yet." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. They went into the living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. Ole wrote something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the room. Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " Gren sida oop!" This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the house until they were finished. Finally, the husband couldn't contain himself any longer, he had to find out what was going on. "I'm confused," he said. "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop! Now, I know a little Swedish and we didn't choose green in any room. What's going on?" "Oh!", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, Sven and Ole are bungee-jumping one day. Sven says to OLe, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." Ole thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Sven jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Ole notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able catch him, Sven falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again,Ole misses him. Sven falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" Sven says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a pinata?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sven was buying his first TV. He went into the furniture shop where Ole worked as a salesman. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven said. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. He bought himself a very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned a new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Hey, man, be cool. I really dig that TV there. How much you want for it, cat?" Sven asked. Ole didn't pause in his response. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. He went to a neighboring city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, wa-ja say?" Sven asked. Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did you know I'm a Svede?" "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. The boss noticed and asked where he had been. Ole: "Getting a haircut." Boss: "On company time?" Ole: "It grew on company time." Boss: "Not all of it." Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK." Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage."

linwood, you are amazing.... those drums sound like a drummer I would want in my band. That was sweet... I never can get that feel off a keyboard.

In one episode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this . . "Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

More reasons to DRINK BEER..... whatcha say?

Forgive me if this has appeared before on this thread. I am TOO OLD to go looking for it. You Know You're Too Old To Play Gigs When: 1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp 2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf. 3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m. 4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub 5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie 7. You lost the directions to the gig 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage 10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress was/is your daughter's classmate. 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case 15. You refuse to play without earplugs 16. You ask the c lub owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig 18. Your gig stool has a back 19. You're related to at least one member in the band 20. You don't let any one sit in 21. You need a nap before the gig 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down 24. You prefer a music stand with a light 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever..... 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ... 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it.

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad... How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now". Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right." Tiger says, "You play golf?" Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years". Tiger says, "But, you're blind. How can you play golf if you can't see?" Stevie Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice." "But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger. "Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice." Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?" Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer." Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime." Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole". Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that, - when would you like to play?" Stevie says, "Pick a night".

I had this happen to me several years back and I found out that the bass player the band had just hired before the KB search started convinced them to hire his buddy. When his buddy became unreliable the original keyboard player asked if he could come back so I never got a shot at it. THANK GOODNESS for unanswered prayers. I could not have played long with this band. For one I didn't know 90% of the matterial going in and I didn't like 80% of it when I heard it. I would have been miserable. So I let it go.

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yah. I vass a salesman beck in Norda Dakota." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says "one". The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says "$121,237.65". The boss say s "$121,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, and we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Expedition." The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing"

d, the one that gets me every time: P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. best one for the forum P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics please don't give the midget a hammer

I am sure most everyone has seen something similar or maybe this exact post. Heck it's been so long since this thread was started it may even be here. But I ran across it tonight and laughed my arse off again... so without further Ado... ------------------------------------------- Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

Cool sound.... I could see owning one of those

That's my number. So if you need......

I should have looked here before starting a new post.. I thought I was stupid... it turns out the whole lot of us are. :grin: I am frustrated with the search function and I hope the Master Quinn can help with a fix. Hey Jim

1. Looking at 2 dead ones... can't smoke either mmm 2. I have no problems with 2. 3. Let me count.... more beer at the moment. 4. I do go to sleep earlier, but 4 am is close. 5. Try not to ride elevators... but this one is possible. DARN 6. Don't have cable 7. Yea well I got OLD Friends like ..... 8. I'm always on vacation.... :grin: 9. Jeans and a silk shirt does though 10. Haven't done it yet because they invite me over.... Alright I'll quit.... but I live by the fact that I chose to be a musician.