how far should a person go...?

[EmptinesOf Youth]

ok, this is mainly towards the older people in the forum, but here it goes. Everytime i get a new piece of equipment my mom gets mad. Shes always like "Your not in a band and I dont want you to end up like your uncle" who is insanely good but there are a lot of people like that. Anyways, i have about $1700 worth of stuff i bought in the last three years, is spending money on this stuff a waste, i seem to enjoy it but do you think its regretable later in life? I dont know, just thinking out loud

ryan

[Tedster]

"The guitar's fine, John, but it'll never earn you a living"...

 

- John Lennon's Aunt Mimi

 

Hey...everyone's got SOMETHING they spend money on. Golf clubs, skis, tools, camping gear, hunting equipment (have you priced deer rifles or compound bows lately?), a boat...how about CARS?!?!?! It's okay to spend upwards of 10 grand on a car, and another god-knows-how-much to fix it up "badass". But guitars? What a fucking waste of money.

 

Find something she spends money on, some hobby, and toss it back at her. It's something you love. As long as it's your own money, it shouldn't be a problem. Now, if you're spending your college tuition on gear, I can see where she'd be pissed.

[Gabriel E.]

Shit. I'm not in a steady band and I have tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment that I've accumulated over the last 16 years. I don't regret any of it.

 

If you enjoy it and you can afford it, you should have it. Better than spending your time playing video games or watching TV.

[Darklava]

If you taken care of all your responibilities

at home and you pay for them yourself no

problems.Sound's like me when I was younger.

1,700.00 is not that much rock on my brother.

[Caevan O’Shite]

Well, if it helps you do what you want to do, it's no less valid than gear for hunting, fishing, boating, whatever. As long as it doesn't cause some unhealthy imbalance in your life, it should be fine.

 

If you would spend more than you should on a guitar or amp just because it looks cool or would impress other players, or "fits in" with the particular style of music you like, but you could easily get the same performance from something for less money- then maybe you should go for the less expensive route, or be satisfied with what you've already got.

 

But, everyone indulges themselves a little when they can. Maybe that's the key thing, to know when you can, and when you should have second thoughts...

[Guitar Geezer]

Originally posted by EmptinessOFYouth:

ok, this is mainly towards the older people in the forum, but here it goes. Everytime i get a new piece of equipment my mom gets mad. Shes always like "Your not in a band and I dont want you to end up like your uncle" who is insanely good but there are a lot of people like that. Anyways, i have about $1700 worth of stuff i bought in the last three years, is spending money on this stuff a waste,

ryan

Good to see Mom's haven't changed much

"You're not gonna be a musician...they can't hold a decent job....smoke marijuana...etc" circa 1960's

 

But then, Dear old Mom bought me an amplifier for Christmas this year (she said that she felt bad when all of my stuff was stolen...Bless her heart)

 

Seriously, we all know that $1700 isn't much at all...but she's probably thinking about College, Car insurance, etc...etc...

And new fuzz boxes don't seem like a necessity

 

On the other hand, don't go buying this or that just because it's the newest toy out there...That can get really expensive..

 

And finally, when you get older it won't be Mom criticizing...it'll be the Wife

 

Now are you thoroughly confused?

 

LynNG

[Dak Lander]

Better Gear than drugs.

GAS won't kill you the other stuff will.

[Guitarzan]

its only a waste if you don't use it. unless you are a collector. why doesn't she want you to be like your uncle? is your uncle happy? make sure you have options for your future. but make sure your future is what makes you happy. does your mom think your uncle isn't a sucess? is it her decision how he should live? just get what you need and remember that all the new gear in the world is no good unless you use it. maybe you can explain to her why you needed certain items. alot of people don't understand that instruments are not toys. its funny i had people looked shocked when i say how much some gear costs(its just wood and wire) yet they think noting of blowing tons of dough on a big screen tv which is the lowest form of wasted time in my opinion. ask her why your gear is a waste of time and money. it does make you happy, does she know that? i am at the point now where i need only what i have, i want more but i don't need it. i get what i need. yes my wife thinks i am crazy but she married me knowing i was like this.

[Dave da Dude]

Guitar geezer,

Good to see Mom's haven't changed much

Or dads. My dad told me that artists (my artistic outlet at the time) couldn't make any money, and I was good at Math., so I should follow my other dream of being an engineer.

 

My grandfather's father-in-law wouldn't "have" his daughter married to a no account muscician playing in bars.

 

My wife (and brother-in-law) doesn't understand why I had to have another amplifier (tube vs. solid state), or now the Strat.

 

It goes on and on ....

 

Follow your heart. Be respectful of your mother, but ... get the guit's, with the prior caveats, your money, not money earmarked for education, etc.

 

BTW, I'm an old geezer of 58, a Mechanical Engineer, married for thirty years with two adopted children of eight and fourteen and have NEVER made my living from music, or played for pay. Just in case your mom thinks I'm some young punk muscician filling your head with poor advice. You can tell her I'm an OLD punk musician filling your head with advice.

 

Dave

[Darklava]

Originally posted by guitar geezer:

Originally posted by EmptinessOFYouth:

ok, this is mainly towards the older people in the forum, but here it goes. Everytime i get a new piece of equipment my mom gets mad. Shes always like "Your not in a band and I dont want you to end up like your uncle" who is insanely good but there are a lot of people like that. Anyways, i have about $1700 worth of stuff i bought in the last three years, is spending money on this stuff a waste,

ryan

Good to see Mom's haven't changed much

"You're not gonna be a musician...they can't hold a decent job....smoke marijuana...etc" circa 1960's

 

But then, Dear old Mom bought me an amplifier for Christmas this year (she said that she felt bad when all of my stuff was stolen...Bless her heart)

 

Seriously, we all know that $1700 isn't much at all...but she's probably thinking about College, Car insurance, etc...etc...

And new fuzz boxes don't seem like a necessity

 

On the other hand, don't go buying this or that just because it's the newest toy out there...That can get really expensive..

 

And finally, when you get older it won't be Mom criticizing...it'll be the Wife

 

Now are you thoroughly confused?

 

LynNG

What amp did you get?

[Guitar Geezer]

Roland Cube 30 (I know it aint tubes..but it sure sounds sweet - and beats having none )

LynnG

[Mike Gug]

I wrote and performed stand up comedy a few years back. Traveled 3 hours round trip to San Fran to perform at open mics for free. I'd get 5 minutes of stage time. When my wife saw me, in a show, on stage, she understood more why I did it. She can be a pretty awesome chick sometimes.

 

Get up on stage and let mom see you in your glory! If you're not doing that because you're scared shitless, that'll be another thread, but you won't die. "Dying" on stage only happens to comedians. Me specifically.

[Darklava]

Originally posted by guitar geezer:

Roland Cube 30 (I know it aint tubes..but it sure sounds sweet - and beats having none )

LynnG

You show got that right.Congrats!

[Dave da Dude]

More on the perception of the worthless, good-for-nothin' musician.

 

We're currently watching our DVD of the movie "Chicago", great movie btw.

 

The point is that the lawyer, Billie whatshisname, defends Roxie the good lookin' defendent with this, (paraphrased) ".. The sins of the big city, jazz and liquor .." For some reason, all "modern" musicians and "modern" music styles have a "bad rep". After Jazz, it was The Blues, then Rock 'n Roll ... and so on.

 

I guess it will always be thus, just like the stereotype of the motorcycle and the Motorcycle Gang complete with black leathers, colors and chains. Chalk it up to PR.

 

Dave

[Rickorder]

Hey,

Don't sweat it...

I've been pluck'n away on guitars for over 30 years. I guess that makes me an old guy :-)

I think a lot of the guys who have answered have it pretty much nailed down.

Here's my 2 cents;

Are you taking care of your end of life? Meaning,are you shirking your responsibilties at home? Have you lost all other drive for other things in life? If not, then buying a couple of guitars and gadgets is not like buying crack.

Although, it is to some parents , who have this unexplainable fear of the Music World.

Maybe your Mom (God bless her) has a bone to pick with your Uncle that she is not letting you in on. Maybe, when they were growing up, in her eyes, she was doing all the work, responsibilties, and he was having all the fun... Make sense ?

We all want to do things that we like to do, some of us can't and that can make us jealous or bitter. There are many parents who have a great fear of what comes along with the Musician's Life. Some of it , understandably so. Not all of our Rock Heroe's have set us upon the cleanest path to follow. How we are brought up, in our families ,dictates how we will answer the bell when it's our turn to shine.

Your Mom is just doing what 99% of all Moms do.

Worry !!!

Show her that you're being responsible and that your goals are many.

Sit her down and play some songs for her, and tell her you Love her. Positive reinforcement will do the trick, on both sides of the fence.

Good Luck to you...

Cheers

[Philip OKeefe]

Originally posted by daklander:

Better Gear than drugs.

GAS won't kill you the other stuff will.

Dak beat me to it. Good advice there Dak!

[Dave da Dude]

Rickorder,

Maybe your Mom (God bless her) has a bone to pick with your Uncle that she is not letting you in on. Maybe, when they were growing up, in her eyes, she was doing all the work, responsibilties, and he was having all the fun... Make sense ?

Makes a LOT of sense. My wife has an attitude like that. She was the oldest, worked to help her single mom out and supplied her oldest brother with lunch money. He saved his lunch money and bought a car. She had no car. BIG problem!

 

It could be something like that. The direct approach would probably never bring that out. Just try talking about her childhood and your uncle. Maybe you can get a better appriciation of where she's "coming from".

 

Dave

[grandwazoooo]

do you enjoy it? if so, enough said.

 

i keep trying to win my grandmother over. she thinks since i play in a rock band, my goal is to get wacked on drugs and girls. the former is certainly not true and she doesn't have to know about the latter. the point is, older non-rockers have a misperception, based on what they see. they're best ignored. or if you make music your mom would like, as someone earlier suggested, have her listen, come to a show. if she doesn't like your style of music, she won't understand, but she doesn't have to.

 

music is fun, and a much more worthwhile hobby than 1700 dollars on playstations, hoopties, or 57 inch tvs.

[KARL FISHER]

I agree that gear is much better than drugs and crime.

 

I am 41, and have been playing an electric since I was 9!!

 

I have bought a lot of stuff over the years, and played in a few bands, but never got the chance yet to play out regularly. I would say this--buy what you need, but do not go broke doing it. If you get to the point that you are going to play out, go in on stuff with the other band members.

 

After thirty years of playing, I FINALLY got a 4-track recorder and started a "rack" two years ago.

 

Have fun, but don't go crazy, and remember one important point...NOTHING you buy is better than PRACTICE!!

 

Karl (SKYNFAN)

[Jim Novak]

Your mother will not stray from wanting you to follow a standard issue way of becoming a "model" self-sustaining person. That's only natural.

 

On the other hand, you should only be so dedicated if it's really what you want to do - in which case, it doesn't really matter what your mother says, does it?

 

Just make sure you don't buy junk gear that you'll want to sell in a year.

[musicalhair]

I agree with MadCowTarzan that it is only a waste if you're not using it-- but then plenty of people blow that kind of money on crap they never use (except if you're among the 90% percent of the rest of the world's population that can't toss money around to fill spiritual voids).

 

The thing is, if music is what makes you tick then that is it and other stuff won't cut it for you. I don't want a new car, I don't want a new house, I don't want more kids, I don't mind wearing the same jeans and tee-shirts for the last fifteen(?) years, I like my guitars, my amps and my audio gear. I drive around in my car and I'm amazed the people I'm with want to talk, I just want to listen to the music. Hell, I probably AM that crazy uncle of yours, or at least my family's version of that guy. Music is my life long freind, my life long meditation, my life long study, and the lens through which I understand the world better through. Most people never even try to find something as meaningful to them as music is to me. They have this epiphany when they have kids. I never had that epiphany-- my priorities changed a lot, but I already had something I loved, and something that tapped me into the soul of eternity-- my music. A good improvised guitar solo, or an unconscious connection with a drummer on stage improvising is as spiritual (now, I'm not saying "more", I'm saying "AS", I'm a religious kind of guy) as anything I've found in any church in any country or any thing else.

 

Lester Young's wife divorced him and took like all the furniture (I think the story goes except a couch), he NEVER replaced the furniture, and probably never thought about it. If you think he is nuts then study and go to college and make something of yourself. If you understand him, then you're already a member of the club-- not the all time jazz great musical genius club , the musician for life club. You can still "make something of yourself" but you'll know as we all do, it is what you do on guitar or on stage that will matter to you more than anything else you might achieve.

[PPaul]

Hey EOY - I wish I still had some of the junk I bought when I was your age. Keep buying, keep collecting, you have a long strange trip ahead of you and you will need many guitars and much gear!

 

As for Mom, just give her a hug and a kiss, and every time you drag something home, "Honest Ma this is the last piece" or "I'm gonna start selling this stuff".

 

PPPPPPaul

[Dave da Dude]

Karl Fisher,

Have fun, but don't go crazy, and remember one important point...NOTHING you buy is better than PRACTICE!!

REAL good point! Not to mention that if your mom sees you diligently practicing on a regular basis, she might just think that you're serious about the guitar, and music, and she should find out more about your interest.

 

Jim Novack,

On the other hand, you should only be so dedicated if it's really what you want to do - in which case, it doesn't really matter what your mother says, does it?

Just make sure you're doing it because YOU want to, not because your mother doesn't want you to.

 

Jim again,

Just make sure you don't buy junk gear that you'll want to sell in a year.

And even if you do want to sell it, and get out of playin' the guitar, if you buy decent gear, you won't lose much when you sell it.

 

PPaul,

As for Mom, just give her a hug and a kiss, and every time you drag something home, "Honest Ma this is the last piece" or "I'm gonna start selling this stuff".

Paul usually your advice is right on. BUT, this time I think there's a flaw in your advice. If he tells his mom either of these things and then goes out, buys more gear and doesn't get rid of any; he's just lied to his mom, in her opinion anyway. That's a BIG problem.

 

Dave

[batterypowered]

I say, just keep buying stuff. That's what I did. Your mom will get over it eventually. I owned 12 guitars, an oud, a ton of electronics, two computers, etc. etc. etc.... all before I moved out.... which, technically, I haven't yet. I'm not living at home, but most of my stuff is just stored in my room, which she doesn't mind. And I've only played live a few times, and that was way back in high school. The other band I formed never worked out, thanks to my lazy friends.

 

Good luck!

[antimatter]

Just be cool with any Plastic purchases.

 

You won't grow old regretting having spent a few thousand bucks on gear. Just don't start charging Classic Les Pauls or stuff you really can't afford. Debt can be like Herpes; with you for life.

 

And Mom is just doing what Moms do. Communicate with her, let her know you put thought into any purchases you make. Tell her you appreciate her looking out for you. She'll love to hear it.

[mstreck]

Before we talk about you, let's look at me for comparison:

 

Before I was in a band I spent no more than $860 on equipment (guitar, amp, pedals) and worried mostly about learning the guitar. In the past two years, I have purchased almost $2265 worth of equipment (new guitar/pickups, new amp, two pedalboards, PA system). I see no NEED to buy more than what I have right now. I use about $1265 worth of equipment when I play (not including the PA) and the rest collects dust. But at $100/gig, I will make well over what I spent in the next year from playing gigs so I am covered. I can also sell what I don't use on eBay if I can bring myself to part with it.

 

Now... I am 35 years old with a full-time job and some disposable income. Let's look at YOU. At your age, you are fortunate to have that much money to spend on equipment. But perhaps your mother's issue isn't what you are spending the money on, but HOW you are spending it. Are you wastefully buying equipment on a whim? Are you foolishly paying retail prices? Or are you buying only what you NEED and thoroughly researching everything and going through a decision-making process (which may include walking away from an overpriced music store empty-handed or waiting a few weeks for the price to drop).

 

Where do your life priorities lie? Are you seeking to become a "professional" musician? Attend a music school? Gig on the weekends? Or is this just a hobby for you? A little reflection can help you determine just how wisely you are spending your money.

 

Mike

[NMcGuitar]

Lotsa good advice here.

Nothing I can really add, but I'll second what most people have said: If you've got the disposable income, do with it what makes you happy.

[elferoony]

Hi. My parents didn't hassle me beyond the usual whine when I bought my AM Strat and Martin DM, but when my Trigonometry grade slipped to a B+, they then constantly want to get rid of my gear, which has become a family embarassment.

[mstreck]

Originally posted by elferoony:

Hi. My parents didn't hassle me beyond the usual whine when I bought my AM Strat and Martin DM, but when my Trigonometry grade slipped to a B+, they then constantly want to get rid of my gear, which has become a family embarassment.

That's easy enough to solve. Get your grade back up to where it was.

 

Mike

[Bubbabeat]

Shit. Your Mom sounds like my wife.