rold Posted May 24, 2001 Author Share Posted May 24, 2001 Originally posted by dansouth@yahoo.com: I find it sad and repulsive that a thread about family has metamorphosed itself into a thread about drugs. Thanks Craig for the touching account of your parenting experiences. I hope that your readers aren't too turned off by the drug debate to find your post and read it, because everyone should. Everyone. Thanks as well from me craig, your posts are really touching.. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Dan, would you find it just as repulsive if the drug talk was about legal drugs? How about aspirin which kills and hospitalizes people? Or do you not consider that a bad drug? Thanks, Rold meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted May 24, 2001 Share Posted May 24, 2001 Originally posted by rold: Dan, would you find it just as repulsive if the drug talk was about legal drugs? How about aspirin which kills and hospitalizes people? Or do you not consider that a bad drug? DRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGSDRUGS... Please, can we drop the drug-subject here right now and move on with the head-line topic "How do you balance family and work?" ? This professional life vs. private life stuff is really important to many of us. /Mats http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted May 24, 2001 Author Share Posted May 24, 2001 Originally posted by mats.olsson@rockfile.se: This professional life vs. private life stuff is really important to many of us. /Mats I think it is important to all of us, and I, too am listening and learning, and greatly appreciate the positive input folks have posted here. However, for the EXTREME minority of us, people being persecuted over unjust laws is important too. But, I am willing to drop it as long as no more arguments come up. It's fairly obvious these arguments are mostly falling on apathetic ears (eyes, whatever) anyway. Peace, Rold This message has been edited by rold on 05-24-2001 at 07:05 AM meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sign Posted May 24, 2001 Share Posted May 24, 2001 Yo Rold. I suppose that was a very smart thing to do, i mean putting your original "balance" question on this forum don't you think so. Look how much response you got and how. I am very sorry to read all this terrible shit about your American system, to be honest i did'nt know it was that bad and it is worse than i was aware of. Can you imagine we just don't have such a problem in Holland? You just go to the coffeeshop and get your weed, there is no problemo at all, nobody is going to jail unless he has an acre of plants. Again i'm very sorry you guys have to deal with a system like that, but as i read on these forums there are many sane people in America too. The future is for the kids and like Craig said, you get out of it what you put into them. Whish you all the best. Peace. The alchemy of the masters moving molecules of air, we capture by moving particles of iron, so that the poetry of the ancients will echo into the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b3wiz Posted May 24, 2001 Share Posted May 24, 2001 You know, my music and my other businesses have kept me on the road a lot over the past 8 years. This year is the first I've had to spend quite a bit of time at home. I always justified that I was supporting my family, which, financially, I was. And my cell phone bills were always around 700 bucks a month even with the best deal my company could get. And I probably had conversations with my wife and kids that we wouldn't have had were I at home. But, I gotta tell ya....there just ain't no place like home. My first couple of months at home I've been to my step daughters field hockey games, my youngest son's girlfriend is a star softball pitcher and we've been going to the playoffs, I've been to my mom and dad's a bunch of times and I hadn't been there for ages. We have had them and my wife's mom and sister over for dinner a lot. I've run sound for both of my son's bands and I'm getting involved with helping the oldest of the 2 with releasing his band's first CD. He, my wife and I are helping a good friend put together a childrens CD for the kids down at the Children's Hospital. My wife and I are gigging together now with a great band. And the biggest joy is sitting down and jamming with my own family!! Wow, I just can't believe what a bass player and drummer I have and I can't take much of the credit because they have done it on their own with the help of some lessons from some great players. But,man, what a rush gettin down and funky with your own kids. I can't believe I've let all this go by for so many years and thought I was actually doing what was right. There will be less money at least for now, but 1. it costs less when I'm not on the road and 2.when I realize that my kids are almost grown up and my life with them has for the most part past us by money suddenly doesn't seem nearly as important. I'm just very grateful that I have been given the time we now have. Helping and watching my own kids succeed with their music far exceeds any satisfaction I ever had with my own musical pursuits. I just doesn't get any better than this. Sorry for wastin' space, but some of these posts got me going. It's great to hear from others that family still matters. john http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted May 24, 2001 Share Posted May 24, 2001 Originally posted by rold: Dan, would you find it just as repulsive if the drug talk was about legal drugs? How about aspirin which kills and hospitalizes people? Or do you not consider that a bad drug? Lots of bad drugs are prescribed by doctors. Lots of governments and businesses are corrupt. Lots of people starve to death. Lots of things in life are unfair, cruel, unjust, etc. I'd prefer to discuss them elsewhere rather than muck up an thread dedicated to a topic that's not even remotely related to these issues. Now, if someone in your family is having problems with drugs, legal or illegal, and mention of it supports the discussion at hand, then by all means, post it. I was only mentioning that I was sad to see this thread digress from "How do you balance music and time with your family?" to "Musicians have screwed up political values." What the hell does the latter have to do with the former? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted May 24, 2001 Author Share Posted May 24, 2001 Originally posted by sign: Yo Rold. I suppose that was a very smart thing to do, i mean putting your original "balance" question on this forum don't you think so. Look how much response you got and how. I am very sorry to read all this terrible shit about your American system, to be honest i did'nt know it was that bad and it is worse than i was aware of. Can you imagine we just don't have such a problem in Holland? You just go to the coffeeshop and get your weed, there is no problemo at all, nobody is going to jail unless he has an acre of plants. Again i'm very sorry you guys have to deal with a system like that, but as i read on these forums there are many sane people in America too. The future is for the kids and like Craig said, you get out of it what you put into them. Whish you all the best. Peace. Hi Sign: Good to hear from you again.. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Yeah, just posting the problem here and having people take the time the respond has been very encouraging and amazing, I learned what *I* had to do to make the situation better, and it is better now... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif I can't thank you folks enough about your advice! As for the situation in America, on the UN list for human rights treatment they are ranked with Russia and China, so the problem is fairly huge to deal with and people really need to be educated to enlighten that. Worse yet, those injustices are promoted worldwide. It's obvious with holland your governments are good to the population, and I think you are very lucky to be living there. The pot thing is really just an indicator that your government is much more willing to stick up for you than give in to US pressure. I forget where Holland ranked on the human rights treatment index, but I'd imagine it was near the top. Canada is the 11th best. Anyway, thanks again for your posts; if you ever do find yourself on the way to BC let me know and I'll hook up with you, show you around, mess around in the studio, etc... All the very best, Harold meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted May 24, 2001 Author Share Posted May 24, 2001 Hi B3, You are not wasting space at all! I posted this originally to learn about how to handle a job as demanding as managing a studio and balance family life with it, which is of utmost importance to me as well. It's very encouraging and enlightening to hear other folks' experiences and interests, and it is definitely influencing me in the real world. It must be amazing being able to help your children through their musical and sport endeavours, all endeavours for that matter! I can't wait.. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Thanks again! All the very best, Harold meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted May 24, 2001 Author Share Posted May 24, 2001 Hi Dan: First I'd like to mention I appreciate your posts and I think your values are in the right place. I also am very glad that you recognize the real problem, not just take the different subject as it's about "that devil weed" like so many folks do, not willing to address the real problem. Also, I apologize if I seem argumentative even on the most encouraging posts; my community is going through a bit of hell while we're seeing the loss of one of our own, very best individuals, to the problems I outlined above, so I tend to get rather encouraged to fight these problems tooth and nail. And I understand your "disgust" with the direction this thread has taken, and I hope you understand why I've put so much effort into it. Thanks again, All the best to you and your family, Harold Peace! meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
- Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 Originally posted by Tedster: One reaps what one sows. If one sows the seeds of togetherness, then, that will be reaped when times are tough. For those who ignore their families to further their pursuits, they in turn will be ignored at a time when they truly need not to be. Tedster -- great post... Kind of puts everything into perspective. There's a whole lotta heart on this board, I think... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 Thanks, Pop...and to John B3wiz... The family that picks together sticks together! "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alphajerk Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 the family that tokes together jokes together http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif alphajerk FATcompilation "if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 DAMMIT ALPHA! I just saw that post as I had a mouthful of coffee...damn near spat it all over everything...sheesh... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alphajerk Posted May 25, 2001 Share Posted May 25, 2001 did i makes it come out of your nose? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/tongue.gif alphajerk FATcompilation "if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 29, 2001 Share Posted May 29, 2001 Rolf - The thing to figure out is 'What is important?' If you can't give your family an average of 3-4 hours/day of yourself, there will be unpleasant karma down the line. By unpleasant I mean painful. Do yourself a favor - - set a time window on your work. When the window closes, it closes. Period. Then go play with your kid and help do the dishes. Good luck! - philbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JES Posted May 30, 2001 Share Posted May 30, 2001 Hi All, Just a pitch for not limiting discussion of "family" and personal life outside studio work to those who have kids. I think it's really important, whatever your place in life, to spend time developing meaningful relationships with other human beings and doing good for others. Parenting is one way to do that, but it's not the only way. --JES PS -- As for libertarianism, I think most American libertarians are highly selective in their antigovernment attitudes. Are they really against federal mortgage subsidies so that we can afford to own houses? Federal funding of roads so that we can all be individuals in our cars? How about Greenspan messing with the stock market to try and help keep their stock prices artificially high? Me, I'd rather fight for a world where I could actually trust others to make decisions on my behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncantheriver.com Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 Dude, it you spent as much time with your wife and kid as you spend on the internet, you would have no problems at home. Turn off the damn computer and go cuddle. If that doesn't work for you, just consider how puny your gear budget will be if you end up paying child support for the next 18 years. Peace, ------------------ Mr.Dunc Mr.Dunc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 Well, welcome to the club, and thanks for telling us how much time we spend on the internet. I don't feel I have to defend myself...but my family gets plenty of my time. So you don't spend much time on the net? How much time in front of the ball game on TV? How much in the garage puttering with your car? Everyone has "time suckers"...and everyone needs a diversion now and again. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted June 2, 2001 Author Share Posted June 2, 2001 ...and this is the most useful diversion I have come across yet..I consider it school... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackpine Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 I'm in the started early club....like a few of you. 3 kids by the time I was 27. Wife and I decided to do without buying a home and living cheaply so she could be an "at home Mom". Just because I had the ability to generate more income than she. Was the best decision we ever made. Now the kids are mostly grown. Oldest daughter in college, middle daughter is a straight A student athelete (was just at the state track meet yesterday) and 15 year old son is as coooool as can be. Have the house, studio, 27 acres of bliss and they love me. God, it just makes me happy. It IS what life is about......without family and friends you have nothing. Your priorities must reflect that. Great thread, BTW, it really does show what a great group of people you all are. www.relayerstudios.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenElevenShadows Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 I wanted to congratulate -- well, quite a lot of people, really -- on a very interesting and thoughtful thread. I didn't really look at this thread much at all because of the word "family" -- not that I dislike families -- but because I'm not married and have no plans to have children. However, I should have realized that despite this, I can really get something out of the posts. And I have. Some of the posts and thoughts behind influencing another generation of people and trying to make the world a better place also pertain to professions such as teachers, which I am, as well as how we impact other people, especially younger people. Also, the idea of true quality time ("quality time" is such an overused term that it's almost been rendered meaningless), and spending it with people that really matter to you (friends, girlfriend, parents, brothers and sisters, etc.) is something that truly matters as well. However one attempt to balance it, I do believe that effort and strong time management are key in doing this successfully. For me, there's no one that I'd rather spend time with more than my girlfriend. I make the time to do so, and it's not pulling teeth, because I lover her and her company and simply being around her. And again, I just wanted to thank people for their thoughtful posts in this thread! ------------------ Ken/Eleven Shadows/d i t h er/nectar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ music*travel photos*tibet*lots of stuff "Sangsara" "Irian Jaya" & d i t h er CDs available! http://www.elevenshadows.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rold Posted June 3, 2001 Author Share Posted June 3, 2001 thank you as well, Ken.. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Peace, Harold meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D. Gauss Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 < beer holds the answer to all of life's questions..... i try not to work, its bad for your health and cuts into your free time. the trick is to raise good, smart kids that can support you! -d. gauss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncantheriver.com Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 I guess talking to internet addicts about the perils of internet addiction is sort of like talking to smokers about the perils of smoking. It may be just a diversion, but when a diversion is ruining your family life you've got a problem. No one wants to admit they have a problem. But you asked for advice, so there you go. What do I do in my spare time? Work in my studio. Read trade mags. Write letters to the editor of the local paper. (I can't believe what idiots they are!) Watch Sheena. Time to waist is the greatest luxury of all. If you don't have it, don't pretend you do and then blame the consequences on your wife. On the 'school' issue, the great thing about smoking pot (and the reason I quit) is that it makes every little thing you're doing seem really important. But how important is it to know exactly what mics to buy, or what format to use? Whatever you get will be obsolete by next week anyway, and it'll still sound a hell of a lot better than the equipment the Beatles used to change music forever. I'll tell you what's really important: making life beautiful. Write your wife a new song. Stay straight for a week and then look into your babie's eyes. If you can't do that, get high and try to figure out what your kid is trying to say, and then become one with the soap suds and do the dishes. Go for a walk with your new family. Watch the sunset together. Hold hands. Rent a chick flick and sit on the couch with your lover. You can make it work. It's just a matter of waisting your time wisely. Peace and soap suds, ------------------ Mr.Dunc Mr.Dunc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alphajerk Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 actually pot was one of the ingredients of the beatles. they certainly got a LOT better when they really started using drugs. fuck that early teeniebopper crap. im certainly not a beatles fanatic but their later albums had some great stuff. as for the internet [this forum is the ONLY place i visit on it aside from the regular updates and drivers], i have learned thousands if not millions times more from people here and their sharing of ideas than i learned in my whole life sans-net. if i ever won some sonic award, i would have to thank many of the names here. if im addicted to anything, im addicted to learning. and sobriety is a drug in itself. and everything you do IS important, otherwise why do it at all? although i cant say i ever got that feeling from pot... alphajerk FATcompilation "if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncantheriver.com Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 You never lit one up, sat down at your instrument, played a chord, said 'this is it!' rolled tape, and then came back the next day before you got high and listened back to your masterpiece, only to realize that it was crap? I'm impressed. You're definitly better than I am. Screwing up a performance because you're high is one thing, screwing up your life, and other people's lives in the process is something else. Sobriety, addiction, they all have their ups and their downs. When you lose objectivity, you might write 'Fool on the Hill' or you might wake up divorced. The stakes are high when a family is involved. I wish you luck and prosperity, and soap suds. ------------------ Mr.Dunc Mr.Dunc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alphajerk Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 that happens reqardless of your state of mind, sometimes things work, sometimes they dont... not evey painting an aritsts paints is a masterpiece. alphajerk FATcompilation "if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 Dunk-in-the-river wrote... >>>It may be just a diversion, but when a diversion is ruining your family life you've got a problem. No one wants to admit they have a problem. But you asked for advice, so there you go. What makes you think that it's ruining my family life? You've got all of us on the edge of divorce or beyond because we come to the forum occasionally. You've got us all pegged as addicts, and yet you admit you spend time on other pursuits, which may or may not be just as addicting (reading trade magazines). And you're on here, too. What are you doing here, preaching to us lost souls? I happen to think that I've got a pretty good family life, thank you. And no, I don't smoke pot...not since I was a teenager, anyway, and yes, I inhaled when I was a teenager...but I'm not running for public office...if it's any of anyone's business. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted June 3, 2001 Share Posted June 3, 2001 But, to give credit where credit is due... Dunc said... >>>I'll tell you what's really important: making life beautiful. Write your wife a new song. Stay straight for a week and then look into your babie's eyes. If you can't do that, get high and try to figure out what your kid is trying to say, and then become one with the soap suds and do the dishes. Go for a walk with your new family. Watch the sunset together. Hold hands. Rent a chick flick and sit on the couch with your lover. You can make it work. It's just a matter of waisting your time wisely. Yep, you're right on with that. That is what's important. Earlier I mentioned what is important to me is having my family there when I really need them...and that isn't something that comes without the investment of being there for them when they really need you. But, please, a little less bitterness and finger-pointing. I gather from your posts that you've had a pretty upsetting family related experience and are seriously trying to warn us from making the same mistake you did. That's valid, and valuable...but...just because we sit down at a computer doesn't mean we're ignoring our families 24-7 to do so. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncantheriver.com Posted June 4, 2001 Share Posted June 4, 2001 Sorry to be stepping on toes here. I got the impression from Rold's description of his situation that the cause of his lack of family time was too much 'internet research'. So it seems to me that the solution would be less internet research. That's where 'objectivity' comes in. (There is no 'objectivity' when you're high.) What good is more and more information about your craft when your life is falling apart as a result of gathering this information? Obviously I'm missing something here. I guess we must not speak our minds on these message boards but rather speak what the rest of the community wants to hear? Perhaps the topic of this thread should have been 'How to balance work and family without making any concessions to work.' Then my comments would have been irrelevent, and I would have kept my mouth shut. I really should just stick to music. And thanks for the 'dunk in the river'. Made me smile. And that's really what it's all about. Peace, Love & Understanding, and a dunk in the river. ------------------ Mr.Dunc Mr.Dunc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.