WHY? do you gain weight after marriage?

[not Cereal]

ok, so i got the ball n chain april 2nd. we got married a lot later in life than many (ok, all) of our married friends so we both had time to get a little set-in-our-ways and have had some issues relating to that. (years and years of independant time, alone time, eat-cook what ya want, when ya want, etc and now thats all different). we're working on it, its not a crisis or anything - more of an adjustment.

 

but i digress.....

 

i weighed 176 before i got married. i weighed 176 for years and years and years. this is ABOVE my target weight, about 155. i am not fat, but i am getting a bit of a gut.

 

thing is, after i got married a ballooned up to 207. thats a lot, no?

 

i managed to get it down to 194 and thats what i weighed today, 194.

 

thing is, we eat well. MUCH BETTER than what we ate before marriage. and less, too. more veggies, less meat, i drink less beer, eat NO potato chips (i do eat corn chips), and dont drink much soda at all.

 

i dont get it.

 

how can eatting less, and healthier food, drinking less beer/soda make a man get fatter?

 

i've gotten quite a bit skinnier than 207 (clothes wouldnt fit anymore - now they fit fine) but only lost 13 pounds.

 

wife says its muscle, but i doubt it.

 

if you remember from my past posts my health is in poor shape and i am no longer very strong. i lost nearly all my muscle mass over the past 18 months. i used to toss around pa gear easily and now need another person to help carry an 8 space FOH rack. its getting better, as i have been hauling pa stuff around a lot more again (with help) and loading/unloading trucks with more frequency, but recently hauling in an sq2 from my car to my apartment was all i could muster and i had to rest for a while before i could do anything else.

 

it IS getting better, but i guess muscles are easier to lose than gain.

 

why did i gain all this weight after marriage?

 

am i doomed to be a big fat fatty?

 

(oh, and i doubt its because i quit smoking 17 months ago - i eat less and dont snack much at all if ever - but i used to all the time when i smoked!)

[Lee Flier]

Well I don't know how old you are coaster, but oftentimes people just hit a certain age (usually 30-35) and start gaining weight. Changing metabolism and all that. I doubt if it was just getting married.

 

You probably should start some kind of exercise program, one that is low impact and not too strenuous to begin with, but cardio will help strengthen your lungs as well as help with the weight. It is true though that you can look pretty skinny and still weigh a lot, if you have a lot of muscle mass. I'd pay more attention to your appearance and waistline than the scales.

[Super 8]

Man 1: I just lost 180 pounds of ugly flab!

 

Man 2: How?

 

Man 1: I divorced her!

 

Thank you, thank you! I'm here till thursday!

http://www.yukyuks.com/jokeday/comic.jpg

[not Cereal]

i just turned 32 in may, so maybe my metabolism is changing? could very well be.

 

i see quite a number of folks my age gaining the "budweiser tumor" while leading fairly healthy lifestyles. odd?

 

i know better now hw to deal with asthma, like when to avoid triggers and mst important - to call the doc before it gets out of control. but i'm no expert and still slipup, like in march (3 days in hospital) and may 8th (er visit, 5am)

 

after years of lifting/labor i got pretty strong. i could pretty much lift whatever i wanted within reason. i hope to gain this back but its going slower than i would like. i just get too tired.

 

exercise might not be a bad idea at all.

[steadyb]

I weighed 155-160 forever. 5'10".

 

Around the time I got married, I was around 165-170.

 

By the end of the first year... 190. (my heaviest weight).

 

Got back to getting serious about diet and exercise... back down to 165. (stayed there for a long time).

 

Injured my neck, wasn't able to exercise as much... back to 170-175. (currently 170)

 

There's no magic formula or secret diet. Eat healthy. Don't overeat (calories do matter). E X E R C I S E.

 

It'll keep your weight down, reduce your chance of injury, and keep your enery level up.

[steadyb]

Originally posted by not Cereal:

exercise might not be a bad idea at all.

Regular exercise buys you a lot of diet "get out of jail free" cards. More than any other single thing. (Within reason. )

[Lee Flier]

Originally posted by not Cereal:

i just turned 32 in may, so maybe my metabolism is changing? could very well be.

 

i see quite a number of folks my age gaining the "budweiser tumor" while leading fairly healthy lifestyles. odd?

No, not odd at all. That's exactly the age when most people start changing. I weighed 95 pounds from the time I was about 13 till I was 31. Didn't matter if I overate, exercised, didn't exercise, whatever. I would never gain weight. Then suddenly I started to. Now I have to put in effort (through diet and exercise) to keep it off, and I'll never be back to 95! Which is OK, but still... it catches you by surprise.

[Tedster]

I started gaining weight when I was...uhh...born.

[the stranger]

Originally posted by Tedster:

I started gaining weight when I was...uhh...born.

[Geoff Grace]

Here's an understanding I gained from watching Covert Bailey on PBS back in the 1990s. (PBS, what a great network !)

 

We first start gaining fat in a hidden manner, as our muscles gradually become marbled with fat (like steak does). Outwardly, we appear the same, and we don't even gain weight because at first muscle tissue is merely being replaced by fat tissue during this phase. As the marbling process completes and fat gain continues, we finally start producing fat outside of the muscle areas and begin gaining weight, consequently looking bigger. As we first observe the change, we may ask ourselves what we've been doing differently recently to cause this to happen, unaware that the fat gain actually started happening months or even years earlier (depending upon the rate of fat increase and previous fitness level).

 

Dave, according to Covert Bailey's principle, you probably started gaining fat when you got ill; but you had previously been in such good shape that it took a long time for your muscle tissue to deteriorate and become marbled with fat. If so, this has little or nothing to do with marriage and more to do with fitness.

 

The thing to keep in mind is, as you reverse the fat gain process by exercising, muscle tissue will use the neighboring, marbled fat as its first source of fuel. Once muscle tissue has replaced the marbled fat tissue, it will finally start burning off the excess fat that lies outside of the muscle - in other words, the fat that you can see. At that point, total weight loss accelerates. This is part of the reason why people get frustrated with the slow early results of a fitness plan: the first change is invisible and thus appears as no change at all. The weight gained by muscle growth at first offsets the weight lost from burning fat; but rest assured, fat is being burned, even if the scale doesn't at first reflect that fact.

 

If you want to learn more about this, click on the link below:

 

The Ultimate Fit or Fat by Covert Bailey

 

Best,

 

Geoff

[Brittanylips]

While obviously there's a strong physiological side to this, as has been pointed out, there's also an interconnected social side:

 

Like colorful male birds, male humans want to look sexually attractive to entice a mate. Once the mate is signed sealed and delivered, the pressure's off to maintain the beef, and many guys are happy to pork up.

 

-Peace, Love, and Blips

[Mudcat]

You think the weight gain is bad after getting married, watch what happens when/if you have any kids.

[Wooden]

I know a funny joke a bout that.

 

When the single man arrives home, he goes to the refrigerator and says "The same as always" and he goes to the bedroom.

 

When the married man arrives home, he goes to the bedroom and says "The same as always" and he goes to the refrigerator.

 

[Lee Knight]

In a weird way, the weight gain after marriage is a good thing. It shows you've made a subconscious decision to "stay put".

 

You are no longer trying to project a strong/sexy/competent provider vibe to the outside world. All that matters is the inside world. You and her.

 

At least that what I've been telling my wife, but she's not buying it. She says, "Do the words false advertising mean anything to you?"

[D. Gauss]

i've found that a healthy intake of crack will keep your weight and your bank account quite low....

 

-d. gauss

[Calfee Jones]

You aren't spending all those calories out chasing women anymore, she's always on call now...

[phaeton]

They say that you don't burn any more calories having sex than you do playing a round of golf.

 

If that's the case, they're probably just not kinky enough.

[MikeT156]

What Geoff said makes the most sense. He has some facts to back it up. In speaking to my doctor, he also added the "gene pool" we inherit to the formula. We will look like our parents did at age fifty when we hit age fifty. The ONLY thing you can do is stay on a regular exercise program, and eat smart. Drink LOTS of "clean" water, especially before you eat. Water stretches your stomach and you eat less.

 

I had surgery on my foot last year. An implant that I had to have done. Well, I laid around for about 6 months while this healed, gained weight, and lost muscle because I didn't exercise. Now, I've seen better jello in a bowl. God.

 

I USE to hike quite a bit, as well as go camping, which burns calories (chopping wood, loading-unloading and set up tent and other gear). After the surgery I haven't been able to do either. Foot is better, but not really what I consider "normal". Recently, I started hitting the exercise bike (which bores me to death) to try to regain some muscles in my legs. It will be a long road back, and at my age (57) I know that I won't ever look or feel like age 25 anymore. But sitting around and not doing anything about it only makes things worse.

 

Regular exercise and eating smart are the best things you can do. Oh, stay AWAY from diet pills.

 

 

Mike T.

[phaeton]

Recently, I started hitting the exercise bike (which bores me to death)

 

How about a real bike?

[Ernest Buckley]

Before I got married I was about 240, lost 38 lbs. and when I met my wife I was 202. I`m 6`3" so even when I was 220 when we got married I didn`t really look "fat". Even now I can hide my weight and I weight 256!!! Thats 36 lbs. in 6 years.

 

I know...its not healthy. I also used to very athletic and on the go which is the extreme of what I am now. With my career I`m usually sitting in a studio or at my desk so...there goes the movement.

 

I recently joined the YMCA and went at it too hard, now I`m dealing with a knee injury.

 

Anyway, with all this said, I don`t think marriage had anything to do with getting out of shape. My career choice has put me in a very stable place which is not good health wise so.

 

Right now my plan is to get my knee back to health and lose about 35-40 lbs which is a lot but I can do it. When I get focused, anything is possible.

 

Join the gym or start moving more.

 

Peace,

Ernest

[MikeT156]

phaeton:

 

Yeah, I hope I can work myself back up into using a real bike again. You have no idea how weak you become if you lay around for 6 months. Where I live, there are only TWO directions, up or down. I couldn't try a real bike right now. You got to crawl before you walk.

 

 

Mike T.

[Ernest Buckley]

Mike-

 

I feel your pain and weight even though I don`t know your numbers. Thats not important. What is is the fact that being overweight leads to many other significantly dangerous complications like diabetes and heart disease so with that in mind I have inspired myself to join the gym. When I get there then I remember my 3 year old son and how much I want to be there for him when he gets older and I want to be able to play ball with him.

 

Last night my knee was acting up so much that I couldn`t play with him. Thats incentive enough to get my ass in gear, loss the weight and get healthy again.

 

I know we all naturally put on weight as we age however I know we all naturally tend to ease up on the working out too so with that in mind, I`ll increase my workouts (cardio especially) and watch the diet.

 

Much Success,

Ernest

[geoffk]

someone call Richard Simmons

[MikeT156]

Ernest:

 

There's nothing like an injury, or in my case, surgery, to throw the wrench in the works. I'm single, and I made a "career" out of being a weekend warrier going hiking and camping in the state forests here in PA. Peace and quiet on a weekend after a long week of high pressure sales work was a great stress reliever. I also use to go on shorter hikes after work to keep in better condition for longer hikes with a pack on weekends. All that ended abruptly, and I've gotten too big for my size. I know its not healthy. The only thing I've been managing is some exercise bike and lifting some weights. That helps, but if I could put in the 20 to 25 miles a week of hiking like I use too, I'd get rid of the lard a lot faster.

 

You have a lot to live for. Its great that you're aware that its not a "given" that you'll be around for your family if you don't take care of yourself.

 

Mike T.

[D. Gauss]

Originally posted by MikeT156:

Recently, I started hitting the exercise bike (which bores me to death)

forget boring, that's gotta hurt your weiner! jessica simpson? i'd hit it. an excercise bike? now that's just plain weird....

 

-d. gauss

[Ernest Buckley]

Mike-

The most important thing is getting your injury back to health, then you can move on. The hiking sounds like a good idea. Grab your iPod and go.

 

Peace,

Ernest

[KenElevenShadows]

Or go hiking without an iPod. It sounds wonderful!!!

[tld]

Lee's 100% right...if you excercise very regularly, it's a mistake to pay too much attention to the scale. Muscle weighs a lot. Go by how you look, how you fit into cloths etc.

 

For cardio, I love my Concept II indoor rower...very low impact compared to running:

 

http://www.concept2.com/

 

...though they're not cheap. My wife and I both use it a lot. I guess it'd bore some people to death. I like the fact that I can do it year round. In the 12 years I've owned mine, I've put over 3 1/2 million meters on it.

 

I started working out at about age 39 when I started seeing myself take on a Grinch-like shape . These days I row for 1/2 hour three days a week, and lift weights two days a week. At 52 I have my body fat down just over 10%. It's a lot of work, and sometimes I just simply dread it, but it's sooo worth it. I didn't feel this good in my 20s...seriously. Oh...and back to my original comment...I actually weigh more now than I did at 39, but I lost fat and gained muscle, so my fitness and appearance compared to then are night and day.

 

Tom

[MikeT156]

Quote by Ken:

-------------------------------------

Or go hiking without an iPod. It sounds wonderful!!!

-------------------------------------

You bet it is. I really miss that. I have a great hiking stick. The iPod example is more like "Walking with your iPOD". I think that's for "city" people. I LOVE getting out in the State Forest and hiking trails that have various types of terrain, (up/down) rocky trails, etc. It's a lot more strenuous than walking down a sidewalk with your iPod. I'm hoping by this fall the foot will be well enough to start doing some shorter hikes in the woods. I hate looking and feeling like jello.

 

Mike T.

[js]

Coaster, you may have revealed the reason in your original post..."(before marriage) eat-cook what ya want, when ya want, etc and now thats all different".

 

That's what happened to me. I ate only when I was hungry before I was married. Skipped meals all the time. This changed to making a point of sitting down together for regular meals. I had a hard time doing that at first, since I wasn't hungry at meal time. But, that changed with practice.

 

And as was pointed out by another poster, wait until kids.

 

I've finally managed to get back to the same weight that I was when I got married 20 years ago. Yup, exercise was the key. 40 min of cardio every day. And recognizing the habits that added empty calories (late night snacking was my particular weakness). And changing my beverage of choice to water.

 

js