Super 8 Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I don't think there is anything here that massive drugs and some lingerie models can't fix. I suggest a few nights out on the town. Seriously though dude, you are in a situation which you have a great deal of control over. If you want life to be different, then live life differently. I know first hand VERY WELL just how debilitating depression can be. I spent years being depressed. I'm no longer depressed, but I am still working on the issues which made me that way in the first place. I know what it's like to feel alone, and to feel unfulfilled. There is no magic cure, and even if there was one, it most certainly would require initiative on YOUR PART to make it happen. If you have no friends, find some. Join a social group of some kind. We are all alone. We're a freak'n ocean of islands! The average 40 year old male has 1.7 friends....that's all. And it takes more effort to have friends now than it did in High School -when everything was about socializing. It's different when you get older. You have to reach out Wanna meet women? Same thing. Go where the women are. Join a singles group or something. Meet people on the Internet...lot's of people are dating online these days. If I wasn't married, I'd be all over that. Definitely start an exercize program. I did this, myself, and it has been great. I love it because I know that there is at least ONE THING in my life that I am working toward and seeing pleasing results from doing. Take that experience and apply it to other aspects of your life. For example; take a class at a community college. Work toward something. Progress! There has been a lot of good advice here already...you probably don't need anymore. Just take one thing and do it. If you can't take a big leap....take a small one. If you can't take a small one, take a REALLY small one. Once you've taken that step, take another one. Anything that starts moving you in the direction that you want to go -no matter how small it seems- is a major step toward a better life for you. We're all your friends here, so keep us posted. And DON'T FEEL ALONE! Many of us -including me- can relate very well to where you're at. Take care. Super 8 Hear my stuff here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 There's a Chinese saying that's so often repeated that it's almost a cliché. I remember seeing on an album cover many, many, many years ago. But you know what? It's one of the greatest pieces of wisdom that I've ever been exposed to. It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. One candle, dude. One step up. One small thing. One tiny step into a vast journey. It all starts with that first, positive, life affirming step. Maybe it doesn't even have to be something that you do for YOURSELF. Are there any old or disabled people in your neighborhood? How about dropping by with a bouquet of flowers or a small bag of groceries, or maybe offering to cut their grass this week. Think about being OLD and depressed, not just depressed. At 33, YOU have your whole life ahead of you. An old person has lost their mobility, maybe their senses, maybe the ability to think or remember clearly. Maybe they've lost their spouse. They've certainly lost many of their friends. And they're not getting and YOUNGER or STRONGER. And nobody wants anything to DO with them. They're a burden, castoffs. How wonderful it would feel to have someone stop by and do them a favor simply as a nice gesture. Don't know any old folks? How about a colleague or a friend who has kids. Buy each of the kids a little present, like a Frisbee or a Nerf ball of something and stop by their house of their place of business and say, "Hey, I was at the store, and I thought that your kids might enjoy these toys." That's it. Of course, they'll be incredulous, and they won't want to accept the gift at first, but they'll be very moved, and so will the kids. You can only get so far when you try to elevate your OWN mood, but when you elevate the mood of others, there's a chain reaction that's much bigger than the sum of the parts. It's like nuclear energy, just not as hazardous. This is one reason why we love to be on stage at a rocking gig. WE are making OTHERS feel good, and as a result, WE feel AMAZINGLY good. Good feelings are contageous, and they spread like a virus. Go out and DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. This, plus exercise, are the two BEST BEST BEST cures for depression. The drug companies don't want you to know this. The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Studio Pet-Rock Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 I'm still here - alive &...well, you know. All valid advice. I really am going to try some of it. I think I pretty much have to at this point. ...except for what Arell said. Arell, man, you kinda freak me out. I know that's your thing & all, but....damn. I was talking to a few people at work tonight & it just came to me that I need to get the hell out of there. It's all fine & good te be a janitor your whole life, if it makes you happy. It doesn't make me happy. Here's some irony for you all; I work at a psych hospital. Addictions and depression are our specialties. Maybe that's part of the problem. I see all this misery on a daily basis. Some of them are just kind of coasting through it. Others struggle, but try anyway. It's heartbreaking, because a lot of them get released, just to end up coming back in a few months. It's not my job to feel sorry for them, but I can't help it. All the lonely people, where do they all belong? (one of your greatest lines, Sir Paul). I need to start considering what I want to be when I grow up. I want to own a house. Nothing flashy, mind you; just a small, 1 bedroom. Someplace where I could record any time I wanted to. 1998 was good because I only had to work 2 days per week (delivery of bulk products to area merchants). Good money! I lived in a place where I could play/record anytime I wanted - and I had all that free time! 1999, I move to Fargo & it that was the end of that. I'm thinking about graphic arts. I can sit here at my computer all night & cut/paste, restore trashed photos & do all sorts of peculiar alterations. I am going to look into this. It's been a crap year all the way around. I was on painkillers/antibiotics for the majority of it. It gave me a nice scape-goat. Now that the homicidal teeth have been removed, no more scape-goat. I am rational. I know i've got a few screws loose. Who knows how many opportunities I've missed today? I'm blind to it all & that's what I need to work on. You can't win the lotto if you don't buy a ticket. First and foremost, I need to clean this filthy apartment. Cleaning up what's outside might help with what's inside. peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Wow! You work in a psych hospital all day, and then you come HERE are night? No wonder you're depressed! Just kidding! Good luck. You'll make progress. Promise!!! The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sign Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 You have a lot of friends here, this community keeps amazing me. Lots of good advice too, I don't have much to add. You're in the early summer of your life, don't you forget that, your body is at it's maximum of power and capability, it seems your mind has some problems, I've been there too, many of us have. You have to go through this valley, you can't go around it, but you will reach that top again if you keep climbing and you'll come out as a stronger and richer human being. If you can't do it all alone, ask for help, here or elsewhere, but don't hesitate. Life is a precious gift. Best to you, Han The alchemy of the masters moving molecules of air, we capture by moving particles of iron, so that the poetry of the ancients will echo into the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Seriously, it made me feel good to hear you scoff at Arell's advice (meant as a joke, no doubt) but...you can never tell how close someone really IS to that...and we'd sure hate to find out later that you were closer than we thought. I've felt like that on occasion, but it's usually not too hard for me to give those thoughts the heave ho. There is no situation in this world worth that. But yeah. So, you're the cleanup guy. I used to do that, too. Then I thought I might try some classes (a good place to meet women, BTW). If you were to, say, take a couple night classes at say, the local community college, you'd be: 1) Meeting a lot of people your age. Male and female (but if you want to meet women, don't take a lot of science classes). 2) Improving your lot. 3) Building self-confidence and esteem. So, kickass! "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedly Nightshade Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Well man if you work in a psych hospital I suppose you don't need any warnings about the weird-ass mindfuck drugs they dish out these days. That can play on a person's soul. I did similar work and managed some good around the edges but you might reconsider that. As far as I can tell, you're free. I don't see much holding you there. I propose an alternative to suicide. That's what my life is now- something I do instead of killing myself. So you have to figure out what you would really like to do and where you would really like to go, and fuck it's worth a try. Hope this doesn't come off as pat- I know too well that kind of pain and alienation. For me I found a lot of solace in the wild that hasn't been completely fucked up by people yet. It's hard to watch it get fucked up year by year though... still, it's great to know that this world is about a whole hell of a lot more than human idiocy and callousness. Not trying to make light of your troubles. A WOP BOP A LU BOP, A LOP BAM BOOM! "There is nothing I regret so much as my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?" -Henry David Thoreau Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundthinker Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Pet-Rock- Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock: I'm thinking about graphic arts. I can sit here at my computer all night & cut/paste, restore trashed photos & do all sorts of peculiar alterations. I am going to look into this. If you're depressed, I would recommend against this. The last thing you need is to be spending more time in your apartment. Get up, get outside while its still relativly nice. Even when winter hits, its still possible to get outside and have fun. The proactive approach to dealing with the wonderful winter weather there is the same mentality you need to approach life in general with. I grew up in Fargo, and that taught me how to deal with depression later in life -aggressivly. Also, if you wait to feel better before getting out there and 'living' life, you'll fail. You need to force yourself into 'doing' better (going to museums, shows, working out etc) before you will start to 'feel' better. And cheesy as it may sound, only after you are 'doing' better and 'feeling' better will you 'be' better. I've been seriously depressed before, and (again very cheesy sounding) healing begins from within. Make an active decision to get happy. Good luck. /jim "...it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lacking patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It is the same in any country." -Hermann Goering, second in command of the Third Reich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKA Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hey Pet Rock, no matter what people tell you, dont take Prozac and the like for your depression. A close family member of mine in 1990 committed suicide after taking Prozac. Back then, we didnt know what we know today of the possible "side affects". For some people, Prozac does seem to help them. And by help, I mean they have to take Prozac for the rest of the lives. For other people, Prozac pushes them to kill themselves or their family members. The drug companies are very powerful $$$, so there isnt must bad press about this, so at the very least, do a search on Prozac and Paxil before you do. ----------------------------------------------- Definitely , clean your house and pick up a book about Feng Shui to help your wealth and relationships. http://www.lillian-too.com/ Read Think and Grow Rich and other positive books. American society is very ruthless with the poor. It's so hip and cool for the comedian, TV sitcom or movie to mock the financially unsuccessful as a LOSER. Many financially successful people are the real LOSERS who have sold out their humanity in different ways. And Guess what, society is the one that is fucked up because it values materialism above so many other things. The peer pressure for you to constantly compare yourself to the Jones is just what Madison Avenue wants. To make you feel like if I just had this or that I would be X. Go ahead, charge it, charge it!!! We are bombarded with this crap and a stream of never ending sarcasm and negativity on TV, so turn it off read positive things. http://www.huna.org/html/aspirit.html If you can, try to change your job, as that environment is not helpful to your present mental state. You obviously have a passion for music, put some headphones on, and let the music change your state. Dont mentally torture yourself. Dont ignore your problems, address them with a possible solution and then LET IT GO. If the solution to your problem is beyond your current means, give yourself permission to LET IT GO. You are more important than any problem you can have. Avoid black and white thinking. http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Understanding_Depression/all_nothing.htm Peace be with you Rock. AKA http://www.musicplayer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=24;t=002419 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stranger Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 http://www.raintosun.com/what_is_the_true_nature.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barandine Vondenger Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock: I'm still here - alive &...well, you know. All valid advice. I really am going to try some of it. I think I pretty much have to at this point. ...except for what Arell said. Arell, man, you kinda freak me out. I know that's your thing & all, but....damn. You can't win the lotto if you don't buy a ticket. First and foremost, I need to clean this filthy apartment. Cleaning up what's outside might help with what's inside. peace[/QB]The Doctor has lef' the building. The Doctor has lef' the buildin'.. Frank Ranklin and the Ranktones WARP SPEED ONLY STREAM FRANKIE RANKLIN (Stanky Franks) <<< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by Ani: 33 in not old at all... unless you're a woman You just couldn't resist making with the bitterness, could you, Ani?? For your information, there are some of us older guys who would like to meet a woman our age... It's hard, though... many older women have been through some pain... Like Sinbad pointed out in his book Sinbad's Funy Funny Funny Funny Funny Guide to Life (Because I Know Everything) , it is sort of off-putting to ask an older woman for her phone number only to have her blaze up at you: "NO!! I DON'T HAVE A NUMBER. A MAN LIKE YOU RAN UP MY PHONE BILL AND I DON'T HAVE A PHONE NOW!!" It just makes you feel like giving up... BTW, Ani, 33, to me, is JAILBAIT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Doe Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Ditn't someone write a song about this once? ========================================= Bruce Springsteen - Dancin' In The Dark ========================================= I get up in the evening And I aint got nothin' to say I come home in the morning I go to bed feelin' the same way I aint nothin' but tired Man, Im just tired and bored with myself Hey there baby, I could use just a little help Chorus: You cant start a fire You cant start a fire without a spark This guns for hire Even if were just dancin' in the dark Message keeps gettin' clearer Radios on and Im movin' round the place I check my look in the mirror I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face Man, I aint gettin' nowhere Im just livin' in a dump like this Theres somethin' happening somewhere Baby I just know that there is Chorus You sit around gettin' older Theres a joke somewhere here and its on me Ill shake this world off my shoulders Come on baby the laughs on me Stay on the streets of this town And theyll be carving you up all right They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby Im just about starvin' tonight Im dying for some action Im sick of sittin' around here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now baby give me just one look You cant start a fire Sittin' round cryin' over a broken heart This guns for hire Even if were just dancin' in the dark You cant start a fire Worryin' about your little world fallin' apart This guns for hire Even if were just dancin' in the dark No signature required. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bbach1 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Ok, all of you wannabee psychiatrists, I have the real answer to anyone's depression problems. Pick up your axe (guitar - not the real axe in the garage). Tune it to open G, up 1/2 Step. Plug it in to whatever amp you have that rocks. Turn it up - way up - broken windows up. Play "Sleepwalk" by Santo and Johnnie over and over. Just let the feelings come out. Sliiiiiide those fingers over the strings oh so nice. In no time at all, you'll forget why you were unhappy. bbach Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Ya know...it just dawned on me, Studio...I don't have many "in the flesh" friends, either. Oh, yeah, I've got family, which is good...but, one needs an outlet besides family sometimes, because they all have their own lives too. But, I have tons of online friends. And I get to meet 'em once in awhile...which is way cool!!! "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by Tedster: Ya know...it just dawned on me, Studio...I don't have many "in the flesh" friends, either. Oh, yeah, I've got family, which is good...but, one needs an outlet besides family sometimes, because they all have their own lives too. But, I have tons of online friends. And I get to meet 'em once in awhile...which is way cool!!! Your little avatar movie makes me laugh every time i see it, Tedster!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblue1 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Though I probably come off as pretty cynical, I have a big soft spot for self-help books. I never buy into any particular one, but I love just scoping across them and cherry-picking advice and techniques. Admittedly, though, it's been a while since I tried to help myself. Long overdue. Probably why my ears perked up when I heard some cat on a local public radio book show flogging his self-help book. Being public radio, I knew it wasn't going to be a get-rich-quick or crypto-religious scam -- or at least an obvious one -- although the guy who wrote the book was a Unitarian minister. As any fan of self-help stuff knows, you always have to be able to give people simple, codified "lessons" that, with a little fieldsetting, can be put over in one line. Books usually have 10 rules, 12 technques, 17 reminders, and so on -- but on the radio you have to get things over fast and simple enough to remember that they'll take something away and be able to find you in the bookstore. So, on the radio, you want to give people 3 Basic Rules. Here's what this guy had: Want what you have. Do what you can do (but don't do less). Be who you are. So I thought to myself, yeah, I can do that. Except maybe for the qualifier on number two, that sounds like a bit of effort. But, of course, what he was getting at was a sort of three part self-help koan. A quasi-paradox (a self-help guru who seems to be saying do what you're already doing) that really resolved more to, stop beating yourself up, be yourself, don't waste time wishing for things that are unlikely or out of your power (lottery, famous girlfriends, boyfriends, hit records [oh wait...], etc), take pleasure in your accomplishments, make the most of your leisure and your work time, work from your strengths and natural inclinations, enjoy today even as you're working for tomorrow. You know, common sense. bookmark these: news.google.com | m-w dictionary | wikipedia encyclopedia | Columbia Encyclopedia TK Major / one blue nine | myspace.com/onebluenine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Programgirl Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Depression has a nasty way of convicing you that you are stuck with it and nothing will ever change. I hope you can find a way around the angst and feel better. By the way Pet Rock, you're a hell of a writer, maybe you can write some of the poison out of your system. I write my best poetry when the demons grab me, and I always feel better after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barandine Vondenger Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Want what you have. Do what you can do (but don't do less). Be who you are. veddy cool woids and thoughts. now iffen we could just get everyone to go by this we'd be set. Frank Ranklin and the Ranktones WARP SPEED ONLY STREAM FRANKIE RANKLIN (Stanky Franks) <<< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Studio Pet-Rock Posted September 1, 2004 Author Share Posted September 1, 2004 Well, my car broke down. Motor mount fell apart. This makes me happy (not being sarcastic). It will probably take the whole of next weekend to replace it. Something to do! Thank you all for the wealth of good...no GREAT advice. There are a lot of suggestions here that I never would have thought of on my own. I have no intention of going on Prozac - or any other drug for that matter. I'm sure it does help some people, but I do see a lot of the side effects of it where I work. ...and I do need to get out & play somewhere. I haven't done that in two years now. I've always gotten good responses when I have played, so I don't know what the hell my problem is. And, yes, maybe I would meet someone. I'm not looking for - nor am I interested in dating a supermodel. Average-looking women have always been my favorite, because #1. I'm pretty average-looking myself and #2. they tend to be capable of playing a productive role in conversations. Big turn-on for me. I can't be bothered with someone who's worrying about her hair all the time. We all wake up ugly. Damn you, success, why do I consistantly force you to elude me?! Gotta quit that. Now's a good time to try... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock: We all wake up ugly. That would be a great album title The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super 8 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Self-help books were mentioned. I'd like to recommend "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Although this book sounds like something you'd use in business -and, indeed it has been used in business-, it is really a book about life-change. It's fantastic -and I'm not much into books. It makes a ton of sense, and really will change your life if you read it and apply it's simple principals. Everybody should read this book. Super 8 Hear my stuff here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Studio Pet-Rock Posted September 1, 2004 Author Share Posted September 1, 2004 Originally posted by Super 8: Self-help books were mentioned. I'd like to recommend "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Although this book sounds like something you'd use in business -and, indeed it has been used in business-, it is really a book about life-change. It's fantastic -and I'm not much into books. It makes a ton of sense, and really will change your life if you read it and apply it's simple principals. Everybody should read this book.I will have to check that one out. All I've been reading lately are Stephen King books. Might do me some good read something that could actually do me some good. 'Course, if there's ever a 'super flu', I'll be preapared for what's to come (I'm reading The Stand now). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle ggurl Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Hi PetRock, I feel for you. I have been in the depths of depression myself, to extents I won't go into here. Let's just say I'm glad (now)my "solutions" were not successful. There is meme (a collective thought) zapping around the ethers these days regarding the "universal abundance." Are you familiar with it? Dr. Dwayne Dyer is on public TV with his video-recording of his seminars about achieving success through thinking success; define success for YOU (not necessarily Madison Ave. version of success). Flipping thru the channels I heard another dude purporting the same thing. Universal abundance: the notion that there is no "lack" in the universe. This may cause logical conflicts regarding, "well what about people in the world who are starving or oppressed? Did they deserve that? Huh?" Although proponents of the abundance theory have answers for that, I'd rather not direct attention away from the application of this concept to the individual -- to you or me -- for sake of this discussion. Universal Abundance (I don't know if that's a formal term, but let's just coin it now for sake of discussion), there is no lack; are only blocks we as individuals put up out of fear ... fear of receiving, fear of letting go of the security of our narrow worlds that are delineated by our self-imposed feelings of unworthiness. These may have come upon us and we may have chosen to define our self image by them because of traumas, externally inflicted, that we experienced but have not resolved. The key is, I think, to know that those are external forces, and that you have an internal force that can redefine your reality. There are many ways to ask of the source; praying to God; planing/visualizing success; meditating that what you want, is; etc. If your intention is noble, you should have no problems asking/receiving. This is pretty frou-frou talk, yeah, I know, but I hope it helps. If you've read this far, all I can say is, thanks for hangin' in there! BTW, I'm a tad older than 33 about now ... I feel younger in lots of ways than I did 10 years ago ... Peace out, gg Original Latin Jazz CD Baby "I am not certain how original my contribution to music is as I am obviously an amateur." Patti Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super 8 Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock: I will have to check that one out. All I've been reading lately are Stephen King books. Might do me some good read something that could actually do me some good. I PROMISE you won't regret it. 'Course, if there's ever a 'super flu', I'll be preapared for what's to come (I'm reading The Stand now).Interesting you should mention. I just picked up the '12 Monkeys' DVD. Cool film! Super 8 Hear my stuff here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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