Odyssian Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Did ya hear about the frog that broke down the other day? He was toad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Groan. That's like another joke...only you've gotta tell it seriously for full impact... Start by saying you were driving down the road following an ambulance, and it hit a bump and the back door flew open and a cooler fell out and bounced on the road. You stopped your car, picked up the cooler (thinking it might be something for an organ transplant) and tried to catch the ambulance, but to no avail. You looked in the cooler, and inside was a severed human toe. Thinking that they might still be able to reattach it, you tried to call the hospital from your cell phone, but they said they couldn't call an ambulance. They recommended that you call a toe truck. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip OKeefe Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 You're both NAUGHTY people, do you know that? Toad Toe Truck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Flier Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 AGGHHH. Actually I heard it like this: Did you hear about the frog who was busted for doing the nasty in his car? He got toad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendmik Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Here, I found an appreciative audience for this kind of humor: http://www.nesforums.com/saget2.jpg Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. Mark Twain (1835-1910) -------------------- Reporter: "Ah, do you think you could destroy the world?" The Tick: "Ehgad I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip OKeefe Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Hendmik, please remember that posting those sorts of offensive pictures around here is grounds for banishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursers Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Originally posted by Hendmik: Here, I found an appreciative audience for this kind of humor: http://www.nesforums.com/saget2.jpgOHHH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!! Another good one that needs to be set up well: Start a conversation with someone saying "I just heard this morning about the Hollywood actress who was stabbed. Umm what was her name again, Reece... Reece..." Other person says "Witherspoon" Then you say: "No it was with a knife" The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowly Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Originally posted by nursers: Originally posted by Hendmik: Here, I found an appreciative audience for this kind of humor: http://www.nesforums.com/saget2.jpgOHHH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!! Another good one that needs to be set up well: Start a conversation with someone saying "I just heard this morning about the Hollywood actress who was stabbed. Umm what was her name again, Reece... Reece..." Other person says "Witherspoon" Then you say: "No it was with a knife"I know this lady thats gonna love that one. Kcbass "Let It Be!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Lozada Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Originally posted by nursers: Another good one that needs to be set up well: Start a conversation with someone saying "I just heard this morning about the Hollywood actress who was stabbed. Umm what was her name again, Reece... Reece..." Other person says "Witherspoon" Then you say: "No it was with a knife"That's a good one (sorry if this offends someone! ) Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus at Fender Musical Instruments Company Instagram: guslozada Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología www.guslozada.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanmass Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Hmmmm.. Remind of another joke... What's the difference between a hitchhiking frog and a hitchhiking trombone player? The frog is trying to catch a ride to a gig. (insert boos) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odyssian Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 Hey Lee, I think your frog joke makes more sense... heheh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boosh Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 One day this Princess was walking through the woods when she met a Frog. She looked at him and said: "Hey Froggie you,...are you that froggie that needs a kiss to turn into a handsome prince?" Frog said : "No,.BIOTCH,...that's my bro,...Me I need a BLOWJOB" Fan, nu pissar jag taggtråd igen. Jag skulle inte satt på räpan. http://www.bushcollectors.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendmik Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Two cars on a narrow mountain road pass each other, a woman in one car yells to the man in the other, "Pig!" The man leans out his window and yells "Bitch!" turns the corner, and runs into a pig. Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. Mark Twain (1835-1910) -------------------- Reporter: "Ah, do you think you could destroy the world?" The Tick: "Ehgad I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guruman Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" --------- -Guruman- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goughy Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 ... and then a bear comes in and says "I'll have a..." ...the bear puts his hands up on the bar and drums his fingers while he thinks for several seconds... "... a whisky!" The bartender asks him "Why the big pause?" "I thought that music mattered." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 You didn't hear this from me, but my girlfriend just turned 45. One of her birthday cards: two women sitting at a table in a corner cafe: One sez, "It's my birthday, oh joy, hubby got me a dozen roses, guess I'll have to have my legs up in the air for the next three days..." Two sez, "Why, don't you have a vase?" Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Originally posted by Botch.: You didn't hear this from me, but my girlfriend just turned 45. One of her birthday cards: two women sitting at a table in a corner cafe: One sez, "It's my birthday, oh joy, hubby got me a dozen roses, guess I'll have to have my legs up in the air for the next three days..." Two sez, "Why, don't you have a vase?"Oh, heavens... Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherri Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 A baby seal walks into a club. www.metalblues.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouizel Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 That's my line!!! **Standard Disclaimer** Ya gotta watch da Ouizel, as he often posts complete and utter BS. In this case however, He just might be right. Eagles may soar, but Ouizels don't get sucked into jet engines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polyt Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Knock Knock, Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting C... MOOOOOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherri Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 If Hooters restaurant made home deliveries, would they change their name to Knockers? www.metalblues.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fantasticsound Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Two peanuts were walking down the street... and one was a salted. A dog walks into a saloon and tells the bartender, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!" Quasimodo goes on vacation. The replacement bell-ringer arrives.. but he has no arms or hands! "How can you ring the bells of Notre Dame?", asks the priest. "With my head", says the man and he accompanies the priest to the bell tower to demonstrate. He runs at the bell, slams his face into it but slides off and trips over the side to his death. The townspeople gather 'round and ask, "Who is this man?" Having forgotten to ask his name, the priest replies, "I don't know... but his face rings a bell." Next day the twin brother of the armless bell-ringer arrives to honor his brother by taking his place. He accompanies the priest to the top of the bell tower and, standing next to the bell, proceeds to slam his face into it, producing a nice ringing tone. But in the process, the dizzy, armless man falls out of the bell tower to his death. The townspeople again gather 'round and ask the priest, "Who is THIS man?", to which the priest responds, "I don't know.. But he's a dead ringer for the guy who died here yesterday!" (Hey! These are the jokes, people! ) It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman Soundclick fntstcsnd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Originally posted by cherri: If Hooters restaurant made home deliveries, would they change their name to Knockers?You have no idea how lame that joke is when it's translated! http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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