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Trying some new things, would appreciate feedback


nkfarwell

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https://clyp.it/3w3os5ru

 

really quick run through my favorite things, I just started on it last night and have been playing around with some different chordal patterns. the first run is nice and dry, nothing special going on and establishing the piece, the second time around is what I'd really appreciate feedback on. criticism appreciated. thank you!

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Took a quick listen - I like the chromatic root movement the second time through, you might explore continuing to inject similar root movement ideas in the next two bars as well.

 

I'd also love to hear you play the entire head rather than the excerpt provided.

 

Perhaps my biggest comment would be to render it with stricter attention to time. It doesn't sound to me like you're trying to go for the truly rubato, free time sensitive exploration thing, and so your harmonic ventures would benefit from more strict attention to an established time - whether swung or straight 8ths or whatever feel you're ultimately going for.

 

Mostly, big ups for posting your playing here for us to listen to. Seriously, I want to give you props for the courage, as this can be a really analytical crowd and the bar is often set so high that...well, let's just say I vowed a while ago I'll never post my own playing up here.

 

So props and keep up the hard work.

 

Tim

..
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Sounds good to me. Nice job!

 

Since I'm not sure what sound you're ultimately striving for it feels inappropriate to comment on aspects of your performance that fall into the realm of artistic preference. Therefore, if there's some aspect of your playing that you feel needs work please share as it would then feel more appropriate to provide feedback.

 

From a technical perspective, I agree with Tim's feedback regarding time. During the second time around I hear some hesitation in your playing that I'm not sure is deliberate. My suggestion is to make time and feel you're number one priority. Try practicing and recording (for self-assessment) with conscious focus on feel. Try copying the groove of a player whose concept of time feels good to you. It's reasonable to expect that after doing this for a while your time / feel / groove during performance (where you're no longer consciously thinking about it) will improve. Hope this helps :)

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Yup. I agree with both of the above. A bit of hesitation as though you're hyper conscious of not making a mistake. I'll bet that goes away when you play it by yourself and the red light isn't on. As Tim said, kudos for having the guts to post your playing up here. It sounds like it will be a nice arrangement once you have it where you want it.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

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My guess is you're going for a lyrical melody line, with interesting (but not distracting) comps in the left hand. If it were me (and it's not) I'd be going for increased expression (dynamics, accidentals, voicing, etc.) in the right hand. Make it sing. The left hand needs to behave -- be smooth, be seductive, but never pop out in front.

 

My two cents.

Life is too short to be playing bad music.

 

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Thanks for the feedback! this is exactly the type of criticism I was hoping for, I'll work on it and try to put out an updated version tonight. would you like me to make a new thread for it or just put it here?

 

Just put it here

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This is all my taste so please don't take it too personal.. :)

 

Better time feel which immediately translates into more cohesion on this track.

 

It wouldn't hurt to slow everything down, tempo wise, just a tad. It might smooth things out a bit ? It has just a smidgeon of sounding rushed.

 

I like the quick descending chords at :48. At around 1:00 before you take the melody up an octave- it seems like not a smooth transition there. You could have maybe sat on one chord - holding for maybe two/four measures- and then continued on. Just holding a chord - the right chord- can impart a sense of space and really open things up. So when you transition to the next section , musically it has more of an impactif that makes any sense.

 

So you're moving along real good up the octave- again I like the quick downward changes - but then you come to those two changes at 1:25/26 - that didn't sound good to me. The harmony sounded unnatural. I would try some different chord options there.

 

Then you go into a vampy thing at 1:29 - that's where your flow sounds the most natural to me very good time feel there. And at 1:45 you start getting just a tad into a different mode which really makes everything more interesting sounding.

 

Things are building well, sounding good but then at 1:53 -- sorry but I don't dig that last chord. And I like out stuff and surprises but for me that last chord doesn't have any harmonic relation to what you were building to on that cool vamp. Basically it sounds un-musical to me.

 

Just got in from a gig and I don't have my piano set up next to computer, and I don't have perfect pitch - but are you in the standard key of E minor ?

Just throwing some stuff out there- if you are in Em, maybe try an F Maj7 +11 for that last chord. Or even some kind of Em voicing that mixes in partials of the Diminished scale. Or the often used Major 7 on the minor ninth chord. Or (again if in Em) an A13 +11 .

 

Voiced : LH-A G RH- C# F# B Eb

 

Again I should be near a piano before giving out specific advice.

 

I like it. Take your time on the vamp and don't be afraid to let everything breath just a bit more. Sounding good overall. :):thu:

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I liked the second take better. It was more interesting harmonically and the feel was improved. Nice job!

 

Still, as Dave mentioned, it sounds a bit rushed. This gives me an unsettled feeling. Try adopting an "I'm in no hurry" attitude -- like good blues players often do -- and I suspect you'll play at a slightly slower tempo and leave more space.

 

Or, if you shooting for a more energetic performance than take it further in that direction so it comes across as confident, deliberate, and exciting.

www.alquinn.com
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