nkfarwell Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 https://clyp.it/3w3os5ru really quick run through my favorite things, I just started on it last night and have been playing around with some different chordal patterns. the first run is nice and dry, nothing special going on and establishing the piece, the second time around is what I'd really appreciate feedback on. criticism appreciated. thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timwat Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Took a quick listen - I like the chromatic root movement the second time through, you might explore continuing to inject similar root movement ideas in the next two bars as well. I'd also love to hear you play the entire head rather than the excerpt provided. Perhaps my biggest comment would be to render it with stricter attention to time. It doesn't sound to me like you're trying to go for the truly rubato, free time sensitive exploration thing, and so your harmonic ventures would benefit from more strict attention to an established time - whether swung or straight 8ths or whatever feel you're ultimately going for. Mostly, big ups for posting your playing here for us to listen to. Seriously, I want to give you props for the courage, as this can be a really analytical crowd and the bar is often set so high that...well, let's just say I vowed a while ago I'll never post my own playing up here. So props and keep up the hard work. Tim .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkfarwell Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 thanks for the feedback! if you all don't mind, I'd love to keep posting work and getting more responses like yours. I will go ahead and take your advice, I'll be back tomorrow with a full recording (probably) (maybe). appreciate the honesty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Quinn Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Sounds good to me. Nice job! Since I'm not sure what sound you're ultimately striving for it feels inappropriate to comment on aspects of your performance that fall into the realm of artistic preference. Therefore, if there's some aspect of your playing that you feel needs work please share as it would then feel more appropriate to provide feedback. From a technical perspective, I agree with Tim's feedback regarding time. During the second time around I hear some hesitation in your playing that I'm not sure is deliberate. My suggestion is to make time and feel you're number one priority. Try practicing and recording (for self-assessment) with conscious focus on feel. Try copying the groove of a player whose concept of time feels good to you. It's reasonable to expect that after doing this for a while your time / feel / groove during performance (where you're no longer consciously thinking about it) will improve. Hope this helps https://alquinn.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threadslayer Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Yup. I agree with both of the above. A bit of hesitation as though you're hyper conscious of not making a mistake. I'll bet that goes away when you play it by yourself and the red light isn't on. As Tim said, kudos for having the guts to post your playing up here. It sounds like it will be a nice arrangement once you have it where you want it. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. -Mark Twain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkfarwell Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 Thanks for the feedback! this is exactly the type of criticism I was hoping for, I'll work on it and try to put out an updated version tonight. would you like me to make a new thread for it or just put it here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cphollis Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 My guess is you're going for a lyrical melody line, with interesting (but not distracting) comps in the left hand. If it were me (and it's not) I'd be going for increased expression (dynamics, accidentals, voicing, etc.) in the right hand. Make it sing. The left hand needs to behave -- be smooth, be seductive, but never pop out in front. My two cents. Want to make your band better? Check out "A Guide To Starting (Or Improving!) Your Own Local Band" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobadohshe Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Thanks for the feedback! this is exactly the type of criticism I was hoping for, I'll work on it and try to put out an updated version tonight. would you like me to make a new thread for it or just put it here? Just put it here Kawai C-60 Grand Piano : Hammond A-100 : Hammond SK2 : Yamaha CP4 : Yamaha Montage 7 : Moog Sub 37 My latest album: Funky organ, huge horn section https://bobbycressey.bandcamp.com/album/cali-native Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkfarwell Posted December 3, 2016 Author Share Posted December 3, 2016 Alright, uploaded a longer, more fleshed out version. I do notice all the glaring time issues but it's that damn red light, I can't seem to do it smoothly with it on and I don't know why. In any case, I'd love some more criticism. https://clyp.it/wjic2che Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Ferris Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 This is all my taste so please don't take it too personal.. Better time feel which immediately translates into more cohesion on this track. It wouldn't hurt to slow everything down, tempo wise, just a tad. It might smooth things out a bit ? It has just a smidgeon of sounding rushed. I like the quick descending chords at :48. At around 1:00 before you take the melody up an octave- it seems like not a smooth transition there. You could have maybe sat on one chord - holding for maybe two/four measures- and then continued on. Just holding a chord - the right chord- can impart a sense of space and really open things up. So when you transition to the next section , musically it has more of an impactif that makes any sense. So you're moving along real good up the octave- again I like the quick downward changes - but then you come to those two changes at 1:25/26 - that didn't sound good to me. The harmony sounded unnatural. I would try some different chord options there. Then you go into a vampy thing at 1:29 - that's where your flow sounds the most natural to me very good time feel there. And at 1:45 you start getting just a tad into a different mode which really makes everything more interesting sounding. Things are building well, sounding good but then at 1:53 -- sorry but I don't dig that last chord. And I like out stuff and surprises but for me that last chord doesn't have any harmonic relation to what you were building to on that cool vamp. Basically it sounds un-musical to me. Just got in from a gig and I don't have my piano set up next to computer, and I don't have perfect pitch - but are you in the standard key of E minor ? Just throwing some stuff out there- if you are in Em, maybe try an F Maj7 +11 for that last chord. Or even some kind of Em voicing that mixes in partials of the Diminished scale. Or the often used Major 7 on the minor ninth chord. Or (again if in Em) an A13 +11 . Voiced : LH-A G RH- C# F# B Eb Again I should be near a piano before giving out specific advice. I like it. Take your time on the vamp and don't be afraid to let everything breath just a bit more. Sounding good overall. https://soundcloud.com/dave-ferris https://www.youtube.com/@daveferris2709 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Quinn Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I liked the second take better. It was more interesting harmonically and the feel was improved. Nice job! Still, as Dave mentioned, it sounds a bit rushed. This gives me an unsettled feeling. Try adopting an "I'm in no hurry" attitude -- like good blues players often do -- and I suspect you'll play at a slightly slower tempo and leave more space. Or, if you shooting for a more energetic performance than take it further in that direction so it comes across as confident, deliberate, and exciting. https://alquinn.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkfarwell Posted December 3, 2016 Author Share Posted December 3, 2016 Alright, thanks guys! I'll take your advice and try to change things some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.