Blues Disciple Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Hey gang, I am considering going back to play with three guys from a previous band. We were all good friends in a band that imploded almost 2 years ago. We all split without the screaming and yelling---just pulled our stuff out and we were done---all over one of guys tendency to look for players to replace guys in the band without them knowing or informing the rest of us. Well the guy who was the spearhead for the last band to break up has asked me to come and join his new band. The bass player and drummer from the previous band may be coming back too. I am just a bit skeptical about getting involved again. I was wondering if re-joining up with previous members from a previous band ever works or is it just the same old, same old one more time. Anybody have any experiences like that? BD "With the help of God and true friends I've come to realize, I still have two strong legs and even wings to fly" Gregg Allman from "Ain't Wastin Time No More" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawback Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Hell Freezes Over. ____________________________________ Rod Here for the gear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Nightime Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Is the jerk that was trying to replace you guys without telling you still there? If not, it might be OK, especially since you parted friends. But if the jackass is among them, it'll happen again. "In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome. So God helped him and created woman. Now everybody's got the blues." Willie Dixon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITGITC Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Can you get together for an informal jam just to see how it sounds? I'd try a few gigs with them. If those work out, then you might want to continue. Or you might not. "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate stubb Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Once a traitorous backstabbing denebian slime devil, always a traitorous backstabbing denebian slime devil. If you exclude him from the new mix, no reason not to do it. That's what is great about second times around - you have already worked with people, know what to expect, and can exclude the cancer. Moe --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonglow Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Once a traitorous backstabbing denebian slime devil, always a traitorous backstabbing denebian slime devil..... I certainly acknowledge capacity for change, but personality is a very static human attribute..... "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Hmmm... have to kind of put things into perspective first.... Was he right to want to replace said member but just handled it inappropriately? What was the level of experience/maturity in the previous situation compared to now? i.e. were you teenagers at the time and in your twenties now, or 40 vs 42 (not any difference). People can make mistakes in handling situations that are not ideal - like having somebody in the band that is a friend, but no good, that they want to replace for the good of the band, but don't really want to face them. That's not an excuse and is disrespectful to handle it that way, but may at least be explainable. You have to kind of evaluate the situation then compared to now. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonysounds Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Two years is not a lot of time for change, unless something catastrophic or traumatic in terms of development occurred. And there's the old saying: Familiarity breeds contempt. And Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice.... But I do tend to live by the "Nothing hurts but a try". Hitting "Play" does NOT constitute live performance. -Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerber3 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 You should join, but secretly start looking for a new guitarist. j/k I assume the guy knows why the old band imploded... if the musical chemistry is good & you're open about the old issues, it might be fun. btw, who was he trying to replace? You, the drummer, the bass player, or your girlfriend who kinda plays tamborine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wmp Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 You should join, but secretly start looking for a new guitarist. j/k I played with a band that did something like that once. After one gig we fired the band leader who introduced us. We didn't replace her, we just got rid of her. BD, it sounds like the guy you're talking about is the band leader, and you weren't happy with how he handled personnel decisions in the past. Mixing this up with friendship and a nebulous open ended commitment can get complicated. I like to keep my commitments well defined, short term, and strictly business. I like bands led by a benevolent dictator. Those run by committee often seem to have more issues. I have no problem with most of the folks I've played with. Some were less than pleased when I left, but I've always kept my commitments. Can't say the same for everybody who's fired me, but for the most part, I don't have a problem with that either. Depends on how it was handled. Business is business. I play with plenty of folks I used to play with. I play with some folks who have fired me. Occasionally, I even play with manipulative sleazebags who would screw their own mama. I just don't allow them to run their game on me. I limit my exposure by staying focused on what's important. Where's the gig and how much? If you're skeptical about dealing with this guy, you probably have good reason. Limit your exposure or just walk away. No reason why you can't take your old rhythm section and find a more suitable band leader. Doing the same stuff the same way with the same people will probably get you the same results. --wmp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blues Disciple Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 First let me answer the questions: Yes the guy who placed the ads behind peoples back is still there--in fact he is the guy who asked me come to play and is the guy forming this band...though not the overt or musical leader of the band, he will obviously have his pull on other matters. We didn't think he really had due cause to try and replace the other guys. The one that broke the band was when he placed ads to replace a new guitarist who he had a heated discussion over the particulars of guitar playing. He would place ads when a guy would miss a practice or two. Sometimes it would be just because one of the guys was thinking about playing with another band and so on. I thought it was all wrong and unfounded no matter what. We are all in our forties and fifties, so we ain't no teeny boppers. Grown men at least with regard to chronological age. Now the update: I went last Friday night and sat in on their practice. We ran through about 11 songs. About seven of them were songs the previous band had played and they currently plan to play. The other four were songs I had never played. The practice went well and I had a good time. Plan to jam again with them in two weeks. I am still skeptical though and hesitant to commit to anything. Before I make my final decision though, I plan to have a sit down over a cup of coffee and check on some matters important to me such as: making sure the "ad thing" doesn't happen again, seeing if I will ever get to sing some lead or play my originals among some other things. I am just afraid to get back into the same old same old....same old songs, same old gigs, same old dirty tricks, same old limited role in the band, etc. I will know more after the next jam session I guess. Right now I am not feeling real good about it, but by the same token, don't know what I really want to do or what other options may be either. UGHH. BD "With the help of God and true friends I've come to realize, I still have two strong legs and even wings to fly" Gregg Allman from "Ain't Wastin Time No More" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITGITC Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Right now I am not feeling real good about it, but by the same token, don't know what I really want to do or what other options may be either. Charlotte's a big town. I went to school there. I'll betcha there are other opportunities if you look around. Is the Double Door still there near the Krispy Kreme on Independence? Yummm. Krispy Kreme. "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonksDream Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Right now I am not feeling real good about it, but by the same token, don't know what I really want to do or what other options may be either. UGHH. BD That statement tells you all you need to know! The manipulative jerk that ruined the experience last time asks you to come back and rejoin a situation where he has some power? That would make anyone wonder what he's up to. I think you just really want to play and are afraid to pass up this opportunity to make music, even if it means going back to a likely unhealthy situation. There have to be other outlets and opportunities less fraught with tension. You just have to look for them or create them. It reminds me of what my brother said when I told him I was "on the fence" about a woman: if you have to even ask the question, the answer is probably NO. Just look at how it's already got you tied up in knots! Find yourself a situation that you feel good about and save yourself some headaches. Instrumentation is meaningless - a song either stands on its own merit, or it requires bells and whistles to cover its lack of adequacy, much less quality. - kanker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate stubb Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Go back, reform the band, then kick the guy out before the first gig. Moe --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonksDream Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Go back, reform the band, then kick the guy out before the first gig. LOL!! Instrumentation is meaningless - a song either stands on its own merit, or it requires bells and whistles to cover its lack of adequacy, much less quality. - kanker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I like bands led by a benevolent dictator. Those run by committee often seem to have more issues. if you have to even ask the question, the answer is probably NO. Find yourself a situation that you feel good about and save yourself some headaches. Amen. Music is a combination of business and pleasure. When dealing with other musos, if those stars don't align, leave it alone. PD "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."--E. Ahbez "Nature Boy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeT156 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 One other thing to consider.....keyboard players (especially good ones) are more difficult to find than guitar players. They need you more than you need them. About 40 or 50% of the the gigs I play (as a OMB) I get asked by a musician (usually a guitar player) to join his band. No thanks. It might be more convenient to go back to a group that you worked with before, but I doubt that much has changed with the guy that kept looking for different players. If he had found them, he wouldn't be asking all of you guys to start the band up again. He probably found that that there are A LOT OF GUITAR players so he wasn't too successful in starting a new band. I'd say if you want to play again, start looking around before jumping back into the old hornet's nest. The other option is talk to the other guys in the band about getting a replacement for the trouble maker. Wouldn't that be ironic? Revenge is sweet. Mike T. Yamaha Motif ES8, Alesis Ion, Prophet 5 Rev 3.2, 1979 Rhodes Mark 1 Suitcase 73 Piano, Arp Odyssey Md III, Roland R-70 Drum Machine, Digitech Vocalist Live Pro. Roland Boss Chorus Ensemble CE-1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tucktronix Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Because of my past experiences with certain musicians, I have since put together sort of a "blacklist" of these musicians whom I would not join a band with. Kronos 88 Platinum, Yamaha YC88, Subsequent 37, Korg CX3, Hydrasynth 49-key, Nord Electro 5D 73, QSC K8.2, Lester K Me & The Boyz Chris Beard Band Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blues Disciple Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 I took your advice guys. I am still going back to jam with the guys on whom this post is about because I told them I would and I will sit down and talk about it before blowing it off, but I am not feeling any better about it....they are playing the same old Christian rock stuff we did before and I am sure their opinion about sharing singing duties and playing originals is the same (which is not good for me). Not really into it the more I think about it. I did though make contact with a fellow musician who I only jammed with (not part of a previous band) and we are going to get together and jam again---this will be playing and singing blues, even my original Christian blues, which I am into much, much more. We'll try this and see where it may go. Things are sure to work out with one of these arrangements, if not there will be other opportunities too. Worse comes to worse I can keep doing solo shows (with my Casio WK3700 thank you very much)----My Hammond C3 is still down and wait waiting for $$$ for repair. thanks for the advice....keep it coming. BD "With the help of God and true friends I've come to realize, I still have two strong legs and even wings to fly" Gregg Allman from "Ain't Wastin Time No More" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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