Disabled Musicians, prejudices? Need to vent

[Gary75]

I thought I'd tell you my latest little take on it and then ask if anyone has experienced it or seen it through the years.

 

Im diabetic, am 33 and have had eye problems since my mid 20's It's never stopped me being in bands, never stopped me from doing anything apart from driving for a month at a time until my bleeds clear from my eye, it's just a condition that has to be monitored and treated when neccessary just like millions of other people that have long term conditions. So anyway, day after New Years I have a major haemorrage on my right eye causing the retina to tear towards the centre of my eye. To cut a long story short, I need surgery to save my sight in my right eye, I had the same dilemma on my left 5 years ago, and touch wood I have had no more probs with it. So I need to take a few weeks out to recover this coming month.

 

The founding member (guitarist) said his mate would replace me for the one gig we have coming up as he knew all the songs anyway, so I was grateful for that. I then notice that our new band website has been constructed and lo and behold Im not in the band profiles. I thought it was just a case of getting everything put on. I then realised that my guestbook posts were being deleted and my calls never answered from said member. I kind of got the hint that I'd get no slack from him so I rang the other guys last night to find out what was going on. Apparently he's putting the band first and has'nt got time for layoffs (like I said I'd be out for 3 weeks)

 

Bearing in mind it's a new band, there is no money being made upto date in the last few months it has been formed so it's not like Im stopping anyones pay packet here. I just can't believe how cruel some people can be. Im actually pleased to be out of it, and basically told the other guys I quit but wouldnt give him the benefit of making him feel important as to try and contact him and tell him myself.

 

Anybody got stories like this where your cut no slack at all?. Sorry for the long post, but Im pretty annoyed and fairly hurt that I could be treated this way at this point in time. And to basically tell me I wasn't wanted by removing my guestbook posts and not answering my calls is probably the shittiest way to let someone know. At least have the balls to face the person you have issues with.

[Chris Link]

Pretty crappy. It's probably better that you found out what an ***hole this guy was sooner rather than later. Karmic justice would be this jerk needing hand surgery and finding himself replaced during his layoff.

 

I just read an article that contemplating revenge lights up on a PET scan an area of the brain associated with pleasure, but actually taking revenge does not. So, indulge a few revenge fantasy scenarios, but don't carry any of them out.

 

Hey, this isn't you is it?

 

"joining the band and replacing keyboardist"

 

https://forums.musicplayer.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/2038276/joining_the_band_and_replacing#Post2038276

[Gary75]

It's not me, but I did feel the need to check incase it was the guy who was replacing me!

 

Im, thankful that I can walk into another band whenever I want, not because I consider myself a great player, but I do it because I never ask for much in return. Playing in bands takes my mind of stuff like this and If I did'nt get any money I'd still do it. It's worse because I feel the place that makes me happy in bad times like this has been tarnished by some inconsiderate SOAB who is another dime a dozen guitar player.

 

I'm trying to let the revenge thing wash over me, gotta keep the blood pressure down til' I get patched up!

[Mike Warren]

You're better off without people with that attitude. Unfortunately, this is a prevalent attitude in the music industry. At the top end of things it's sometimes necessary, the show must go on and all, but in your situation it doesn't seem to be deserved.

 

[linwood]

Some people......jeez. When you get sick like that, you can really learn who your friends are. I've got a story, but it swings the other way and restored my faith in man. I write/produce music for a huge company. Maybe the biggest one of it's type in the US. I'm sub contracted, meaning I'm not an employee and I get no benefits/insurance. I pay for my own insurance. Anyway, seven years ago I was told I had cancer and needed surgery. When you're told something like that, at first you're really scared. You think that you might die soon.You're hangin' out in doctor's offices amongst a lot of really sick folks; waiting for them to get out of the mri machine so you can take your turn, you're getting blood drawn all the time, just doing a lot of things that you're unfamiliar with. On top of all that stress, you know that being a musician, if you don't work, you don't get paid. There are no sick days or paid vacations. I told the company that I work for what my situation was and the response that I immediately got was, " I'm sending you a check because I don't want you to worry about money. You just get your surgery and get well and when you come back to work, you can make it up." You never hear of that happening these days, espesially in the music business. When ever I think about that, it still just blows me away that they were so kind to me at my weakest moment.

[tucktronix]

Here's one word to sum up folks with these kinds of attitudes...

 

"scumbags"

 

I know of a fellow keyboard player, a great friend of mine who had a stroke about 10 yrs ago which left him with decreased mobility in his left side. He is only able to play with his right hand, and let me tell you... he will absolutely kick my ass with just his one hand. There was one time where he went to see a jazz band and he asked the pianist if he could sit in. He walks with a moderate limp, with a bit of a twist in his left arm. The band was thinking, "yeah, right".

 

So, hiding the smirks on their faces, the band members allow him to sit in on one tune. They were absolutely shocked to see this fellow play some amazing stuff. He ended up playing almost the entire set.

[KenElevenShadows]

I think this is one of the more heartless, scumbag, completely useless things I've heard a musician do any time recently. It's also a completely chickenshit way to do it instead of manning up and saying this to your face.

 

It's a good thing that you found out about how this person is before you, say, started signing contracts or doing anything else really serious. Better to find out sooner or later.

 

Anyway, good luck with the surgery!!!

[KenElevenShadows]

The thing that's gonna result from this is simply that you're gonna come back with your eyesight intact and play in a better band with better people.

[Joe Muscara]

One door closes, a better one opens.

[Tonysounds]

The guy's a douche: leave it to a guitarist--excuse me, "guitar player" to think the situation warranted this kind of action.

 

And SHAME on the other musicians for allowing it to happen.

 

In two of the bands I play in, a member needed spine surgery requiring a 6 month lay off (singer in one band, drummer in the other). Seeing as we all have jobs and these are club bands, not jobbing/career/only source of income bands, each took the lay off (and I worked with other bands in the interim). Both bands are back playing. But if the layoff had meant a decrease in business, I would have subbed them out until they got back (not replaced them).

 

Good riddance. Good luck with your recovery and finding a new musical home with a group a real human beings.

[Cygnus64]

Disabled Musicians, prejudices?

 

IMO, this has nothing to do with disabled musicians. They would have done the same if you had to take care of a relative, served in the national guard, or anything else that would make you unavailable for a short while. It's crappy.

[Gary75]

Thanks guys, I keep wanting to exact my revenge, but to be honest, the most i could do right now is a few choice words on the band website, of which would be deleted. Tony's right, im actually dissapointed just as much in the fact that none of the others have said anything, saying only they don't want to be involved in the policies of the band. It's still nice to know that the most proficient players are usually the nicest of guys compared to the run of the mill crappy ones who have a ridiculous ego to cover their deficiency in playing.

 

I wish in the years i have been playing to be able to pick this guy from there, this one from here, and that guy from this other band i was in, guess we all feel like that at times!

 

 

[David Loving]

You are lucky to be rid of them.

[b_3guy]

I've never told my story of what happened to me in 2004 to you guys in the Keyboard Corner. I had a double brain aneurism. Yeah the same thing that took out one of members not too long ago. He had his original one the same time as me.

 

I had been playing in this band for 8 years. Although the band was dying a slow death, it was still 15 - 20 gigs a year. I went into the hospital unexpectedly & they had to do about 6 gigs without me. Since there was already two guitar players, with one of the guitar players having a Roland guitar synth, they didn't replace me. But what they did do was learn to be without me. The guitar synth player learnt some of my parts & they dropped some of the more obvious ones they couldn't do. I made a full recovery & 3 1/2 months later I was ready to start playing again. I called up the singer who got really nervous all of a sudden. He said he's call me back. The leader of the band called me back & said "I've got some bad news, we won't be going back to 5 piece." With that I was out of the band & looking for a gig. I've never been able to get a steady gig going since, although I've managed to do a few gigs each & every year.

 

Anyways, to make a long story short, I wanted to go & tell them off, but I never did. It turns out that it's good that I didn't get around to burning that bridge, the leader of the band had a speaker cabinet fall on his hand & broke his pinky & middle finger of his left hand. He ended up hiring me to fill in for him for 4 gigs this Oct through Dec. I guess it's good Karma that I never got around to telling them off. But I never hesitate to tell my story to whoever will listen. The best comment I ever heard about what they did to me was "Cold man, geez that's cold."

 

It never ceases to amaze me what musicians will do to each other.

[kad]

I've been with the same band for 21 years. In a lot of ways, it's like a marriage - if there is no tolerance or compassion, it will never work. You don't need people like this in your life.

 

Best of luck with the eye surgery, and I don't need to remind you that Art Tatum, George Shearing and Stevie Wonder have done pretty well despite having vision problems.

[BP3]

I encounter issues with people due to my health problems. I'm diabetic as well, had neck surgery less than a year ago and have tearing in my right rotator cuff. Times like these truly show you who you friends are.

 

All the best with your surgery and I hope that you find folks to be creative with who are both honorable and talented. Those folks will be worth your time and loyalty.

[orangefunk]

I had a regular 2 year gig with a 13 piece blues band, it involved me travelling 50 miles or so on the train (about 50 mins), but I got expenses and the money was a real life saver for me being at uni. These people were all in their 40s and 50s... professionals, teachers, politicians, councillors, etc.. very polite and seemingly respectful... the money wasn't great (usually about £20-50 depending on the gig) but when you are literally living on £3000 a year it all comes in handy... also playing at weddings meant I could always take some of the food that was left at the end of the gig... ;-)

 

For one rehearsal they asked if a beginner (a friend of one of the sax players) could sit in and watch me play to which I agreed. this guy watched all my licks, and my charts, asked lots of questions and so on... but I didn't mind because I am of the nature to share things... Then we did a charity gig and they asked if this other guy could sit in.. again I agreed.... it was only a charity gig after all..

 

Then the next full gig came and I wasn't even asked to come... I asked what the situation was and they told me I had apparently agreed to a 1 gig 1 off share with this other guy.... total rubbish... as if I would give up the income... it was simply the fact I was inconvenient for them living 50 miles away and now the other guy had learnt my parts to a certain level they could tolerate they didn't need me.

 

Anyway, I decided to get out of that band... still on the website they go on about how "great" I was and how I "had to leave the band to go to uni" and so on... total crap of course... I was already at uni and needed the money and had spent considerable time and money on making charts, buying gear that I didn't really want (I sold my Rhodes 54 to get a crappy Korg SG-X piano module)...

 

When these things happen I think it just gives you a wake up call... I cannot imagine any of the bands I've been in with "real friends" ever treating me like that...

[Jazzman]

That's too bad b3boy about what had happened to you and your group. It seems that the older you get the less one can tolarate the excusses. I'm glad that you found this out early enough, but what a shame.

 

It's hard to believe that some folks believe that they are professionals in this business, and really arn't. It takes a lot more to be a leader in understanding situations like these than writing off a member of a team. No compassion or understanding unless that person has a personal problem of their own. This is true with anything.

 

When you get back on your feet you will start feeling better about yourself and get back in the swing of things. I wouldn't fret (pun intended)over this, it's not worth the time.

 

Get better soon,

 

Jazzman

[Mark Schmieder]

As the former Mayor Dinkins of New York famously said, "We should all keep in mind that we are all temporarily abled". The implication being that at the very least, we are disabled upon (or close to) our death (and birth). It made its point.

 

OTOH, as someone who is mildly disabled, I expect bands to dismiss me if it gets in the way of the band's success. It's one reason I've never gone beyond a regional tour with anyone. But there are better ways to let someone know their services cannot be trusted. It sucks, but it comes with the territory.

 

Also though, many musicians drink or do illegal drugs. While they are under the effects of the drug, they are disabled. This affects their dependability and their ability to react to a sudden situation as well, and it affects the other bandmembers.

 

I remember how shocked I was when Andy Partridge of XTC fired Dave Gregory after at least 15 years of working together, due to the same mild disability that I have (hypoglycemia). Since they don't tour due to Andy Partridge's stage fright, I never figured out why suddenly this potential for a sugar crash was a liability the band couldn't live with. Whatever.

[KenElevenShadows]

The guy's a douche: leave it to a guitarist--excuse me, "guitar player" to think the situation warranted this kind of action.

 

And SHAME on the other musicians for allowing it to happen.

 

It has nothing to do with being a guitarist or guitar player or someone who brandishes a guitar. I play guitar as well as keyboards. And as you point out, the other musicians let it happen and are complicit.

[Mr. Nightime]

I was in the same band for 6 years, until recently. I left not out af any problem, but that my association with them had just run its course. But these guys were the absolute bast when it came to a member being out due to illness.

 

We had one guitar player that was disabled due to a rare blood disease. He would have to take massive amounts of his meds to get up the energy to gig.

 

Well, over the course of the six years, he was out for extended periods 3 times, our other guitar player once, due to family issues, our drummer was out due to hip replacement surgery, and our bass player was out first for back surgery, then for knee surgery, then because he cut off his left thumb and the finger tips of three other fingers in a table saw accident. We got subs for all at the times, but they were relcomed back in as sson as they were again able.