I did a gig where, after meticulously soundchecking everything on the stage, the soundman finally got to me and after about 5 seconds asked through the talkback "Are the keyboards really necessary for what you guys do?"
I did a wedding once - absolutely epic wedding featuring an 8 hour reception and bands playing in shifts. As the last half hour or so draws to a close, I see the bride down a couple of Long Islands, a couple shots and at least one beer. The girl could throw down some serious drinks - I think her liver had a little practice, because she wasn't anywhere near as loaded as a normal person would be. After I get done loading my gear out, I go back in and lead our blind trumpet player out of the hall. On the way out, we get stopped by the bride and groom. Somehow, the conversations split and the groom is talking to the trumpet player while I'm standing there with the bride who says "No, I can't..." To which I say "Excuse me?" The bride then says "I just wanna...." and then she motions like she's going to grab me by the hair and drag my face to her freshly married crotch.....