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what's your favorite way to kill yourself?


D. Gauss

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come on folks..get those posts up or i'm gonna off myself right here by watching a backstreet boys video over and over again and it won't be pretty and you'll have only yourselves to blame plus have all that guilt on your heads and that sticky, smelly, bloody mess to clean up...

 

-d. gauss

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No, seriously though, if I was gonna off myself, I'd have to come up with some clever Rube Goldberg-esque contraption...

 

There was some weird movie short that something like HBO used to show between movies late at night. This businessman builds this big mousetrap...huge, and then lays his head down on it. SNAP!!!

 

Or some gloriously humongous (sp?) end like Slim Pickens at the end of "Dr. Strangelove"...

 

Speaking of which...are you all familiar with the Darwin awards???

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Well, if I go down I always wonted to go in big stile.

Remember "Pet Cemetery"???

When that Mack smashes the boy? Well, that's how I want to go.

Hit by a car???? No way! Not me! It has to be 18 wheeler!!!!

And it has to transport guitars and amps and stuff http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

If it sounds god, just play the darn thing
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Yep, I guess a Wile E. Coyote death...as long as it was quick...

 

I've always liked trains...hmmm...

 

Better go to www.stickdeath.com for some ideas...

 

Well that was the wrong URL...but it's the one that has cartoons of stick men being offed in very clever ways...

 

This message has been edited by Tedster on 08-30-2001 at 02:43 AM

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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>>I've known for some time how I will do it but as yet they do not make a microwave oven large enough........<<

 

hehehe the old exploding gremlin trick http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif

 

 

 

------------------

William F. Turner

Songwriter

turnermusic

William F. Turner

Songwriter

turnersongs

 

Sometimes the truth is rude...

tough shit... get used to it.

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Originally posted by DC:

Wasn't there a Darwin award where a guy jumped off a cliff into shark infested waters with a hangman's noose around his neck and he tried to shoot himself on the way down as well and he still lived long enough to get to the hospitol and died some other way or something?

 

That's hilarious!!!

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Ways to off yourselves huh?

 

Mine I'd like to eat bananas and rice pudding, made by the spousage, no kidding she's very good at rice pud made in the aga you know, a very heavenly way to go and sod the microwave way too messy!!

 

Simon

...remember there is absolutely no point in talking about someone behind their back unless they get to hear about it...
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Originally posted by Lee Flier:

Well, what else? I'd vote for getting squashed to death by a horde of horny drummers! http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

--Lee

 

Reminds me of the Richard Pryor bit:

 

"My daddy died f*ckin'. Now, I know, if I had a choice between gettin' hit by a bus, or dyin' in some p#ssy...I know what line I'd be in.

 

I'd be in that LONG motherf*cker..."

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Originally posted by Lee Flier:

Well, what else? I'd vote for getting squashed to death by a horde of horny drummers! http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

--Lee

 

Oh great... How am I gonna get THAT image out of my mind...

 

Lee, you're ruining me for other women!!!

 

guitplayer

I'm still "guitplayer"!

Check out my music if you like...

 

http://www.michaelsaulnier.com

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Originally posted by d gauss:

was at the train station and a guy got hit by a metroliner at 120 mph. his shoes were still on the tracks but everythiong else was just dip for cannibal chips.....

 

-d. gauss

 

I'd say maybe a few nanoseconds of intense pain, followed by oblivion. If he indeed lived long enough for his brain to register said pain before being squashed to oatmeal...

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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I think I'd have to jump off a perfectly good airplane flying as high as it could go. After getting jumped by a horde of hot female guitar players on the way up of course http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

Speaking of jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, has anyone seen the "Faces of death" videos?

 

There's a guy skydiving in one of them, and wouldn't you know he landed right smack in the middle of an ALLIGATOR FARM!!!!!! Only I'm pretty sure he didn't MEAN to land in that particular spot, damn wind anyway. Talk about your bad luck.

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Isn't that what heroin is for? I suppose an extreamly large dose of oxycontin would work, too.

 

ASIDE: I saw on the cover of USA today today that a bunch of sick people taunted and coerced a woman to jump from a bridge in Seattle yesterday; and she did.

 

What was that thread about humanity and the point to everything?

 

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New and Improved Music Soon: http://www.mp3.com/chipmcdonald

Guitar Lessons in Augusta Georgia: www.chipmcdonald.com

Eccentric blog: https://chipmcdonaldblog.blogspot.com/

 

/ "big ass windbag" - Bruce Swedien

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Okay, lets all do the following for allowing so many "favourite" posts. First, pump yourself full of morphine while standing near the edge of a cliff. As the morphine takes effect, pull the pin on the hand grenade duct-taped to your chest(4 seconds), count to two and fling your sorry self off the cliff toward the sharp rocks over a hundred feet down. If this fails and some parts of you survive, at least the morphine will stop your heart and deaden the pain while you pass out as you bleed to death. This is a pretty sure way. If you are out of hand grenades, just email me and I will provide them as a public service (I do have to keep at least one for myself, though).

 

Matt

No clever saying.

No matter how good something is, there will always be someone blasting away on a forum somewhere about how much they hate it.
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Originally posted by lynx:

I've known for some time how I will do it but as yet they do not make a microwave oven large enough........

 

Oh yes they do, mon...that`s how Aum Shin Rikyo got rid of some of their victims. All they found were bits of clothing and some bone fragments.

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Originally posted by Chip McDonald:

ASIDE: I saw on the cover of USA today today that a bunch of sick people taunted and coerced a woman to jump from a bridge in Seattle yesterday; and she did.

 

What was that thread about humanity and the point to everything?

 

 

Might be naive of me, but that's why I have to believe that everyone will ultimately answer for their transgressions, call it hell, call it bad Karma, what have you. I'd like to believe those assholes that coerced her into jumping will find themselves in a big boiling stew pot full of shit or something when they die.

 

I haven't watched the "Faces of Death" videos..'cause I'm not incredibly in to morbid curiousity...but, that's almost a Wile E. Coyote way to go.

 

(Steve Irwin voice): "Now, Oy'm just gonna pull the ripcord here and, AUGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!"

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Originally posted by Tedster:

I haven't watched the "Faces of Death" videos..

 

"Faces of Death" is a sign of the apocalypse. You can now go see a move/rent a tape of people dying horrible deaths - *as entertainment*.

 

I thought it was disgusting and took a lot of flack for it when I was a kid for saying so, and I still think it's sick. That's crap for people like Hitler and Ted bundy to enjoy, not me. Real death is not entertaining, and morbid curiousity is a character flaw if you ask me. Death isn't cool, it's not neat, it sucks, and you're an idiot if you're reading this and think otherwise.

 

that's almost a Wile E. Coyote way to go.

 

I forgot, I'm sure the best way to kill yourself is found somewhere in the pages of the ACME catalog.

 

MAN, I could do some cool stuff if I had an ACME catalog!!!

 

------------------

New and Improved Music Soon: http://www.mp3.com/chipmcdonald

Guitar Lessons in Augusta Georgia: www.chipmcdonald.com

Eccentric blog: https://chipmcdonaldblog.blogspot.com/

 

/ "big ass windbag" - Bruce Swedien

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Originally posted by Chip McDonald:

"Faces of Death" is a sign of the apocalypse. You can now go see a move/rent a tape of people dying horrible deaths - *as entertainment*.

 

I thought it was disgusting and took a lot of flack for it when I was a kid for saying so, and I still think it's sick. That's crap for people like Hitler and Ted bundy to enjoy, not me. Real death is not entertaining, and morbid curiousity is a character flaw if you ask me. Death isn't cool, it's not neat, it sucks, and you're an idiot if you're reading this and think otherwise.

 

[

 

I couldn't agree more. And, I wonder if its availability has fueled the fire of any present day Bundys or Gacys.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Originally posted by Chip McDonald:

"Faces of Death" is a sign of the apocalypse. You can now go see a move/rent a tape of people dying horrible deaths - *as entertainment*.

 

I thought it was disgusting and took a lot of flack for it when I was a kid for saying so, and I still think it's sick. That's crap for people like Hitler and Ted bundy to enjoy, not me. Real death is not entertaining, and morbid curiousity is a character flaw if you ask me. Death isn't cool, it's not neat, it sucks, and you're an idiot if you're reading this and think otherwise.

 

that's almost a Wile E. Coyote way to go.

 

I forgot, I'm sure the best way to kill yourself is found somewhere in the pages of the ACME catalog.

 

MAN, I could do some cool stuff if I had an ACME catalog!!!

 

 

It is pretty disgusting and I wouldn't watch it now Chip, I appluad your obviously good morals, wish more people had them. I watched a couple of em when I was MUCH younger, wouldn't even think of renting one these days.

 

I couldn't agree with your assesment more, being someone who lost their only brother to a tragic accident that was completely someone else's fault (got hit by a drunk driver who got away with it http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/mad.gif )I fully understand just how senseless and heartbreaking death can be.

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As you point out, unfortunately, those videos seem to almost be a "rite of passage" for some teens. I would never think of renting them, or allowing my teens to watch them (sound like a parent, don't I?) but some bunionhead always has 'em when kids come to a party and they have to show them. My kids of course saw them and were disgusted. It's pretty sick, like, let's see how much crap you can put up with as if it "makes a man out of you" or something.

 

But, I think that here is the time to applaud people who have to watch "faces of death" not on video, but in real life routinely as part of their jobs and deal with it accordingly. I'm talking about emergency workers, ambulance drivers, firefighters, trauma room personnel, etc., those who give of themselves thoughtlessly to deal with the most tragic of human conditions in order to possibly save a few lives.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Sorry to spoil the fun, but the most chilling suicide story was one I heard from a nurse friend. Apparently, some ex-patient of hers had the larynx removed due to throat cancer, and got so depressed that he tried to hang himself. He did not die, because he could still breath through the hole in his throat, but he succeeded in breaking his neck, so he got paralyzed from the neck down.

 

JoseC.

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