OT: Hillbilly Vasectomy

[Garrafon]

I thought this appropriate since there seem to be so many forumites from the south:

 

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his

veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have anymore children.

>

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then

hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

>

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next

to my ear is going to help me."

>

"Trust me," said the doctor.

>

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count...

 

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

>

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

>

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, West Virginia and Washington. Frankly, I don't see any reasons why it wouldn't similarly work in certain parts of Virginia, Georgia, the Carolinas and/or Florida.

[lerber3]

It probably wouldn't work in most of the blue states.

 

... just lobbing a useless opinion in from Canada (USA's hat). Off-topic threads rule!

[Michael Jones]

This forum is not the place for this type of 'humor'.

 

Although this type of cultural dissing is popular is some circles, this could be rather offensive to some of our esteemed forum members.

 

Where do you draw the line? Many of the contributors of this forum are from countries other than the US. At what point are they to included or added to the 'list' of "dissinees"?

 

The moderator should delete this thread before it gets out of hand.

[masone81]

Michael,

 

You must be kidding. This post is hilarious. And I'm allowed to say that because I grew up on a dairy farm in Leitchfield, KY. Keep it coming. Just don't get mad when the democrat jokes start flyin'!

 

Mason

[Dick Ward MP Hall of Fame]

Originally posted by Michael Jones:

This forum is not the place for this type of 'humor'.

 

Although this type of cultural dissing is popular is some circles, this could be rather offensive to some of our esteemed forum members.

 

Where do you draw the line? Many of the contributors of this forum are from countries other than the US. At what point are they to included or added to the 'list' of "dissinees"?

 

The moderator should delete this thread before it gets out of hand.

Yes, inappropriate jokes have no place on the internet. Especially in a forum.

 

God I friggin hate lame old people.

 

(or, if you're not a lame old dude, lamer young people that act like lame old people)

[Stephen Fortner]

This particular joke is a little racy, and "hillbilly" is a cultural stereotype that might offend some people, My official call is that this post walks right up to the line of content prohibited by the forum policies, but doesn't cross it.

 

The word "vasectomy" might actually cause some site blockers - in school libraries, for example, or more ironically, Keyboard's own offices - to filter out Musicplayer. That's what concerns me more, but I'm not about to delete a post based on that unless I hear that some fit is actually hitting the shan.

[Martin Hines]

Just FYI,

 

A typical cherry bomb is 1 inch in diameter, which is too wide to be inserted into the mouth of a beer can.

[RABid]

Im not mad about the joke but I am a bit disappointed. Ive dealt with prejudices since I was a small child. My family would go to a lake in Tennessee that was also used by many people from Ohio. Many of them never tried to hide their beliefs that people from the south are poor and ignorant. At first I thought that musicians should know better, but then, that would by typecasting musicians. I try not to typecast anyone.

 

Robert

[Dick Ward MP Hall of Fame]

I think I may cry, honestly.

[jackpine]

I'm grew up in Chicago .... and married a hillbilly 25 years ago.

 

When I did the hillbilly vasectomy.... she said she'd count for me..... I still can't hear.

[Chris Link]

Originally posted by Rabid:

Robert

What the hell kind of hillbilly name is Robert anyway?

 

C'mon, every ethnic/racial/regional/professional/religious /whatever joke is only funny because there is at least a small kernel of truth at the bottom. Stereotypes, while certainly unfair to many or most members of any group, have some basis in reality.

 

It's a nearly universal human trait (or shortcoming) to poke fun at others. Here in Omaha, people laugh about Council Bluffs, Iowa for being hicks (sorry, they call it Council-tucky). When my wife and daughter go to Kentucky for some horse stuff, the other kids can't believe we have real stores like Gap and Abercrombie. I suppose they think if they're not wearing home-spun, they might have a calico dress made with fabric delivered by the Wells Fargo wagon.

 

Now, we might accept the provincial label from people from New York or LA, but to get grief from a state that has honest-to-God hillbillies (not to mention five Fortune 500 companies in the entire state versus four in Omaha alone) is too much.

 

Sorry- gotta run- I just got in from a gig, and have to unhitch the horses from the covered wagon and make sure there are enough buffalo chips in the pot-bellied stove to keep the cabin warm through the night

[JMcS]

Let's lighten up. It's not as if someone drew a picture of Billy Carter with a fuse sticking out of his baseball cap. Now that would be funn, uh offensive.

[PianoJazz1951]

...anybody heard any good Jewish or Black jokes lately???

I guarandamntee all of you have told plenty of them; but unlike the "hillbilly" or rural-themed jokes, they're deemed "unacceptable".

Still think ethnic/culturally-based humor is funny?

Polish?

Hispanic?

Take your pick; whatever you choose, whether it's socially acceptable or not, whether it gets laughs or not, whether the

group is covered by the Civil Rights Act or not, you've just

identified yourself.

As an ass...

[MidLifeCrisis]

Guess we should change the name of the forum from KC to PC.

[stepay]

Mason,

 

I have an aunt and uncle who live in Leitchfield, KY, and I've spent lots of time there. Such a small town. I bet you know them.

 

Amazing.

[CraigT]

Originally posted by PianoJazz1951:

...anybody heard any good Jewish or Black jokes lately???

I guarandamntee all of you have told plenty of them; but unlike the "hillbilly" or rural-themed jokes, they're deemed "unacceptable".

Still think ethnic/culturally-based humor is funny?

Polish?

Hispanic?

Take your pick; whatever you choose, whether it's socially acceptable or not, whether it gets laughs or not, whether the

group is covered by the Civil Rights Act or not, you've just

identified yourself.

As an ass...

What makes cultural humor different than other humor? There's typically a butt of every joke. Is it okay to make fun of fat people? How about slow or retarded folks? Republicans? Democrats? Old ladies? The president? Arabs? Christians? Muslims? Texans? Massholes?(if you know this one you're wicked retarded)

 

Humor is an interesting thing. While being funny it can be hurtful too. I think alot depends on how a joke is told, to whom it is told, and if there is some implicit intent or message.

 

The original poster contributes regularly to this forum. It is my guess that he was just trying to have some good-natured fun with some of his friends here. In the few months I've been frequenting this site I haven't seen you post so maybe you haven't seen the comraderie here. Calling him an ass is wrong, particularly since that categorises asses which is unfair to asses.

[Dick Ward MP Hall of Fame]

I make fun of metalheads and pollocs all the time and am both. It's funny. I make fun of keyboardists even more. It's funny.

 

Oh, also, as response to most of the posts above.

 

 

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

[Chris Link]

Originally posted by CraigT:

Originally posted by PianoJazz1951:

Massholes?(if you know this one you're wicked retarded)

 

Isn't that the term upper New Englanders use for Bay State emigres who, after moving north to escape the problems in Massachusetts, demand changes to ensure that their new home will end up with the same problems.

 

People in Oregon, Washington and all over the west have the same complaint about Californinans. Here's a funny piece written a couple of years ago called "An Open Letter to Californians":

 

http://www.americanprowler.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=3712

 

Oh crap, I forgot we weren't allowed to make fun of anyone, any time, any way. Better stick to "why did the chicken cross the road?"- but there's probably a group out there dedicated to the rights of domesticated fowl who will protest the stereotyping and belittling attitude shown by this type of so-called "humor".

[shniggens]

Originally posted by garrafon:

I thought this appropriate since there seem to beAt which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

>

Poor guy blew his load.

 

I thought it was funny.

 

 

[JMcS]

Originally posted by misterdregs:

Oh crap, I forgot we weren't allowed to make fun of anyone, any time, any way. Better stick to "why did the chicken cross the road?"- but there's probably a group out there dedicated to the rights of domesticated fowl who will protest the stereotyping and belittling attitude shown by this type of so-called "humor".

The group is called Chicken Chokers of America. They are affiliated with the Brotherhood of the Sheep.

[Billdar]

Originally posted by CraigT:

 

"What makes cultural humor different than other humor? There's typically a butt of every joke. Is it okay to make fun of fat people? How about slow or retarded folks? Republicans? Democrats? Old ladies? The president? Arabs? Christians? Muslims? Texans? Massholes?(if you know this one you're wicked retarded)

 

Humor is an interesting thing. While being funny it can be hurtful too. I think alot depends on how a joke is told, to whom it is told, and if there is some implicit intent or message.

 

The original poster contributes regularly to this forum. It is my guess that he was just trying to have some good-natured fun with some of his friends here. In the few months I've been frequenting this site I haven't seen you post so maybe you haven't seen the comraderie here. Calling him an ass is wrong, particularly since that categorises asses which is unfair to asses."

 

 

CraigT,

 

Well I personally don't believe in public ass-calling, and I try to limit my private ass-calling, with some success. But I'd say that you might be getting into philosophical deep water regarding ass-callers as you catagorize them as "wrong".

 

You know, y'all, maybe my hearing is selective, but I don't recall hearing any rich white folks jokes.

 

My father was born in Tallapoosa County, Alabama, in a log cabin....no kidding.......and experienced significant poverty as a child. When he moved to Chicago after WW 2, he was occaisionally referred to as a hill billy because he had a southern accent. He didn't like this much.

 

So I guess I felt a little less guilty when I laughed at Garrafon's joke. Humor is a curious thing.

 

I'd be willing to bet, Garrafon, that you laugh at attorney jokes.

 

As I write this, there is a BIG smile on my face!

 

Hey, y'all, love is all ya need!

 

Cheers,

Bill

[MidLifeCrisis]

Originally posted by Billdar:

You know, y'all, maybe my hearing is selective, but I don't recall hearing any rich white folks jokes.

 

Oh Puuullleeeaaasseeee....

 

Guess nobody ever joked about Bill Gate's evil empire or The Donald's hair and divorces.

 

Maybe instead of the politically correct keyboard forum we should be the pure as the lily white driven snow keyboard forum.

[Chris Link]

A Kentucky state trooper pulled over a pickup. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

 

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

[Hugo H]

Since this is a music forum we really should be considerate of all types of folks who stop by here and simply not have jokes about anyone who might be a musician.

 

Which eliminates all humor or jokes directed at anyone except drummers.

[Billdar]

Originally posted by MidLifeCrisis:

Originally posted by Billdar:

You know, y'all, maybe my hearing is selective, but I don't recall hearing any rich white folks jokes.

 

Oh Puuullleeeaaasseeee....

 

Guess nobody ever joked about Bill Gate's evil empire or The Donald's hair and divorces.

 

Maybe instead of the politically correct keyboard forum we should be the pure as the lily white driven snow keyboard forum.

.................................................

 

 

Midlifecrisis,

 

Those are jokes about specific rich white folks, not about the catagory of "rich white folks".

 

That's WAYYYYYY different. I still don't recall hearing and "rich white folks: jokes.

 

Cheers,

Bill

[Billdar]

Originally posted by MidLifeCrisis:

Originally posted by Billdar:

You know, y'all, maybe my hearing is selective, but I don't recall hearing any rich white folks jokes.

 

Oh Puuullleeeaaasseeee....

 

Guess nobody ever joked about Bill Gate's evil empire or The Donald's hair and divorces.

 

Maybe instead of the politically correct keyboard forum we should be the pure as the lily white driven snow keyboard forum.

.................................................

 

 

Midlifecrisis,

 

Those are jokes about specific rich white folks, not about the catagory of "rich white folks".

 

That's WAYYYYYY different. I still don't recall hearing any "rich white folks" jokes.

 

Cheers,

Bill

[Billdar]

Originally posted by MidLifeCrisis:

Originally posted by Billdar:

You know, y'all, maybe my hearing is selective, but I don't recall hearing any rich white folks jokes.

 

Oh Puuullleeeaaasseeee....

 

Guess nobody ever joked about Bill Gate's evil empire or The Donald's hair and divorces.

 

Maybe instead of the politically correct keyboard forum we should be the pure as the lily white driven snow keyboard forum.

.................................................

 

 

Midlifecrisis,

 

Those are jokes about specific rich white folks, not about the catagory of "rich white folks".

 

That's WAYYY different. I still don't recall hearing any "rich white folks" jokes.

 

Cheers,

Bill

[Chris Link]

Originally posted by Hugo H:

Since this is a music forum we really should be considerate of all types of folks who stop by here and simply not have jokes about anyone who might be a musician.

 

Which eliminates all humor or jokes directed at anyone except drummers.

LOL.

 

And a lot of guitarists, too.

[David Loving]

My band "Work Release" practices when we can during our 15 year run. We're working up new material. I limbered up the vasectomy joke last night. To avoid offending hillbillies, which we do not have any of down here in Texas, I referred to the protagonist as a redneck, which my whole band last night can identify with and relate to. As shown by their inability to read charts well, the counting aspect of the joke hit home, too. They liked the joke. Our rich white folks' joke centered around a version of "Chaney's Got a Gun," the old arrowsmith song.

[Dave Pierce]

Wait a minute, this entire thread is a joke, right?

 

Right? RIGHT?

 

--Dave