shniggens Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 In the Goodbye Yellow Brick road DVD, Elton John claims that is IMPOSSIBLE to be sexy while playing the piano. I thought, "Elton never played with his willy hanging out!". Well, not that I know of anyway. Nor have I . . . yet. This got me thinking. Can a piano player ever reach the sex sybol status on stage that guitarists do when they jerk-off in front of the audience? Surely the guitar-keyboard thingy can't be the only way to self-inflate a keyboardists sexuality on stage. Of course, Tori Amos has a way of making people jealous of the piano bench. Amateur Hack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superbobus Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Is it sexy to play the piano with your willy standing out? Not for me at least. I think Eliane Elias must be one of the most sexy piano players, both in looks and playing. http://www.bobwijnen.nl Hipness is not a state of mind, it's a fact of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmplifierExperts Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Sexiest piano player? I would have to say Catherine Wilson--she looks like she's having a you-know-what while she's playing. Best Regards, Mark A. Weiss, P.E. www.ampexperts.com - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prague Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 You're looking to Elton John? That may be the problem. As for the hetero world, females seem to have responded to the Wakeman and Billy Joel types. They also got some admiration from the males. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Lozada Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Diana Krall: Sexy and Talented. Period Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus at Fender Musical Instruments Company Instagram: guslozada Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología www.guslozada.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r33k Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Tori Amos. Ever seen her live? Whew! r33k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITGITC Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Originally posted by Gus Lozada: Diana Krall: Sexy and Talented. Period Agreed! Is There Gas In The Car? "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJDM Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Sure Diana and Tori look good doing almost anything. They could be washing the dishes over at Elvis's place and it would be good show. (Particularly if they washed them together and they got all soapy and wet doing it)But it is pretty rare to see anyone who was not sexy get sexy play the keys. I think the only thing can be attractive is when someone is really into it and they are able to make the instrument sing, they can sell it and they really come through in the performance. Of course they would have to have something sexy about them internally to make that happen.- DJDM DJDM.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyote Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 I have trouble imagining anyone who's ever worn a duck suit onstage as sexy LOL But as far as reaching that "guitar god" thing goes, I think Keith Emerson managed it quite well. From my male POV, I imagine he was more appealing to the ladies than Rick Wakeman (who really wasn't a good-looking guy in his youth). Oh, and after watching the SuperBowl 2003 - Shania Twain posefest, those guitar-keyboard things will never be considered cool (if they ever were). Besides, how could that inflate someone like myself who plays a Hammond console? No little strap-ons here, folks - how can you do better than to actually be playing your big organ, an organ which dwarfs every synth around? I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist. This ain't no track meet; this is football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Fortner Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 It's funny... I was talkng with Derek Sherinian at NAMM about exactly this subject for awhile. He's the guy you can see in the Clavia ads in the magazine, with this cool red keyboard stand that angles the keys towards the audience. He was doing demos at the MOTU booth, and had one 2-tier leg of that stand there. It was built out of stock Ultimate parts for him by his tech. Anyway, he was telling me how part of the problem is that the keyboardist is relatively hidden, and there has to be a way to have more of a presence with the audience than a strap-on keyboard, which indeed has a cheesy 80's stigma about it as well as some very practical performance limitations. No one's mentioned Jerry Lee Lewis on the piano. His piano antics made him enough of a sex symbol to worry more than a few parents, and he was doing them before a lot of people were throwing electric guitars around in theatrical ways. Not to mentioned that he sang into a straight mic stand (no boom) placed at the treble end of the keyboard. I'd put Kate Bush's name in there as the O.G. sexy keyboard diva, but like with Tori and Diana, I'm a guy keyboardist, so it is a rather obvious matter that an attractive female playing the instrument I love is something I find sexy. Not only that, but she did a lot of her own synth production and worked with early high-end samplers like the Fairlight a lot. Woof. Stephen Fortner Principal, Fortner Media Former Editor in Chief, Keyboard Magazine Digital Piano Consultant, Piano Buyer Magazine Industry affiliations: Antares, Arturia, Giles Communications, MS Media, Polyverse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Togakure99 Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 All the girlfriends I've ever had tell me that one of the sexiest things they've seen me do is be up on stage playing the keys. I dunno what it is, but I like it. I also did get quite a few beads and plastic flowers put on me by some girls during a gig this past Mardi Gras a few weeks ago. Of course, that may also be due to the fact that I'm the only one in the band that was close to their age (I'm 22, the rest are closer to their 50's), and my keys were set up right next to where everyone had to walk to get to the bathroom. Brett G. Hall Piano Company, Inc. Metairie, Louisiana Kurzweil Keyboard Dept. Manager "My dream is to have sex in odd time signatures." - J. Rudess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zvenx Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 not a big fan of her music, but she sure looks sexy to me when she is playing. Alicia Keys richard sven sound sculptist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marino Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 While reading this thread, I realized that more or less all the guys and gals who came to my mind as sexy keyboard players, were already mentioned by someone else. If nothing else, this demonstrates how few of them are around... In the classical world, I would add people like Ivo Pogorelich, Marta Argerich, and Teresa Carreno (never heard Teresa play, but I've seen the photos and read about her). About being seen onstage: Sometimes people look at me as an exhibitionist, but every time I play in some rock situation, I make sure to be placed at the edge of the stage, at an angle where at least a part of the audience can see my face. I also like to play while standing up, and I love to move a little bit and wearing the right stuff. Usually, women keep watching the singer and/or lead guitarist... But at last, I can say that I tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marino Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Originally posted by Togakure: All the girlfriends I've ever had tell me that one of the sexiest things they've seen me do is be up on stage playing the keys. I dunno what it is, but I like it. Well, when they're your girlfriends *already*, that doesn't count!! I also did get quite a few beads and plastic flowers put on me by some girls during a gig this past Mardi Gras a few weeks ago. Of course, that may also be due to the fact that I'm the only one in the band that was close to their age (I'm 22, the rest are closer to their 50's) Yeah, I guess this *could* have something to do with it... Hey Brett - I'm *joking*, OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Togakure99 Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 *lol* Brett G. Hall Piano Company, Inc. Metairie, Louisiana Kurzweil Keyboard Dept. Manager "My dream is to have sex in odd time signatures." - J. Rudess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyote Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 This is because most keyboardists seem to prefer being hidden! They have a 3-tier stand facing the audience, and they hide back there and the audience is lucky to see the guy's head above that rack of stuff. IMO the keyboardist ought be either at the front of one side of the stage, or on a riser next to the drummer. AND he ought get that huge rack of keys out of the way; turn it to the side at least so some of the audience can see his face and his playing. This is de rigeur in the classical world (in fact, in most any situation where a grand piano is being used) - and it's for performance reasons. Some folks think it's because that's the way the piano cover opens to project sound. However, that cover could have been made to open from the front (with the hinges above the keyboard). So stop hiding behind your equipment, and get out there and play! (Hmmm, could this statement also be applied to GAS attacks? ) Originally posted by Stephen Fortner: [QB]Anyway, he was telling me how part of the problem is that the keyboardist is relatively hidden, and there has to be a way to have more of a presence with the audience than a strap-on keyboard I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist. This ain't no track meet; this is football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DafDuc Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Play standing up - and dance while you play. Throw your head back and close your eyes when you take a solo - up to you if you want to do it Stevie Wonder style or Mahavishnu style. Make your easy parts look hard. Make your hard parts look easy. Stuff a cucumber or zucchini wrapped in tin foil down the front of your pants. Learn to play a theremin - or an airsynth. Be witty and charming. Be the one who invites the girls up on stage when you do "Shake a Tailfeather" (note - whoever it is who's doing this now in your band will NOT want to give this up - you may need to resort to blackmail). Learn to sing. Well. Become the lead singer. Hire a keyboardist - just sit down at the piano yourself for the ballads. Chicks dig that. Attach your keyboard to a pogo stick. Sequence all your keyboard parts and play fake guitar. Play your strap-on keyboard in a Berlin* tribute band. (* - Or Fixx, or Tears for Fears, or Simple Minds...) Mount your keyboard upside down. Lay on the floor and play it on your back. Hire girls to come sit on you and pretend to really enjoy themselves. It's the "I'll have what she's having" ploy. Extensive plastic surgery, a spartan workout regimen, a really good fitting tux --- and never break a sweat. Order your martinis shaken, not stirred. Daf (didn't do any of these and still got the girl...) I played in an 8 piece horn band. We would often get bored. So...three words: "Tower of Polka." - Calumet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete psingpy Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Not sure if I'm spelling her name right... Linda Genteel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dementia13 Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Who was the pianist in this thread? My search is over... By the way, Coyote, 150 guys who did a search on "Shania Twain" and "inflated" hoping to find pictures of her boobs just hit this page by accident because of your post. My .02 worth: we're supposed to be cerebral, not sexy. Piano's a restrained instrument, compared to the physicality and aggression of an electric guitar or the sensitivity of an acoustic. Organ can scream a little more. The sax has soul. We have frickin' Hanon exercises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoo schultz Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 http://img17.photobucket.com/albums/v50/schultz/valentina.bmp Valentina Lisitsa !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PianoJazz1951 Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 ...Diana Krall- good looking and plays better than she looks. For all you dudes wanting to be sex objects, why do you think Keith Emerson wore leather pants and shot fire out of his "joy stick"? We will not waiver; we will not tire; we will not falter; and we will not fail! George W. Bush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shniggens Posted March 7, 2004 Author Share Posted March 7, 2004 Dafduc, Amateur Hack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 To Dafduc's excellent list, I would add: don't just play with your willie out, play all your glissandos and organ smears with your willie! It tickles a bit, and a semi-weighted keyboard is recommended (unless you're extrordinarily musically gifted! Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superbobus Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 Originally posted by DafDuc: Make your easy parts look hard. Make your hard parts look easy. That'll work... http://www.bobwijnen.nl Hipness is not a state of mind, it's a fact of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resigned Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 When I think of sexy I think of more than just what someone looks like. Sure Diana Krall looks great but the sexiest thing about her is her voice, which is like silk (especially on songs like "The Look of Love"). Also Norah Jones - she looks great but she sounds even better. I always thought Carly Simon was up there on the sexy scale, but it's the combination of voice and playing in addition to looks that does it for me. Obviously from my post you can tell I'm a hetero guy so sexy means women for me. But you gotta give some credit to people like John Tesh, Yanni etc. for a combination of looks and playing ability that women would find sexy in a keyboardist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Hooper Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 ...Dave Bryce pacing around like a madman and recreating Emerson lick during Alesis Clinics of yore... Composer/Performer at Roger Hooper Music Product Trainer at CASIO www.rogerhooper.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerpop Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 I'm dead sexy... http://www.cloud.edu/dept/business/smit0899/fat%20bastard.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sudeep Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 while she was actually playing the piano, Michelle Pfeifer dancing around the piano singing "Cant Take my eyes off you" (from Fabulous Baker Boys) was DAMN SEXY!!! It inspired to STUDY the piano more seriously!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Azzarello Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Originally posted by Gus Lozada: Diana Krall: Sexy and Talented. Period I agree Gus, although my wife really is annoyed by the hair flipping thing. Just listen and watch her sing "A Drink of You" (I think that's the name... a Joni Mitchell tune). Granted the smokey voice helps, but I'd pick her over Elton any day. Pat http://www.patazzarello.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Johnson Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 I'm dating myself here, but I'd have to include Joni Mitchell and Carol King. (Had a crush on Carol King when I was 14, and it hasn't entirely gone away.) And Joni singing "Blue" or "I Wish I Had a River" at the piano? It may not be sexy, exactly, but you could touch me and I'd crumble. (And no one's going to mention Librace?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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