Heh, asked a grrl out.

[Phait]

That's my term of endearment, GRRLL, because they make you GRRR when they're being stupid. Right?

 

She said no, but I guess waving the gun around didn't work as I expected it to.

 

 

 

 

I asked this Indian girl out today, I'd seen her over a month ago but didn't have any money at the time, but I had my mind on her. I went in got some Mother's Day stuff, and then talked to her, it was like this:

 

me: excuse me, kavina?

kavina: hi

me: hi, i'm justin

kavina: hi nice to meet you

me: i came in here about a month ago and you got me interested, and i'd like to take you out

kavina: what?

me: i'd like to take you out sometime

kavina: well i'm going to be gone for a few months and i don't know when i'll be back (can feel end of convo right there)

me: oh, well here's my number, give me a call when you're back

kavina: i definitely will

 

Now, the paranoid me says "call the store in a month and see if she's working. If she is, she meant "no" and move on!". All I can do is wait around. Do I want to wait a few months for this girl, who may or may not call back? I kind of considered coming back in a few months time, but I wouldn't want to seem pushy.

 

But I went in there without wearing any hat, just was myself - you know, like how god made me in the image of a pretzel stick, that kind of "myself". That's how it's got to be done so I did it.

 

On a funny note I went into the Mexican store for something and man did I feel like an outcast, they're probably like "this is the first white man we've seen set (humongous) foot in our store!"

[PBBPaul]

Whoooo boy...

[Phait]

What, is that good? Bad?

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

You need some help on your technique, bud. It was nice and direct, for which you get points, but "I came in here about a month ago and you got me interested, and I'd like to take you out" is pretty abrupt.

 

Here's an alternate scenario:

 

Phait: Hi... isn't your name Kavina?

Note: You sound less like a psycho stalker if it seems you haven't memorized her name and created a shrine to her existance.

 

Kavina: Yes, I'm Kavina.

 

Phait: Hi, I'm Justin.

 

Kavina: Hi, nice to meet you.

 

Phait: I was in here about a month ago, and I noticed you seemed really nice. [PAUSE]

Note: As opposed to "You got me interested", which most gals will interpret as "You got me interested in laying you."

 

Kavina: Thanks!

 

Phait: I don't know if you're involved with anyone right now, but perhaps I can call you sometime, or we could grab lunch or something.

Note: Now you're non-threatening, and you've given her options.

 

Kavina: Well, I'm going to be gone for a few months...

 

Phait: Oh, that's okay. Maybe when you get back in town, we can hang out sometime.

 

Kavina: Yeah, that sounds cool. Here's my number.

 

And you're in. In, baby! In!

 

- Jeff

[Phait]

Ah but she didn't offer me her number.

 

Thanks JEPH I'LL USE BLACKMAIL NEXT TIME, I mean, African-American male. Mail.

 

[offramp]

See, yer problem is yer going after GRRLS...they have no "I"'s, so they can't see you.

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

Originally posted by Phait:

Ah but she didn't offer me her number.

Ah, but she would have if you were me.

 

- Jeff

[Bunny Knutson]

Originally posted by Phait:

Ah but she didn't offer me her number.

Well, there ya go. Maybe the shaved head scared her a little.

[Phait]

Originally posted by Bunny.:

Originally posted by Phait:

Ah but she didn't offer me her number.

Well, there ya go. Maybe the shaved head scared her a little.

Hooo, harsh. I shall now go peel onions to mask my real tears.

[Tedster]

Here's the deal, Phait, all you have to do is convince the women that you're a gay fitness guru (NTTAWWT). Then they'll all want to go out with you.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Botch.]

Originally posted by Phait:

Do I want to wait a few months for this girl, who may or may not call back? I kind of considered coming back in a few months time, but I wouldn't want to seem pushy.

Time for you to invest in a "Little Black Book". Write down her name, where you met her, circumstances, and approximate time she'll "return".

Then go to other stores and look for more while you're waiting (girls, not black books).

The more possibilities you have in your book, the better.

And take notes from Jeff; I did.

[Phait]

Ted, I tried that and then Wewus called me.

[Phait]

I got a black book but it's telling me I'm a sinner and that Jesus is coming, I'm scared!

[Shars]

Trust Ted to think of that! Typical

[Botch.]

Originally posted by Phait:

Ted, I tried that and then Wewus called me.

[Bunny Knutson]

Originally posted by Phait:

Originally posted by Bunny.:

Originally posted by Phait:

Ah but she didn't offer me her number.

Well, there ya go. Maybe the shaved head scared her a little.

Hooo, harsh. I shall now go peel onions to mask my real tears.

Dude, that wasn't harsh. All I'm sayin' is that the Anton LaVey look is a little creepy. Just grow your hair out and try again.

[fantasticsound]

When you said you asked a "grrl" out, did you mean:

 

http://www.exzooberance.com/virtual%20zoo/they%20walk/black%20bear/Black%20Bear%20485020.jpg

 

or:

 

http://www.islandgazette.net/photo/pictures/images6232004/Page-1B-Island-Girl.jpg

 

????????

 

 

Originally posted by Tedster:

Here's the deal, Phait, all you have to do is convince the women that you're a gay fitness guru (NTTAWWT). Then they'll all want to go out with you.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Close... I work with 6 casts of singers and dancers every 6 months. If you're a male singer or dancer, you're in.

Either you're a hetero hunk and they love you or you're a gay performer and you're completely non-threatening.

 

The straight guys that everyone assumes are gay have an incredible time.

[KenElevenShadows]

Originally posted by Phait:

All I can do is wait around. Do I want to wait a few months for this girl, who may or may not call back? I kind of considered coming back in a few months time, but I wouldn't want to seem pushy.

Why do you have to wait? Meet other people, get out there, don't even dwell on this person. If she calls great; if not, you're gettin' out there. If you really like her, go back to the store in a few months' time and start up another conversation with her. Be real casual, lighten up, use a little humor.

[Dan South]

Recent photo of Kavina:

 

http://www.islandgazette.net/photo/pictures/images6232004/Page-1B-Island-Girl.jpg

 

Recent photo of Phait:

 

http://www.exzooberance.com/virtual%20zoo/they%20walk/black%20bear/Black%20Bear%20485020.jpg

[Dan South]

Originally posted by Ken/Eleven Shadows:

Originally posted by Phait:

All I can do is wait around. Do I want to wait a few months for this girl, who may or may not call back? I kind of considered coming back in a few months time, but I wouldn't want to seem pushy.

Why do you have to wait? Meet other people, get out there, don't even dwell on this person. If she calls great; if not, you're gettin' out there. If you really like her, go back to the store in a few months' time and start up another conversation with her. Be real casual, lighten up, use a little humor.

Yeah, it seems more than a little bizarre that you posted to tell us about some girl that you might possibly go out with in September. If I were a chick, you'd scare the crap out of me.

 

I think that you're going to need to compensate for your anxiousness if you want to be successful. You're going to have to set new records for being gentlemanly and chivalrous. Take women out to dances or receptions or fancy events. Offer to take them shopping. Completely forget about trying to get kissed of laid, etc. and stay the hell away from "your place." Make it your goal to make a woman feel like a lady. When you've accomplished that, she'll open up to the possibility of getting physical with you IF the chemistry is right - there are no guarantees in this game. But if you pursue them with the idea of scoring in your head and you use an approach like you did with Kavina, they're going to run away and hide.

 

Hint # 1 - If she wants to go out with you, she'll give you her number. Period. If she doesn't give you her number, forget her and move on.

 

Hint # 2 - It's a lot easier to hook up with women who know you than women you meet randomly (on the street, in a store, etc.). Get involved in classes, college, community events, a part time job, etc., and meet women that way. Get yourself in a position where you'll see the same women again and again, week after week. Give them a chance to observe you. Over time they may become curious about you and want to get to know you better. For a guy, developing an interest in a woman takes about .42 seconds. For a woman, the same level of interest takes weeks to develop. Ever watch a romantic movie? It takes the main character's the whole length of the movie for the woman to decide that she wants the guy.

 

Women like to take their time when evaluating a man. Running up to some chick that you don't know and telling her that she has you interested goes against the tide of female emotion and will send a red flag to her weirdo defense mechanism. Pursue a woman as though you're planting a garden. Sow the seeds of chance, stop by occasionally to see if they're taking hold, cultivate sparingly, let natural forces work with you, not against you, and don't expect to harvest the goodies by Friday.

[Anifa]

Make it your goal to make a woman feel like a lady. When you've accomplished that, she'll open up to the possibility of getting physical with you IF the chemistry is right - there are no guarantees in this game. But if you pursue them with the idea of scoring in your head and you use an approach like you did with Kavina, they're going to run away and hide.

BINGO!!! That is if a man is seeking a lady.

 

Depends in what a man is looking for in a woman. If he's just looking to find a fast woman or some skanky tramp that will roll in the hay with anyone; those women are certainly out there to be found. Bars are a good place to find tramps willing to put out for the price of a few drinks.

 

If you feel you are above the gutter level and you're seeking a "good woman", then you need to take your time and make her feel secure about your presence.

 

Guys that are super direct in their approach are flattering, but I will usually reject their offers because they are TOO available and leave nothing to explore. But the guy that really gets in a girls' head and stays in a girls' head (at least in my case) is the one that makes some sort of spiritual connection. Eyes that search the soul is a good beginning... If you can get a girl curious as to what the thoughts are behind the eye contact, without opening your mouth and sticking your foot in it, you'll get her interest up. Maybe offer up some subtle conversation a bit at a time while exploring her interests and personality without being pushy will allow her to feel more comfortable around you. DON'T TRY TO KNOW HER LIFE STORY IN A DAY!!! Guys that bombard girls with questions are a complete turn off.

 

 

After you find a girl to be receptive to subtle conversation to where she has began fully engaging in the talks with you, sometimes a simple nudge or contact with her in a respectable way will REALLY get her curiosity up.

 

Once you get inside her head, things will go a lot smoother if you can overcome the fear factor involved in asking her out.

[the stranger]

Wanna get a girl interested? Ignore her and act like you're too good for her. Works everytime.

[the stranger]

Originally posted by Phait:

She said no, but I guess waving the gun around didn't work as I expected it to.

I said that works for getting good performances out of singers, not getting dates!

 

Originally posted by Phait:

"well i'm going to be gone for a few months and i don't know when i'll be back"

I hate to be the one to say it, but that one line sounds like the blow off to me.

I'm no Indian, so maybe not.

 

Hey Phait,

Give me $50 and I'll take you out. No funny stuff, just dinner and a movie.

[KenElevenShadows]

Originally posted by Dan South:

 

Hint # 2 - It's a lot easier to hook up with women who know you than women you meet randomly (on the street, in a store, etc.). Get involved in classes, college, community events, a part time job, etc., and meet women that way. Get yourself in a position where you'll see the same women again and again, week after week. [/QB]

Yes, this way the conversation flows naturally and it increases your odds of finding someone worthwhile. Can't say enough good things about this idea!!

 

That said, you can push things along a little by being genuinely interested in what they have to say, exuding confidence, being funny, and generally standing out from the pack. Show the person that you're fun to be around.

[theblue1]

Chances are if she's Indian and working in the family store there's not a whole lot of chance she could go out with you without some very serious sneaking around.

 

Indian families tend to be very traditional about picking their future inlaws. And an outcaste (that's you, baby) is not going to be, shall we say, high on the list...

 

Still, never say never. Love's a funny thing...

[offramp]

Originally posted by The Stranger:

Originally posted by Phait:

She said no, but I guess waving the gun around didn't work as I expected it to.

I said that works for getting good performances out of singers, not getting dates!

The Stran-ger

Phil Spec-tor

 

Same number of syllables.

Coincidence? I think not.

[Veracohr]

I asked this girl out once, she worked at a pizza joint I went to a lot. She said she was seeing someone, but volunteered her phone number and suggested we could hang out without any such words from me. I called her, and she had this attitude of "What the...you actually called me?"

 

Of course, I'm so shy that when I attempt to ask girls out I get a haze in my eyes and I can barely hear and my mouth runs without me really knowing what it's saying. I might as well have "lack of confidence" stamped on my forehead.

[Phait]

My best friend is dating an Indian, and he is half-white and half-black. So, it's possible, but I have considered the cultural boundaries.

 

I think what I'll do is, if I'm in the store again down the road, and she's there, I'll say hi, but for now I'll just let it be, and if she calls - great. If she doesn't, oh well.

 

I may be going to a little acoustic show in a couple days - theres some opportunity there as well.

 

And regarding the "Anton LaVey" look and growing out my hair, I can't. My head is an accident and until I look into hair transplants I've gotta keep my head a kiwi.

[offramp]

"My head is an accident" would be a good name for a rock album.

Or a sig line.

[henrysb3]

The Blue1 may have the cultural thing right on the button. Go to the video store and check out "Mississippi Marsala".

 

Henry