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I can't wrap! (Don't ask me.)


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Man, my Mother must have heaped a lot of enthusiastic and phony praise back when I was maybe four-years-old at my first and disasterous attempt at gift wrapping. She must have because nealy 50 years later, there's absolutely NO sign of improvement! Thank Christ for gift bags!!

 

But some things still need to be wrapped, and my wife cons her way out by claiming I'm far better at it than she is. Which is a lie, because when we first started living together, I've SEEN her flawless expertise. She just hates doing it. So now, it seems she purposely screws it up worse than MY wrapping(which would also take some talent!)to guilt me into it. Jeez, I get gifts from kids in the family whose ages are still in the single digits that do better than me.

 

Am I alone in this? Are any of you J.C. Penney perfect, or wrap things that wind up looking like a truck ran them over?

 

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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Originally posted by whitefang:

nealy 50 years later, there's absolutely NO sign of improvement! Thank Christ for gift bags!!

Oh, you're preach'n to the choir on that one. Gotta love the guy (and yes, I believe it was a guy) who invented the gift bag!

 

I wrap like a guy too....

I'm also told I throw like a girl, and eat like a slob. Man, I can't do nuthin right...

Super 8

 

Hear my stuff here

 

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I can do box shapes, but anything any more awkward than that and it has to be handed to my girlfriend!

 

Take a mistress that knows how to wrap, that'll stop your missus leaving you to do it :D

Fa Fa FA Fa fa fa fa fa FA fa FA FA
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Originally posted by Super 8:

I'm also told I throw like a girl, and eat like a slob. Man, I can't do nuthin right...
I throw like a girl too, but wrapping is something I've always been really good at.

That probably is something I'll regret posting... :o

Botch

"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will

www.puddlestone.net

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I read this at work this afternoon and if I'd been drinking at the time it'd have ended up all over the computer monitor.

 

As far as my expert wrapping capabilities go... I can wrap like nobody's business. I just cut out squares of paper the size of the sides of the boxes and tape them all together. Its always worked for me.

 

On a similar note, I'm always the one guy who gives you a present where the box is taped together with electrical tape or duct tape so you can't get the freaking box open. It always brings joy to my heart to see family members struggling to rip apart a box filled with tissue paper and air. Then I give them their card with a gift certificate in it since I'm too lazy to shop. :D

What can the harvest hope for if not the care of the reaper man. ~ Terry Pratchett
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Originally posted by Joseph Burrell:

I read this at work this afternoon and if I'd been drinking at the time it'd have ended up all over the computer monitor.

 

On a similar note, I'm always the one guy who gives you a present where the box is taped together with electrical tape or duct tape so you can't get the freaking box open. It always brings joy to my heart to see family members struggling to rip apart a box filled with tissue paper and air. Then I give them their card with a gift certificate in it since I'm too lazy to shop. :D

You're a sick and really mean person, Joseph. Welcome, you're going to fit right in! :D

What job do you have that you could've been drinking while you read this thread? ;) That'd sure make my job run more smooth...

Botch

"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will

www.puddlestone.net

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Originally posted by santabach:

Originally posted by Gus Lozada:

Originally posted by shniggens:

Just use LOTS of tape!! :D

F*ck Tape!

GO DIGITAL!!

 

:D

We've had this discussion before. Analog is better.
Make sure it's an ana-YULE-log!

 

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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You say you can't wrap?

 

Well, Yo, yo,yo,

you just go, go, go

to the sto', sto', sto',

giftwrap counter, bro, bro, bro,

give the lady you dough, dough, dough,

and away you go - free as a bird - word!

 

If your time is worth $5/hour, and you have to wrap 4 gifts, put 'em in the trunk and wait till a day you're near the mall - it'll take an hour if the line is long but not stupid, fifteen minutes if it's short. Most stores don't require that you bought the item there, but some do, so maybe call ahead. For $4-5, you get a professional wrap, very 'chick-friendly' (not mean sexist, means 'your significant other will love it unless she is politically on the other spectrum - hippie remnant or organically-oriented that would view this as selling out or environmentally unfriendly, etc. Those women would just want you to do it yourself-but really try to make it look nice. As mentioned above, they think it's cute. And charming. And when you see it on TV in a sitcom, you probably think it's cute too - though how you as a male respond to 'cute' TV is subject to interpretation and cultural preconditioning. The female response to 'cute' is always one of two bipolar activities. 1) "Awwwwh, isn't that CUTE!" 2) "Yuckk, he's trying to be cute..."

 

But what the hell do I know? I'm just another clueless male...

 

Dasher

Dasher - don't ask me about those other reindeer, all I can tell you is Comet's in the sink!
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Botch, I work for Shell Oil Company in various capacities. Yes, I would like to knock back a few pints every once in a while. Who doesn't? I don't even really need a reason do I?

 

Does that make me an alcoholic? :D

 

Oh, and I never fit in. I'm always the one square peg in a room full of round holes.

What can the harvest hope for if not the care of the reaper man. ~ Terry Pratchett
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Cry me a freakin river!!!

 

I was awake at 6:15 this moring wrapping gifts for today's office Christmas gettogether...... 6:15AM fer keerist sake!! I'm not saying I did that good of a job, but it's done!! Hopefully, the slight imperfections ( slight being a polite description) will be seen as somewhat charming.

 

There's only one lot of gifts that I haven't wrapped and delivered, yet: my Aunt's and Uncle's. Once that is done, I'm simpy left with my girlfriend's - which I will have done at the frelling store. If it comes into the house in an unwrapped state, she'll pick at it. So I need to wrap it before it gets there.

 

Cheers!

Spencer

"I prefer to beat my opponents the old-fashioned way....BRUTALLY!!!!"
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Soundsmith's idea is, well, sound! At a local mall, there IS an area set up by a charitable organization(UF, I think)that'll wrap your stuff for ANY sized donation. Might just load up some bags and boogie on over!

 

Merry Christmas!

 

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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Just don't pay Amazon the extra money for their gift wrap. I thought ordering two CD's with a request of gift wrap would keep my daughter from peeking......... they used a babypoop green gift wrap paper that was just about as ugly as it gets; maybe something that Martha Stewart designed during her prison camp. :D

You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man.

 

Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon

 

Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music"

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