How do you know when you are in love?

[TrancedelicBlues]

There are two women who make my heart quiver these days, and another one whom I once thought was "the one" whom I haven't seen in years but who I still think about at least twice a week...

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What should I do?

[ani]

If you need to ask... it isn't love. Only time will tell the tale so listen to your heart. If you are spending time with more than one girl that makes you quiver, and yet you are still thinking of another; the two making you quiver are simply filling the void for the girl you miss. It's very possible the two girls that make you quiver are merely nothing more than physical attraction. You need to bury the skeletons of the girl in the past, complete closure, prior to attempting to move forward with a full relationship with someone new. When there's more than one.... it's not love that you are feeling.

[Stephen Fortner]

Courtesy of my friend "Stayne" of InnerTube Audio, here's some sage advice.

EDIT: The above link goes to a humorous (in some people's opinion) but rather scatological and tasteless song. Not child-appropriate, and definitely don't listen to it at work.

[YourMotherShouldKnow]

Hey Trans,

 

Is it realistic that the you and the girl you think about twice a week can be together? Any difficulties like a husband or family in the way?

 

My guess is that there's a reason you two haven't seen each other in years but that's just a guess. What's the Sit-ee-a-tion?

 

And, of course, best of luck.

[Super 8]

Doesn't sound like LOVE to me. Sounds like infatuation.

But there's nothing wrong with that.

What should you do? Try dating. Form a relationship. See what happens.

 

Regarding the girl from the past;

Yeah, I got one of those. I haven't seen her in probably 15 years. We dated on and off during our teen years. She was a lot of fun, and very sexy. I don't think of her every week, but she does cross my mind, and I miss her. But it's not love I'm feeling. It's the fact that we never really OFFICIALLY ended our romantic relationship. It's the feeling of unfinished business. I know this because there isn't a girl from my past that I would want back -even the one's who dumped me, and it's because the relationship was ended....that never happened with this other girl.

 

But I can't mistake that for real love. It's infatuation.

 

So, I think you should move on. Do some dating. Go out with those girls that you like. Date a few more. In time, something will click, you'll both fall in love and get married.....and then the journey REALLY begins. TRUST ME...

 

There it is....hopfully you can draw something meaningful from that.

 

Originally posted by Stephen Fortner:

Courtesy of my friend "Stayne" of InnerTube Audio, here's some sage advice.

Actually, I guess I've never really been in love.

Wait...do golden showers count????

[Duddits]

Originally posted by Stephen Fortner:

Courtesy of my friend "Stayne" of InnerTube Audio, here's some sage advice.

 

--------------------

DISCLAIMER: The opinions I express here are my own. They are not intended to reflect the opinions, policy, or official position of any publication, manufacturer, public or private educational institution, or other organization with which I may be associated.

I know I may just be a cat, but now I'm really confused.

 

On one paw, the opinions you express are expressly your own, not intended to reflect the opinions, policy, or official position of any publication, manufacturer, public or private educational institution, or other organization with which you may be associated.

 

On the other paw, you are directing us to opinions expressed by your friend "Stayne," which are not neccessarily your own.

 

I fear that you are opening yourself up to multiple lawsuits with this apparent dichotomy, not only from "Stayne," but also from the various state and federal agencies that closely monitor our communications in this forum.

 

Perhaps if you added an additional caveat to your disclaimer -- something along the lines of "Please know that any and all opinions expressed by Stayne coincide in their entirety with any and all opinions I might otherwise express, have expressed, or will express" you might nip this little problem in the bud and ward off any potential lawsuits down the road.

 

Just a heads-up among friends -- hope it's helpful.

 

Meow.

[Slowly]

You won't know you are in love until she's gone down the road. Kcbass

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Stephen Fortner:

Courtesy of my friend "Stayne" of InnerTube Audio, here's some sage advice.

Using that definition...I've never been in love.

[TrancedelicBlues]

Originally posted by LanceMo:

Hey Trans,

 

Is it realistic that the you and the girl you think about twice a week can be together? Any difficulties like a husband or family in the way?

 

My guess is that there's a reason you two haven't seen each other in years but that's just a guess. What's the Sit-ee-a-tion?

 

And, of course, best of luck.

Thanks.

 

Not realistic, no

 

It's like when somebody parks their car in your driveway so you can't use it, but you can't seem to get it towed

[TrancedelicBlues]

Originally posted by Ani:

[QBWhen there's more than one.... it's not love that you are feeling.[/QB]

can't we all be water brothers?

[TrancedelicBlues]

Originally posted by Kcbass:

You won't know you are in love until she's gone down the road. Kcbass

well, that's a big help

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probably the truth though

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

What is love, anyway? - Howard Jones

 

Yeah, it's hard to separate those intertwined emotions. Infatuation, caring, lust, affection, friendship, devotion, passion. All different things that are generally misinterpreted for love on their own, although most of them are found together within love.

 

The real question: is "true" love permanent? Can love change and still remain love?

 

I have no answers. Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

- Jeff

[ani]

It's like when somebody parks their car in your driveway so you can't use it, but you can't seem to get it towed

That's when you put the car in neutral and push it down the road and over the cliff.

 

Kick out the jambs dude. When you lose someone that you TRULY love, such as a Parent or a Brother or Sister, then you will realize that love takes TWO!!! I don't hang on love gone bad situations and I don't waste time on wishy-washy and unstable emotions being emitted by a man courting me. Either a person wants to be with me or they don't. If they don't ... to hell with them; there are plenty of fish in the sea who will appreciate the things I do and the time I spend with them.

 

If a person wants to be with you there will be a constant pull TOGETHER to overcome the obstacles and you will KNOW that they are putting as much effort into the relationship as what you are. If they are not doing that, and especially if they have moved away from the immediate picture... THEN BURY THE BONES and move on!

 

There are a lot of people out there that want the attention, but they don't want the commitment. They feed you just enough to keep you hanging on, but they won't allow you to indulge in the main entree....

[Blue Strat]

Forget about love.

[TrancedelicBlues]

Originally posted by Jeff Da Weasel:

 

I have no answers. Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

- Jeff[/QB]

*affects "Mr Rogers" voice*

 

Why is da weasel afraid to share hi swisdom, boys and girls??

 

[Bbach1]

Holy crap. There isn't one freakin expert in this world on love. You may have it and you may not. You may realize it and you may not. It's over our head folks. Get a grip. If you think it's love - go for it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, who gives a sh** if you blow it, just go for it. If there are three of them and you wonder if it's love, go for em all. Don't wait, don't hesitate, go for it. When you are dyin of old age, its aint gonna be the one you tried that didn't work that bother you.

[whitefang]

TransedelicBlues...now THERE'S a style of music I could REALLY get into!

 

But to the point...sure, there really aren't any experts on the subject. But others can give some points of guidance. For example; does she do a lot of little things that would piss you off royally if done by someone else, but not by her? Does talking to her for an hour only seem like two minutes, but being away from her for two minutes seem like an hour? Is the first thing about her that comes to your mind her voice? Her face? Or her body? Is making her happy more important than her making YOU happy? Does doing mushy and sloppy sentimental things for and with her NOT make you feel embarrassed?

 

You might be in love...

 

Oh, and Super8, remember Bernstein's line in "Citizen Kane" about a woman he saw on a ferry 50 years earlier..."I only saw her for a second. She didn't see me at all. But I bet a day hasn't gone by in all that time when I didn't think of that girl."

 

On a lighter note...

 

A man was talking to his Mother one day. He said,"Mother, I want to get married, but I don't know to whom. There's three girls I'm very fond of, but how do I know which one I should wed?" His mother told him, "Well, you're very well off finacially. Give each one of them $10,000, and see what they do with it."

 

So the man gives each girl the money. The first girl takes the 10 grand and goes on a shopping spree, buying all the best designer frills the money can buy. The second girl calls a travel agent, and spends the money on a romantic cruise and vacation for the two of them. The third girl finds ways of investing the money so it will grow and be entered into a huge savings account. After this was all done, the man goes back to his mother and tells her what the girls did with the loot. When he was done, his mother smugly grinned and asked, "So, NOW which girl have you decided to marry?" And her son answered...

 

"The one with the big tits!"

 

Whitefang

[Bbach1]

Originally posted by whitefang:

TransedelicBlues...now THERE'S a style of music I could REALLY get into!

 

But to the point...sure, there really aren't any experts on the subject. But others can give some points of guidance. For example; does she do a lot of little things that would piss you off royally if done by someone else, but not by her? Does talking to her for an hour only seem like two minutes, but being away from her for two minutes seem like an hour? Is the first thing about her that comes to your mind her voice? Her face? Or her body? Is making her happy more important than her making YOU happy? Does doing mushy and sloppy sentimental things for and with her NOT make you feel embarrassed?

 

You might be in love...

 

Oh, and Super8, remember Bernstein's line in "Citizen Kane" about a woman he saw on a ferry 50 years earlier..."I only saw her for a second. She didn't see me at all. But I bet a day hasn't gone by in all that time when I didn't think of that girl."

 

On a lighter note...

 

A man was talking to his Mother one day. He said,"Mother, I want to get married, but I don't know to whom. There's three girls I'm very fond of, but how do I know which one I should wed?" His mother told him, "Well, you're very well off finacially. Give each one of them $10,000, and see what they do with it."

 

So the man gives each girl the money. The first girl takes the 10 grand and goes on a shopping spree, buying all the best designer frills the money can buy. The second girl calls a travel agent, and spends the money on a romantic cruise and vacation for the two of them. The third girl finds ways of investing the money so it will grow and be entered into a huge savings account. After this was all done, the man goes back to his mother and tells her what the girls did with the loot. When he was done, his mother smugly grinned and asked, "So, NOW which girl have you decided to marry?" And her son answered...

 

"The one with the big tits!"

 

Whitefang

Now there's a story that defines a man!

[deanmass]

Which one do you talk to after sex?

 

She is the one...

[Dan South]

Love doesn't make your heart quiver; infatuation does.

 

Love has a radically different effect. It makes your heart feel calm and safe and warm and comfortable. Imagine the way your body feels when you are wearing exactly the right clothes for the weather and the occasion. That's how your heart feels when you're in love.

[Mark LaCoste]

I will agree with Dan South. Oh, I should introduce myself; I'm Mark, the domesticated, heterosexual, male. Don't ask me about "being in love". It's an illusive thing, and I barely remember it... I was never any good at dating and stuff. Oh hell, if you wanna be "in love", just follow your heart or another organ, and damn the torpedoes. When you actually committ to someone, though, it's going to be a long path, and there will be no magic, no hormone, to make it work long-term. It will be just you, making the decision to stay with it or not. And it won't always be great, but if you can stick with it and not flake out it will become more valuable over time.

 

My own relationship is an example. I might have been happier if I'd found a musician girl. Lots of girls might have been more fun than the one I married. I could have jumped ship a few times, but didn't. I know that things could have been different in a hundred ways, but now, looking back on it, I know I did the right thing, and my wife and I have something that is really strong. It's where I want to be.

 

To do a long term relationship you need committment and integrity. No magic "love thing" will make those things happen in you.

 

That's too many words to express something that's dead simple. "Good luck" may have been better.

[Geoff Grace]

I have a complex, but simple answer to this question. I believe that there are as many kinds of love in the world as there are people. That's the complicated part. Here's the simple part:

 

When you love, you just plain know it. You know it with the certainty that you know whether it's day or night. It just is.

 

 

I've been very lucky in love. It's as if the woman I married and I were made for each other. She's like me enough to "get me" in all the important ways, but she's different enough from me to light a path where I see darkness. With her, I have the comfort and security that Dan described so well; but I also have the spark. When she flashes a smile at me, sometimes you could knock me over with a feather! When I hear her singing from across the house, it's the most beautiful sound in the world!

 

We both knew very quickly that we had met "the one;" and over fifteen years later, it's even more obvious! I wasn't sure how much of this I should share because I don't want to seem boastful; but I did want to give a personal example or two of how powerful love can be. Trust me, you'll know it when you feel it!

 

Best,

 

Geoff

[Programgirl]

It took me years but I finally figured out how to tell when I'm in love. After I've been around a guy for a while, I picture the two of us being old together. If it makes me giddy, I'm in love. If I get depressed about it, I cut him loose right away. So far I've only met one that fits the first description, and I'm not going to ever let him out of my basement.

 

Spend some time with each of these gals, see which one fits in your imagination most naturally.

[Duddits]

This is the test that I am currently applying:

 

If they don't like your cat, and you don't mind, it's love.

[TrancedelicBlues]

Originally posted by Duddits:

This is the test that I am currently applying:

 

If they don't like your cat, and you don't mind, it's love.

You have a cat, Duddits??

 

That's just...weird

[Bbach1]

Originally posted by Duddits:

This is the test that I am currently applying:

 

If they don't like your cat, and you don't mind, it's love.

I just have to inject some good old male attitud e into this love discussion. Come one. If you're a guy, you don't have your heart flutter. You get horney. After you get laid, then you go have a beer. Heart flutter - no, horney - yes.

[Blue Strat]

Speaking of horny, I love the new avatar cwfno.

[Duddits]

Originally posted by TrancedelicBlues:

Originally posted by Duddits:

This is the test that I am currently applying:

 

If they don't like your cat, and you don't mind, it's love.

You have a cat, Duddits??

 

That's just...weird

Why? Don't some of you keep humans around?

 

[Darklava]

When I can't think about nothing but my Les Paul.