strange gigs

[wmp]

I looked for a thread like this and didn't find one that seemed quite right for the true story I heard yesterday.

 

The client wanted two kinds of music and two kinds of music only. Sinatra tunes and polkas. Nothing but. All night long. They played every polka and Sinatra tune they knew. The guests loved it. They were having such a great time that Nat thought he could slip in something similar and get away with it. Nope. The lady in charge walked up to the stage to issue orders. Nat smiled, stopped the band, apologized to all for his absentmindedness, and promised nothing but polkas and Sinatra tunes. They played Sinatra tunes as polkas, polka tunes like Sinatra, and a good time was had by all.

 

[Sam Mullins]

And did they do any polka versions of Sinatra tunes?

 

Should have read this closer...sorry about that.

[wmp]

That's what they did. I have the whole story recorded and permission to use his name. It's another book I'm writing. I'm not actually writing it myself. I'm just triing to preserve some of it to warn future generations.

[Rockhouse]

We had a club owner with cocaine visibly falling from his nostrils pull a machine gun on us.

 

Luckily, we were only the supporting act, so the gun was not directed at us so much . . .

 

The main act, at gunpoint, pretended to keep loading in the equipment long enough for one of them to go into the basement and cut the power to the building with some bolt cutters.

 

There was some yelling, some handywork done with a mic-stand to disarm the owner, breaking his wrists in the process.

 

We were back on the road before the ambulance arrived.

 

And now we know why the main act kept night-vision goggles around.

 

Scary shit.

[JohnH]

Wow Rockhouse!!!

[wmp]

We had a club owner with cocaine visibly falling from his nostrils pull a machine gun on us.

Reminds me of a bar owner I used to know. He only had semi automatic weapons, though. He wasn't crazy in a bad way too often. He was happy the only time I saw him fire. Just a few rounds up through his own roof. I had time to get my fingers in my ears.

 

Scary shit.

A little. I'm sure that owner is a very nice guy when he's in a good mood. All coked out and ticked off is never good. I'll bet that weapon wasn't fully automatic. He didn't shoot anybody. The boys in the other band were awfully mean to him. I hate too see misunderstandings get out of hand. I'll bet that venue is closed now. At the very least, its reputation has been tarnished.

 

... the main act kept night-vision goggles around.

More GAS. It's amazing how much gear it takes to be prepared for any gig. Any of you guys using drones yet?

 

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who lives well outside of Mayberry.

 

[marino]

Strange gigs, I've had a few. I can't top Rockhouse's story, but here's one:

 

Back in my days, in Italy you had to serve one year in the army. I managed to do most of my service playing organ and arranging for an army band. (they even bought an Hammond for me!) Unfortunately, that happened to be the year of the 200th anniversary of that particular corp, so the band was involved in the big celebrations. The "high point" of the celebs went like this: 3000 soldiers placed as the audience to the sides of the huge forecourt. An empty stage in the middle. A TANK starts moving forward from one side ot the square toward the stage. The tank has been modified with extra supports on the outside to hold some of the musicians, who are playing as the tank is moving: a drummer, a tenor sax player, and a trumpet player. Plus, a trombone player is protruding out of the tank's turret, playing as well!

And that's just the beginning. As the tank approaches the stage, its big rear door opens, and the guitarist, bassist (with their instruments in hand, gun-style) and myself get out of the vehicle and run to the stage, followed by the brass players and the drummer; the whole thing is coreographed to simulate an attack or a manouvre on the battlefield.

We quickly reach our instruments (my organ ready to play on the stage) and start the concert. It was the most crazy, embarassing, and goofy thing I have ever done in my life, musical or otherwise.

 

Side note: That band was awfully good. Every member has become a very accomplished musician in his field of choice.

 

 

 

[wmp]

What's so strange about that?

 

I'd love to see some footage of that. I've played places with tanks, but never with a tank. So the tank was trombone, guitars were infantry, ... What was the B3's role in battle?

 

 

[Steve Force]

Strange gigs, I've had a few. I can't top Rockhouse's story, but here's one:

 

Back in my days, in Italy you had to serve one year in the army. I managed to do most of my service playing organ and arranging for an army band. (they even bought an Hammond for me!) Unfortunately, that happened to be the year of the 200th anniversary of that particular corp, so the band was involved in the big celebrations. The "high point" of the celebs went like this: 3000 soldiers placed as the audience to the sides of the huge forecourt. An empty stage in the middle. A TANK starts moving forward from one side ot the square toward the stage. The tank has been modified with extra supports on the outside to hold some of the musicians, who are playing as the tank is moving: a drummer, a tenor sax player, and a trumpet player. Plus, a trombone player is protruding out of the tank's turret, playing as well!

And that's just the beginning. As the tank approaches the stage, its big rear door opens, and the guitarist, bassist (with their instruments in hand, gun-style) and myself get out of the vehicle and run to the stage, followed by the brass players and the drummer; the whole thing is coreographed to simulate an attack or a manouvre on the battlefield.

We quickly reach our instruments (my organ ready to play on the stage) and start the concert. It was the most crazy, embarassing, and goofy thing I have ever done in my life, musical or otherwise.

 

 

[MuzikTeechur]

As I mentioned in another thread, many years ago I played sax in an organ trio. We played for a supermarket grand opening. They set us up in the produce section. Somewhere there is a picture of me playing sax with a huge "FRUIT STAND" sign above my head.

Oh, the indignity of it all.

[resigned]

I don't know about strange but some of the worst moments in my career involved boats. I used to play on gambling cruises out of Savannah, Georgia where the patrons were taken 20 miles offshore to get away from landside gambling restrictions. My job was to play dinner music during the buffet while the boat went out to sea and dance music as it returned - the times that the casinos were closed. The cruises were 8 hours (5pm-1am) so I had a long 4+ hour break between sets. Sometimes the water didn't cooperate and my speakers on their stands would tip over. Sometimes the boat generators would malfunction and my gear would brown out. The pay was good (until I got stiffed and quit) but the gig was always long, miserable and dangerous to my gear.

 

Speaking of which, the worst part was going back to dock to find that the tide had changed and the dock was now two stories or more higher than when we left. The crew would split as soon as they could so there was no one to help me get my gear up the slippery and steep ramps. This was in the days when I had everything rack-mounted and keyboards in flight cases... I am lucky nothing ended up in the water, but many times it was close. Word to the wise about boat gigs.

[DanL]

RE: the polka thing- we have a somewhat regular gig at a 55+ golf/retirement community. Strange, but they love us. We played a dance there recently, and I got an email from someone asking if we played any foxtrots, latin, or waltzes. I didn't know who it was, figured it was a resident. I said we don't, but I'd be happy to play it as break music if he could bring the songs and something to play it on.

 

At the gig, I find out not only is the guy not a resident, but he's a local pain in the ass that the staff has to deal with at any of their events that are open to the public. He had cancelled his reservation when he found out we didn't play what he wanted.

 

Coked up owners- one time. Newer beach venue. We played, had a great crowd and fantastic night. As we're (trying) to load out, the guy has his bouncers purposely standing in the way, with the whole indimidating arms crossed thing. Just being assholes. It took us til 3am to get payed as he counted out each bill one by one with his gun sitting on his desk. Never went back there...

 

Another good one. Biker bar that was frequented by the local 1% biker gang. The normal doorman wasn't there, and the guy taking his place took his job a little too seriously. He refused to let our guitar player in without paying the cover. Then he gave some of the 1% gang a hard time. He left his post and went to the bathroom, the smallest biker follows him. Beats the crap out of him in the bathroom, then comes up and asks if he can sing a song. We're about to do Whipping Post. At this point, we're thinking we better let him. He comes up and totally rips it!

[Rockhouse]

Another good one. Biker bar that was frequented by the local 1% biker gang. The normal doorman wasn't there, and the guy taking his place took his job a little too seriously. He refused to let our guitar player in without paying the cover. Then he gave some of the 1% gang a hard time. He left his post and went to the bathroom, the smallest biker follows him. Beats the crap out of him in the bathroom, then comes up and asks if he can sing a song. We're about to do Whipping Post. At this point, we're thinking we better let him. He comes up and totally rips it!

 

That's a beautiful thing.

[Jazz+]

I was hired to play my digital piano outside the window of a cottage in the country where a couple was on their honeymoon. I had to be set up on the grass at 9 am so that when they raised their curtain I would start playing for just the two of them inside while they ate breakfast.

[Joe Muscara]

I was hired to play my digital piano outside the window of a cottage in the country where a couple was on their honeymoon. I had to be set up on the grass at 9 am so that when they raised their curtain I would start playing for just the two of them inside while they ate breakfast.

Did both of them know, or was he surprising her or vice versa?

[tarkus]

Strange gigs, I've had a few. I can't top Rockhouse's story, but here's one:

 

Back in my days, in Italy you had to serve one year in the army. I managed to do most of my service playing organ and arranging for an army band. (they even bought an Hammond for me!) Unfortunately, that happened to be the year of the 200th anniversary of that particular corp, so the band was involved in the big celebrations. The "high point" of the celebs went like this: 3000 soldiers placed as the audience to the sides of the huge forecourt. An empty stage in the middle. A TANK starts moving forward from one side ot the square toward the stage. The tank has been modified with extra supports on the outside to hold some of the musicians, who are playing as the tank is moving: a drummer, a tenor sax player, and a trumpet player. Plus, a trombone player is protruding out of the tank's turret, playing as well!

And that's just the beginning. As the tank approaches the stage, its big rear door opens, and the guitarist, bassist (with their instruments in hand, gun-style) and myself get out of the vehicle and run to the stage, followed by the brass players and the drummer; the whole thing is coreographed to simulate an attack or a manouvre on the battlefield.

We quickly reach our instruments (my organ ready to play on the stage) and start the concert. It was the most crazy, embarassing, and goofy thing I have ever done in my life, musical or otherwise.

 

Side note: That band was awfully good. Every member has become a very accomplished musician in his field of choice.

 

 

I've seen worse Super Bowl Halftime Shows

[tarkus]

I was hired to play my digital piano outside the window of a cottage in the country where a couple was on their honeymoon. I had to be set up on the grass at 9 am so that when they raised their curtain I would start playing for just the two of them inside while they ate breakfast.

Did Ron Burgundy hire you for this gig?

 

Should have played a saxophone solo or vintage seventies-porno wah-clav

 

Bonk-chicka-bonk-bow

[tarkus]

My strange gig: they were all strange. I preferred it that way.

I did provide "atmosphere" for a small art gallery displaying the most awful amateur art.

I really wanted to hide at that gig...

[marino]

I've seen worse Super Bowl Halftime Shows

I *have* played for the Super Bowl All Stars on tour in Europe... it was another rather crazy gig.

A sax/keyboard duo. Big indoor stadium. I brought a Roland digital piano and a little drum machine. No amp, as I was assured that we would have had excellent amplification...

And we had. They hooked my keyboard and drum machine, plus a mike for the sax, directly into the stadium P.A., and no monitors for us!

Now, the closest speaker was about 50 meters away, so I could hear my piano and the drum machine with a *huge* delay, maybe one second.... but what was absolutely insane is that I was hearing the sax in real time, as he was playing 2 meters away from me! Add a huge echo created by the building, and you are straight in the middle of a nightmare.

To play with some kind of rhythm or timing was a total impossibility. So I switched off the drum machine, and we only played very slow, rubato stuff. It was awful.

 

 

[tarkus]

Like a cocktail lounge doing an Ives Collision

 

you should have recorded that!

[wmp]

 

I was hired to play my digital piano outside the window of a cottage in the country where a couple was on their honeymoon. I had to be set up on the grass at 9 am so that when they raised their curtain I would start playing for just the two of them inside while they ate breakfast.

What did you play? Were they nekkid? Was it raining? Tell me they weren't in twin bathtubs like those creepy See Alice commercials. ::

 

I've been trying to find some footage of the Clinton Library dedication. It was a rainy day. The clip I want is of a men's choir. They were singing in the rain in tuxes accompanied by a sad looking wet man playing a PC88. I felt his pain. The next cut in the live broadcast was a shot of Bill and George W enjoying the show from indoors. They seemed to be enjoying his pain.

 

Others watching the same broadcast might have seen it differently.

 

... the smallest biker follows him. Beats the crap out of him in the bathroom, then comes up and asks if he can sing a song. We're about to do Whipping Post. At this point, we're thinking we better let him. He comes up and totally rips it!

The band had already started the set. I found some biker playing the B3 when I got there. If you want to play Hammond, give me the keys to your bike. He did. I took a ride. He played the set. A good time was had by all.