OT: not a good idea to call your boss an idiot

[Big Red 67]

Oh yeah, Favorite response. You can not pay me enough to make abuse worth it.

[miroslav]

Originally posted by mdrs:

[QB] Gruupi.....I agree with Miro and your sentiments, that it's never good to lose your cool. I really hate to do so myself.

 

But, I'm the one who NEVER loses his cool, and always says the diplomatic thing just about 100% of the time, when in a difficult spot at work or in a public forum.

 

Then I get home, and I'm really pissed off at myself because I SHOULD HAVE CHOKED THE $HIT OUT THE $SSHOLE!!

Don't get me wrong....when I say diplomatic, I don't mean reserved and quiet.

Oh no...you get in his face and let him have it, but you stay a cut above his manners...that way he always looks like the one that lost his cool.

You CAN cut someone down to size without resorting to 4-letter words and shouts.

 

Oh...you better have a good story for the unemployment office...because when you get fired...they tend NOT to offer benefits, as I know of a couple of people that had that happen to them.

You need to prove that his firing you was unreasonable...which is kinda' tough after the "you're a f@#king idiot" line...if you know what I mean.

But if you can get any coworkers to supply some factual support that he was the "aggressor"...you may be able to persuade them.

[Shoes]

Shit man... I'm sorry that you got canned for calling him a "f$%&ing idiot" because he and his wife seemed like they were being perfict "f$%&ing idiots".

 

I know what that's like and have been run over a few times. A few times too many perhaps.

 

Last year I had a meeting with the manager of the department prior to a full staff meeting where he failed to promote me to a position several commitees suggested I be moved to. He just handed the position to somebody at that level who was suffering from thinning responsabilities. He knew nothing of my job and expected me to explain to him what he needed to supervise me in. It never happened and he never once asked me a thing.

 

I just laughed and told him it was better to tell me in his office than to have a chair tossed at his f$%&ing head infront of the entire staff.

I smiled and calmly walked out.

 

I'm still here. I should likely quit, the guy they gave my job to quit a couple month later!

 

I admire what you did in the face of that crap and my guess is that you won't be out of work long

[MILLO]

Your ex-boss is a f@#king idiot, his wife is a f@#king idiot, and most likely they're raising a little f@#king idiot.

 

So, had I been you, I'd have taken that "you're fired!" as a license to politely tell him to shove his sports car up his ass, the computer up his wife's and the printer up his son's.

 

Who did they think you are? Their son's nanny? EVEN I GOT PISSED, DAMN IT!

 

Now, seriously... Sorry about the job. But yeah, maybe you lost a job, but hopefully you'll be more relaxed w/ the next job you get. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

[Guitar55]

Gruupi,

 

1. You are better off out of there.

 

2. Definitely apply for unemployment benefits. As Neil stated, it's YOUR money.

 

3. When you apply for a new job DO NOT explain what happened. If you have to say anything, just tell them that you and the boss didn't see eye-to-eye. DO NOT put him down to any potential employer.

 

4. Forget the whole incident and move on.

 

5. Check out the NBC sitcom "The Office" on Thursday nights. You'll laugh your ass off and probably recognize a few characters.

 

Good luck,

Dennis

[bernie sawford]

I have worked for some real assxxles in the past, false promises, pay rise next year, working over the hours for free and all that stuff!

I have come to the conclusion that the only good boss with your interests at heart is YOU, can you set up a small business for your self? I went self employed 10 years ago and nobody can sack me.

Good luck for the future.

[miroslav]

I'm a bit concerned as to how many people here are saying that Gruppi is better off for calling his boss a f@#king idiot and getting fired...???

 

Hey...how many of you really did that when you wanted to...???

 

Oh...that's what I thought...

very, very, very few...as there are certain "realities of life" that always stop us dead in our tracks when we want to let go at someone...especially at "the hand that feeds you".

 

You know...if you are working in a shit job where the boss treats you like shit...

...then thing to do is find a better job as soon as you come to the realization that things ain't gonna ever get better there.

But to slog on for a bunch of years, all the time biting your tongue and holding your breath until one day you finally explode...

...and then afterwards thinking "I did the right thing".

Well...did you really "do the right thing"

...or was the right thing to just move on a long time ago?

 

Let's not all be armchair rebels here, as I know most of us put up with a LOT of shit because of a paycheck.

 

If you hate your job...you move on to a better one.

If you can't find a better one...well then...there you have it.

[S. Yeti Bigfoot, Esq.]

Originally posted by miroslav:

I'm a bit concerned as to how many people here are saying that Gruppi is better off for calling his boss a f@#king idiot and getting fired...???

 

Hey...how many of you really did that when you wanted to...???

 

Oh...that's what I thought...

very, very, very few...as there are certain "realities of life" that always stop us dead in our tracks when we want to let go at someone...especially at "the hand that feeds you".

 

You know...if you are working in a shit job where the boss treats you like shit...

...then thing to do is find a better job as soon as you come to the realization that things ain't gonna ever get better there.

But to slog on for a bunch of years, all the time biting your tongue and holding your breath until one day you finally explode...

...and then afterwards thinking "I did the right thing".

Well...did you really "do the right thing"

...or was the right thing to just move on a long time ago?

 

Let's not all be armchair rebels here, as I know most of us put up with a LOT of shit because of a paycheck.

 

If you hate your job...you move on to a better one.

If you can't find a better one...well then...there you have it.

I don't think anybody is really saying that calling his boss a "F$@king idiot" was the best choice of words. What they are saying is that what he did was understandable under the circumstances. It's done now and can't be undone...he's fired and he's not likely to be "unfired".

 

We are trying to support our friend. Telling him what a mistake he made isn't going to help a damned thing. He's not stupid, he knows his choice of words was a mistake. he doesn't need lectures from you or us or anyone else. Neither do we.

 

The chances are good, in fact, that he will be much happier at the next job he takes and his stress level will be much lower. Fortunately, people that are weak-minded enough to have a propensity to verbally abuse their employees are the minority.

 

What's done is done. Now the thing to do is to look at what you're going to do next.

 

And...you are dead wrong about one thing...I'm sure some of us have said exactly what we were thinking to our bosses. I know I have. I said worse than that to one manager I had...and I still have the job. That manager doesn't. That was 12 years ago. Diplomacy is one thing and is almost always called for. However, there are limits. Excercising restraint and diplomacy are one thing...allowing someone to walk on you is quite another.

[The Big G]

Sas so spot on its like I wrote it

Yip all we can do is offer support.

G

[Pappy P]

The only thing I am really concerned about...

 

How will Gruupi explain how he left his last job when he goes to interview for a new job.

 

I know the mortgage world is a small world and stuff like that will haunt you for years to come.

 

In my imagination the Archectural community is even smaller. With any luck, your next employer will know that the guy who fired you was a lunatic.

 

I do think your confidence is a good sign though Gruupi. Best of luck man.

[punkndisorderly]

Getting canned is never a pleasant experience, but can be a positive experience. I've had several jobs where I had to put up with abusive bosses that you had to walk on eggshells whenever they got in one of their moods. When I was driving trucks for a living, there were several times when my dispatchers were very, very lucky they were 1,000 miles away.

 

More than once, I've had a boss get in my face and try to take out their frustrations on me. I told them, "When I was in the Army, I had to take abuse or go to jail. I don't, and won't take that from you. I'm damn good at what I do, that's why you hired me. You need me a lot more than I need this job."

 

Life is too short to work for people who don't respect you, and you can't respect. If your boss is a jerk, likely all his competitors know he's a jerk. This is especially true in tight knit fields like architecture. The fact that you put up with him for 6 years will probably endeer you to them more than anything else. Besides, if you were a bad employee, he wouldn't have kept you around for that long.

[Pappy P]

Punkddisorderly Said:

 

Life is too short to work for people who don't respect you, and you can't respect. If your boss is a jerk, likely all his competitors know he's a jerk. This is especially true in tight knit fields like architecture. The fact that you put up with him for 6 years will probably endeer you to them more than anything else. Besides, if you were a bad employee, he wouldn't have kept you around for that long.

__________________________________________________

 

+1

 

 

Well said

[Tedster]

Gruupi...

 

You did the right thing. Yeah, it cost you your job, but your boss needed to hear that he's a f@#king idiot. 'Cuz he IS a f@#king idiot. You might not be able to take it to the bank, but, you're a hero to your co-workers.

 

You'll get a better job. No one needs to put up with abuse from either bosses or coworkers.

 

You've got balls. Good for you.

 

I just told my boss' boss off the other day. I didn't call him an idiot, but I told him firmly that we, the forecast staff, would not accept being expected to work with inferior tools, and that we wanted a nearly-unworkable software bug fixed IMMEDIATELY.

 

BOSS (smiling): "We'll have it fixed in a couple of weeks"

 

ME (Not smiling): "You'll have it fixed in a couple of DAYS! It's already been almost a month, and we can't work with this crap."

 

BOSS (uncomfortable): "A couple of days then".

 

It was fixed the next morning.

[huafist]

Good Lord.

I can't think of any amount of money that would be worth that. I would've probably punched him in the taint and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

[fantasticsound]

And you'd be in jail without a job, huafist. Not a good idea and counterproductive for you. Is a moment of immediate gratification worth jail, court, immense costs on top of losing your source of income? Calm down, man.

 

One other thing about unemployment, Gruppi. It's based on your earnings for the previous three quarters. The time to apply is not 3 or 6 months from now if you have more difficulty landing a job then you thought you would.

 

Plus, you should start looking for a job now. Put in a reasonable amount of time to search and you will cover your legal obligation to the unemployment office, but more importantly you'll be keeping a "finger on the pulse" of opportunities in your field. Waiting 3 or 6 months before beginnning any search for a job could mean missing out on the opportunity you're searching for.

[huafist]

Originally posted by fantasticsound:

[QB] And you'd be in jail without a job, huafist. Not a good idea and counterproductive for you. Is a moment of immediate gratification worth jail, court, immense costs on top of losing your source of income? Calm down, man.

 

Yeah. I never said it was smart or the proper thing to do. I just have real issues with people yelling at me, especially for no real reason. On top of that, I don't suffer stupid people well. You're right, I'd probably be in jail & unemployed.

[Pappy P]

What Neil Said:

 

Plus, you should start looking for a job now. Put in a reasonable amount of time to search and you will cover your legal obligation to the unemployment office, but more importantly you'll be keeping a "finger on the pulse" of opportunities in your field. Waiting 3 or 6 months before beginnning any search for a job could mean missing out on the opportunity you're searching for.

 

+1

[fantasticsound]

 

I had a run in with our senior producer several months ago. For some reason he and others felt my assisting our CFO/creative director was sucking up. I don't know what I would have been sucking up for. There's no real position for me to move to inside this company and no benefit. He also thought my asking the CFO a question was intended to do an end run around his authority. I had no idea I was making an end run. I had a question and I asked the person I thought had the answer. (It's a small company.)

 

Anyway, he got upset and accused me of subverting people's (not just his) authority. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about and eventually managed to explain why I did what I did. He cooled off quickly before I sent the email I'd been writing to ask my bosses where I stood in the company. The whole thing, thankfully, blew over, but it was a wakeup call that people will make up all kinds of scenarios in their minds to explain what they see.

 

Heed the advice sung by Marvin Gaye..

 

"Believe half of what you see.. and none of what you hear."

 

(BTW - This producer is a nice enough guy. Not the bastard Gruppi described in his own situation.)

 

I stand up, but I've gotten a lot better at doing it calmly over the years.

[miroslav]

Originally posted by Sasquatch51:

We are trying to support our friend. Telling him what a mistake he made isn't going to help a damned thing. He's not stupid, he knows his choice of words was a mistake. he doesn't need lectures from you or us or anyone else. Neither do we.

I supported him in the posts I made, and I said that I can understand how sometimes you can be pushed to your limits.

 

What I'm getting at now, is that some posts are practically cheering him on NOT because he may move on to a new/better job...

...but because he called his boss a f@#king idiot and got fired in the process...???

 

Come on now...is that the right thing to be supporting...?...especially when most of those who are saying itwould NOT do it themselves.

 

Im not trying to make Gruppi feel bad....or lecturing. You offered YOUR opinon...I'm offering mine. That's not lecturing.

 

I just think there are many ways to offer morale support and provide a positive spin...without applauding the negative act.

[S. Yeti Bigfoot, Esq.]

OK.

[Gruupi]

Hey guys, I don't feel Miroslav is wrong or like he is lecturing me. I agree with him that what I did was wrong. I am mad at myself for losing my temper. I do appreciate all the support of people that feel that they might have lost their tempers also in this situation. But in the end the man that can always act rationally is the better man. Its something that I have worked hard on for many years. I have gotten better at not immediatlly blowing my top when people get in my face, but I still haven't learned to back down when someone sustains a fight and deliberatly tries to make me angry. I feel that this is a weakness in my character.

 

I never pick fights. I will state my case if someone has wronged me but I almost never yell at anyone. I am not saying I am an easy person to get along with, I am quite sarcastic and can be a challenge to work with because of that. Don't let me give the impression that I am an angel and my boss was the devil. I just shouldn't have ever let the situation get out of hand. But whats done is done and if either we reconcile or I move on I realize that losing my cool isn't the way to solve problems.

[miroslav]

Originally posted by Gruupi:

I feel that this is a weakness in my character.

Heywelcome to the party, pal!

 

We've all had those "moments"that lead to "foot in mouth" situations.

 

I'm concerned for you being able to survive this transition, financially...not so much mentally, as you already have a good grip on things in that area.

If you can transition to a new job before the funds start getting drained...then you'll be OK.

It sure sounds like it was time for you to move on!

 

Heck...regardless of what your boss is or isn't...you may(?) want to see if it's possible to at least band-aid the relationship to the point of getting a positive reference from him since you put in a good number of years there.

And that will also pave the way for some unemployment benefits while you look for a new job.

I don't see that as "begging" or "giving in"...

...I see that as a smart/minimal survival decision that you will be able to live with....if you know what I mean.

 

Maybe I was sounding too concerned in my posts...

but a buddy of mine got fired from his job last September because of an error in good judgment, and he put himself in a situation where someone was able to only insinuate things...and he got fired for it anyway.

It took him 6 months to get is life back on track.

Though he didnt have the professional skills that you obviously haveso I think youll fare much better.

 

Good luck, man!

[Gruupi]

I am in a postition where I don't have to get a job for a quite a long time (years?). It really just depends on how frugal I want to live. Its not that I don't want to get a job, but sometimes its good to kick back for a bit and maybe see the country. I've never seen the ocean other than the Gulf of Mexico and thats something I want to do before I die.

[Pappy P]

Hey Gruupi:

 

At least you will have more time to post here.

[Gruupi]

Yeah, now I will be directing all my sarcasm at you guys, look out.

[miroslav]

Originally posted by Gruupi:

I am in a postition where I don't have to get a job for a quite a long time (years?). It really just depends on how frugal I want to live. Its not that I don't want to get a job, but sometimes its good to kick back for a bit and maybe see the country. I've never seen the ocean other than the Gulf of Mexico and thats something I want to do before I die.

Excellent!

 

Yeah...I can go real low-budget/low-maintenance too.

 

Well...if you decide to see the Atlantic and to pass through the Northeast...let me know!

I'm not near the ocean (lower NY State/Hudson Valley)...but maybe we can meet for a brew.

 

And I'll buy, since you will be on a budget!

[Tedster]

Originally posted by huafist:

Yeah. I never said it was smart or the proper thing to do. I just have real issues with people yelling at me, especially for no real reason. On top of that, I don't suffer stupid people well. You're right, I'd probably be in jail & unemployed.

Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do...

[Bluesape]

Anyone reading back through these posts will see that I've edited the F-word quite a few times. I'm as guilty as the next person of using expletives, but I've really got better things to do than ferret out obscenities you folks wouldn't want YOUR kids reading here. Please bear in mind that there are young children posting and reading here. I know that some of you view this aspect of my position as pointless, but I hope most of you will self-edit.

[fantasticsound]

Actually, thank you, Bluesape.

 

I usually ** several letters in an expletive to lessen the effect on those who shouldn't be reading them and I try to use them only when I feel it's truly necessary on forums, which is to say, rarely.

[Mudcat]

Originally posted by fantasticsound:

Actually, thank you, Bluesape...

DITTO!