ITGITC

http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1367488/nuns-beer.jpg Have a great weekend!

Wow. Really really nice, guys. Tom

Yes. Yes... And does she have a sister?

I know. I've had this same addiction too. In another thread about music that would be appreciated in restaurants, I mentioned playing music from other jazz pianists. I also mentioned TV themes. This fits the bill on both counts. On that topic, this style reminds me of 1960s and what I call Martini Music. Jobim is certainly at the top of this list. (Brubeck, Ramsey Lewis, and Bacharach/David are there too.) Yeah. There are specific flourishes that Mr. Guaraldi uses and are common through many of his tunes. I'm a fan. Tom

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The sweet shop owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of chocolates. Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne ?" "No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

[video:youtube] Speakers on! Happy Halloween!

Pretty Schweeeeet.

http://i.imgur.com/op9fSbe.gif

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in college class. Teacher: What kind of wife would you likeCharles? Charles: I would want a wife like the Moon. Teacher: Wow! What a choice... Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon? Charles: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.

This! Me too! I'll bring the beer. Tom

Welcome, ChiefDanG. Tom

26 foolproof ways to piss off a cat Photos... for your viewing enjoyment! http://now.msn.com/angry-cats-a-photo-gallery-of-ways-to-piss-off-a-cat (I've got three.)

http://i.qkme.me/3t4gaa.jpg

Hi Duane and welcome to The Keyboard Corner! You repaired a couple of boards in my K2000 over the years. Unfortunately, they were self-inflicted wounds. Nevertheless, it plays, although the display shows erroneous characters & the floppy drive no longer works. Like I said - my bad. I would send the display board to you, but Dave Weiser is here on the forum & he badly wants to sell me a shiny new PC3K so I'll shut up about my Nord. I hope you will stick around. There are a good group of folks here... as well as some erroneous characters. Tom Henry Raleigh, NC

Do you keep a cover over your keyboards when you aren't playing them? I believe that dirt is a major player in keyboard failure... I'm not sure if playing with your feet or hamfists is worse. I'll ask BluesKeys. He'll know. Here in tobacco country, (the call letters of a radio station in my hometown were "WEED"), smoke was everywhere we played. Fortunately, such is no longer the case. The main thing to worry about now is whether the venue is located next to a meth house. (I so hate playing in those country club / golf course communities!) http://www.jazzmuseum.se/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/121jerry-lee-lewis.jpg

Early one day, a C, an E-flat, and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. Later a D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender isn't convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. The bartender looks over his shoulder and notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in my bar tonight!" The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in. This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit - and everything else - and stands there au natural. Eventually the C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides that since he's only had tenor so patrons, with the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest... so he closes the bar.

[video:youtube]mxq1td5OwJ8 Mr. Forceman, how in the world did this happen to you? ITGITC?

OK, MrDreggs... see what you've done? They're all coming out of the woodwork now. Next thing you know, everyone is going to repeat all the organ jokes they've ever heard... Plus that one about the genie, last wish, and miniature pianist.

[video:youtube]_GxC4kKD9qA Flahback!

Too funny. ITGITC?

A good friend in the USAF just sent this to me... No Sex Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now." Gotta love military time. Tom

Izzat a spare MIDI cable in your pocket? ...or are you just glad to see me? (Predictable? Yes. Funny? ...maybe.) Especially since it was clear to see that my MIDI cable was connected to my synths on stage and there was no room for it in my pocket... ...alongside my "SM58". Yeah... SM58. What did you name YOURS?

OK - this is SO WRONG!! Mother's Day Photo Slideshow from MSNBC.COM Whatever you do, DON'T view photo #9, with a mouthful of anything!! You have been warned! KLONK!

The Dead Cow and Vet School First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger." "Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid." Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your f***ing cat." The blonde went into a shoe store to buy a pair of alligator shoes. After trying them on, she asked about the price. Learning that the shoes were very expensive, she decided she would go out into the bayou and get her own alligator shoes. Later that afternoon, the shopkeeper was on his way home, going through the bayou, when he noticed the same blonde with a 12-gauge shotgun. She was dragging a 12-foot alligator onto the bank, where she stacked it near a large pile of alligators. As she turned the gator over, he heard her shout, "Dang, this one isn't wearing shoes either." Speaking of blonde.... A woman calls the fire department frantically, "Hurry, my kitchen's on fire." The Fire Department dispatcher says, "OK lady, please calm down. Tell us how we get there?" The woman pauses, "Duh? Big red truck." Little Mary was not the best student in Religion Class. Usually she slept through the whole period. One day Sister called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, a smart-ass boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the butt. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and Sister said, "Very good." Mary went back to sleep. A while later Sister asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and Sister said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. Then Sister asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" And Sister fainted.