joegerardi Posted July 3, 2001 Share Posted July 3, 2001 1. Your favourite pickup line is, "What's your favourite augmented sixth chord?" 2. You can look at a piece by Bach and say, "You know, I think he could have got a much better effect this way . . ." 3. You like to march around your room to the rhythms of Stravinsky's "Le Sacre du Printemps." 4. You love to quote Walter Piston. 5. You long for the good old days of movable G-clefs. 6. You like polytonal music because, hey, the more keys the merrier. 7. You dream in four parts. 8. You feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a picardy third. 9. You can improvise 16th century counterpoint with no trouble, but you frequently forget how to tie your shoes. 10. You lament the decline of serialism. 11. You enjoy the tang of a tritone whenever you can. 12. You like to deceive your friends and loved ones with deceptive cadences. 13. You only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun. 14. Instead of counting sheep, you count sequences. 15. You only sing tunes that make good fugal subjects. 16. You find free counterpoint too liberal. 17. Moussorgsky's "Hopak" gives you nightmares. 18. You wonder what a "Danish Sixth" would sound like. 19. The Corelli Clash gives you goose bumps. 20. You can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away. 21. You have ever done a Schenkerian analysis on "Three Blind Mice." You have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on John Cage's "4'33". 22. You have hosted a "Gurrelieder" party. 23. You have ever pondered what an augmented seventh chord would sound like. 24. Bass motion by ascending thirds or a sequential pattern with roots in ascending fifths immediately strikes you as "belaboured." 25. You know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off the top of your head. 26. You can name ten of Palestrina's contemporaries. 27. You can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer. 28. You have ever heard a wrong note in a performance of a piece by Berio, Stockhausen, or Boulez. 29. You suspiciously check all the music you hear for dangling sevenths. 30. When you're feeling particularly prankish, you transpose Mozart arias to locrian mode. 31. You keep a notebook of useful diminutions. 32. Those "parasitic" dissonances make you queasy, especially when left unresolved. 33. You have composed variations on a theme by Anton Webern. 34. You know the difference between a Courante and a Corrente. 35. You have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of fifths. 36. You have ever used the word "fortspinnung" in polite conversation. 37. You feel cheated by evaded cadences. 38. You have a poster of Allen Forte in your room. 39. You know who Allen Forte is. 40. Every now and then you like to kick back and play something in hypophrygian mode. 41. You wonder why there aren't more types of seventh chords. 42. You wish you had twelve fingers. 43. You abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass. 44. You always make sure to invert your counterpoint, just in case. 45. You have ever told a joke that had this punchline: "because it was POLYPHONIC!" 46. You know dirty acronyms for the order of sharps. 47. You consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be "rather elementary." 48. You memorise dates and times by what they would sound like in set theory. 49. You can not only identify any one of Bach's 371 Harmonised Chorales by ear, but you also know on what page it appears in the Riemenschneider edition and how many suspensions it has in the first seven bars. 50. You got more than half of the jokes in this list. Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krakit Posted July 3, 2001 Share Posted July 3, 2001 As for only drinking fifths, I only drink Vodka diatonics. I used to drink Super Tonics, but I'm trying to watch my weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marino Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 1) What's the difference between a Courante and a Corrente? 2) Who is Allen Forte? 3) What is "Music Theory"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llarion Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 Um, how many of those have to apply to you to have the title bestowed? I blushed on about 7 or 8 of them.... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ------------------ Cheers! Phil "Llarion: The Jazzinator" Traynor www.mp3.com/llarion Smooth Jazz Cheers! Phil "Llarion: The Jazzinator" Traynor www.llarion.com Smooth Jazz - QUESTION AUTHORITY. Go ahead, ask me anything. http://www.llarion.com/images/dichotomybanner.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 Great list! Where did you find this? (I noticed some British spellings.) Here are a couple of favorites. 1. Your favourite pickup line is, "What's your favourite augmented sixth chord?" Oh, PLEASE! That's so "youth orchestra!" 3. You like to march around your room to the rhythms of Stravinsky's "Le Sacre du Printemps." Only in springtime. 12. You like to deceive your friends and loved ones with deceptive cadences. I think I'm finally starting to grow out of this habit. 13. You only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun. When I drink fifths, I'll laugh at anything. 15. You only sing tunes that make good fugal subjects. Um, I might have done this once or twice. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 27. You can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer. That depends on how it rings. 32. Those "parasitic" dissonances make you queasy, especially when left unresolved. Guilty as charged. 33. You have composed variations on a theme by Anton Webern. Good one! Try to do a variation on random noise. 35. You have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of fifths. My dog's name is Stravinsky, and he only jumps through circles of fourths. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 43. You abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass. That reminds me - I need to pick up a 6/4 of milk. 44. You always make sure to invert your counterpoint, just in case. I'm not that anal - but I always think about it. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 46. You know dirty acronyms for the order of sharps. Fast Chicks Go Down And Eat Boys 47. You consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be "rather elementary." Quite the contrary. I consider most post-1920 classical music to be pointless. 50. You got more than half of the jokes in this list. Not quite half, but dangerously close. Maybe I'd better check myself into one of those twelve tone programs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucktunes Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 If you've ever been late to work and used the excuse that on the way to work you hit a sharp eleven and got a flat nine! http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ><> Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joegerardi Posted July 4, 2001 Author Share Posted July 4, 2001 dansouth wrote: Great list! Where did you find this? (I noticed some British spellings.) Dan: An oboist friend of mine (remember back to the "most embarrassing thing" thread and the girl I was hitting on when they rearranged the Tubular Bells? Same girl, er woman, now) sent it to me. We were just on the phone talking about it, while she was making reeds. Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOS Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 You might be a "Music Theory Geek" if... You look at Christopher Walkin and say to yourself "His sentences don't end on a major or minor key for a proper cadence giving the sense that his statements are left unfinished." Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve44 Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 35. You have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of fifths. My dog's name is Stravinsky, and he only jumps through circles of fourths. That would be the wrong Russian S-composer, Mr. South - You're thinking of Scriabin. 10. You lament the decline of serialism. Hey - I celebrate the decline of serialism! I lament the lack of awareness of the plethora of non-serialist music written during the mi 20th Century. 20. You can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away. 25. You know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off the top of your head. 36. You have ever used the word "fortspinnung" in polite conversation Guilty as charged, and i can sing the ninth overtone too! (Tuvan style) 41. You wonder why there aren't more types of seventh chords aww c'mon! There are, they were just abolished with equal temperament! 47. You consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be "rather elementary." umm.. I think Wagner is in that category and I would never use the word "elementary" and "Tristan" in the same sentence. I'd rather say that all music written for film is "rather elementary". I love this list.. though a lot of them make me shudder like the Schenkarian analysis of Cage thing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted July 4, 2001 Share Posted July 4, 2001 Originally posted by Steve44: [35. You have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of fifths. My dog's name is Stravinsky, and he only jumps through circles of fourths. That would be the wrong Russian S-composer, Mr. South - You're thinking of Scriabin. My dog's name is really Schoenberg, but I forgot how to spell it, and his tags are missing. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted July 5, 2001 Share Posted July 5, 2001 8. You feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a picardy third. God loves a major chord, ya know http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 9. You can improvise 16th century counterpoint with no trouble, but you frequently forget how to tie your shoes. And you have a problem with that??? 11. You enjoy the tang of a tritone whenever you can. Who doesn't? 13. You only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun. As long as they're not parallel http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif 23. You have ever pondered what an augmented seventh chord would sound like. WHAT? You can augment a seventh chord. Sheesh, is this supposed to be funny? I'm taking offense and never using the Internet again. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 25. You know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off the top of your head. Yeah...so? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif 27. You can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer. Dial tone is a dead-on F, by the way. 43. You abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass. This always pissed me off. Why, with a 5 on bottom, is it a 1(6/4)? I know the reason...just being rhetorical. 50. You got more than half of the jokes in this list. Sadly, yes. Geek = me. - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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