Dave Bryce Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Okay, I have decided that this forum is way too well behaved. Being a native Philadelphian, I just love a good scrap. I've done my best to start a few good flame wars, but it always ends up fizzling; and, as the moderator, there's only so far that I can go. Sooooooo....I'm going to give this Alesis NanoPiano that I have lying around to the person who starts the best, most entertaining flame war. Now, you may be wondering - how I will judge this? I won't...you will. I'll let this contest run until the end of May, and then I'll start a thread where you guys will all vote for which person/thread you think deserves to win...and yes, it will be okay to vote for yourself. The judging should not only be based on content, but on the amount of interest/ number of posts generated. One or two caveats - this NanoPiano is not a brand new unit - it is my personal property. I don't have the original box, nor do I have the manual (trust me - you won't need it). Also, if someone from outside of the United States wins it, although I will be glad to pay the postage to send it to you, you're on your own as far as getting the proper power supply. Also, if the winner prefers, I will substitute a NanoSynth for the NanoPiano. As Johnny Storm, the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four used to say, "Flame On!"... http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/violent/scene.gif dB ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Professional Affiliations: Royer Labs • Music Player Network Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Ok Dave, The sad part will be that you can't do some flaming yourself. If you do, some people might vote for you, and you'll be stucked with the module. How sorry for you, he-he http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ------------------ --Smedis,-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Who wants a nanopiano anyways? to use as a door stop or as a coaster? I didn't think 'real' musicians had any use for equipment like this. I just think you finally got to your senses and decided to get some real equipment. Rod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted April 20, 2001 Author Share Posted April 20, 2001 The sad part will be that you can't do some flaming yourself. Oh, no...I fully intend to play. Like I said - I'm from Philly, and love a good scrap. That's my main reason for starting this! I'm jealous of the flame-wars in the other forums - everyone here seems to be so well-behaved, and I just love to start trouble. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/violent/msmiley2.gif Since I started the contest, I don't figure that anyone will vote for me, though... dB ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Professional Affiliations: Royer Labs • Music Player Network Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted April 20, 2001 Author Share Posted April 20, 2001 Who wants a nanopiano anyways? to use as a door stop or as a coaster? I didn't think 'real' musicians had any use for equipment like this. I just think you finally got to your senses and decided to get some real equipment. ...and so it begins... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif dB ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Professional Affiliations: Royer Labs • Music Player Network Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillW Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Dave probably won the dumb little boxes in a givaway at Wal-Mart.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joegerardi Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 And you think being from Philly gives you the ability to be a good flame warrior? Hell, the only thing worse than their crappy "Cheese Steak" sandwiches is the shitty quality of the musicianship: Though truth be known, a bunch of ankle-grabbers like you are only good for playing guitar, and for the even MORE learning impaired- drumming. Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillW Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Hold on here. Are we gonna let Dave "I played with Miles Davis" Bryce goad us into behaving like a bunch of beer-fueled drummers or (worse) A&R men? Best thing we could do is act so polite and prissy that he gets really pissed off. Now, send me the Nano-thingies and get back to the music.... Oh, yeah...Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillW Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Not workin' Dave. We're all too nice and too professional for this foolishness. Now stop buggin' us or I'm telling Mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F7sound - Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 If you really want to start a FLAME WAR, you gotta get Fletcher involved. Dave, you need to invite him to this forum. He'll flame everyone. Just start off by telling him that we all use Mackie 1604s with Blackface ADATs and we'd like to give HIM a few recording pointers..... Michael Oster F7 Sound and Vision http://www.f7sound.com Michael Oster F7 Sound and Vision http://www.F7sound.com http://www.regurgitron.com http://www.LaptopNoise.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Lozada Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Originally posted by bwilcox@hcarchitects.com: Not workin' Dave. We're all too nice and too professional for this foolishness. Now stop buggin' us or I'm telling Mom. This also means we are from a different race, compared to guitarists, drummers and those almost extinct things called bass players. (weren't they the human counterpart of a minimoog?) It also means, we are not interested in yelling "I'm the best" while showing our middle finger, wearing an Ice Hockey player mask (with blood, of course) showing up our very skinny bodies with lots of tatoos... collecting bra's onstage is cool, though. Wanna start a nasty thread here? mmmm... say: "I hate B3 and B3 lovers"...or "Music Theory??? Who needs it?"... or even worse: "I sold my music computer, my Piano and all of my synths and bought a Harley Davidson. I am alive now..." By the way, I was just kidding. Every musician deserves respect, whereas they play bass or a real instrument, like a keyboard http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif David, sorry to say, but Tasmanian Devil is not as ugly as you http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ... I wish for all of you a nice day and please, keep being good fellows... I really love to be a little part of this Forum. GusTraX@yahoo.com Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus at Fender Musical Instruments Company Instagram: guslozada Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología www.guslozada.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyote Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 You're gonna have to do better than that dagnabit - I already have a Nanopiano. Now if you offer a Yamaha P80 or something it might be worth some fire.... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif (But if this is the best flame you get I'll give you my buddy's address to send the Nano to) I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist. This ain't no track meet; this is football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksoper Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 And here I thought I was starting trouble when I trashed the Karma in the "Karma Opinions" thread. Maybe I wasn't blunt enough-- Let's see what damage I can do... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Originally posted by bwilcox@hcarchitects.com: Dave probably won the dumb little boxes in a givaway at Wal-Mart.... No, he did not! It's what he got for his contribution with Andromeda. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif ------------------ --Smedis,-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 I guess this proves my point. Keyboard players are wusses (or however you spell this). We sit in the corner of the stage having the singer and the guitar player have all the glory. Ever seen groupies drool over keyboard players? Nah. Being nice never helped people get their way. We can't even argue before someone decides to do a tea party and a group hug. Hardly do you ever see keyboard players as 'frontman'. We need guitar players to do that for us. Oh, about the Karma, yeah, we will have a new generation of people who call themselves musicians and whose knowledge is limited to pressing keys on a keyboard (you might as well put a chiquita banana sticker on the key you want to press and put a monkey on stage. I'm sure he will press the right key more often than the new generation of keyboard players) and post their music on the web. I saw a recent review on sonic state recently which illustrates my point (this is verbatum): "I own the Cs6x and it is a huge kick when I made a song called "my puppy" with the voice "puppy" and all I did was set up a few appregiators and with the twist of the knobs. I'm sure glad that this baby gave me the way to make killer trance music!!!!!! " Expect similar reviews on the Karma. I was buying some CDs the other day, and they were playing trance in the store. I was getting a headache, the song had the same chord for about 5 minutes, with this arpeggiated pattern with someone opening and closing the filter and applying a gate effect to chop off the sound cyclically. Music for the masses. Rod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wormhole Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Come on admit it. You suck and wish you could be as capable, smart, agile, virile, or gifted as me. Everyone here is substandard and as such is a waste of flesh. Now stop playing that laughable pseudo-music on that pitiful excuse for an instrument and go make me a sandwich. No scratch that. i would eat in the same room with such vile decrepid toothless old farts in fear that I'll vomit my entire intestinal tract. Just give me the box so i can get out of here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synthfoolsynthfool.com Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 C'mon... Dave got the module for free most likely and here he's trying to goad us all on with the darn thing!! Well I won't bite. There's no need for something like a nanopiano anyways. Pianos are old and passe' and have no place in the only true music style of our day: hardcore techno. Oh... and Tatum was a hack. Couldn't really play anything simple without embellishing the crap out of it to the point of silly. ....and might I add that Battlefield Earth was a considerably better film than the "Godfather". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 What I thought would be a great flame war was lost into oblivion (remember the tread "Mac vs PC"). Everybody acted so polite, maybe because I asked so. Maybe because everyone was afraid to throw the first stone. I think it could resusrrect though... it's a perfectly thrashable tread. Oh, and check out the Korg tread. I love korg by the way. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/tongue.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham English Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 If brains were lard, none of you could grease a skillet http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/mfinger/thefinger_red.gif ++ Graham English ++ Ear Training, Songwriting Tips, and Music Theory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted April 21, 2001 Author Share Posted April 21, 2001 What I thought would be a great flame war was lost into oblivion (remember the tread "Mac vs PC"). Everybody acted so polite, maybe because I asked so. Maybe because everyone was afraid to throw the first stone. I think it could resusrrect though... it's a perfectly thrashable tread. Yeah, I had high hopes for that one as well...it was one of the threads that inspired this contest. I'd say definitely drag it back out! dB Hardcore Mac guy ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Professional Affiliations: Royer Labs • Music Player Network Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 You know what really ticks me off? People who complain about the most trivial details. Some guy was complaining that the XV-5080 had no arpeggiator. That's like complaining that a Steinway has no vibrato. A few others said the Triton's interface was confusing. I think pipe organs have a confusing interface, but that doesn't stop people from learning that interface well enough to make some extraordinary music. Try playing a violin or a modular synth, then tell me the Triton is cryptic. Some other trivial complaints... "Kurzweils are too expensive." Oh, yeah? Ever heard that you get what you pay for? "The AW4416 only has 16 tracks." Yeah, compared to 24 tracks of MP3-quality rubbish on the new Roland! My favorite: "I don't like the presets." Learn the architecture and program some sounds you like. I say, down with whiners who find any excuse to avoid making some music! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael saulnier Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Oh sure... the keyboard players get a contest. Well let me tell you... us guitarists don't need no contest! We've got all the fun we need debating which strings are better, whether a strat is a great guitar or a doorstop, and whether Eric Clapton is a sellout... Isn't it ironic that there's no such thing as a keyboard player who's a sellout? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway... at least we can play with our teeth! P.S. My AX-1 controler has the best written manual ever produced! guitplayer I'm still "guitplayer"! Check out my music if you like... http://www.michaelsaulnier.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Lozada Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Originally posted by guitplayer: Anyway... at least we can play with our teeth! guitplayer Be our guest... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif We'll enjoy to see you face while getting some electric shocks when doing it... but do not be worried, we will yell "bravo maestro" even if you die in the try... funny guy... GusTraX Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus at Fender Musical Instruments Company Instagram: guslozada Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología www.guslozada.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlopHappy Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Exactly dansouth! I say ignore the trolls... One wonders why they get so worked up over such petty things? Let me understand this...let's see, there are people in the world starving, without a house or shelter, dying of curable diseases, living in open sewers in India and in other parts of the world, and your problem was what? What was that you were saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 One wonders why they get so worked up over such petty things? Let me understand this...let's see, there are people in the world starving, without a house or shelter, dying of curable diseases, living in open sewers in India and in other parts of the world, and your problem was what? What was that you were saying? People just love to throw this argument everytime desire for material goods comes up. Where does it end? You can say it's excessive for me to use a car during the week, I could bike to work. Is it excessive for people to complain that their washing machine doesn't work? People in India don't seem to need them. Plus it's easy to loose sight. Material goods is nothing but highs, you keep needing something better to top off the previous one. Life sucks, and it's not fair. Doesn't mean I should feel any guilt about joking with my friends whose car has more horsepower, how cool a stereo we have. Yep, it's silly, but we probably won't stop doing it, and you get a good laugh about it at the end. I've seen poverty at all levels. I help with when I can, but I feel no guilt for what I have, and if I want to complain that I can't change the cc's that the knobs in my cs6x transmits it's my own problem. Rod (a little too tall to be a troll) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlopHappy Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 I think your taking what I said a little TOO seriously Rod... If those troll shoes fit however...(hahaha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joegerardi Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Slop Happy wrote: and your problem was what? What was that you were saying? You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. (OK guys. Top THAT!) Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael saulnier Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Originally posted by joegerardi: (OK guys. Top THAT!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No problem... "I'm rubber and you're glue... everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!" guitplayer I'm still "guitplayer"! Check out my music if you like... http://www.michaelsaulnier.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Daaaaaaaayyyyyyuuuuuuummmmmm! Joe is a kick-ass flamemaster! I'm impressed and I've been flamed for three years on usenet! Wow! - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries." - Monty Python Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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