My Piece Of Shit Ford

[phaeton]

Yep. 1999 Ford Ranger Flareside. Black (except where the paint is peeling off). 2.5L 4cyl. Dual ignition. 30mpg. 5 speed manual. Payload capacity 1200 pounds. 95K miles on Firestone Wilderness Blow-Up tires. Paid for. No oil leaks.

 

The family i work for has a fleet of Oldsmobiles. "Upscale" GM vehicles. My roommates have Chevrolets. Other friends have other cars.

 

Not me. Just my Piece Of Shit Ford. Nobody likes my Piece Of Shit Ford, and they're always ready to tell me what a Piece Of Shit Ford it really is. You know those Piece Of Shit Fords and how they always break down and fall apart.

 

Had to rescue the bossman today in my Piece Of Shit Ford. Upscale Oldsmobile was borken. This is a monthly event with the Fleet Of Oldsmobiles. The've bought a lot of transfercases, transmissions, brake rotors, hubs, spindles, etc.

Showroom guy at the dealership took it upon himself to tell me he could 'get me out of that ugly ole thing and into something nice'.

 

Roommates had loads of trouble with one of their Chevrolets when they first got it. Got stranded on the freeway almost daily. Good thing there was a Piece Of Shit Ford lying around somewhere to come get them.

 

95K miles, just keep a-pluggin' away. Changin' the oil, fillin' the gas. w0000! I might put some tires on it before winter. Of course I said that last year. And the year before. I think they'll dry-rot before they wear out.

 

Illinois to Oregon to Wisconsin to Colorado to Illinois to Wisconsin. 2.5hrs up to Madison every other weekend to see the Sweetheart (she has a pair of Hondas). Work and back every day for 6 years now. Whoo-ee.

 

Too bad it's just a Piece Of Shit Ford. Sometimes i think i could really like it. But you know what they say about those Piece Of Shit Fords- always breaking down and falling apart. I've got to be careful.

[not Cereal]

hey, those rangers are fun toy-trucks.

 

i dont say that to be mean, they are fun well built toy trucks.

 

the 4x4 rangers can pull a stuck car out of the mud (it was my car) and modified rangers can do what jeeps do. they definately make a fun offroad vehicle.

 

i never laugh at any truck, even toy trucks. except the H2 - thats a total joke and waste of $$$

 

rangers simply cannot do what a full size 3/4ton and greater can do. they cant haul as much or tow as much. but they are definately a fun truck.

 

ever consider dropping a 302 in it? that'd rock if you could keep the frame intact.

[fantasticsound]

Yep...

 

There's a lot of vitriol aimed at Ford products, but they've always been good to me.

 

Current owner of a:

 

1999 Mercury Sable.

2004 Ford Focus

 

Former owner of a:

 

1991 Ford Escort

 

I used to drive a 1981 Mercury Lynx my parents owned. They had a mid-'60's Ford Falcon convertable (my older brother will never forgive them for selling it while he was still a kid. ),1969 and 1973 Mercury Marquis wagons, and they drive a 1990's Mercury Villager and 2000 (?) Lincoln LS.

 

My brother just bought a Ford Expedition (Don't ask.. He lives in the Chicago suburbs. )

 

We've had decent cars from other makers, too, and a few lemons. (1978 Pontiac Bonneville, back when they resembled Chevy Caprice's). By and large, the Fords have always been great performers.

 

Of course, it didn't hurt that my wife works for Ford Credit, but I would gladly have bought something else had the Focus not met my needs and expectations.

[The Studio Pet-Rock]

Yep. I drive a piece of shit '92 Tempo. Everybody laughs at it. I get 30mpg in town. It doesn't use any oil between changes. 150,000 miles on it now. Not bad for a $350 police-auction car.

 

Don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.

[wraub]

Past owner here of a 1978 Ford LTD II S, a former Game and Fish Dept. cop car.

Cop shocks, motor, etc. My own BluesMobile. $200.00 at auction.

Ran on that thing for years, pretty much drove most of it into the ground, hauling gear and whatnot.

 

Sold it to someone who wanted it for the engine (351V8) for $150.00.

 

And don't even get me started about my Father-in-Law's Bronco II, which was openly mocked by guys in Jeeps with 30" Mickey Thompson's and stupid-high lift kits.

Until they got stuck somewhere...

 

Peace,

 

wraub

[not Cereal]

i never laughed at your car petrock. i think it looks nice. i was quite suprised when the wheel fell off. it sure worked good when my truck ran out of gas at 3am.

 

you got a new phone number yet? sorry i been so off-the-face-of-the-planet lately.

[not Cereal]

BTW some of my favorite vehicles are the late 60's mercury comets. love those cars.

[Billster]

My old '90 Ford Probe (um, not the best name anyone ever thought of) lasted 13 years in crusty New England before I (an my growing family) outgrew it and it started falling apart. Over the years the transmission failed, the differential portion of the transaxle failed, and ultimately the dash wiring started going totally haywire (pardon the pun). The A/C croaked in the last year of life, too. Only stranded me once (the tranny failure)

 

I don't think that's too bad for an econo- oriented car that rolled out 35 mpg on the highway. I only replaced the brakes once in 110,000 miles (don't use the brakes much )

 

I grew up in a 1970 Oldsmobile though, and after I inherited it, drove it fearlessly until I got the Probe. Our family got 20 years out of the car, and I sold it for $350 to a biker who wanted a winter car. The thing is probably still running somewhere.

[phaeton]

i dont say that to be mean, they are fun well built toy trucks.

 

I know exactly what you mean. It's a small truck, for small truckiness. I didn't need a full-side, and i'm glad i didn't get one. You have that big-ole camper to lug around. Your truck is the right choice for that.

 

The Chevy dealership told me that the S-10 could pull a 10,000 pound trailer, and with the right rear end and V6 could pull a 15,000 pound trailer. I asked him how the fuck he kept a straight face telling me that.

 

Comets are bitchin' I love Falcons too.

 

i never laugh at any truck, even toy trucks. except the H2 - thats a total joke and waste of $$$

 

$50K Chevy Silverado, minus all the soundproofing and creature comforts, but also less 4X4 capable than the standard SUV (which isn't saying much).

 

I hope Coaster thumbs his nose at those guys when he drives the primered Dodge past them on the way up the mountain.

 

Jackasses.

 

Don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.

 

I know exactly what you mean. It's a small truck, for small truckiness. I didn't need a full-side, and i'm glad i didn't get one. You have that big-ole camper to lug around. Your truck is the right choice for that.

 

Some cars that i've owned:

 

1980 Fairmont 4door sedan. Friend/Roommate/bandmate and I pooled our cash to buy a car. We shared it for almost a year. It got stolen. The police found it upside down in an aquaduct.

 

1966 Fairlane $1200 (wrecked)

 

1977 Chevy Caprice $600 Police Auction (blew the engine up)

1981 Pinto $100 (it was a death trap)

 

1966 Falcon I kind of co-own this car with a good friend.

 

1980 Fairmont Futura 2dr coupe $350 (gave it to a friend whos 1984 Escort bit the dust after 340K. Wish i still had this car. He sold it to a friend and it's driven daily)

 

1965 Galaxie 500 $4500 (sold it back to the owner, long pitiful story)

 

1982 Honda Accord hatchback. $150. 224K miles. Fun car, but an even worse deathtrap than the pinto. Sold it to a guy named Pablo for $75.

 

1999 Ranger $13,500 new. First new vehicle. Probably the last. Gonna drive it till it won't drive no more. After that it's Subaru Wagon time.

[Blue Strat]

Current owner of a '05 Ford Focus ZX5. Sold '00 Piece of Shit Dodge RAM 1500 and got the ZX5. Before the POS Dodge I had a '95 Ford F-150 XLT. F-150 died a horrible death in '00 freak snow storm. Hit oak tree while driving in the mountains and truck was total loss. Paid 10k used, drove it 4 years, got 10k from insurance. I'm lucky like that.

[not Cereal]

its not primer anymore!

truck pic

now i'm rebuilding the inside of the camper.

[Tedster]

Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock:

Yep. I drive a piece of shit '92 Tempo. Everybody laughs at it. I get 30mpg in town. It doesn't use any oil between changes. 150,000 miles on it now. Not bad for a $350 police-auction car.

 

Don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.

That is one of the most wisdom-filled sayings I've read anywhere... and with a proper quote attributed to you, I'd like to use that as a sig line with your permission...

[Fendercaster]

I traded in my piece of shit Ranger last year for a Dakota, mainly for the four wheel drive. I love the Dakota, but the 12-15 mpg sucks big time. I had no problems with my piece of shit Ranger, other than it was useless in the snow. Weight in the back helped some, but even in rain it would spin tires taking off in second gear.

I have many fond memories of my piece of shit Ford sedan from back in my teenage years!

[Prague]

I drive Mustangs. For some reason, they start every time, every day, every year.

 

I always get the import owners asking for help with their inoperative cars. Sorry, but I will let them use my cell phone. I don't fix imports.

[fantasticsound]

Originally posted by phaeton:

...1981 Pinto $100 (it was a death trap)...

Uh... 1971, maybe? There's no such vehicle as a 1981 Pinto. The Escort/Lynx arrived in '81 and the Pinto was gone in 1980. I remember well, since we moved to Germany in 1980, back to the states in '81 and purchased that Mercury Lynx the first year it and the Escort were available. They were the only compact cars in the Ford/Mercury line that year.

 

 

Originally posted by phaeton:

...1965 Galaxie 500 $4500 (sold it back to the owner, long pitiful story)...

Now yer cookin' with heat! Sorry to hear you sold it back. Was it stolen prior to your purchase, or was there some other reason you sold it back?

[phaeton]

Pinto

 

My bad.. it was a 1980. Maybe my Fairmont was the 81. Btw they didn't make Pintos in 1971. The compact car then was the Maverick

 

Galaxie

 

429cj, C6 transmission. 5mpg. Beautiful car. Scary fast. Lost my job shortly after buying it. I couldn't afford to insure it or drive it most of the time i had it. I ended up leaving the state for 2 years and it sat. Came back, spent 3 months cleaning it up and fixing it (someone stole the carburetor). Lost my job again, needed the money. Traded the Fairlane for a set of tires for the Galaxie. Sold the Galaxie back to the owner for less than i paid for it (start kicking me now), signed the Falcon over to my friend who just got his POS Jetta repo'ed.

 

That's the short story.

 

Oh, i once saw my Fairmont Coupe (easily recognizeable bc i changed it from 4-headlight to 2-headlight front grille and insert). Tried to buy it, but he wouldn't sell. Probably just as well, as i moved back out to the midwest again shortly after and wouldn't have been able to take it.

 

Those were great cars.

 

Coaster

 

Green and white is a great combo Looks sharp. Is that a 1-ton, btw? I'm counting the lug nuts (which are reverse threaded on this side )

[not Cereal]

smart man. yes it has left had thread on the drivers side.

 

3/4ton, rides like a 2 ton. changing to radial tires helped a lot. 60psi instead of the 80psi in the biasplys.

 

d'dya ever hear about my blasted snow tires? i got the kind that have about 1.5" deep tread and steel studs. came with the truck.

 

put them on one winter, then afterwards drove to gas station to check the air pressure in the tires.

 

they both had ZERO air pressure. yes, ZERO. NADA. NOTHING.

 

but you would never have known it. you couldnt tell by looking, they didnt drive funny.

 

added 80psi of air and never noticed a difference from ZERO.

 

tell ya what, plain old radials work far better in every condition i have been in.

[theblue1]

"Upscale Oldsmobile was borken."

 

 

Bork, v.t., colloquial -- to eliminate any chance of a favorable outcome.

 

Usage: Man... that Bolton nomination is completely borked, now.

 

_______________________

 

Back in the 80's, when I was in school and scudding along on recording moonlighting and other odd jobs, my dad momentarily offered to give me his (self-owned) company's Pontiac or Oldsmobile "J-car" (GM was apparently trying to trade on the relative success of the Chrysler "K-cars")... I think it was a "J2000" or somesuch... one of those mid-size front wheel drive Detroit boxes. It had about 20,000 miles on it, which would have made it the newest car I'd ever owned.

 

I didn't hear back from him on it for a week or two and finally called. He said, well, I changed my mind.

 

I said, sure, Dad, that's okay if you want to keep it or the company needs it after all.

 

He said -- no, that's not it.

 

I'm trying to help you out here.

 

This POS (shocking words from him), he said, has been in the shop 4 months out of the last year (3 major repairs in the first 20K miles) and now it's overheating. I want to do something for you that won't just be a burden...

 

_________________________

 

 

One of my buddies had two Rangers in a row and really loved them. He followed them up with a Mustang about two years ago. He doesn't like it as much, but I think it's been pretty dependable. But FoMoCo managed to piss him off early and but-good when he lost his 'smart key' and found out a replacement was something like $350. For a key.

 

For that kind of money, he said, it ought to be smart enough to climb into a mailbox and mail itself back to the owner...

[phaeton]

Yeah! My dad had a big ole Chevy truck with big ole tires on it. Loaded the back with wood, and the two rear tires looked a little low. Drove it home. Few days later, checked the pressure and there was none.

 

NONE

 

The tires were 5 years old and still looked new. Put 65 or 70 pounds into em and it drove no different. And yeah, there's a reason why radials have nearly wiped bias ply tires off the market

 

Bork, v.t., colloquial -- to eliminate any chance of a favorable outcome.

 

I usually write "b0rk3d" but i figured everyone might be scratching their heads with that.

[theblue1]

And I'd been pronouncing that "b-zero-rk-three-dee"...

 

That's going to save me some time reading on this BB...

 

... and here I was thinking that was the name of a robot in one of the latter Star Wars flicks...

[ViLo]

1998 Ford Ranger XLT 4 cyl. 143K, it's my working little truck [i work in construction and remodeling] I bougth it in 1999 with 30K on it, I load almost evreything from plywood to fridge's and still going...

 

Yeah! some say is a POS, but I love it!!

[henrysb3]

My first Ford was a '74 Econoline I bought in '75 when my first wife totalled our '71 Datsun 510 (for the second time). It was a hippie-band haulin' special. Two seats, three on the tree, and the only option was a 302 V8. No power nothin', no air. It got eighteen mpg, loaded or not and was incredibly reliable. It had 8,500 miles when I bought it and ten times that when I sold it to a friend who drove it to its demise.

 

I've had quite a few Fomoco products since then. Bought an Oldsmobile Omega in '81 - they couldn't even deliver it until they worked out some electrical problem, and that was just the start of lemondom.

 

my auto biography:

 

'61 Impala

'67 Dart GT

'53 Chevy pickup

'71 Datsun 510

'66 Chevelle plain Jane sedan, from best friend

'74 Econoline

'81 Omega

'74 F250 Camper Special

'78 (I think) Datsun 200 SX

early eighties Datsun 210, from best friend

'84 Bronco II rockhopper

'88 Chrysler Lebaron GTS

'92 Ford Explorer with Fire 'n brimstone tires

'85 Jeep Cherokee for our son, from my best friend

'97 Taurus to replace the rolled Cherokee

'98 Mercury Mystique

'99 Ranger

'95 Aerostar (almost the same color as the hippie-hauler)

2003 Focus, for the daughter's graduation

My wife just bought her first new car all on her own, a

2005 Pontiac Vibe

 

As you can see, I am pretty loyal to Ford. If I had thirty G, I'd maybe get an Escape Hybrid or the new Freestyle. That said, I must observe that most of these cars and trucks had some fine points. I really don't like the piss-on stickers people put in their windows, aimed at competing brands. At one time, I thought of making stickers and license plates with the Ford, GM, Chrysler and Harley logos with the caption: "Be Proud of 'em All."

 

Henry

[offramp]

Ford have been the primary car in my life.

 

We've had

'64 XL convertible (had my parents been able to wait for six months, their first car would've been a '64.5 mustang

'68 Mustang (my 'first' car, after the '69 Impala that lasted one year. Bitch.)

'69 Econoline (so damned cool)

'69 Mustang (what the parentals got after the XL)

'71 Torino (someone was a bit drunk at the drawing board on this one, methinks.) (Replaced the Mustang. Dammit.)

'74 Pinto wagon (with the faux wood panels on the side. Dependable, but a buzzkill.)

'71 Supervan (Ran like a motherfucker. I think we sold it at 325k on the odie.)

'78 Pinto wagon (my first accident in this car) (Also, a one in a million shot--it shared the same key as the '71 Supervan. Accidental discovery that about caused me to pee my pants. Long story.)

'81 Escort wagon

'84 Escort wagon

'86 Escort hatchback (Great little car, aside from it's penchant for eating it's own carbuerator every two years...)

--a few years with Datsun 280z, Isuzu Trooper, Volvo 240, Volkswagen Jetta (wish I'd never sold it)--

and now, a '95 Explorer sport.

 

GM products just smell and feel wrong.

Chrysler? Well... I've never been able to get over the oddness of every one of their products. A slant six? Sounds like a dog wheezing, on startup. Weird looking fuckers, too. Fugly vehicles.

[offramp]

Originally posted by phaeton:

2.5hrs up to Madison every other weekend to see the Sweetheart (she has a pair of Hondas).

heh. And what a pair of Hondas those are, phaeton. Hoo-wee.

[The Studio Pet-Rock]

Originally posted by not Cereal:

i never laughed at your car petrock. i think it looks nice. i was quite suprised when the wheel fell off.

This can be completely attributed to my stupidity. Note to all: when the front-end of your car starts to sound like an airplane taking off, replace your wheel bearings!

 

Cars Ive owned:

1974 Honda Civic (total POS, but damn fun to drive. Threw a piston rodand then another, and that was that).

 

1977 Pinto ($250 car, moved to New Mexico with it, stayed there almost two years, moved back to ND with it. At 200k, suspension started to give, but it still ran great).

 

1987 Ford Escort ($50 car, severe front-end damage. Spent $100 on parts, sold the car for $650).

 

1978 Chrysler LeBaron (Sharp car when I bought it! However, thanks to Chryslers Ill-conceived lean-burn system, the valves melted. It still ran, but you had to hold your foot on the accelerator to keep it running at stoplights. Horrible body-rot finally did it in: the passenger side of the car sat lower than the drivers side, because the leaf spring began to push its way into the trunk area unit-body construction was a mistake for this car).

 

1978 Ford Club Wagon ($800 behemoth with a 460cid engine and two 20-gallon gas tanks. I bought it for the purpose of moving to Colorado. Ended up moving back to ND with it. At 10mpg, I simply couldnt afford it anymore)

 

1992 Tempo (Had it almost two years now. Replaced the clutch, front wheel bearings & some nickel & dime stuff here & there. Starting to show very small areas of rust, but still runs good).

[The Studio Pet-Rock]

Originally posted by Tedster:

 

That is one of the most wisdom-filled sayings I've read anywhere... and with a proper quote attributed to you, I'd like to use that as a sig line with your permission...

It's all yours! Actually, It's my twist on a bumper sticker I saw a few years back. I can't remember what it said exactly.

[the stranger]

Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock:

Don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.

[Henchman]

I was walking downtown yesterday, and saw a brandnew mercedes benz that had overhetaed and dumped all the coolant.

 

I thought that was pretty funny.

[PBBPaul]

I'm on my 9th Ford and have nothing but good to say about 'em. I have a friend who's a GM truck kinda guy and he loves to rip on Fords. When his truck isn't in the shop for yet another transmission.

 

My auto-biography:

'69 Cadillac Sedan de Ville (the best car one could have in High School)

'74 Pontiac Lemans (very fast car)

'78 Olds (and my last GM - what a POS!)

'87 Ford Tempo Sport (My first Ford and first new car. 90k miles with only a bad fuel filter assembly)

'89 Mustang (Decent car but my ex wife kept driving it into things bigger than it)

'91 Escort GT (Great commuter car and a blast to drive. No problems of any kind)

'92 Aerostar (150k miles, no problems)

'93 Taurus (fine when I drove it, my ex took it with her so I don't know how it ended up)

'97 Aerostar (165k miles, a ball-joint replacement was the only repair)

'00 Explorer (current vehicle with 124k miles, sticky door lock has been the only repair so far)

[Gabriel E.]

Originally posted by The Studio Pet-Rock:

Don't buy things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.

Yes!

 

In my last job I trained franchisees for a coffee chain. I'd also drive them around to a few stores and to the roasting plant. I had one franchisee who was a pompous ass. She complained about how cramped my Civic was/is and less-than-casually mentioned that she was used to all the room and comforts her Escalade provided.

 

I was more than a little pleased when she went bankrupt before her store ever opened.