OT - Governmentium

[Botch.]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of

the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named

"Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75

deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic

mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which

are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can

be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into

contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to

take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a

second.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,

but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the

assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,

governmentium'mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization

will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to

believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain

quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as

"Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes

Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium

since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Base]

[the stranger]

[BLAblablah]

But even the Peons get great benefits...

Barry

[henrysb3]

Here in Kansas, we have a legislature that has suffered radiation burns in the presence of Governmentium. From that, a support group came into being: C.A.V.E. - Citizens Against Virtually Everything. The C.A.V.E. people have created a therapy called Special Session. You don't want to know.

 

Henry

[Tedster]

I like the idea of C.A.V.E.

 

Sadly, I'm all too familiar with governmentium.

[Super 8]

I think theres a governmentium on my lawn! What should I do!?!?

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Super 8:

I think theres a governmentium on my lawn! What should I do!?!?

Tell your neighbor to keep his dog in his OWN yard...

[KB Gunn]

Official Announcement:

 

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM

because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

 

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a

bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

[Funk Jazz]

ah, governmentium

[the stranger]

Originally posted by KB Gunn:

Official Announcement:

 

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM

because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

 

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a

bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

A great addition to this scientific endeavor.