Thinking of giving up 😥

[b3plyr]

A few more (some repetitive):

 

- Don't beat yourself up! You are your own worst critic and believe it or not, you are better than you think.

- Play within your current abilities. A simple part played well is much better than a complicated part played poorly.

- If you like to read, get a copy of "Effortless Mastery" by Kenny Werner. It might help you deal with your self imposed limits.

- The idea never should be the best musician - simply be the best contributor you can.

 

Good luck and stay with it!

 

[D. Gauss]

if they'll have you, when possible, always be the worst musician in the group you are in.  sooo much better than the opposite.

[Jose EB5AGV]

Many thanks for all the advice, I am deeply grateful to all of you for sharing your experiences and your views on this topic. I am going to do my best to improve my playing and, really, having a band to play on is an (undeserved) blessing for me.

 

BTW, yesterday I played with a group of friends (we are building also a more casual band), with different degrees of musical knowledge, but lots closer to where I am now. And, as some of you commented, that is also a good thing to do. So I am set for learning and enjoying music! 🤩

 

Again, BIG thanks! 🫂

 

Jose

[TommyRude]

Another perspective.  I 'quit' a long time ago, and took a corporate path.  In that world - which is very far away from being a musician - there were actually some common threads.  I found that the "how" you do things is as equally important as the "what".  The "what" is the skills, training, technical ability, the "how" is how you get it done.  The "how" refers a lot to how you interact with others as you're executing the what.

 

Your bandmates will place high importance on the how.  If you listen to what they're saying, and consistently demonstrate that you listened and took action on their comments & suggestions - they will likely rate you highly on the how.  Getting rated highly on the how indicates a level of trust and respect, and that will generally overcome any problems with the what.  If you do good on the how, and continue to improve on the what, you're in good shape.

 

Don't ignore the how.

 

 

[Adam Burgess]

Not read the whole thread, but some random thoughts…

If it was easy, everyone would do it and it wouldn't be as special.

It can be tough, and you can only get better by playing with people better than you. Let them drag you along and be proud of you.

 

If you play well, and simply - nothing will be so horrendous that you would ever get fired for. 

Don't be afraid to just play a shaker on a tune if you can't find a part to fit.

Any good musicians worth playing with will encourage you.

Bonus points if the bandleader can give you guidelines if you're stuck for things to do.

Musically, and for reasons of texture/timbre, there's so much a simple pad in the right range can enhance a guitar/sax solo. A one note string line soaring over the top of a busy arrangement can lock the whole sound together.

That one fill which covers just the right 3 seconds of a four minute tune as 'a flash of brilliance' is worth it.

You will 'plateau' regarding 'ability', but one day - things you longed to do become easy. Takes time and practice. But, know what you're longing for.

From the posts of yours I've read, you're diligent, use pro equipment, care about what you bring to the band and sound.
I'm sure that you turn up prepared as you can be, on time, and are fun to play with. These things matter lots!!

[Jose EB5AGV]

Today I have been talking with a keys player, just one year younger than myself, who has been playing since he was 15 (so close to 40 years!), and has opened my mind about playing. He has worked out most of his abilities by listening and playing, no specific musical training at all (BTW, I attend piano and music lessons weekly, and plan to continue with them)

 

We shared some things, like having a complex melody usually "playing" in our mind and having some ability to play by ear. Of course, he has 40 years of experience against my 5 years. But it shows that I can get better by doing what I use to do: listen plenty of music and play along songs. And, of course, playing with other musicians will also help me to improve.

 

All in all, with all the impulse I have got by him and on this thread, I am now in a lots more positive mood than I was 🥳

 

Thanks! 🫂

 

Jose

[Sean M. H.]

Glad OP seems to be in a better headspace about this!

 

I play in a wide variety of musical situations, and encounter all different sorts of "hierarchies" in terms of skills/experience.   For some of my R&B or cover band gigs, I'm the de facto MD in those bands, as the guy who (arguably) has the most know-how in those settings...on the flipside, I've done a couple of stage plays (pit work if you will) where I was by far the "weakest" musician there in terms of experience, sight-reading etc.  Heck, in some of the gospel settings I play in, there are guys who only play keys as a 2nd or 3rd instrument, who still do things that I can't do on the organ!

 

Much of what I would say about this topic has already been said.  But I'll just say:

 

1.  Don't care who you are, there will always be someone who comes along that is "better" (which is a silly term to begin with)...it's like trying to be the biggest guy in a gym...there's always gonna be someone bigger that comes along!

 

2.  There's value in all gigs: the gigs where you are one of the more inexperienced players help to open your mind/ears, learn new approaches, pick up different things by osmosis, etc...as you grow and you start being one of the "better" players in different situations (it WILL happen at some point), you learn other skills: arranging, leadership, working with various personalities, etc.

 

3.  I can almost assure you, you're not nearly as "bad" as you think you are.  Keep in mind, if you have played gig(s), you've already made it to the point where you're doing something the vast majority of people can't do!

 

4.  As you continue to play, you will develop your own "voice" which will completely reframe what it means to be a "better" player.  Rather than thinking hotshot Player X is better than you because you cannot play what they play, it will dawn on you that they cannot play what you play either!  Not because they aren't technically capable, but because Player X simply would not make the same note choices that you make.  You'll realize that nobody can play like you, better than you!  There's value in that, no matter what your technical shortcomings--and we all have them--might be.

 

5.  Less is more...especially if you're playing a bunch of tunes that may not have had keys in the original versions.  Don't be afraid to lay out during certain parts of the song where it doesn't make sense to play anything.   Or play a subtle pad sound that will sort of stay out of the way of everything else, while still creating some warmth and harmonic content...in other words, try to play the "right stuff," not just "more stuff"

 

 

Editing to add one more (which has already been mentioned)...

 

6. In my experience, "chops" is not even the most important factor in terms of gigging musicians (at least at the weekend warrior level--probably different for hardcore professionals who tour for a living)...it might not even be top 3 most important considerations...if the player is event decent skill-wise, I'd say availability, reliability and attitude are all at least equally important, if not moreso.