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Hey Gulliver, have you heard this one?

 

Girlfriend and Wife 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

 

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

 

The features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:

 

- A"Don't remind me again" button

- Minimize button

- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.

An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware

probe feature to be much more useful.

 

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable

traces of the application in the system.

 

Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

 

BUG WARNING

 

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

 

BUG WORK-AROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

 

Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

 "Let It Be!"

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Bugzilla is a great bug-tracking interface. I've used it with several companies. Say you have engineers in Tokyo, engineers in Silicon Valley, and beta testers around the world. You can all log into a live-update database with tons of parameters you can set up in advance. It will provide varying levels of reports to different people based on password logins.

 

It's cool if you're buiolding a big technology product.

 

- Jeff

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Originally posted by fantasticsound:

Originally posted by KHAN ROK:

I thought it was the Micro$oft version of Mozilla.

What humility! I was about to mention to KcBass that you posted that Wife 1.0 joke a few years ago! ;) (At least I thought it was you, Khan. :freak: )
I thought it sounded familar, I just thought Gulliver would like to hear it. I'm honored that you have a memory of me!

:thu: Kcbass

 "Let It Be!"

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