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O/T Gigging in Scotland


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Gig in a busy Scottish coastal venue connected with Golf. Full of Oil Riggers, young girls, old girls, tables getting knocked over with the craziness and dancing.


Im driving the band in this new fancy thing the drummer has that talks to you and knows its raining, its night time, phones home for you but no proper keys. You unlock it and theres a big on off switch no keys needed.


I usher the guys out to find the drummer (five foot eight) trying to drag this amazon of a woman, tall, zumba body, nunchuks for earrings whos in the car trying to start it. Shes screaming Help, help, hes trying to steal my mums car, hes taken my keys.


I have to head off some Oil Riggers who were about to give him a beating just showed them the drum kit already packed in the back.


Rest of the band arrive out and theres now two of them fighting trying to drag her out of the car. Thankfully she doesnt seem to know that all you need to do is hit that on switch and shes off.


Police arrive. I cant get talking to them as theyre breaking up what is now a two short men vs one tall crazy fit woman brawl. Shes at the Its my car the whole time.


Police get her pinned against the wall. I get in and am about to drive off when I notice the boys are sitting on her coat in the back. Theyre shouting she deserves it Im the only one sober and shes someones crazy daughter and its Scotland and its cold. I drag it out from under them and take it to a female police officer who asks where I got it. Back of the car I tell her. Shes now eyeing me very suspiciously as I get in to drive off.


Mad crazy woman is now just shouting its my car but not being violent. Shes calmed down enough that the police no longer have her pinned to the wall. I start the car and the drummer (his car) winds down the window and Im expecting him to thank the police and say thats us off and instead he shouts over


Hen. Hen. Does it take diesel or petrol? Do you ken the code for the radio?


I finally got home at 5 am.


I'm the piano player "off of" Borrowed Books.
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