LiveMusic Posted November 19, 2001 Share Posted November 19, 2001 I just wonder if anyone has had this problem or what you think about it. I started writing songs about a month ago and I've written close to 20. I've shown my girlfriend most of them but not all. Last night, I showed her a new one and just 'knew' she would love it because I think it's well written. She assumed the song was written about us and got all p.o.'d. about one of the lines in the song. First of all, the line is very true about our relationship and ANY relationship. The line was "I even had to fake it" and it related to a couple who is fighting. (We have been fighting but it's better now.) Now she can't tell me every person in a relationship doesn't 'fake it' sometimes just to keep the peace. We all do. We swallow our pride sometimes and just keep our mouths shut -- we 'fake it.' But anyway, she got her panties all in a wad over it. Second, that line or any line in any song I have written may or may not be about her or us. That particular song started out as being about us but then I kicked it into another gear and got thoughts from other relationships I've had over the years. Which brings up another twist. I wrote ANOTHER song (which she has not seen) and it's about my last relationship. I am OVER that girl. But the song says I am not. Heck, I'm just writing a song. (We split 7 years ago!) I put myself into the emotional state I was in even before I met my current girlfriend. I think it's a great song. But I am afraid to show it to my girl. I'll bet she'll think I still want the other girl. Sheesh! What do songwriters do? Can you relate? I can see how this might become a huge problem. Especially with another song I wrote that I just ADORE. It's called "Hormone Hell" and man, it's catchy. Most women will laugh at it but I'm sure there will be the occasional one that gets all mad about any kind of men-don't-understand-women talk. Of course, that might include my girl. She might love it. But she might hate it. Because there is NO doubt, that song sprang from being with her. The girl has had the devil in her lately. I actually feel sorry for her (AND ME) because it's been so freakin' bizarre. > > > [ Live! ] < < < Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve LeBlanc Posted November 19, 2001 Share Posted November 19, 2001 She assumed the song was written about us and got all p.o.'d. about one of the lines in the song Dude, RUN!!! Never look back...there's better chicks out there...really. http://www.youtube.com/notesleb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stanner Posted November 19, 2001 Share Posted November 19, 2001 ~GO INSTRO~ AMPSSOUNDBETTERLOUDER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seclusion Posted November 19, 2001 Share Posted November 19, 2001 Ya I'm even in there a bit deeper than that.. My wife writes the lyric to my songwriting.. Most of the time I sorta have a direction, I go off talkin bout past, present, what if senerio's and Leigh(the wife) thinks I'm strayin.. One I wrote about "wonderin where you are".. Just on a hint of an ex just hopin she's okay blah, blah blah.. Of course it was assumed that if I saw her on the street I'd "do" her right then.. I does work with us though.. Comunication can be hard sometimes.. But that's what ya gotta do.. It's always nice to get the other perspective.. It'll work if ya want it to. Brian Smile if you're not wearin panties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve LeBlanc Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 At the risk of sounding cornball, my love for her is too overwhelming of a subject to try to condense into a 3 1/2 minute song. I'm not being facetious or using a cop out here -- I'm totally serious. I can relate 100%. http://www.youtube.com/notesleb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Tell her, "That song wasn't really about you, it's just a story I made up". Then write one about being abducted by aliens in an Iowa cornfield and tell her THAT one's about her. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rog951 Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 It's SO important to find a S.O. that's understanding about this stuff. If she/he isn't, it'll stifle your creativity to the point that it's not even worth the effort. I know, cuz I've had a girlfriend that wasn't and I wrote nothing but a bunch of garbage that I knew she'd approve of for the four years we were together (don't ask why it took so long to escape). Now I've got one that's completely cool about it and it's like someone turned the lights on for the first time. Life sucks when you have to curb your creativity or hide its fruits from the person you most care about... None more black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Songwriting is USUALLY only hazardous to relationships because of the time that it requires. Methinks the lady doth protest too much! Besides, lack of songwriting is hazardous to your mental health. I'd rather be alone than crazy! Most songwriters, or writers of any sort, draw upon personal experiences to write about global, overriding truths. We all have unique experiences, but there is a sense of commonality in those experience that we can all share. Think about a TV comedy show. A character has an important interview or a big date. They get all dress up, then a taxi splashes mud all over them. We cringe, because even if it's never happened to us, we know that it COULD. We identify with the general, rather than the particular. If not, we would react. After all, it wasn't us that got splashed on the way to an interview. Who cares, right? WRONG! Empathy is what links us in the human experience. Ask you girlfriend about one of her favorite songs. Why does she like it? The singer has never met her. He's not singing to her or about her. Yet, she can feel passionately about the song. Tell her that that's what you're doing, you're writing songs about general ideas, not particular experiences that the two of you have had together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjunkie Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 originally posted by stanner: ~GO INSTRO~ that worked for me, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Leites Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Originally posted by LiveMusic: "I even had to fake it" Huh? What are you faking? That's her job! http://www.freakygamers.com/smilies/s/contrib/dvv/cwmddd.gif Try lyrics like, "Please Mister Custard, I don't want to go", and "Ooo eee ooo ah ah, ting tang, wahla wahla bing bang", oops, aged myself again. http://www.freakygamers.com/smilies/s/contrib/ruinkai/dazeda.gif My Web Site - Tunes - Pictures - Guitar Projects - Native American Style Flute Projects - Hard Rock Cafe Guitar Pins My Eclectic YouTube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m2 Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Try writing songs WITH your girlfriend!!! Then the shit REALLY hit de fan!! Macle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m2 Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Originally posted by LiveMusic: Especially with another song I wrote that I just ADORE. It's called "Hormone Hell" and man, it's catchy.....The girl has had the devil in her lately. I actually feel sorry for her (AND ME) because it's been so freakin' bizarre. Hey, me gurrrlfriend and me got a song similar to this (called Rag) so I feel yer pain!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skip_dup1 Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Write the songs just as they are-after that you got three options: 1. Keep em on file till your next relationship-then they`re history (the songs, that is...) 2. If this is your life partner for life, show her the song and say, `if we`re really meant for each other it shouldn`t matter`-women do that a LOT... 3. Be a total sneak and record under another name I would seriously consider #3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Yeah, that song "Rag" is great, Macle... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrix Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 I too can relate. After my wife noticed that I did not write about her I wrote a song titled "Not done lovin you". Silly me- I assumed she'd love it. As it turns out, in getting the verses to work, I ended up using a reference to high school. However, we met in college. Of course she then assumed the song was about my ex. This was a bad thing. I give up. Since there is often some autobiographical content in the songs she had assumed they can be taken literally. Even if I say "its just the end result of a random walk through the creative process" she asssumed I was uncounsiously writing about my deepest feelings. What helped her to get past this was sharing with her a few songs as they developed. Sometimes the lyrics start with just a seed and take several twists and turns before being finalized. Once she observed this process she was less prone to inappropriate interpretation. However, it sounds to me like you still have the hots for your ex. Check out some tunes here: http://www.garageband.com/artist/KenFava Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m2 Posted November 21, 2001 Share Posted November 21, 2001 Originally posted by Tedster: Yeah, that song "Rag" is great, Macle... Hey Tedster, thanks! Macle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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