Are musicians reliable.....are you?

[Jazzman]

A friend of mine was to come over to lay some tracks on my Da88's and never called.....I called him and he said he was sorry and would come over the following weekend. Waited for him to call to confirm the time......left the weekend open......never showed up or called. Called him back to see what had happened and he had some issues at home, and said for sure he would be over this comming weekend.

 

What gives with all of us anyway.......lazy...bad day......inconsiderate to others....feel your life is more important.......WHAT! What are friends for.

 

Jazzman

[djarrett]

Typically, I find that if someone does not value your time, then they do not even value their own time. OR WORSE, they value their time more than yours and are not afraid for you to know that.

Either way, it is totally inconsiderate. If he calls back, I would decline his offer to come over. Tell him that you just had to find someone that was more reliable regarding time commitments. You should be able to word this in a way that gets the point across without ticking the guy off.

 

DJ

[DrummerCafe]

I run into this ALL the time.

 

It's tough to deal with when it's a friend or colleague. I just make a point to mention (several times) that they need to contact me if they can't make it, need to re-schedule, confirm the date, etc.

 

I don't teach a lot of students, and have no regularly scheduled students. But when I used to keep a full schedule, it was easy to deal with this topic because I would just charge the student if they didn't show up. I even had a little contract drawn up which stated Professional people require 24 hour notice for cancellations. If they don't follow the rules, the pay for the lesson. I was always very understanding when it came to family emergencies, and explained that in the contract too. But when this is your livelihood, it's important to set the record straight.

 

I would encourage you to not wait on your friend in the future. Let him/her know that you have things to do and just can't sit around and wait for them to show up or call. Set a time and provide a deadline with which they need to respond to you by. If they don't meet the deadline, then you are free to do what you want and make other plans. I think you can do this in a nice way. I do it all the time and it seems to work.

 

It's a shame that you even have to talk about this. I always used to assume that people would just be considerate of me and my time ... but not all are.

 

I used to teach drums/perc/theory/music tech at Christ For The Nations Institute ... which had a LOT of International students. Talk about not sticking to the schedule. International students were the worst about this because many of them come from cultures which don't live by the clock like we do here in the US. This is both good and bad. Good that they are not driven and controlled by a fast paced life ... Bad that they are unorganized and can never get anything done if you don't have some sort of schedule. I could get very specific with this, but some may view it as racist ... so I'll just leave it as is. I can tell you that the International people who lived in the US for any length of time would go nuts when their buddies came over to the US. They used to gripe more than me as their friends may show up one or two hours late ... or even a day or more late. THIS IS NO EXAGGERATION.

 

So next time, just call and bug them; you shouldn't have to do that ... but it's YOUR time they are abusing if you sit around and wait. If you call enough, most sane people will get the idea that you like to stay organized. They may think you are too anal ... but who cares ... it's YOUR TIME.

[Jazzman]

DJ and Bart....thanks for the mental help, I agree with the both of you.

 

I always give the benifit of the doubt to these folks, but I have been known to do similar actions as you have stated Bart. The guy's a good horn player and had some issues at home. When I called him up I had a long conversation with him and he appologized to me and the light bulb went on over the phone....I hope this changes from know on. Time is of the essence for me.

 

It is the commitment that I'm looking for from people. I love music, and almost obsessed with it, and maybe I expect the same from other musicians.....Isn't that why they picked up the instrument anyway??

 

Jazzman