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I Lost One of My Best Friends....


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I've spoke about my friend having been diagnosed with cancer quite some time ago on the forums. Yesterday I went in to work to see her photo posted on the time clock as having passed away. :cry: Her funeral is to be held on Saturday; I'm scheduled to work, but I believe I will be allowed to take annual to attend the services.

 

We've not been able to socialize much since she moved her shift to the all night, and we rarely crossed paths for the past several months; but the friendship was still very strong and the last time we bumped into each other on the workroom floor we hugged each other. There were a lot of wierd glances from people that have never seen me show emotion on the job; but I didn't care and neither did she.

 

This is one person that I can say TRULY made a huge difference in my life and helped me turn my life back around. I've always been a leader in many things on my job, and in being such, I've always tried not to allow my personal issues to become a part of my professional life. Treena, in being my partner for quite some time, read through the hard core surface and was able to reach inside to touch the trembling little girl that was running scared. She could see herself in me and the things that she had endured from times before.

 

She would listen to my words and then she would pay attention to how I would react in situations; completely opposite from that which I said I wanted to happen. I was in a relationship with a man that was manipulating my decisions; a man that everyone on the job expected to see me marry. Treena finally spoke up one day while I was house shopping. She knew that I had lived out in the Northland area for half of my life and that I was quite fond of the North; yet Mark was insisting that I seek a home in the far South end of the city. Grandview, a place that I despised, was Mark's neighborhood and he was insisting that I narrow the gap of travel so that commuting would be easier. Treena had heard me tell Mark that I hated Grandview, and when I told her that I had an appointment to view some homes out South, she couldn't bite her lip anymore.

 

In a very subtle way she said, "I thought you didn't like Grandview", I replied, "I don't" and of course she followed with the question, "Then WHY are you looking at homes out that way?" Myself, speechless, then got a lecture on how I was too accommodating and she told me to make HIM come to ME if he wanted to narrow the gap. Of course, his idea of coming to me was suggesting that he MOVE IN with me and help out with the bills.... NOT, something that I was ready to allow to happen.

 

Treena had been there as a friend through the tail end of my divorce and had witnessed a lot of the hardships I had gone through. Without getting real vocal and butting in a whole lot; she turned me on to some self-help books. She brought me a book titled, "Love is a Choice" by Minrith and Myers, and also "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" I was not that impressed with "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" because I felt that the man that wrote the book classified women as those that were KEPT and had never had to work a day in their life; spoiled little Barbie type women. However, the other book hit home real hard.... Love is a Choice flung some doors wide open and really caused me to start completely re-evaluating my position on life as a whole.

 

Treena and I would go to the park almost daily during lunch hour and walk the track. While not saying a whole lot that often, both of us knew that there was a mutual bond that we shared; having both been there.... Treena had shared a few of her marital horrors with me and I knew that she was far too good of a woman to have had to endure some of the things in which she experienced. I admired her Godliness and looked up to her as a mentor in life; she was a very strong woman... and a scared little girl that never let her feelings show on the surface. I was sad when she bid a different tour because I knew that we wouldn't be able to communicate nearly as much.

 

While my father and step mother tended to still be locked up in the ages of bigotry; I had a birthday party for my son and invited Treena and her children. She knew the stuffed nose nonsense that I had been raised with; but attended anyway in knowing that I had told my family that there would be a black woman, one of my best friends, and her children in attendance at the BD party. She also knew that I had told my entire family that if ANY ONE of them had a problem in being in the company of a black woman, that they would be better off not to come at all.

 

I had told Treena that if ever I should marry again, that I would be honored to have her stand by my side as Maitron of Honor. She knew that I meant every word of it.

 

These are very, VERY sad times for me.

 

I wrote a song for her, back while we were still partners, and I gave it to her in token of our friendship. Someday maybe I'll re-record it and send it to her father and children. If I had time between now and the funeral I would do it, but with my son's colonoscopy scheduled for today in combination with all of the overtime I've been working, I doubt there will be any time to pull all of my equipment together to get the task done by Saturday.

 

Thanks for letting me share... my heart is breaking right now for the loss of someone very dear to me.

You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man.

 

Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon

 

Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music"

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I'm glad she was such a good friend to you, Ani. Please accept my condolences.

 

Do you have the old recording of the song on your website? Someone around here might be able to record it for you before this weekend, if you don't mind someone else's voice singing it. (Hint, hint.)

 

RIP, Treena.

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman

 

Soundclick

fntstcsnd

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Originally posted by fantasticsound:

I'm glad she was such a good friend to you, Ani. Please accept my condolences.

 

Do you have the old recording of the song on your website? Someone around here might be able to record it for you before this weekend, if you don't mind someone else's voice singing it. (Hint, hint.)

 

RIP, Treena.

I've never converted to a digital format; it's still analogue. But I did locate the master, although I haven't listened to see what the quality is. I don't have any time right now to do anything at all because my son is due at the hospital for 12:30 check in time. If things go okay, maybe I can get back in time to at least burn it to digital and post it up.

 

Thanks a whole lot for your offer Neil, it's really appreciated. For now, I've got to go.

You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man.

 

Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon

 

Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music"

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Ani, you have my sincerest condolences. I've just been informed that my best buddy's stepdaughter, only 28 years old, passed away from non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

 

:cry::cry:

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Ani, what can I say but I am sorry to hear about your loss. :(

Please please feel to call me or IM me any time of the day and night if you just want to let some of your emotions out and please take care of yourself. We are all with you at this time.

 

Love

 

Sharmin

x

 

Ted, thois is very sad :( I send you my best as always and as I said to Ani, you know to call me if you need to and I will listen.

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At times like this I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have experienced someone rather thatn how unlucky I am not to be able to experience someone anymore.

 

Teena influenced you, Ani, and therefore a piece of her continues to live on. Through you, she visited this forum tonight...people may pass away, but fortunately, the good ones leave a good legacy behind them. Praise that legacy, and be thankful that it's still here, even if her physical self isn't.

 

And I bet you're not the only person she influenced in a positive way, making the fact that she did exist that much better, and that much more worthy of celebration.

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Thanks again everyone! Ever feel like you've got the whole world on your shoulders??? Spent forever at the hospital with my son; they found a Polyp on the inside of his lower intestine at 14 years old. Also, they said that he had some type of an irritation in his upper intestinal track that they had never witnessed on a child that young. They took a biopsy of the polyp and then removed it (I guess by laser surgery) I guess I'm going to have to wrestle with my Insurance company because when I went to fill my son's prescription; both my card and the insurance provided by the ex were declined. The medication is $210.00 a bottle :eek: , but definitely something he is going to need to recover. I'm guessing that the Insurance company is questioning why a 14 YEAR OLD kid would be needing old peoples' medication and maybe wondering if there's some kind of fraudulent claim being attempted. I'm going to have to call and raise hell tomorrow as to what's going on. The money we pay out on these policies and then they want to jack you at every turn. :mad: Anyway, I was hoping to spend some time on this tonight, but it's already 1:15 and I'll have to be up at 5:00 to head out for a 12 hour day. With all that's going on with my son; it's hard to focus on the other right now... too much is hitting me all at once.

 

Here are the words to the song I wrote...

 

Tell It Like It Is

(A Real Friend)

 

I'm going to find myself, just you wait and see

It won't be long before you know the real me

 

Yours is the knife that pierced my heart and made me bleed

But sometimes the cold hard truth is exactly what we need

 

It takes a real friend

To tell it like it is

No room for misconception

To tear away those layers of stone

That we've built around our heart

 

It takes a real friend

To tell it like it is

To show us our reflection

Someone who can break the chains

And help us find a brand new start

 

It takes a real friend

To tell it like it is

 

You handed me a book to read; there was pain in what I read

Sometimes the strongest message comes when words are left unsaid

 

You reached beyond my arrogance; found a way around my pride

Sensed what I was heading for; found a way to get inside

 

Chorus repeat

 

copyright 1998 Anita F. Kronk

You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man.

 

Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon

 

Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music"

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I know I'm a bit late with this (I wasn't around yesterday - too much heaped upon me at once)....

 

My deepest condolences to you and your friend's family, Ani. Remember happier times.

 

Cheers!

Spencer

"I prefer to beat my opponents the old-fashioned way....BRUTALLY!!!!"
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