KenElevenShadows Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Oh, yes, and he mentioned that he is really passionate about music, but I can't remember how he worded it. BTW, Doug's ad sounds pretty good because he makes people realize that he's got a lot of things going on and has a life, but is happy to make time for someone if that someone is special. Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 If you meet someone from the Czech Republic and you end up marrying them, would that qualify as a Czech mate? The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Flier Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 ARGGHH Dan. BTW I don't mind, personally, seeing an ad that includes stuff like "NOT into NASCAR." A lot of those types of things are 1) humorous, and 2) informative about the person in some way. I like guys who have a good idea of who they are AND who they are not! So I wouldn't shy away from putting a bit of that kind of thing in so long as it doesn't dominate the ad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeon Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Yeah, but Lee, you are a reasonable person! cheers, aeon Go tell someone you love that you love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 The ad read: "not interested in guys who play games." I said, "Forget it! No woman is going to make me stop playing Monopoly!" The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodlakesound Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 http://homepage.mac.com/woodlakesound/.Pictures/Cory&Maria.JPG We met through friendfinders. I scooped her up almost as soon as she posted. I was extremely lucky admitedly. She's a very hard working and accomplished artist and I a slovenly lazy loafing musician, which seems to work suprisingly well together. She's also easy going, which is by far one of the most important qualities for me. And...getting married in May. We're both 50 and ready to settle into home life. It worked for us safe to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anifa Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Okay, digging up a thread from the "almost" dead. During some of the discussions that have gone on inside of this thread and the other thread relative to the same topic; my curiosity was piqued. The kids are with their dad tonight, and I had a bit of free time on my hands, so I decided to browse one of the "personals" sites just to see what it was like; that meant "I" had to put up a profile myself to gain access to view the ads. I purposely built my profile so NOT to get replies because I'm not seeking internet romance; I'm just curious as to what all the hype is about. YOU GUYS HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!! RIGHT??? .... REALLY, I mean, this is a joke RIGHT??? I spent about an hour browsing through different ads while reading profiles of men between the ages of 40 and 55. At first I done a search "locally" since relocation would be impossible for me; then after seeing the sparse selection of men within respectable commuting distance (weekend drive), I opted to open the category for anywhere. On many of them, I just read the heading on the profile and busted out laughing... sort of like "you've got to be kidding" humor. I was in complete disbelief over some of the things that were being suggested. I guess if I was a real "swinger" I'd fit right in... Geez, you've got it ALL on those type sites; hedonism, hillbilly joe in NYC , the happily married man who is discontent with his sex life... but he's happy and just looking for a married woman to explore cheaters' alley with him , then you've got the dude that wants to WATCH while you get it on with his [insert vomit emoticon here]. Those that weren't perverts, jerks, or creeps; were dorks. I like those overly confident HE-MEN that boast about how they easily attract women... [insert choke-on-vomit, roll-over-and-play-dead-face-down-in-it emoticon here] Needless to say, tonight has been entertaining in reading some of the lines that men come up with, without being in their line of fire and the target of their "passionate" appeal. I think that I should start an online connection service called "The MEET Market". That's sort of the feel I got while browsing that site; a virtual Meat Market where you can MEET just about any type of person you should seek oh boy!!! I'll probably leave my cantankerous profile up for a few days and then delete it. You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man. Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeon Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Ani: you don't mention what site(s) you visited. in any case, have you ever checked out eHarmony? very different vibe there, or so I have been told. but hey, at least those people were being very up-front about what they wanted...I am sure the people who are looking for those things are grateful for that...and there *are* people looking for those things. consider too that the women who run ads also use plenty of imaginative ad copy that ranges from charming to unsettling to deceptive. and last, never forget that what may be perverted to you may be someone else's boring vanilla (assuming all parties involved render consent, of course). be well,aeon Go tell someone you love that you love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOKUMDANO Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 When I think about online dating/matchmaking, I get a vivid image of Napoleon Dynamite's brother at the computer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Ani, Be careful. Even though you designed your profile to discourage replies, women have told me that lots of guys use a shotgun approach and send notes to every woman who signs up hoping desperately for a nibble. Many apparently don't check qualifications, age, location, etc., they just spam their way through the females on the site. As far as dorks go, keep in mind that an online dating service is likely to be weighted toward people who are shy and/or socially uncomfortable, just as clubs are weighted toward people who are more outgoing. Unfortunately, that leaves YOU to screen the borderline sociopaths from the rank and file nice guy Star Trek addicts. The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug osborne Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Originally posted by BOOKUMDANO: When I think about online dating/matchmaking, I get a vivid image of Napoleon Dynamite's brother at the computer. Yes, but if you watched the extras on the DVD, you know that they got married a year later (a very, very funny extra). Peace out... Doug Osborne Music on Bandcamp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug osborne Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Originally posted by Ani: ... On many of them, I just read the heading on the profile and busted out laughing... sort of like "you've got to be kidding" humor. I was in complete disbelief over some of the things that were being suggested. I guess if I was a real "swinger" I'd fit right in... Geez, you've got it ALL on those type sites; hedonism, hillbilly joe in NYC , the happily married man who is discontent with his sex life... but he's happy and just looking for a married woman to explore cheaters' alley with him , then you've got the dude that wants to WATCH while you get it on with his [insert vomit emoticon here]. Those that weren't perverts, jerks, or creeps; were dorks. I like those overly confident HE-MEN that boast about how they easily attract women... [insert choke-on-vomit, roll-over-and-play-dead-face-down-in-it emoticon here] ...But you are going too far out of your way to find the outrageous extreme examples. Not necessarily representative or fair. Then again, I did recommend that Bluestrat never, ever read other guys' profiles... OK, here is one I posted for a week when I was pissed off (got quite a few responses, too!): Someone who doesn't wish she is in New York, isn't looking for a sugar daddy, doesn't care what people drive, isn't a drama queen, diva, or princess (sheesh, you're not all that), isn't desperate that you won't find a man because you are over forty, isn't a scary cat lady, isn't looking for a sugar daddy, doesn't judge people by the car they drive, isn't ashamed of having a profile on a dating site, doesn't have a favorite WWE wrestler or NASCAR driver, doesn't have fake breasts, doesn't obsess over that last five pounds, isn't petrified by yesterday or tomorrow, isn't afraid to indulge her senses... Doug Osborne Music on Bandcamp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdlestat Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I've never found a mate online...but I have seen some people mating online. Does that count? It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. --Aristotle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Strat Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 As far as dorks go, keep in mind that an online dating service is likely to be weighted toward people who are shy and/or socially uncomfortable, just as clubs are weighted toward people who are more outgoing. Unfortunately, that leaves YOU to screen the borderline sociopaths from the rank and file nice guy Star Trek addicts.This is my whole fuckin' problem in a nutshell. I'm going to go jump off my roof now. BlueStrat a.k.a. "El Guapo" ...Better fuzz through science... http://geocities.com/teleman28056/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Strat Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Ok, seriously, I have a total lack of self confidence with respect to dating. Hell, I've can't even seem to ever walk up to a woman and introduce myself. I know that I've got to try if I expect to get anywhere, but I can't bring myself to do it; I'm too apprehensive and anxious. What can I do to improve my confidence? I've tried psycho-theropy, I've tried self-help stuff, but I just can't seem to ever do what I need to do. Can I just say, "SHIT!!!"? BlueStrat a.k.a. "El Guapo" ...Better fuzz through science... http://geocities.com/teleman28056/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug osborne Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 It's a numbers game. You stand zero chance of going out with a woman if you don't introduce yourself, and something more than zero if you do. Just smile and say "Hi!" (which is essentially all a dating profile can do). Doug Osborne Music on Bandcamp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenElevenShadows Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Originally posted by bluestrat: Ok, seriously, I have a total lack of self confidence with respect to dating. Hell, I've can't even seem to ever walk up to a woman and introduce myself. I know that I've got to try if I expect to get anywhere, but I can't bring myself to do it; I'm too apprehensive and anxious. Something you could do is to simply practice striking up a conversation with anyone. Just be really friendly and talk about whatever. This way you get in practice so that conversation creates less anxiety and feels much more natural. The suggestion here is not for you to hit on everyone, but simply to practice making fun conversation and that's all. And try humor. Be confident and funny - it's easier for the person to respond and it exudes confidence, something that a lot of women respond to favorably. But the main thing is just to have fun while practicing striking up conversations. Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anifa Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Be careful. Even though you designed your profile to discourage replies, women have told me that lots of guys use a shotgun approach and send notes to every woman who signs up hoping desperately for a nibble. Many apparently don't check qualifications, age, location, etc., they just spam their way through the females on the site. Thank you Dan! I'm not looking to meet any guys that shop at the online Meat Market; not my cup of tea. I was never one to hang in the bars, and really, online dating has about the same lack of appeal to me as what being a bar fly would have.... NOT MY CUP OF TEA!!! My Brother-in-Law has been a Correctional Officer at a maximum securtity prison and if people only knew how many people on the other end of the love line online are convicts; they might have serious second thoughts about disclosing any information whatsoever about themselves. I signed up under a Yahoo account that can be deleted at any time. I guess I just wanted to satisfy a curiosity of mine that had been nagging at me. I had ran a search on the name of someone that at one time had my interest, and his name turned up in an ICQ profile.... It surprised me, but then again.... who really knows anybody anymore. With all this talk about online romance and stuff, I thought maybe my preconceived perception of love connection sites might have been unfair; now I know better. Anyway, how many Mats Olsson's, Dan South's, Dak's, 20to20's, and Craig Anderton's are out there hanging on date.com sites? Too bad that many of the good men in the real world have already been scooped up or they are far to far away to pursue an interest. When you are SEEKING to find love, you're most likely going to ignore the important elements and focus more on the glitter and glitz. It's easy to marvel at all the beauty during the beginning of a budding romance, but trying to keep a rose alive once you pick it from the garden usually leaves the rose crumbling in your hands. Once the fragrance is gone and the petals are shriveled and dried; there's not much else to do to keep things alive. The whole concept is not to "PICK" and choose, but rather to plant yourself near to someone and let your love grow together year after year side by side. I haven't changed my ideas any about online dating; in fact, I have reaffirmed my position by browsing through some of the personals. What the amusing part is, is the fact that you get to hear all the lines all at once. For those of us that have been away from the "dating" scene for quite some time due to marriage, kids, or whatever.... it's sort of educational to see what the latest, greatest pick-up lines are. You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man. Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Strat Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Ani: I guess I just wanted to satisfy a curiosity of mine that had been nagging at me. I had ran a search on the name of someone that at one time had my interest, and his name turned up in an ICQ profile.... It surprised me, but then again.... [[Eek!]] who really knows anybody anymore. With all this talk about online romance and stuff, I thought maybe my preconceived perception of love connection sites might have been unfair; now I know better. Anyway, how many Mats Olsson's, Dan South's, Dak's, 20to20's, and Craig Anderton's are out there hanging on date.com sites? Too bad that many of the good men in the real world have already been scooped up or they are far to far away to pursue an interest.Damn, what a horrible view of the opposite sex. I'd hate to live my life with such a dim view of the world. BlueStrat a.k.a. "El Guapo" ...Better fuzz through science... http://geocities.com/teleman28056/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rim Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by bluestrat: Ok, seriously, I have a total lack of self confidence with respect to dating.... Some really good advice from Ken above. Another thing I've tried with some success is to just act like you're confident. Confidence attracts people in general and acting confident may eventually become real confidence. Another thing that's helped me is not to assume the other person is confident. Many people are shy or don't have overflowing self-confidence. So other folks not being responsive may not necessarily mean they're not interested - it may mean they're just a little shy like you are. Recently though, I've apparently been approaching the wrong women. I've had a bad streak recently of saying hello to a woman and she just turns around without uttering a word. Oh well. As somebody else said, it's a numbers game and you just gotta keep trying. Try to keep the goal in your mind and not the bumps on your way there. - Rim aka riffing Double Post music: Strip Down http://rimspeed.com http://loadedtheband.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenElevenShadows Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by bluestrat: Originally posted by Ani: I guess I just wanted to satisfy a curiosity of mine that had been nagging at me. I had ran a search on the name of someone that at one time had my interest, and his name turned up in an ICQ profile.... It surprised me, but then again.... [[Eek!]] who really knows anybody anymore. With all this talk about online romance and stuff, I thought maybe my preconceived perception of love connection sites might have been unfair; now I know better. Anyway, how many Mats Olsson's, Dan South's, Dak's, 20to20's, and Craig Anderton's are out there hanging on date.com sites? Too bad that many of the good men in the real world have already been scooped up or they are far to far away to pursue an interest.Damn, what a horrible view of the opposite sex. I'd hate to live my life with such a dim view of the world. I thought it was a harsh assessment as well. Ani, you left this post just after I posted that a good friend of mine is dating someone he really likes on Yahoo Personals, too. My friend is a great person, someone I admire greatly. He got "scooped up" because maybe, just maybe, he actually connected with someone else who I hope is also good and treats him well. Millions of others post ads in the hopes that they can connect with people, and I'm sure not all of these people are how you paint them to be. Whatever. This isn't an attack on you, Ani. You feel the way you feel. Unfortunately, it smacks of cold hard cynicism to me, and most likely comes from a great deal of pain. Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anifa Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Cynicism is definitely a word that applies to a woman that has been married twice. Maybe it's one of those "Standards too high" bits; but I'm real damn choosey about whom I will give my time to. I don't have a problem in meeting guys, not that I'm aggressive because that's not the case; but offers have always been there. What's to say that the guys online are any different than the men I meet in real life? What's to say that the smooth talk over the internet is anything representative of what they are like as a person; after all I gave online romance a one time chance and it blew up in my face. I have to admit that it was pretty damned humiliting to talk to my friends at work about this really cool guy that I had been talking to from a forum discussion group. There was both positive and negative encouragement from friends at work. As time progressed I had two male friends, one positive about the online romance and single himself, and the other married and positive at first about the online romance... but then his support turned to negative criticism about the guy's sincerity. He saw the red flags early on through conversations where I had talked to him about discussions that I had had with the guy online. He drilled me to call the guy on whether he was genuine or not; told me to insist on a meeting without further delay. Even Dave, the guy that had been supportive throughout the entire duration had began to question whether or not the guy was for real. See, when guys think a girl is a sweetheart, they are protective of her; I have a lot of big brother type friends that look out for me. After calling the sincerity for myself, and giving Ray the answer he was expecting to hear; I had to admit that he was right. Pretty embarrassing situation. I have plenty of offers from men at my work that would like to go out, but I just don't like dating on the job after having a relationship with a coworker go sour. It's very uncomfortable because he still wants the relationship, even after 7 years of being broke up... he screwed around while we were together... no sense in ever rekindling bad. You can take the man away from his music, but you can't take the music out of the man. Books by Craig Anderton through Amazon Sweetwater: Bruce Swedien\'s "Make Mine Music" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winston smith Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Ani: After calling the sincerity for myself, and giving Ray the answer he was expecting to hear; I had to admit that he was right. Pretty embarrassing situation. What did you do ("calling the sincerity for myself")? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DallasPA Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Dont do it!! I've met 2 wives on the internet, and they were the worse women I've ever been involved with. If a woman is single for extended periods of time, and unable to find a man locally theres probably a very good reason why!!!!!! Dallas http://TrilogySound.com Reading, PA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenElevenShadows Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 What if a man is single for extended periods of time? Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soundcrafter Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 I posted it on another thread, but self-confidence is more prevalent here and maybe others besides Bluestrat can benefit from reading it(myself included). It's a very neat look at self-esteem: Overcoming Self-Esteem and Psychotherapy "If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you are a table." -Mitch Hedberg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelo Clematide Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Yes, i think i just did in the last 45 minutes. I guess i have to start some Harassment on her -Peace, Love, and Potahhhhto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeon Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by DallasPA: If a woman is single for extended periods of time, and unable to find a man locally theres probably a very good reason why!!!!!!Very true. But that does not mean there is anything negative (or positive) about the reason why, and for that matter, it may have nothing to do with the woman herself. cheers, aeon Go tell someone you love that you love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeon Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by Ani: What's to say that the guys online are any different than the men I meet in real life? What's to say that the smooth talk over the internet is anything representative of what they are like as a person; after all I gave online romance a one time chance and it blew up in my face.Hey Ani...reading that makes me want to ask you again, since you never answered when I asked you the first time. Ever check out eHarmony? wondering, aeon Go tell someone you love that you love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chip McDonald Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Ha, just did EHarmony, with the following amazingly surprising results: Unable To Match You At This Time eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive testing of married individuals. One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles. If we aren't able to match a user well using these profiles, the most considerate approach is to inform them early in the process. We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match. Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching system is not suitable for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply would not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand that we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time. I guess that pretty much sums up my place in life. Guitar Lessons in Augusta Georgia: www.chipmcdonald.com Eccentric blog: https://chipmcdonaldblog.blogspot.com/ / "big ass windbag" - Bruce Swedien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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